PLEASE GO TO ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
you see,
i had a dream that this happened —
a premonition, if you will.
Ocean Shores eyes,
speckled with gold
i searched for the truth in them.
Lazy foam resting in our glasses,
mystery drink splashed from Gatorade bottles
in movie theater lobbies,
sweaty hands intertwined atop the coaster.
you meant that i was acting like a bitch,
not that you were calling me one.
Twelve steps promised us the world:
sand beneath our feet,
bands of gold,
the western hemisphere,
my cat tiptoeing around the crib.
but you promised you would have just one —
isn’t it enough,
to have a happy life with me?
Words slurred from thirsty mouths
of well-fed drunken men
tell no Lies:
neither did the spit that landed on my face,
or the hands
that dragged my limp body—
that was where I found the truth.
(untitled), from Tears Over Spilled Beer
thick membrane laying along the top of the surface of a bubble or a cell,
“god knows, god knows i want to break free”, freddie croons to me and me alone
freddie and i are different- i will never break through the membrane, and he and He taunt me
i’ll pull out the syringes and knives and broken bottles
but i won’t ever get through
am i even trying???????
the feeling that i get,
Ocean Shores eyes,
when you call me “girlfriend” years after you did in earnest,
we return to Ocean Shores that’s made anew with our battlestruck eyes,
and when i lie in bed after the interest you feigned in me seeps out between my thighs,
reminds me that inside this bubble is where i will die before the new year
“if evolution is a theory, what about the theory of gravity?” i said in 2012
when i was younger,
i knew
how jesus loved us all
until i started wanting
to kiss girls
and getting strange ideas
about evolution
do you think jesus would
still love me
knowing the faggot
that i was to become?
does jesus still love me?
will jesus love me
can jesus love me
can Jesus love me?
could Jesus love me?