Marlaine

Have you ever had a best friend who could have been more? 

As an introverted ninth grader, I didn't go out of my way to be friendly with strangers. Finding someone with whom to share my true feelings and secrets was a challenge. I was the type of person who needed one good friend to confide in. That’s when I met someone special in high school—a friend who stood by me through the ups and downs of navigating life as a freshman in a school of over 3,000 students.

At times, I felt like an oddball, expending too much thought and energy trying to fit in. Then I met her. She was smart, funny, attractive, and an attentive listener to a daydreamer like me.

I’m not sure if she ever wanted to be romantic partners, but if she did, I was oblivious to any hints she might have dropped. I was too caught up in my own challenges at the time. In my quest to be “normal,” I directed all my attention and energy toward fitting in, accepting her support without realizing if I ever gave anything back in return.

I’m not saying she would have been better off with me as a boyfriend; at that time, I likely would have messed that up. But if she did want more, I wish I could have given it to her because she truly deserves the best.

There were moments when I didn’t think I would make it to the next day, but she believed in me.

I remember our phone calls, how she introduced me to Queen, and the lyrics of Billy Joel. I loved the way she laughed at my jokes and how we connected through humor and seriousness. She knew I hated having my picture taken, yet she loved the one of me in my workshop jumpsuit. She cheered me up on my darkest days and made each day at school feel special, knowing someone cared and understood me.

There are no words that can fully express what she meant to me. All I can do is hope that life has repaid her for your kindness and that she knows I will never forget her.

So, here’s my mea culpa. "Marlaine, thank you for shining your light on me during my challenging times. Though it’s 47 years too late, I doubt anything I say now can truly make a difference. Still, I want you to know that a best friend was exactly what I needed when I found you, and you were the best of friends."