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Don't Get Into A Relationship To Avoid Being Alone - Relationship and Divorce Advice

Many people after a break up or divorce get into relationships for the sake of not being alone. Getting into a relationship with someone for the sake of not being by yourself can cause problems down the road. What happens if you pick the FriendFinder.com scam wrong person? Let's say you choose someone and you introduce them to your children or get married. After five or six months, you start to realize that you made a mistake in selecting this person. What do you do now? This is what happened to Ben. "When my marriage with my very loud and overbearing American wife ended Nicola, all I wanted was a quiet and simple life" he said. So soon after he started dating a lady who could barely speak English from Sri Lanka. She kept the house clean, cooked good meals and was always pleased to see him. But within a short-time he found himself taking on datemyage scam  more and more of her family responsibilities. First the children, then the parents and then an aunt. He also realized that good conversation is key in a relationship for him and felt lonelier than ever in his own home, despite being surrounded by other people. His keenness to avoid alone time led him to get with the first person that showed him love and attention, had he thought more clearly about what he wanted and needed in a relationship long-term he wouldn't have made that choice.

It is important after a long-term break up or divorce to ensure you remove any baggage from the past and explore what you do and don't want in a relationship. This is part of what I cover in post-separation and divorce dating coaching sessions. You may think you want the total opposite to your ex, but something attracted you to that person asiandate review in the first place, so the total opposite often doesn't work. As Janine also found out the hard way. Janine's husband was sporty, handsome and out every night. She longed for him to have more nights in with her and for him to acknowledge all what she did for him in the home, plus the effort she put into looking good. She used to spend hours exercising, getting her hair, make up and nails done to keep attractive. But he didn't seem to notice. She put up with it for years because even though he didn't give her any affection or attention, at least she wasn't on her own. When she found out he was having an affair, she started one herself and left the marriage for Edward. Edward was the complete opposite, he rarely went out, had few friends and liked to read and play chess. At least he will be in the house with me at night and on weekends she thought. But after a while she realised they had nothing in common and were not a good match after all. Some of my clients that have been divorced twice, say the second marriage didn't work out because they married their ex all over again. So today I wanted to offer some tips on handling loneliness.

1, Stop Comparing

Loneliness is a state of mind and it is often the result of us comparing ourselves and situation to others. When we compare our life with married friends and family or those living with children, we can create a feeling of loneliness and fear that we Happn review will always be alone. The same can happen when you compare yourself to your life years before, or compare yourself to other long-term single friends and say well they have been single for a long-time, so I will be too. When you compare you are only hurting yourself and can bring on the feeling of loneliness and fear. Thankfully I realized this over a decade ago now. I couldn't figure out why Christmas, Birthdays and Valentines, I felt so low and alone. Why when surrounded by loving friends and family at Christmas did I feel bad, it made no sense. It was because I was comparing myself to an ideal of what I thought I should have, judging myself. And yet I took no action to create what I wanted. When I realized that I was doing this to myself and creating my own loneliness I made a vow to never compare or judge myself again. I learnt how to switch my thought pattern, this is something I do now with my clients. If they have any thoughts not allowing them peace we recognise them and change them. Christmas, Birthdays, Ramadan, Valentines can be trigger points for unhelpful comparisons. Key is to stop comparing and change your Russian Brides review  focus. Next is about taking action to feel better see below. You see Nicola our thoughts create our emotions, but the good thing is we can change our thoughts.

2, Take Action

Rather than jump into a relationship, the below actions are what has worked or is working for my clients. I am sharing them in case it may help you.

1. Animals

Spending some time with animals can get rid of loneliness. Get a pet, offer to pet sit for friends or volunteer at your local Coffee Meets Bagel.com animal charity / shelter. Many find walking or petting animals can be very effective in managing loneliness. Animals are a great source for companionship.

2. Physical Activities

you may be sick of hearing it, apologies if you are and I appreciate that we all already know physical activity is beneficial for mental and physical health. But it also a great way many of my clients meet new friends. There are so many sports clubs these days desert hiking, swimming, cycling, volleyball, football, tennis etc.Personally I love to walk and practice yoga. There are so many options available to us, the first step is to just show up and start. If you struggle to get started and procrastinate you are not alone, myself included. My trick for getting yourchristiandate scam started is simply setting a date, making it a "must do" not a 'should do' and making myself accountable by telling people I am going to do it. Failing that I find someone to join me so we start together. Feel free to email me what you plan to start doing and I will follow up with you..

3. Hobbies

Find something you like to do and get involved. Checkout meet up groups, LinkedIn and Facebook groups for events, time out, Groupon and the paper for activities and start trying them. Here are some of the new activities my clients in the GCC have started: cake decorating, making sushi, fishing, painting, cooking, knitting, make up lessons, gaming groups, voice over groups and toast masters public speaking group. This is also a great way to make new friends. Or if you have children make friends through children's activities.

4. Start a Group

If there is really nothing that appeals to you - start your own group. I helped 3 of my clients do this. For example Debbie in Saudi started a women's yoga and healing group, Mohammed started a Financial Club for those interested in Investment in the GCC markets. David works on his own as a freelance graphic designer. He felt pretty lonely when his marriage ended and doesn't enjoy team sports, he prefers swimming and running solo. But all of his sudden alone time was driving him crazy. He couldn't find a group that interested him, so we looked at setting up his own networking group with his favourite clients and some friends. He invited marketing, IT and Media clients to join and not only now has an active social life, he has increased his volume of business so much he now employs two other people. He no longer feels lonely.