Anonymity and mutual respect of boundaries are essential to providing a healing experience to each of us. Most of us have had great difficulty establishing our boundaries, assertiveness, and personal space. We are sensitive to cross-talk. Our purpose is not to give advice or try to fix one another, but rather to create a safe environment where we can experience and share our pain.
We have found that:
1. It is OK to feel.
2. It is OK to make mistakes.
3. It is OK to have respectful conflict.
4. It is OK to have needs and ask for them to be met.
5. It is important to respect others (partners and others in the group).
It is important to avoid self righteous statements, baiting or button-pushing statements, case-building statements, and the taking or sharing of another person’s inventory.
6. It is important to respect ourselves and to avoid self put-downs and self-pity.
It is helpful to take ownership of our own story and to take credit for our progress and work in recovery.
7. Anonymity is our spiritual foundation. Whom you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here.
We have care and concern for ourselves and our coupleships. We meet to both receive and provide the nurturing our relationships need to grow and endure. For that reason, it is important for us to act and speak respectfully to our partners and others. As we do this, we value the group and the relationships in it.
RCA Safety Guidelines from page 55 -"Recovering Couples Anonymous: A Twelve Step Program For Couples 4th edition of the basic text" 2011.