Fathers and Partners

Link to the Sands site with resources and support for men and those who want to help them.

Blog on what finding your way means to me.

Contains information that many fathers whose baby or babies have died said they needed to know. In time, their partner might find it helpful to read it too.

Miscarriage can be a very distressing experience for a couple. Your partner has the physical trauma to deal with, and you have also suffered a loss that you may find painful.

We hope that this leaflet will help you to understand and cope with your own feelings about your miscarriage as well as your partner’s.

Ways to help, support and understand your partner after a stillbirth

Supporting people who have experienced an early pregnancy complication and the health care professionals who care for them

For both parents, a wanted pregnancy is a time of hope, filled with expectations for their future with a new baby. However, parents who find out their baby has a genetic or structural condition can be faced with a difficult decision about the future of their pregnancy. In these distressing circumstances some men can feel as though they must stay strong for the sake of their partner and neglect their needs. ARC has written 'Help for Fathers' with the aim of helping men to feel better able to cope with their loss and express their grief.

This information is based on our work with fathers who have lost a baby after a prenatal diagnosis. It talks about some of the emotions other men have felt, and gives advice on how to cope, based on their experiences.

If you haven’t already read Coping With Pregnancy Loss, I wrote it to let you understand yourself better, navigate healthcare, feel stronger, and remember your baby. There are several places you can purchase the book – some are cheaper than others. If you cannot afford the book, please ask your library to stock it as that will help you and other readers. And if you would like to leave a review online, please do, it really helps!

An expedition into the outer reaches of my deliberations on Stillbirth, Acting, Geek Lifestyle and Black Identity

The limits we apply to ourselves and others and how harmful that can be to ourselves and to those we love.

'I wanted to share those stories and feelings to encourage other fathers to talk about their experiences and not feel alone.'

Coping with loss after miscarriage is never going to be easy. Neither for mum or dad. It’s often the way, however, that dad can be forgotten about. Dads often think that they have to keep strong and keep going, yet actually, we want to grieve and deal with our emotions too.

A helpful infographic on the scale of miscarriage, and coping tips can be found on the site.

Five Things is a collection of the five things our collaborators want you to know about life, death and everything in between. Over the next few months, we’ll be covering illness, dying, death, funerals, grief, heartache, adversity and many other topics.

“Men don’t grieve in that they don’t feel the failure of their body. Women’s grief is more intense and self-blaming,” explains Irving Leon, a psychologist who specializes in reproductive loss and an adjunct associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Michigan. “Men aren’t as oriented to express the loss. They’re afraid they if they show hurt or sadness, it will bring the wife down.”

"Partners were not expected to be upset about pregnancy loss, were largely excluded within the health-care system while simultaneously expected to provide care to their wives and girlfriends during any treatment and beyond."

While it is couples who are "having a baby", miscarriages only happen to women. But minimising the grief of fathers is damaging

"I’ve set this blog up, just over three years after our son died, to try and chart this journey a bit more, to share what we’re involved in and what we’re learning along the way – as activists for stillbirth reduction and, more importantly, as parents feeling our way through this most unconventional of parenting journeys."

Four single parents share their experience of going through baby loss alone and give advice to others in the same position.