Lessons You Won't Find in Class

Knowing when it’s time to go, cut your losses, and swallow your ego is an ongoing effort and practice. Recognizing when your energy and resources are being unjustifiably drained is a survival skill you’ll need for the rest of your life. “The show must go on” is not productive if the only audience you’re performing for is yourself. I put one hundred effort into everything I commit myself to, which makes coming to the realization of (and committing to) needing to quit extremely difficult and almost emotional. There are very few things in this life worth your peace - a school club or a bad friendship are definitely not one of those things. It’s easy to commit your allegiance to the idea of something instead of the real thing; reexamine your own expectations and ask yourself, “What am I really getting out of this?” Don’t forget your spine at home and learn how to quit: respectfully, thoughtfully, and empathetically.

There will be times where you feel imposter syndrome hit you like a truck; you won’t be able to shake the idea you aren’t meant to be in the room you’ve been invited into. It’s true that there will always be a “smartest person in the room” - don’t count out that it might be you! If you’ve accepted a job, a scholarship, or are starting a brand new social adventure, walk into that space with your head high and the confidence that you deserve the good that’s come your way. Anticipating feeling intimidated is self-sabotage: remind yourself that you own the room. Be the thing that intimidates. Do you know what to do when you really are the smartest in the room? Find a new one. Keep your circle full of those who can help you learn, grow, and be better.

A simple rule of thumb: do not take advice from anyone you would not ask advice from. Unsolicited life planning is seemingly a gift from people who love to talk, and not everyone will have something worth listening to. Taking advice you don’t need or does not apply to you can have you feeling out of sorts and doubtful of your own design. Knowing yourself, deeply and intrinsically, is the first step to knowing what to keep and what to let roll off your shoulders (including this piece! You’re welcome to take and leave what best serves you, dear readers).

One of the tougher hills to climb as you build your self confidence is learning how to take yourself seriously. Part of this lesson begins with having the courage to stick your neck out and take a few chances. If you have an inkling of a curiosity about anyone or anything, don’t hold back from asking about it. Apply to that job, audition for that group, send that LinkedIn message. Reaching out to people is the best way to learn and it may lead you down a path you would have never found had you not inquired. All this comes down to a bottom line: asking a question is never as bad as missing an opportunity.

Nothing says “I care about you” like someone thinking to pick up your coffee order. Maybe you’d swoon if someone bought you flowers, no matter how simple of a gesture. Therein lies the trick, however - becoming mesmerized by the romantics of small gestures make them much bigger than they are. In dreaming of waiting for someone to do these for you, you accidentally make them unattainable (and might afford too much credit to someone doing the bare minimum for you). Any time you wish for those small things, get them yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and the rest will follow: stop and smell the flowers you buy for yourself.

EmPublish is a space for student publications and social discourse - diverse perspectives, rhetoric, and personalities encapsulate Empower's original goal of inclusion in the female community. EmPublish is open to members looking to write and be published.

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