Fear & Destruction

A Student's Point of View

I walk into school. 

I try to keep my distance from everyone.

I walk past those I used to know almost as if they are strangers. 

I have no desire for conversation, 

Instead I observe the actions of others. 

The fighting and crystal clear anger. 

This is what surrounds me as I walk into a place where I am supposed to learn. 

The negativity becomes overwhelming. 

I see how people have no way to express how they feel, or how to keep it real with others. 

In a way I feel as if they are hurting, 

I have no idea what goes on at home or what they think about when they are alone. 

But this anger has to come from somewhere, it can't just appear because someone started a rumor. 

The desire to hurt each other in this generation is shocking. 

So many friendships have gone from good to no longer talking. 

I come from a Christian school, where their main rule is to follow the law of kindness. 

I enter a public school blindly. 

I hear how people talk to each other and how love can turn into hate in less than one day. 

This is not what I used to know,

Friendship was once a treasure and something to hold. 

Now it means nothing.  

The expectations that we have for each other, I view it as the start of our downfall. 

School is supposed to be a place where a teacher can help their student to succeed. 

Instead it’s full of balled up fists and hearts pleading to be heard and seen. 

Not many kids seem to come together and realize it's supposed to be them against the problem not them against each other . 

I realize that everyone has a lesson that needs to be learned and a level of maturity that needs to be reached before they can see that fighting was never the answer. 

Communication is and always will be the key. Some of us are too stubborn to open our eyes and see this. 

It’s almost as if there’s a point  to prove to everyone else, what about themselves. 

Students of today's age I urge you to see that this affects your future and your soul in its entirety.

-Eliana Pagan

Someone I Used to Miss

In the kitchen she stands
Chilled to the bone
Small and withering like deaths perfect vision
Flirting with demons
Masochistic
Wanting to tease the tongue
Sniffing feeling seeing
Never tasting anything but sweet corruption
Pour black coffee into the 

Skull face

Jutting bones sharp knives
My mind a lost battle
Self-mutilation becomes control
Nothing but ribs and sharp teeth
I eat away at myself
Hourglass figure has become my hourglass 

You look healthy 

The vehement words 

-Marlene Muhammad

Soulless Treadmill

Toil, toil, don’t look back,

just toil they say.

Dream and toil but don’t you dare to fade away.

The more you do the bigger the reward,

but how come that I have the reward but lack delight.

Smile throughout the day and cry at night.

There’s light, I believe there’s radiant light,

but how do you pretend to see it if you don’t fight?

Fight what, a battle with oneself,

already in one, and there has rarely been an armistice.

Waged war on inhibition and intrusive thoughts, 

it seems endless and no victory so far.

The devastating humdrum worsens, and when new good times come,

the damage has already opened deep wounds,

struggling to repair and rejoice the blessings.

All is transient, not in vain hope is deemed powerful.

Hope, hope wards off the self-consuming catalyst.

Hope gives soul to the soulless treadmill.

Tricks and Distortion

Eyes open, heavy with fatigue

My feet take me down the stairs, and under their weight, floorboards creak

A beam of light, my soldier for the night

keeping the surrounding darkness at bay 

Strange noises fill the empty space, in a corner…a face? 

Beads of sweat form on my brow, and I suddenly wonder where I am now

What was once my home, turns into a dark space unknown

My mind distorts everything I see, and panic rises within me. 

Every noise and distorted figure amplified by fear

My soldier cowers and runs and is now nowhere near

I turn around and run in haste, I see a door and grab at its handle, but it’s too late

Before me, stands a tall figure, white pupils, and a mouth full of sharp teeth

My body jolts awake, and it takes a few seconds before all I feel is soothing relief