Date: 12/16/2024
Time: 7:52 PM
Mood: Afraid
Every day is starting to become harder than the last. I feel like a joke, a failure regarding my work. I feel like I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, not that that analogy makes much sense. Guns are pointed at me daily. Better yet, I feel like I am suffocating. Sinking deeper and deeper into the sand, desperately crawling my way out but the exit moves faster than I can catch up. It's not that I feel like too much is expected of me, or I feel like I'm not doing enough, I feel fine in that regard. I feel like I shouldn't be here, holding this position. I feel like more often lately I've been letting down my peers and members of command. I feel everyone's eyes piercing into my back, and I don't know what to do. Honestly, I'm scared. Not just scared but fucking terrified.