Pride and Prejudice

The time is 4:20am. Albert is still asleep. Patrick awakens and has no idea where he is. After walking around, he encounters a burning bush possessed by the spirit of W.H. Auden. Auden guides Patrick into hell through the second circle, Lust. There, they encounter their first pair, Fitzwilliam Darcey and Elizabeth Bennett from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. The pair is forever being tossed around in a storm. Patrick reflects upon the encounter in his first short story.

Canto I

I seemed to have forgotten exactly

Where I am, or how I came here to be.

But after I wandered, I heard a hush.

There in front was a small and burning bush.

The bush approached me and said this here, “I

Am Auden; like Polyphemus’s eye,

I am forever blind. In my despair,

I had come here to lead you without care.”

I followed the bush to the first layer,

There we met a small and sad crying pair.

In my own tears and question, I asked them,

“What crime was done such that your fate did stem?”

I am Elizabeth, and he, Darcy.

We are prisoners of our own true love.

Society deems our love heresy,

and now I know 'twas not love from above.

a short story by patrick:

Fitzwilliam Darcy, a very handsome and rich man who owns and manages the Pemberley estate in England, has recently been wronged. His lover, Elizabeth Bennet, has been kidnapped by the womanizer known as George Wickham. The tale is about how Darcy attempts to win Elizabeth's love back.

Darcy sought a place to write love letters to Elizabeth in an attempt to win her love. He decided to go to one of his estates in Pemberley in order to write letters in private. While wandering through his house, he ran into an old gardener whom he had never seen before.

"Who are you?" asked the astonished Mr. Darcy.

"Patrick," said the man.

"I must apologize for my rudeness, but I do not think we have ever met before. Were you perhaps a retired gardener brought in from the time of my father?"

"No," said Patrick.

"Okay, cool, well, I will see you later then, good sir!" replied Darcy as he walked away.

"You came here for a purpose," said Patrick right as Darcy was leaving.

The handsome Darcy looked back at him and whispered coyly,

"How did you know...?"

"I have had prophecies of your coming here!" replied Patrick.

He then transformed into his true form - a 6" wooden figurine - and smiled sharply at Darcy. Darcy, astonished, was about to retreat in the opposite direction and yell for help when suddenly, Patrick POUNCED ON DARCY and said,

"I CAN HELP YOU FIND WICKHAM!!"

Patrick helped Darcy through his thoughts and how to eloquently portrays his feelings toward Elizabeth in his letters. Through Patrick's guidance, Darcy was able to lay out a clear guide as to why Wickham was a terrible match for Elizabeth.

"The man is nothing but a blowhard. Hardly a man of stature, he has no money, and is not a gentleman."

Darcy wrote his heart out on paper about the contemptible Wickham.

The handsome Darcy waited outside of Elizabeth's house, expecting to eventually see his beloved walk out. Little did Darcy know that it was really the young Elizabeth who was waiting for Darcy as well. The two waited for each other until eventually Wickham appeared.

Seeing the crafty Darcy, Wickham ran out and yelled ungentlemanly things.

"You are a fool, Darcy, for thinking that you could ever win back Elizabeth," said Wickham.

"I mean no harm, only to deliver this letter to the young Elizabeth," replied Darcy.

"What's in it?" asked Wickham.

"Oh, nothing at all."

"Surely, Mr. Darcy, you cannot mistake me for a foolish fool. There must be some contents in that letter for which you would want to give this to Elizabeth!"

"Okay, fine, there is something in it."

"What's in it then?"

"Nothing," replied Darcy.

The exchange continued for quite some time until Patrick showed up and shot an arrow through Wickham's heart. The arrow was special and it belonged to Kamadeva, the Indian god of love. The arrow immediately made Wickham fall out of love with Elizabeth. Also, since his heart was shot through by an arrow, Wickham died shortly afterward and went straight to hell. There was no redemption, no reincarnation (that's right I'm looking at YOU, Ravana), and no one cared.

Darcy, seeing his chance, immediately ran to the gate and handed Elizabeth the letter.

Patrick smiled like a Cheshire Cat and disappeared~

author's notes:

I got the idea for this production from the scene in the Ramayana where Rama walks up a mountain and encounters Hanuman in disguise. Hanuman then tests Rama about what his purpose is and then tells Rama of how Vali had committed evil against Sugreeva. Sugreeva cannot go down the mountain anymore.

I really liked the idea of Rama running into a disguised Sugreeva and it tied in perfectly with what I read this week - Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I figured I could write a little fan fiction of how Darcy writes his letter to Lizzie and figured it would be a lot of fun to add Patrick into the mix as well.

I took the same plot of Rama going up the mountain and replaced it with Darcy walking around his Pemberley estate. I also replaced Sugreeva in disguise with Patrick in disguise as a gardener. The twist comes from Patrick helping Darcy out instead of vice versa. I basically changed the ending of what happened up there in the mountain in the Ramayana and created this masterpiece.

Lastly, the beginning of the story is like the first Canto of the Inferno. Dante awakens and has no idea where he is, and Virgil guides him through hell. The first pair they meet is Paolo and Francesca who are forever being tossed around in a storm representing how they let their lust overcome their reason when they were alive. I thought it fitting to have Elizabeth and Darcy go through the same thing except that their sin is disregarding society's standard for what marriage should be.

For the Canto, I attempted to make an iambic pentameter poem with an (AABB AABB AABB ABAB) rhyme scheme.

I also thought it would be hilarious to send Wickham to hell. I hate Wickham and a lot of the books we read in the Auden class had elements of people going through hell and I just could not help myself.

thanks for reading~~

pat

Bibliography:

- Narayan, R. K., and Kampan. The Ramayana: a Shortened Modern Prose Version of the Indian Epic

- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen Pride and Prejudice

photo of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy taken from amazon and more info at Pride and Prejudice Movie

source image of Paolo and Francesca being tossed in the storm