Chapter 2

DAY 11

“Forgive and Forget? When Pigs Fly!

 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.                                          Matthew 6:14–15

Famous oil tycoon John D. Rockefeller built the hugely successful Standard Oil Company, known today as BP/Amoco. He was notorious as an employer who demanded high performance from employees. Firings often happened at the drop of a hat. Most employees had a healthy fear of Mr. Rockefeller.

One day, an executive in the company made a two–million–dollar mistake. Word of the huge blunder spread like Smokey the Bear’s wildfire. Soon everyone in the executive offices knew about it. The other executives made themselves scarce, not wanting Rockefeller to fire them too.

One man couldn’t avoid the notorious tyrant, however, since he had an appointment with the boss and simply couldn’t hide. So he tightened his belt, straightened his shoulders and strode into Rockefeller’s office. As he approached, the CEO looked up from something he had been writing.

“I suppose you’ve heard of the two–million–dollar mistake,” Rockefeller said.

“Yes, sir, I have,” the employee admitted, expecting the oil king to explode.

“Well,” Rockefeller explained instead, “I’ve just been sitting here making a list of all his good qualities on this sheet of paper. I’ve discovered that in the past he has made us many times more money than the amount he cost us today by this one mistake. His good points far outweigh his one human error. So I think we ought to forgive him, don’t you?” [1]

The Bible commands that we forgive those who hurt us. But it says nothing about forgetting. There are good reasons to remember both the offense and the forgiveness. One concern many have about forgiving is that it might happen again. It’s godly wisdom to remember the hurt you’ve experienced, so you can limit chances of it happening again. Another reason to remember that you’ve forgiven the offender is to pray for them (Matthew 5:44).  Third, you can celebrate the power of forgiveness. Forgive? Yes! Forget? Not so much!

WHAT’S THE POINT: Forgiving is necessary for your own healing. Forgetting may cost you a great learning opportunity—and God’s life rewards.

PRAYER: Dear Jesus, help me forgive others as I hope they forgive me. Remind me of the power unleashed by forgiving another. Amen!

INTERACT: How impactful is it that God’s forgiveness of you is conditioned by your forgiveness of another (see today’s Scripture)?

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• Here’s an incident in my life that illustrates this lesson:_____________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________

• Here’s why it seems so hard to forgive:__________________________

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DAY 12

“The Lie of a Grudge”

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.              Colossians 3:13

Gordon Wilson had every reason to hold a grudge. In November 1987, an Irish Republican Army bomb blew Enniskillen, Northern Ireland to smithereens. Wilson and his 20–year–old daughter were trapped beneath the rubble. Only hours after the blast, Gordon spoke to the BBC. He described their last conversation. Marie squeezed Gordon’s hand and said, “Daddy, I love you very much.” Her last words!

In what became known as The Spirit of Enniskillen, Wilson publicly forgave his precious daughter’s killers and promised to pray for them. He also urged Northern Ireland Protestants not to retaliate. He is credited with helping end the Troubles in Ireland. Today the Bill Clinton Center for peace stands on the blast site.

Sometimes I wish the whole forgiveness conundrum would just go away. I’m tired of wrestling with hurt and bitterness and wondering when it’s going to happen again.

Forgiveness seems excruciatingly difficult; in fact, the Big Liar says it’s impossible. We get tired of failed relationships, hard feelings and the general alienation that come around in life. And it doesn’t always help when someone else reminds us that we have to forgive, even if it’s God speaking.

One reason this whole forgiveness thing can be so excruciating is that the Liar–in–Chief makes such a big deal of it. Some people spend a lifetime holding onto bitterness that turns to hatred and poisons their existence. Unforgiveness pollutes interpersonal relationships and stunts our relationship with God. Satan stirs up hatred and tells us we have the right to hate. “In fact,” he says, “you should punish the other person by hating them.”

Most of all, “the Father of Lies” tells us there’s no hope of ever forgiving those who have hurt us the most. In fact, he says we can’t even want to get over it. He’s a Liar!

Bishop T.D. Jakes says, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting on the other person to die. You have to LET IT GO!” [2] The best reason to forgive might be, it’s therapeutic for the one offended. Holding a grudge hurts you more than anyone else.

WHAT’S THE POINT: Forgiving is like the antidote to snake venom. Life can never be what God intends until you deal with forgiveness of an offender.

PRAYER: Dear Jesus, show me how powerful forgiveness is in producing lifelong healing. Amen!

INTERACT: How can God’s forgiveness of you be helpful in forgiving another?___________________________________________________

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• Holding a grudge is like:_____________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________

• Here’s how past grudge–holding has poisoned my life:_____________

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DAY 13

“Watch Your Back, Anthony!”

I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.                                                John 14:16–17

Judith Viorst’s children’s book, I’ll Fix Anthony, [3] describes, in a young boy’s words, the problem with hurt and the powerful urge for revenge—all within the context of “family.”

“My brother Anthony can read books now, but he won’t read any books to me. He plays checkers with Bruce from his school. But when I want to play he says, “Go away or I’ll clobber you.” I let him wear my Snoopy sweatshirt, but he never lets me borrow his sword. Mother says deep down in his heart Anthony loves me. Anthony says deep down in his heart he thinks I stink. Mother says deep down in his heart, where he doesn’t even know it, Anthony loves me. Anthony says deep down in his heart he still thinks I stink. When I’m six, I’ll fix Anthony.

“When I’m six, I’ll float, but Anthony will sink to the bottom. I’ll dive off the board, but Anthony will change his mind. I’ll breathe in and out when I should, but Anthony will only go glug, glug.

“When I’m six my teeth will fall out, and I’ll put them under the bed, and the Tooth Fairy will take them away and leave dimes. Anthony’s teeth won’t fall out. He’ll wiggle and wiggle them, but they won’t fall out. I might sell him one of my teeth, but I might not.

“Anthony is chasing me out of the playroom. He says I stink. He says he is going to clobber me. I have to run now, but I won’t have to run when I’m six. When I’m six, I’ll fix Anthony!”

Hurt happens! Human nature ensures that. Fallen human nature makes us selfish. Our self–interests often collide with someone else’s. To be human means to wrestle with pain now and then, maybe often! Yes, hurt happens! And it’s sometimes much more serious than Anthony’s sibling rivalry. Satan picks at the scabs on our fresh scars. He wants us never to forgive. How does God want us to deal with this painful issue? Read on.

WHAT’S THE POINT: Satan lies when he says you cannot forgive. If you do forgive, he loses. And he’s very competitive!

PRAYER: Dear Jesus, Forgiving can be hard, but You say it’s possible to forgive. I’ll need Your help. Amen!

INTERACT: What part does “the Spirit of truth” play in forgiveness (today’s Scripture)?__________________________________________

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• I’ve experienced pain from sibling rivalries. Here’s how I react:

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• How does the younger brother in this story resonate with you?

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DAY 14

“Get On With It!”

One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.                                             Philippians 3:13b–14

Happiness in life often rests on our ability to deal with our hurts, then move forward. Satan doesn’t want any lasting happiness for anyone—remember, he wants to destroy you. So, he stirs up the pain and tries to convince you that you can never forgive, that you can’t get on with life. Considering our sin nature and the power of hatred and bitterness, the only sure hope for overcoming hurt is to seek divine help!

Are you believing the lie? Many people really want to overcome their internal injuries—why wouldn’t they? But many of those same people have believed Satan’s lie that if you forgive, then the person who has hurt you so much is getting off scot–free!

Because they haven’t learned the truth from God’s Word, they go on in their suffering, bitterness, even hatred. And that bitterness and hatred consume them—just as the devil intends. That’s why he tells this lie. Because, if you forgive, he loses.

The long–term refusal to forgive someone who has wounded you deeply is like cancer. Left to itself, it grows in secret. It saps your energy, including physical health. Someone has labeled it psychosomatic illness, or physical disorders caused, or influenced, by emotional factors. We’ll likely never know how many bodies have been wrecked by the emotional toll exacted by unforgiveness. And it’s mostly attributed to people who are unable to separate the devil’s lies about forgiveness from God’s truth.

If you can’t bring yourself to stop blaming and start extending grace because it blesses your opponent, at least forgive because it can save your own life. Surviving and thriving hang in the balance. Ask God to give you the strength to forgive—get on with it!

WHAT’S THE POINT: The bitterness and hatred that result from refusing to forgive can literally ruin your health. God will help you overcome all that. It may be the difference between illness and wellness.

PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I’ve tasted bitter unforgiveness. It tastes sour. Please sweeten my life with Your grace. Amen!

INTERACT: I’ll “press on to win God’s prize” by _________________

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• Here’s a story about someone who was poisoned by unforgiveness:___ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________

• Lord God, please give me grace to pray for forgiveness for: (name please) 

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DAY 15

“Love God. Hate His Favorite Creation!”

Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.  1 John 4:20–21

Maybe you’ve known people who love the outdoors: the spectacular scenery, the stunning varieties of flora and fauna, the unique organization of nature. Some are fond of God’s creation, yet have disdain for many people who populate their lives. They may have horror stories about what a parent or brother or sister (or spouse) did to them. And often, they miss the puzzling contrast of loving nature yet hating people. Satan’s lie bears bitter fruit!

We can comprehend the difference, perhaps. The beauty of nature seems more benign, more benevolent. Most Alaskans don’t make that mistake. The 87–year–old Grandma who was killed by an alligator in Florida learned differently. Nature can be fierce—never turn your back.

Our love for God is reflected in our love for His creation (including humans). The Apostle John fleshes out the disparity of this condition.

What are the ‘seen’ and ‘not seen’ in 1 John 4:20? Other people, some of whom are antagonists to us, are the ‘seen’ in this verse. The outdoors and its visible beauty are also seen. God, our Creator and Savior, is the ‘not seen.’ We might have difficulty loving some of those who are all too physically present in our lives. Loving the unseen can be even harder.

Logic suggests that, as physical beings, we should find it easier to love what we can see, as compared to loving an invisible, purely–spiritual God, whom we cannot see. This sets us up for a practical statement by the Apostle John.

Can I claim to love God, who is unseen, transcendent, above and beyond my tactile ability to grasp, if I refuse to love other people present in a totally practical, physical form? John said, “It can’t be done. It’s impossible.” If I refuse to love and forgive others who are flesh–’n–blood, how dare I claim to love God who is totally spirit, ethereal and untouchable?

WHAT’S THE POINT: Loving God requires loving His creation, people. If you don’t love both, the Bible says “You’re a liar!”

PRAYER: Father God, loving my brother or sister can be challenging. I’ll need Your help. Amen!

INTERACT: Here’s why I might need to rethink my declarations of love:_

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• Do you need God to grow His divine love in you? How might He do that?__________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________

• I need outside help to grow my brother/sister love. Here’s someone who might be able to help me do just that:_____________________________

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DAY 16

SELF–DECEIVER

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.                                                                                                                 James 1:22

I went to my Doctoral Dissertation course at winter seminary in San Diego, ready to build on this main point (the thesis statement): “Improving biblical literacy will help people make better decisions in life.” My advisor was unconvinced. He said that people listen to Scripture all the time, then turn away and do their own thing. Biblical literacy isn’t enough. As James asserted, “Do what it says.” P.S.: my advisor and I agreed on: “BE YE DOERS OF THE WORD: Integrating Biblical Truth into Critical Decision Making.” That’s something I could sink my academic chompers into.

How can you apply God’s truth to your own life? My friend and editor, April Emery, rightly corrected me by saying that I cannot apply the Bible to anyone else’s life. Each individual must be willing to do that for ourselves. Others can be a big help, but only to a point.

James also makes a vital assertion: “If you don’t apply God’s truth to life, you’re deceiving yourself.” I tend to blame the devil for pretty much everything. He’s an easy and deserving target for blame. But I can also be my own deceiver. I need to take more personal responsibility!

The Bible says Living a Lie is claiming to love God while at the same time hating my brother (or anyone else) and refusing to forgive. Living the Truth is agreeing with 1 John 4:20, “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother or sister, he is a liar” (God’s own words, not mine!).

The book of James is incisive, pointed, has an edge and powerfully impacts the reader’s thinking. You can’t get much sharper and more pointed than today’s passage. Let it zing you right between the eyes. Own your decisions—and align them with God’s truth. Turn what you read and hear from Scripture into decisive action. That’s what the Bible can do!

WHAT’S THE POINT: Satan is a big–time deceiver—the Biggest! But we can deceive ourselves too. Read and hear God’s Word, then figure out how to make it real in daily life.

PRAYER: Precious Lord, Scripture only helps when I apply it in real life. I need Your help. Amen!

INTERACT: Describe a time you heard God’s truth then went your own way:______________________________________________________

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• Why is applying Scripture to life so challenging?__________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________

• What would your life be like if the Bible didn’t exist?______________

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• I need to take personal responsibility for this situation:_____________

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DAY 17

“What Forgiveness Ain’t”

Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self... (Colossians 3:9–10)

One thing that complicates this whole forgiveness business is that the devil lies to us about what constitutes true forgiveness. He likes to say that forgiving goes against human nature, or that forgiveness gives the offender an avenue to hurt you again, or you’re not worthy of being treated with respect. Take a look at what forgiveness is NOT:

Forgiveness ain’t simply overlooking or ignoring the wrong someone has done against you, even though that wrong may be very real, indeed.

Forgiveness ain’t simply dismissing the wrong: “Forget it happened.” Of course it matters. Neither you nor the offender is helped by blowing off what happened.

Forgiveness ain’t minimizing the wrong that was done. And it may be huge. When confronted, some offenders poo–poo the seriousness of what they did. But the magnitude of our hurt often complicates the process of forgiving.

Forgiveness ain’t necessarily getting rid of sad or disappointed feelings, as nice as that would be. Embracing Bobby McFerrin’s hit song, “Don’t Worry, be Happy!” [4] doesn’t begin to solve the problem. A deeper, more comprehensive approach is needed to root out the damaging emotions of being hurt.

Forgiveness ain’t merely a one–and–done event. You will most likely have to forgive over–and–over. Even if you achieve reconciliation with your opponent, the emotions may boil up at the most unexpected moments. If your bitterness comes back, don’t feel like you’ve failed. Take the steps to forgive again—and again, as many times as needed.

Forgiveness ain’t taking the blame for what someone else has done. Assigning blame can backfire, of course. People often hurt others, then try to shift the blame. (Please forgive all my crass “ain’t”s. I know they’re crude, but they sure make the point!)

It’s important to acknowledge our own offenses and seek to resolve the division. It’s necessary to admit our part in the schism if we contributed to the fracture.  When you’re trying to heal a broken relationship, leave every door (and window) open to repair the breach of trust.

WHAT’S THE POINT: Much refusal to forgive grows from a misunderstanding of what forgiveness really is. Learn God’s truth about forgiveness.

PRAYER: Dear Jesus, help me cut through the fog of lies and find truth that will promote better relationships. Amen!

INTERACT: I’ve grown in this way by “taking off the old and putting on the new” (today’s verses):

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• What is the lie about forgiveness that plagues you most?____________

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• I am planning to try this to heal a relationship, with God’s guidance:__

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DAY 18

“What Forgiveness IS”

But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.                                                              John 16:13

Reality reminds us that not every rift will be healed. Despite all your efforts to smooth over an offense or make amends and begin a new chapter, it takes two to Tango. Sometimes every attempt to bridge a breach will be rejected. God is there for you in that time, too. If the offending party doesn’t repent, then it takes a different kind of forgiveness; the kind that doesn’t result in reconciliation between parties, but does align you with Scripture.

Healing is often the result of knowing and applying the truth about what forgiveness IS:

It’s giving up anger, bitterness, even hatred against someone (Ephesians 4:31). Let God take it away, no matter what the other person does or says. Healing seldom happens in an instant. God often uses time to make delicate repairs. Trust Him and let Him work all things together for the good of both parties, for all who love Him and are called, according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Forgiveness is deciding to let God be God (Romans 12:19), and not trying to be God yourself, judging someone who has injured you. It’s tempting to look for ways to strike back and hurt the other person. But God wants to redeem not just the situation, but everyone involved. He is dedicated to best outcomes.

It’s declining to punish someone else for what they’ve done to you (Hebrews 10:30). Let God do that.

Forgiveness is putting the person who has hurt us in God’s hands, allowing Him to deal with the person and the situation. Great freedom comes to those who realize, “He is God and I am not!”

Forgiveness is asking God to free us from the damaging emotions we’ve suffered as a result of someone’s trespass (Romans 5:15–20). This step is a supernatural thing we cannot do ourselves. Only God has the ability to heal hurting emotions. But our cooperation with Him is required.

Forgiveness is putting the damaging event behind us and moving forward (Philippians 3:13) toward what God wants to accomplish in you. He still has an exciting plan for your future.

Dispensing grace (all God’s blessings we don’t deserve and can’t earn) is repeating, over and over if necessary, the act of releasing the hurt (Matthew 18:22) and ending our desire to harm or punish the offending party.

Ongoing bitterness doesn’t help. In fact, if we cling to our bitterness, that is a sin needing repentance. We may think we can hurt the other party so much that they will relent. That’s a pipe dream. Unforgiveness always hurts you more than anyone else. “I’m going to make them sorry!” is a futile pledge. Put them in God’s hands. He can fix everything, even when you can’t.

Healing and mutual respect are often future goals that the Holy Spirit will help you achieve.

WHAT’S THE POINT: Refusing forgiveness perpetuates the cycle of insult and injury between the offenders. Invite God to break the cycle and begin the healing.

PRAYER: Father God, please give me my life back by fostering forgiveness in my heart. Amen!

INTERACT: I need to live by this truth that the Holy Spirit has put before me:

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• One time that I saw forgiveness triumph over animosity was:___________

• Here’s how forgiveness can work, even if the other person won’t own up:_

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DAY 19

“Not Mine to Forgive”

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.                 1 Peter 4:10

The most famous Nazi hunter was the late Simon Wiesenthal. He lost 89 relatives in the Holocaust and spent his life hunting their killers. During his concentration camp imprisonment he was summoned by a badly injured German SS officer, Karl, who was looking for relief from his crushing guilt. He had participated in the burning of a building filled with Jews frantic to escape. None survived.

Now his conscience tormented the dying man. Repeatedly Karl pleaded with Simon to forgive him. Eventually, in stony silence, Wiesenthal stood and left the hospital room. He decided the man was unworthy of even the token forgiveness he could offer for the millions of Jews who died.

John Hamby says, in Dealing with Forgiveness, [5] “Remember, if you’re saved today it’s only because you yourself have been forgiven. You are going to need forgiveness yourself at some time in the future. Remember the terrible cost of refusing to forgive. You will be able to forgive when you begin to look for the hand of God at work in your circumstances.”

Hamby made a wonderful point in his sermon: God can put forgiveness in your heart as no one else can—even you.

There are many excellent resources to help you sort out God’s truth from the devil’s lies about forgiveness. A word of warning: there are tons of books ostensibly about forgiveness that use secular human reasoning instead of solid biblical principles. Many of them will do more harm than good. I recommend The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness, by John MacArthur; FORGIVE: Why Should I and How Can I? by Timothy Keller; and The Gift of Forgiveness by Charles Stanley.

WHAT’S THE POINT: If you’ve benefited from God’s forgiveness, you’re encouraged to forgive even those who don’t deserve it (It’s called grace).

PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I can only imagine the scope of Your forgiveness, after all we have done to You. Thank You, Amen!

INTERACT: I’ve tried to get even with someone by refusing forgiveness. Here’s what I plan to do:

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• What does God think about our refusal to forgive?_________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________

• What things can unforgiveness plant in our lives (example: ulcers)____

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DAY 20

“I Forgive You, Murderer!”

Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.  John 8:35–36

Corrie ten Boom saw the balding, heavyset man in Munich. People were exiting the room where The Hiding Place author had just spoken about forgiveness. She had traveled from Holland to Germany with the message that God forgives.

Then she saw a former Nazi prison guard. It all came back like a tsunami: the shame of walking naked past this man. She saw her sister’s frail form ahead, ribs sharp beneath the brittle skin. “Betsie, how thin you were!”

The sisters were sentenced to Ravensbrück concentration camp for hiding Jews in their Dutch home. Betsie died there! Now that same guard stood in front of Corrie, hand thrust forward. “A fine message,  fräulein! How good to know that, as you said, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!”

He didn’t remember Corrie, of course, but she remembered him. “Since the war,” he added, “I’ve become a Christian. God forgave me for my cruelty. Will you forgive me too?”

Her blood froze; she stood like a fencepost. Her sins had been forgiven, but she couldn’t forgive his. Betsie had died in that place; could he erase her senseless death simply by asking?

It couldn’t have been many seconds that he stood there, hand outstretched, but to Corrie ten Boom, it seemed a lifetime. Coldness squeezed her heart and froze her arm as she wrestled with the most difficult thing she ever had to do. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: forgive those who have injured us.

She knew that forgiveness is not an emotion. Forgiveness is a decision, an act of the will, and the will can function independent of the heart’s temperature.

“Jesus, help me!” ten Boom cried silently. “I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.” Woodenly, mechanically, Corrie thrust her hand into the one stretched out to her. And an incredible thing happened. “A current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm and sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes,” she explained later.

“‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried, ‘with all my heart!’” [6]

Easy? Never. But forgiveness is possible because God both requires it and nurtures its seed into luxuriant growth.

WHAT’S THE POINT: Forgiveness is where life’s rubber meets the road. It’s real!

PRAYER: Dear Jesus, help me accomplish this absurd, irrational forgiveness. Amen!

INTERACT: Why would someone say that forgiveness is not first an emotion, it’s an act of obedience?_______________________________

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• I agree that forgiveness seems ‘irrational.’ Here’s why it makes sense to me:_______________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __

DAY 21

“First Steps to Forgiveness”

 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.                                                                                    Matthew 5:23–24

Once we know what forgiveness is—and is not—we can begin to take the steps to wholeness.

It all begins by admitting your anguish: “Yes, I’m holding onto a hurt that just won’t quit until I let go!” It’s like the first step for alcoholics: admitting there’s a problem. You won’t be freed from bondage to resentment and bitterness until you can admit there’s an issue.

People embroiled in conflict often think, “My tormentor must take the first step, make the first move toward reconciliation. After all, they started it!” But God urges you to submit to His direction: step out in faith and be willing to patiently work through the issues involved. If reconciliation is rejected by your adversary, leave it in God’s hands.

Make a conscious decision: “My hatred toward them is not worth damaging my relationship with God.” Ask God to help you forgive; it takes supernatural help from Him. Nothing less will succeed. Take concrete steps (loving confrontation, verbal forgiveness, resolving the conflict, giving a gift); whatever is needed.

Release the person who hurt you into God’s hands, where He can deal with them fairly, justly and in a way that frees you from the bondage of bruised, bleeding emotions.

Do–it–all–again and again, as many times a day as necessary! Step by step God will help take the aching hurt away! Be patient, persistent and pure. It’s always God’s will that a rift, large or small, should be healed. He cares deeply about your peace of mind and heart. He also cares about your adversary. Being freed from your anger—and freeing the other person—fits perfectly into God’s plan for you both.

See tomorrow’s essay for more steps to good spiritual and emotional health...

WHAT’S THE POINT: The steps to achieving peace of mind and heart begin with acknowledging the need for action and proceeding from there.

PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I so need the reality of peace in my life. Please help me. Amen!

INTERACT: I’m convinced that the devil lies about whether or not I can forgive someone who has hurt me.   ❒ Yes   ❒ No

• The ‘forgiveness’ step I need to work on most is:__________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________

• “God, please help me begin the process of forgiving this person for what they did to me:______________________________________________

DAY 22

“Pow! Owww!”

A group of Jews was traveling from town to town casting out evil spirits. They tried to use the name of the Lord Jesus in their incantation, saying, “I command you in the name of Jesus, whom Paul preaches, to come out!” 14 Seven sons of Sceva, a leading priest...tried it, the evil spirit replied, “I know Jesus, and I know Paul, but who are you?” 16 Then the man with the evil spirit leaped on them, overpowered them, and attacked them with such violence that they fled from the house, naked and battered. Acts 19:13–16 NLT

A young Irishman found success in the boxing ring. He was a dictionary example of “the sweet science,” as boxing was once known. Then one day he heard the Good News of forgiveness through Jesus Christ. It changed his life. He lost his zest for boxing and turned his attention to sharing the Savior with others.

One day he was putting up a Big Top tent before an evangelistic crusade. By this point, his combative flame (and fame) was fading. As he pounded down tent pegs, two local men watched him work, making rude remarks. He simply turned away and kept working.

Next, one of the ruffians took a calculated swing at the unwelcome preacher. His punch mostly missed the mark, thanks to the ex–boxer’s defensive skills. He shook it off and proceeded to tie tent ropes to the pegs.

The other bully was emboldened. His aim, too, was inaccurate, leaving a faint scrape on the evangelist’s chin. As before, God’s man held his temper.

In frustration, both of the brutes sent their fists flying. Fending them off, the pugilist–turned–preacher pulled his jacket off and announced, “The Lord has given me no further instructions about turning the other cheek.” POW! OWWW! [7]

WHAT’S THE POINT: God’s people don’t have to be wimps. And forgiving doesn’t mean you have to let your antagonist beat you bloody, physically, spiritually or emotionally, in the future.

PRAYER: Dear Jesus, help me control my temper. But don’t let me become a weakling either. Amen!

INTERACT: What’s the best way to tame a temper?________________

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• Is “pushover” a synonym of “Christian”? Why or why not?__________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________

[1] from Charles Swindoll, The Tale of the Tardy Oxcart, © 1998, NASHVILLE: Word Publishing, Inc., p. 215

[2] T.D. Jakes on X: "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting on the other person to die. You have to LET IT GO! #WellWithYourSoul" / X (twitter.com)

[3] I’ll Fix Anthony by Judith Viorst, pictures by Arnold Lobel. © 1969, New York: Harper & Row Publishers

[4] YouTube: Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry Be Happy (Official Music Video)

[5] Dealing With Forgiveness Sermon by John Hamby, Genesis 45:1-14 - SermonCentral.com July 3, 2001

[6] This story first appeared (in expanded form) in Guideposts magazine in November, 1972

[7] Recounted in Charles Swindoll’s The Tale of the Tardy Oxcart, from J. Vernon McGee’s commentary on Matthew.