What are some of the challenges you’ve faced being stuck with the same three people?

Ah, well, you know at the beginning of March I had symptoms of Covid 19, and a big challenge of that was that nobody was staying at home at that point and so my roommates had to make the decision, because I couldn’t get a test, we, we weren’t confirmed if I had it or not, so my roommates had to make a decision about whether or not to go to work, and they decided that the ethical thing to do would not to be , the ethical thing to do would be, oh my gosh, that they should not go into work because that would be unethical. And so that was challenging because I felt really guilty for causing that in some way?…and not being able to tell them if I actually had it or not um, and. So that’s that was challenging at the beginning.

Were you able to get a test?

No, because in the time period that I had it, or potentially had it, there were very few tests available and so the City was saving them for people who were in critical condition. And thankfully it was not in critical enough condition to go into the hospital. So no, I was never able to get a test.

Have those symptoms gone away?

Yes, yup, and I mean the more information there is, the more it sounds like I had all of the symptoms for the duration but unless I get a positive antibody test, I won’t know.

Is there anyone else you know that is sick?

Yeah, so in my friend group, there were a few people who I saw in those weeks before who got it, later, and tested positive which is further evidence.

How has that made you feel, having someone close to you have it?

Oh, it’s so stressful and scary. I mean, those first few weeks. I was really really scared and stressed and sad, because I was worried about spreading it at school um I was worried about spreading it to my friends and you know, you never know who is immunocompromised or who has asthma or who might not be able to withstand the symptoms. So that was really scary. Um, luckily, the friends of mine who have it or had it, um, have not had to be hospitalized. I had one friend who was hospitalized but he recovered eventually and did not need life saving care. So, very stressful and scary time.

How did you feel in the weeks before Spring Break?

Well, like I said before, I started showing symptoms a week before we left on Spring Break. And I, one day, when I was feeling much better and I hadn’t had a fever that I knew of, I decided to come back um, into school one morning, I think it was a Monday or Tuesday, but then as soon as I like got into the classroom for first period I all of a sudden felt horrible again and I was like oh no, what should I do? So I went to the nurse um, and they said, “Go home, because there’s just not enough information.” I was like, yes, that’s the safe thing to do. I felt very guilty for a long time about going in that morning afterwards. Even though I still don’t know. Um, but then I was out the rest of that week because we didn’t have enough information and I couldn’t be tested. And then to find out that we weren’t going to come back? It's really hard, it’s still hard for me that I didn’t even get those last moments to try out Zoom with everyone, and say just in case we don’t come back. Like I was already separated from everyone for that week um before we left, so I was feeling really sad because those first fifteen days of my quarantine, the rest of the world wasn’t on quarantine. And you know, the doctor said well you should wait for 14 days until after you show the last symptom. When that day came? All of New York City was, then, had to be on pause, so I couldn’t even go out after that. So this is like...day … hold on… I’m going to tell you exactly how many days … but I have to look at my calendar … Are you getting headaches from looking at screens, because I definitely am…okay… let’s see. I’m on day 72 of quarantine...A long long time. It’s crazy! And I did not think this was going to happen. I mean, I don’t think any of us thought this was going to happen those couple of weeks before Spring Break. Oh, maybe we’ll have to do a couple of classes online, but the rest of the year?

See more of Ms. Misra's interview in the video below:

How do you feel about the government's response to this pandemic?

Um, it, it’s been underwhelming….um, you know, it depends on which government you’re talking about. Ahh, I think New York State has done a really good job, ahh, and… Governor Cuomo seems to be a model for how to respond to situations like this so, ahh, the federal, federal response, ahh, seems to be underwhelming.

Has COVID-19 made your job at Packer harder?

Oh no, it’s, it’s, it’s been harder…um, ahh, it’s hard doing this work, even though it’s all technology based, it’s hard doing this work without easy access to other people. So, so getting decisions made and getting answers from people, just takes longer, which, you know, at a time when we needed to move really really fast, so ah that part was hard, plus, just just the volume of change and the volume of people who need help because so much is is new.

Has this experience made you a better member of the Packer community?

That’s an interesting question too. Um, you know I, I have the privilege of watching… um,… a lot of the faculty and administration at Packer work together, um, and I have a new, a new and deeper appreciation for the expertise and talent and passion for all the people that I work with, ahh because everybody’s had to bring ahh their A game to ahh, to meet this crisis. And so seeing that in action ahh is is a privilege and um really deepens my respect. And helps, helps me understand their perspective and ahh um, the pressures they’re under as well... um, better… so that’s been interesting.

What is the worst thing that has happened to you during this time?

Ya, it’s hearing about ahh friends and acquaintances who’ve either gotten sick or passed away, um you know, it’s, it’s also, you know, people that I know that… who’ve lost loved ones for other reasons, um but then couldn’t, you know they couldn’t have a funeral or… that, that to me is really sad. You know close, close on the heels of all the, the Covid suffering is ahh you know, the loss of… experiences for all sorts of people from graduates to, um, you know, athletes to, you know, everybody… that we’ve collectively lost a whole lot. Um, so all that makes me really sad.

See more of Mr. Anderson’s interview in the video below:

How has all of you being in one place at one time been going, especially with little kids?

With little kids, its um, we stayed in Brooklyn and we are right, we’re on uh the corner of a street and on one block we have the NYU emergency room and on the other block um we have a Cobble Hill nursing home which is one of the hardest hit in New York um so its been strange for my family who’s all over the country with- mostly in Ohio, seeing uh news about the place that’s right right around the corner I, we feel kind of, we we just stay inside as much as we can ‘cause it feels kinda scary to leave um but uh we know there's a lot a lot happening really near us so we really feel for those folks that work at both places that are um patients at both places.

With little kids, have they noticed a change, do they ask certain questions and if so, have you been able to explain to them what is going on? I know that your youngest is really young (2 years old) so I am not sure how much he’ll understand but your daughter (4 years old) might understand a little bit. It is a pretty weird time to be a toddler, I would imagine.

Yeah, the younger one kinda doesn't really understand what's going on but the older one’s like, why am I not going to school? why are the playgrounds chained off? why can't I talk to- she’s very social so not being able to say hi and talk to other kids is disorienting um there was a children's book that came out that talked about the virus. That’s helped. Called Billy the Bad Virus or something like that so we’ve used that um to help her understand what’s going on. Um and now she's it- and and in the beginning, she was like why are people wearing masks and now when we leave shes like where's my mask? I guess it's kind of just disorienting when your kids start to get used to how things are and like think this is normal so um yeah that’s that’s a bit a bit strange for us for sure. It’s also hard to just be inside like these kids are just, they want to, they like being outside and the weathers getting warmer and so um we try to go outside safely but I can tell that after a whole day inside, they just, they just are ready to to go crazy.

Is there anything that you want to say, just about something that we haven’t touched on yet?

I have just noticed how um I I feel further away from students and people if they don't see them face-to-face but there's also been such opportunities for connection and feeling closer with uh students and friends and family members. When I was figuring out stuff with my grandfather's health and we thought we were saying goodbye and we're trying to get one more chance to see him, um I got so many nice notes from students at Packer and it was um it just really meant a lot, its something I'll always remember um so uh yeah I hope that um we can come together as a school community and as a community of uh you know families and friends and and maybe reconnect with people we hadn’t um talked to before ‘cause it is strange to be in terms of distance far away but maybe there are things we can do to feel closer despite that.

See more of Ms. Ross’ interview in the video below:

Is there anything you want to say to the Packer community right off the bat?

Um, that’s a good question, ya know, I just, it makes me, this whole experience has made me, has reminded me, ya know, how valuable the Packer community is, and it’s a good reminder not to take it for granted, because I think, ya know, I’ve been part of it for so long, that, I’m just used to it being like such a warm and welcoming and great place to work and spend my days, and this has reminded me of, ya know, just missing it as much as I do, it reminds me of how lucky I am to have the job that I have, so, yeah.

Have you ever experienced anything like this before?

Um, no, I mean Renata [my wife], ya know, connects it to 9/11 because she was in New York at the time and she was living Downtown, um, so this sense of sort of, isolation and hunkering down and unknown and fear and all that stuff really reminded her of that in the beginning, but I was, ya know, living in North Carolina at the time and was experiencing it over a television so it didn’t, ya know, it doesn’t, I don’t have that same sense memory that she does. So, yeah, I would say nothing in my lifetime compares to this.

During this time, have you ever felt lonely? Even though you are with someone else in your household, have you ever just felt really isolated?

Um...isolated yes, lonely not so much, I mean...ya know, I mean I would love to be able to meet up with friend in real time and go out for dinner or go to a movie or go see a Broadway show or any theater whatsoever, like those are the things, other than swimming that I really miss, so it feels, ya know, isolating not to have that choice any longer. Um, but I can’t say that I’ve felt lonely, ya know, I feel very grateful that, ya know, that I have my wife and that we’re together and, ya know, and I...ya know, I-I think it would be very hard to be, to be living alone right now, especially n-not knowing how long this might continue, ya know, which I think makes, that makes this hard for everyone, but, I just wonder if it would make it that much harder if, if you were really doing this on your own, in your own apartment or house without any other real human interaction or, ya know, physical interaction, that is, so yeah.

See more of Mr. Johnson's interview in the video below:

How has it been teaching, or just being a teacher trying to cover material during this time?

It's definitely nothing what I ever imagined I would ever do as a teacher, um regardless of whatever school I've taught at I, I never envisioned being an online teacher. Um, I really value the face-to-face um interactions uh in class discussions that sort of happen spontaneously, in person, that doesn't happen as organically online on Zoom and so it's a huge adjustment for my own style of teaching and thi- I've been very impressed with students at our school and staying engaged um but it's it's a challenge for sure and uh as far as covering material, ah well you were there with the Science Research Symposium so it was very different but we we managed to pull it off, right? But it's just, it looks very different from from what we normally would like to do and uh in my physics classes I think it's, I feel, I feel the loss most keenly in um certain areas of physics and certain areas of Science Research, right. So in Science Research right, discussions that sort of spontaneously in class either you know when you're sitting next to a classmate or when I'm there and you know I see something on someone's computer and I go over and I check and we have that conversation, right. Um in physics, I feel it most keenly with trying to come up with labs and things that don't always uh require simulations you know trying to get people to get their own data which is which is um in some ways it's easy in physics but in some ways it's hard ‘cause not everyone has all the materials maybe to get um as accurate data as we would like so it's kind of interferes with that a little bit but I feel it most keenly in the discussions and the interactions that just happen all the time and that's how as a teacher I get a feel of how students are uh understanding the material and how they feel about the subject and I feel that's a big piece that's that's missing uh for me as a teacher. Um, but uh like I said I've I’ve been very impressed with the students how they're staying engaged in trying really hard right now to to learn as much as they can in these circumstances.

At Packer, a big part of our education is the community aspect of it and so not having that has been a big change, and so as a teacher, do you find it difficult to get a gauge for how students are doing or trying to support students when you can't be there physically, especially for students who might not be as talkative to begin with, if they’re maybe going back into their shells a little bit more? What has been your experience with that?

Absolutely um yeah all- I- I feel all of that. Um, I feel like there's a, there's like a delay, right, where like a I see- I see a student uh hand and work and I'm able to sort of like you know have that conversation with a student right away usually but because it's like okay I have to submit it and then you know there's like this extra step and then the extra step of say you like okay so now that set up a zoom meeting or you or as a teacher you send something out but I know you students get lots of emails especially now and so might get buried in the shuffle and so then then it doesn't get address to like way later than it would normally like, that sort of thing and um yeah I feel community is a huge part of what makes Packer um you know the educational and also social experience you know uh so important. And uh, you know and I also miss uh the you know the community of teachers and colleagues and friends that I have at Packer so you know uh as a teacher when know something comes up where I said okay well this lesson how could I fix it? this is what happened... and so it's very easy at Packer, right, to just turn to the person sitting next to me in the science office and say, “hey this just happened, what do you think?” and not being you know, I do collaborate still with my colleagues but like like I said before its this delay and its its harder to to make happen. But it still happens. But, not the way we would usually like to have it.

What do you think are some of the biggest takeaways from the failures that have been going on all around us that maybe if this, god forbid, were ever to happen again, that we need to learn from?

I think we need- I think some big takeaways are is that leadership matters, um even in times when things are good when there's no pandemic, there needs to always be a a task force that is vigilant and prepared for these events and we did have these task forces prepared and vigilant until they were disbanded and they should not ever be disbanded. Um, I think there needs to be policies put in place to incentivize people to do the right thing, not to incentivize them to do the wrong thing. So incentives to not raise the prices of masks and PPE, other PPE, to not raise the prices of household goods that people might need to stock up on whether it's canned food or toilet paper, paper towels you know its ridiculous, that should not be- there should be policies in place to to make sure people do the right thing um and if- we you know there’s there's a lot of bigger global issues here, you know, with climate change, the way we eat our food, and the way, the way we treat different groups of people in our society, um you know that's always- we've always known about this but it's really really apparent that um, who are the people that suffer most and then where where does this stem from? is this increased contact with humans and wild animals that should not be happening? and the way that we demand to have our food, it needs to change. I don’t know, I, I I- sometimes it's not very uh easy to be optimistic that these things will change but um I think it's I think those things are very clear at this point.

See more of Ms. Machac’s interview in the video below:

What is one of the best things that has happened to you since the start of COVID-19?

I mean, I suppose the the best thing is just making the best out of a bad situation, right, seeing how ahh even when it’s hard, that the vast majority of people, students and colleagues and family kind of just, you know, spirit of the blitz, kind of, brace and put their best foot forward, like that’s very reassuring, to know that, you know, um, when it comes down to it, everybody’s gonna pitch in and do what they need to do to help the community.

Do you think this experience has made you a better teacher in any way?

Well it certainly, I mean, it certainly put it to the test, right, the part of of my job that I really love…I don’t have, right, that’s gone, and the part that I’m I’m much less fond of, which is ah, sort of the administrivia of it, is is ratcheted up. And so ahh it’s made me appreciate how much I like my job, um, when it’s done the way it’s supposed to be done, um but it’s, you know, I have to say, it’s made me really sit down and reconsider the way I do things and sort of have me focus, refocus on like okay what’s necessary, right, rather than, you know, here’s what I’ve done before, so it’s made me, sort of, move away from the way I’ve done things in the past in a way that I’m sure is very good for me, I just don’t, I don’t like it, because the best part of my job is being in the classroom so, I miss that a lot.

Another faculty member said that they feel like they are the worst teacher they have ever seen. Would you agree with that?

(Laughs) I mean, I was ahh talkin’ to a friend of mine the other day who is also a teacher at a different school, we were talkin’ about how um, it, like we didn’t realize how much of our identity as as people is tied to our job, and so when the nature of that job changed, right, and all of a sudden you know, you don’t get the feedback that you’re doing something right, or that this is going well, or that people understand, it’s it’s really an intense sort of reevaluation of how you, how you are in your professional life, in a way that I had never experienced before.

What would you say to future Packer students and staff about this experience?

[...] As an historian, like, you think back about pandemics in the past, and um, you know, that sort, and even though technology has changed and is so much better, and we can connect in a way we’ve never been able to connect before when we’re, you know, physically, have to be separate from each other, I mean, sort of, the the patterns that exist, right, this is what we talk about in history class all the time, people don’t change, the technology around them changes, but people act the same (laughing), the same way predictably over and over and over again; sort of ahh, my husband’s a history teacher too so we have a good time talking about how like….well, it’s a lot like the Spanish flu, right, so it’s um sort of interesting to work through that combination of— this is new, but it’s not new, and how is it different and why is that better and why is that harder?

What would you say to people in the future who may be experiencing a lockdown or a global pandemic?

Um, that there’s always a way to get through it. That the only way to get through it is if you work collectively, that there’s no one individual or one magic entity or group that can handle it on their own. Um, and that just sort of reinforces to me the need that everybody needs to work collectively, as much as possible, all of the time to get through things like this because it won’t work in any other way. I mean the only other thing that I would ahh want to point out is, you know, it’s really refocused, and it always does this, and so I assume in the future if it happens the the you’ll, same thing will happen, but…the people that are really important, um, are the the people who, you know, are the workers, right, are the people who man the grocery shops, and work in the hospitals, right, and, and the, probably the people who don’t get paid, paid the most, and so I, I appreciate the fact that society is starting to refocus on that again, and in a way that they haven’t in a long time.

As someone who is part Native-American, how do you feel about the Native-American experience with COVID-19?

You know, it’s, ahh, Doctors Without Borders for the first time has had to work within the United States when they went to the Dine, the Navajo Nation. Um, I think it just highlights the fact that um, there is a tremendous discrepancy in the quality of life in a lot of places where indigenous peoples live. My father is a physician, he is an indigenous physician, and he ahh, this is a really interesting sort of take on the federal government; he and a lot of other indigenous physicians are in a sort of a national organization, and they ahh were asked to ahh sort of provide guidelines for indigenous ahh medicine, but the guidelines that they were, like they, the parameters that they were given were so weird, like they were ahh, they were told not to mention the name of the disease and they were told not to, not to talk about this, like they couldn’t talk about the disease, but they had to give parameters, and they couldn’t say COVID-19 and all of these strange….there were certain drugs they weren’t allowed to mention, and certain procedures they weren’t allowed to talk about, um and so he said they just spent the whole first part of a meeting, sort of, just complaining and trying to figure out, like, what they were gonna do with these crazy parameters, that basically was like, how are, how should we handle this without mentioning what IT is? So, I mean, I think that’s a really great example of the government knows that it should do something to help, but is so concerned with maintaining the status quo, as far as indigenous populations are concerned, that they ahh, they’re not putting ahh putting indigenous health care in a place where it can be ahh successful. I mean if you’ve got, you know, communities of people who don’t have access to water, I don’t know how you’re, you know, how you would even begin to combat something like this where cleanliness is definitely such a large factor in its preventive.

What would you say to families who may be unemployed or who may be struggling to make ends meet?

Um, this is gonna be political…so, but I think that this is a time where like we really need to reevaluate um the way our society is organized. Right, when it comes to medical care being tied to employment, when it comes to like child care and, you know, protection of children being tied to school, right, rather than a permanent social structure in place, a social safety net for them. I think that people who are unemployed have absolutely every right um and should and, and I will do this with them, like fight in any way that they can to change the system because um I don’t think there could be any sort of brighter highlight on how flawed it is, than what’s happening right now. So, I mean, I am not in a place to give them any suggestions because I am lucky enough to still be employed, but what I want to say and what I feel for them, is that, you know, I am behind them in, you know, whatever kind of change that they want to make, because I believe in my heart it needs to happen.

See more of Dr. Livingston’s interview in the video below:

Have you developed any new routines or rituals in quarantine?

Um [chuckle] you know my family has always really enjoyed our time together. Um but we have established a routine that, um every Friday night is family game night. [pause] And instead of that happening occasionally it’s like every Friday night is family game night. And [pause] uh every Saturday [pause] or Sunday, one of those two nights, we’ll do a family [pause] TV watching time together. And so whether or not we’re watching a TV show or a movie there will be something some type of media which we engage in all together. Um [pause] so those like those things have been [pause] become very routine. And every Saturday morning we cook pancakes together, like these [chuckle] little things, and as I said before like with the uh that we’re actually eating three meals a day together [pause] is is lovely just as a time to be together and connect and my oldest daughter was saying today as we were, the four of us, walking to the park to get a little fresh air, she’s like I hope CoronaVirus ends just for the summer, but then when school starts again I hope that we have to stay at home because I really like being together. So I see that they have such a [pause] sheltered view of what’s happening in the world right now, and frankly at the ages of seven and nine, I’m okay with that.

What do you think the new normal will look like?

I guess [pause], that’s so hard to answer at this moment. It’s like right like I have commented to friends and family recently that I’m amazed how [pause] normal things feel right now. [pause] We’re used to putting on our masks when we go outside, and we’re used to when we see somebody else on the sidewalk, to move to the side or step out into the street to give space, and to [pause] um [pause] like that, and like the learning at home, and and giving each other space to learn at home, and work at home, like that has become very normal. Like we know what our routine is. I don’t like that our new normal doesn’t involve [pause] being together as much as it is, so I hope that [pause] that once we can get past CoronaVirus that we are [pause] more [pause] together as a community. I I miss seeing friends, I miss seeing students. [pause] Um [pause] and I imagine that [pause] we will [pause] have to do it at first in smaller numbers, and [pause] so a ha- a quarter of the student body or something at school or maybe a half and that we’ll slowly work up to being, back to what we were before CoronaVirus. But I think that we all will be a little bit wiser [pause] um, a and I hope I should hope that we’ll all be a little bit wiser moving forward and not make [pause] um, some of the same mistakes that perhaps we won’t have as many people always working you know shoulder to should in offices, or on the subway shoulder to should and that we can have a little more space to breath and exist and [pause] without having to [pause] I don’t know smell the what somebody ate for lunch on their breath because you can’t get more then [pause] two feet away from them on the subway.

Do you think you experienced personal growth during this time?

Um [pause] I would like to think so. Um I I don’t know what I would poi- put my finger on right now as to exactly what the where it is I have grown. Um [pause] maybe once I step back from this a little bit further, wait sorry hold on Anika and Klara, um if I I I think maybe in a few months when I can step back and reflect on this time than I’ll understand better where the growth has been. [pause] Um, I think that we certainly have come together as a family really uh nicely and maybe that’s part of the growth. [pause] Um [pause] and seeing how we don’t always have to be face to face to have [pause] progress in teaching or science or business or whatever it maybe. Um [pause] but that those are all growth things so [pause] I I I have to take a pause on [pause] my personal growth what it is, I’ll reflect on that further.

See more of Ms. Schmitz’s interview in the video below:

How have you been feeling during this time of uncertainty?

Um, ah I would say like I have a um [pause] mixed feelings. It depends on the days. [pause] Uh, it depends on the [pause] if it is in the morning or in the afternoon. If I had spend a lot of time in front of the computer or not, if I have gone out, it depends, yeah.

How has COVID 19 worked with or not worked with your personality?

I would say [pause], I don’t know which percentage [pause] but [pause] I would say [pause] big part of my personality [pause] umm helps. I don’t have any problem um staying out-inside [pause] for long periods of time. [pause] And sometimes I I love thinking that before without the distance obligation, a lot of time I was at home some weekends I didn’t go out and I was totally fine [pause] soo [pause] I know how to entertain myself being inside and [pause] um being isolated, um not talking to a lot of people, not seeing a lot of people kida I’m used to that. The other part of me, I don’t know which percentage, um of course I I need the natural light and I need to do some type of exercise, walking [pause] especially walking, and sometimes seeing my friends face to face [pause]. So yeah I it’s difficult but I think [pause] less difficult when I’m talking to other people who are really really freaking out because they are always out and they are very, like they have to do something outside all the time. So for me kinda of like it’s okay I can survive, I don’t know for how long, but yeah.

What advice would you give to a teacher in the future if they had to go through online schooling?

I would say [pause] um if it’s for the first time oh la la, um keep your mind open that’s number one. Uhh [pause] in this particular situation variety [pause] is even more i-in need. Because being in front of the computer doing the same things everyday [pause] even in in in classrooms it’s boring and it’s not effective and it’s not you don’t motivate enough the students by doing the same type of thing everyday. So try to have many many things you don’t have use them all the time, but once in a while changing it’s it’s interesting for them. [pause] The other thing is like um [pause] plan [pause] to start less is more. Cause [pause] we are so used to the rigor and I was mentioning that in one of the meeting we have, that I hope [pause] I c- I I I like to think this is a huge uh we finally as teachers understand that rigor doesn’t mean more assignments or longer assignments, it’s all about [pause] the effectiveness and and the quality of what you want to achieve, [pause] uh what you want the students to learn. So think about planning less and more, like variety in-instead of like long to kind of like clean the time because it’s it’s difficult for the students, it’s hard for us too to be in front of the computer for so long. Um and a lot of, the collaboration piece uh talk to your colleagues and and find out what they’re doing, uh don’t stay with your own idea sometimes you hear and oh that’s an amazing I want to try this and I want to try that. And for languages in particular, there are so many tools you can use online, games, eh [pause] um different things that can support your your teaching and learning that yeah that’s better.

See more of Ms. Hernandez’s interview in the video below:

How has your experience been quarantining alone?

Umm it was tough at first, it was, you know, well I think in the beginning, just the idea I think for me personally I didn’t know what this was going to be, um when we found out our schedules, you know I found out my day maybe didn’t have to start at 6am anymore, you know maybe it would start at like 8am or 9am, and was really you know like okay, you know we always say ah, I would love to work from home, I would love to not have to wake up in the morning and take the train, and now, I would give anything to go back, [...]so in the beginning, you know, it was a bit of a happy point like okay, maybe this could work, and then it was like no, this is not going to work. And then personally I live across the street from a hospital um I wasn’t necessarily able to get out of the city, you know, like so many people in our community have I know, but there are a lot of us who haven’t, and the same thing with my families, some, my students families some of them have been able to get out, some of them haven’t. Um, but living across the street from the hospital you see a lot. And so, like a week into this they parked one of those freezer morgue trucks outside the window, like literally right outside the window; I had to um close my shades for awhile a week or so um until they built a fence. But in that time, in that like almost 2 weeks that I was literally exposed to visually seeing what no civilian is really supposed to see, you know these are the things that people on the front line, um you know, are seeing everyday, but we don’t really see it but watching, you know, body after body after body be brought out it really started to get to me. Um, but you know I really had to take some time, and you know cry when I needed to cry, and feel overwhelmed when I needed to feel overwhelmed, and just sort of let those emotions come, and I think that that is is what sort of helped. And at one point, I remember at one point I was like I don’t know how I could be, how I am going to do this, like how I am going to see all this going outside my window, turn on my computer for a half an hour a day and smile and sing for these for these families like I don’t know if I could keep this up um , and luckily, um thank you like God, cause they build a wall, they built like a eight foot wall so I am not seeing as much as I was, um but the trucks are still out there… at night you can hear the humming um and literally I’m seeing people drive up in their cars, pick up the bodies of their loved ones, put ‘em in the trunk of the cars, and drive away. Um, so visually it’s been challenging, it’s been challenging, like on a personal level. Um, I have a daughter in college, and she’s in Cali, but she’s doing fine, and so, you know, as long as she’s good, then I feel like, okay, I I can deal, I can get through this, um I’ll do what I need to do. Luckily, I have an amazing support system who I can call um if, I am feeling, you know, overwhelmed, or, you know, whatever

What have you been doing to keep your spirits high?

I’ve been crocheting up a storm. Crocheting and knitting, um, up a storm. I’m like up to my third hat, um, cause I love hats since I I keep my my locks in my hat. Um I’ve been doing a lot of yoga, I’ve been cooking, and I really did not sort of cook before this, like once my daughter went off to college, it was like, what is a stove? So, you know, now it sort of forced me back into doing certain things that I wouldn’t normally do a lot of the day …. Um, and I also play the guitar, so, just for myself, you know, not just for work, but singing and doing stuff like that, but trying to keep my spirits up, trying to still be um connected and involved, and you know, again, being in the city, it’s a little bit challenging cause, even going out for a walk is… a whole nother ball game….but, you know, there are members in our communities that they’re not necessarily in the city, and maybe they’re in the country, or have land, and, you know, they’re still able to… go for a bike ride…or, you know, do certain things that, sort of, some of us are not able to do. So I think as my role in the diversity and equity piece of it is really sort of creating awareness of how people are experiencing this. And, and gratitude, being grateful for sort of what we do have. And, you know, that’s something that I’ve had to counsel on, you know, when, you know, stuff comes up, or complaints, or you know, it’s like look, some somebody has it worse, somebody is dealing with more, somebody is more sad, more anxious, more, you know, grieving…somebody is grieving….someone has lost a loved one. Like, and I think about all the things I have to be grateful for, so, you know, the stuff that is out of my control… it makes it a little bit better. And, I think that if we take away anything from this, it has to be that, that gratitude for what we have, for our resources, for our family, our community, our support system that checks in on us, people that want to see our faces, our students, um, yeah, so that has sort of gotten me through… that’s what will be gettin’ me through, you know, yeah.

See more of Ms. Arthur’s interview in the video below:

Has anything changed in terms of your employment at Packer, including your pay?

No, not my pay yet but my hours have been changed quite a bit because we’re working on, for the safety of the, of the, of the staff we are like um, staggering our shifts so I work one week then I’ll be off for two to three weeks and another crew, so that way the building is always occupied by someone from the facilities department. But, I’m not working as much as I had been, you know, it’s, for the most I’ve ever been off in my life. I’ve been working since I’m like seventeen year old, I’ve never, [laugh] you know, not worked, so it’s a whole new thing to me, I mean, all I do is work on my house and stuff, because I don’t know what to do with myself, you know.

What do you do at Packer when you go into the building?

Well, it begins with um, obviously, a check of all the bathrooms and the kitchen just to make sure there’s no damage or any leaks and such, ya know, pretty much a lot of preventive maintenance, because uh, if the building is not occupied, you’ll be surprised at how things go wrong when people don’t use them? I, I, it seems weird but, you know, like a lot of plumbing fixtures and um, like the boilers and such, they really need to be used regularly in order to be, work at their optimal performances. So, I go in, I run everything, ya know, and test the water levels, and stuff like that, so its , it’s a lot of work but it’s good because there’s nobody in my way. You know, so, unlike, ya know, you know how it is to get through the student center on some days, so I just shhheeewww, (Laugh)… so it’s a little bit easier but it’s a lot of work, you know.

How has your view of family, friendship, and community changed because of COVID-19?

Well, it, like um, on Saturday, um, part of my son’s school there’s a Dad’s club at the school and, we had a car parade for all the Seniors that were graduating this year. And just seeing the people smile and we, you know it was called a Lemonade Parade, cuz there’s a very popular thing at the football games, the dads make this lemonade and all the students love it so the motto of the parade, you know was “When Life Give You Lemons, Make Lemonade” so we delivered lemonade to all the graduates houses and we brought the school mascot with us, and there was like 10 to 15 cars with music playing. And just seeing the people smile and come out of their houses to applaud it, it’s really a beautiful thing, you know. It, like I said, it’s the reflection I think people are going though, and they’re learning that maybe you don’t always have to be in a rush. Maybe we’re just working ourselves too hard, you know, it’s it’s tough to explain. It’s almost happening by itself, I don’t think people are really conscious of it, of what’s happening.

What was your initial reaction when you found out that school would be closed until April and then until the rest of the year?

Well, I gotta be honest. I thought that the April initial thing was very optimistic because I’ve been following this through Europe and you know, reading the papers and I thought May 15th might have a chance but I was thinking more in the July like … I’m on the, my town’s Little League Board and I walked into Zoom meeting that we had on April, and I said “We have to cancel the season” and everybody was like, “You’re crazy!” I said, “We’re gonna end up canceling the season, I’m telling ya! Ya know, ya know.” And … I was right, cuz we just sent out the email yesterday morning that the season’s been canceled. There was just too little time to get that many games in and it’s a shame because so many of the kids in town look forward to it and it’s another thing that they won’t get to experience this year.

Would you say you have ever experienced anything like this before?

No, I, I’m, even just working at Packer, I worked at Packer on the day of 9/11, I watched the towers go down from the roof of Packer. I remember Hurricane Sandy trying to get to work, and there were was no lights in the, in the distance, just,… it’s … so much different because you can’t see it, if that makes sense, it’s almost like a ghost, it’s like a ghost that I’m afraid of this ghost and everybody is afraid of the same ghost.

See more of Mr. Kennedy’s interview in the video below:

How have you been feeling during this time?

Um, I think mostly I feel overwhelmed. Uhhh, my [pause] I have been teaching for over 20 years, but um teaching online is a really different experience and it feels like going back to being a first year teacher when I really didn’t know anything. Uummm, and I was starting from ground zero, and creating all my lessons from the start umm and thinking through, you know, how to go about scaffolding student learning all the time. Umm [pause], and I still do that, you know, in my classroom normally, but certainly not to the extent that I have to do it now. And uhh, soo so that has felt very overwhelming. Um and, you know I think because I am not actually a first year teacher I know when like a lesson is not great [Chuckle, laughter]. Right when you are in the beginning and it’s your first year teacher you don’t even really know when things are not that great. Um, so I find that really hard ahhh, it’s kind of frustrating to um, as a professional. So my work as a teacher has felt sort of overwhelming in that way. Umm, and I guess you know uhh everything else is kind of overwhelming too. It’s like I don’t even know where to put my focus. [Laugh] Umm so that that that would be the um my biggest um descriptor for how I feel right now.

What’s a moment that you felt really happy in quarantine?

Ummm [pause], last weekend my parents, and my sister and her husband, and my wife and I had a zoom meeting which I was dreading because I do all these zoom meetings all day long and I was like do we really do I really want to do that on my weekend. Uhh, but we played charades which is something we did all the time when we were growing up. My father is notoriously terrible at charades, so it’s hilarious. Like we play mostly just to see him make a fool of himself in a like the most hilarious way. Uhh and sooo, I’d been having a tough week so my sister was like the the thing to do is to play charades with the family. And I was like okay let’s do this, and it was absolutely hilarious. I haven't laughed that hard in, I don’t know how long. Uhh, so it was totally worth it. And, I mean just the hilarity of everyone getting on to the zoom meeting was already, you know, worth it. And uhh, it was just really nice to see them. Because I hadn’t seen them you know like visually seen them, in I don’t months. Um, and so my parents were initially skeptical of this idea, and then afterwards they kept sending use emails and text messages saying how fun it was. Uh so, I think we will be doing that again. So, that was nice.

Another faculty member said that all teachers feel like they themselves are the worst teacher they have ever seen, would you agree?

[Laughter] Um, yeah. Uh I think that teachers are very critical, we’re very critical of ourselves. Um, I and I uh I mean the literally seeing [air quotes] myself is terrible. Like ah uh I mean, I you know I I [pause]. We don’t walk around all the time looking at ourselves. Like I don’t know what I look like when I’m well, now I do know what I look like when I’m teaching, it’s horrifying. [Laughter] No wonder everyone is laughing. I mean [Chuckle], I thought I was funny, I’m just funny looking. Uhhh you know it’s uhhh [pause] but but yeah. I mean there is this sort of I think ummmm the teacher mindset is one of con of uh the very much growth mindset so there is this like continuous effort to improve. And so, in order to want to uh improve all the time you also have to think you suck all the time kind of. [Chuckle]. So yeah.

See more of Dr. Lurain’s interview in the video below:

As everyone has different personalities, do you think that COVID-19 works for your personality? Do you think that working from home works for you or do you find it difficult?

[Head shaking] No. Um, [pause] so [pause] it it’s funny over spring break I actually took ah volunteer job at the supermarket that I shop at um to shop for for people in need and to deliver groceries for people in need and I work from 3 o’clock to 8 o’clock 4 days a week. Um [pause] because I needed to get out [laugh] I I I just ne I knew being locked up I I would be [pause] crazy and you know I have too much energy. I’m like a uh I have the energy of a young puppy and soo you know instead of just running up and down my new apartment [laugh] I figured oh maybe I could get outside and yeah do something else. Um [pause] so that’s [pause] I’m not not necessarily the person who can survive and thrive being locked up [laughter].

You talked a little bit about sports teams, have you missed them as a source of entertainment?

Oh yeah definitely [laugh]. Um you know I a uh I’m a big baseball guy and I just I miss baseball. I and I also have my [pause] um [pause] I run my own travel baseball organization and I have a bunch of 11 10 and 11-year-olds that are not playing baseball right now and I cannot wait to see them again and hang out with them and go to tournaments an and you know let them play and stuff. But [pause] obviously I want to be smart with it, and so you know but no I I miss it so much [laugh].

What does your typical day look like during quarantine?

Yeah so it’s [pause] been different as uh when we first started to where we are now umm. When we first started it was [pause] okay how long are we going to be in this, um you know trying to figure out what we were going to do for the new student orientation. And whether or not that was going to be remote or on campus. Umm and and things like that. I think as this developed we’ve [pause] my role from admissions has shifted from admissions more towards financial aid because this is uh hit a lot of families, unfortunately. And you know I’m fielding emails and calls daily from multiple families about the aid that they might need emergency aid and and the impact that this has taken, so you know really my [pause] role now is more trying to help out the Packer community the best I can.

See more of Mr. Morton’s interview in the video below:

I know that you had COVID-19, would you mind telling me what that experience was like for you?

Yeah... It’s um… It really affect your breathing and, I was weak, you know? And then um, I feel like I wasn’t breathing air, like, could not even walk, or anything like that. So then, uh, when we got to the urgent care, they took the x-ray of my lungs, but told me that it was in my lungs. Like, I was not prepared, like, I said to you, I got it from my sister because my sister, she has the allergies. Very bad allergies, sometimes got to go to the hospital cause it starts to get hard breathing, and they give her oxygen. Then I was taking care of her allergies, was like taking care of her, and it was at the time that I was, rubbing her chest with vaps, like, trying to make her feel better. But then after a while, like, um, I begin to find that I was not breathing good, and I start feeling weak. So then that’s when I had to go to the hospital. When I go to urgent care they told me I have to go to emergency room, so when I get there, emergency room, they, they put me up there right away. And I was there and they find out that is was really Covid and they say that, you got the Covid and you got to stay overnight. Overnight, I end up staying five or six days in the hospital because, uh, yeah… I was a treatment, they treat the Covid.

When you went to the hospital the first time, did they test you immediately, or did it take a while?

No- no, they test me over again. They test me again and they did another xray of my lungs. So they had to treat it, they had antibiotics and medication, like, you know, my lungs… yeah. And I was on the oxygen, the whole time in the hospital they had to use the oxygen, because my breathing, and then they said my heart was beating, it beat up, my heart was too fast, so they were checking on that. And then my oxygen levels was down, so that’s why they had, I had the oxygen, you know, I could breath better. It is something, was something that I wish no one would get it, not, not good.

What was it like when you were told that you had COVID-19?

I could not believe it, I could not believe that I had it because, I didn’t expect, that you know, that I would get it cause my sister when she felt sick, she said to me that, my goodness, I start feeling different, things are sounding like what we see on the TV. And it sounded like she was sick because she sneezed and coughed, she was coughing about, she would get it, like in her face. And that was the only way that I knew that I got that, because um.. I didn’t, I didn’t expect, because I was protecting myself all the time that, covering my mouth, washing my hands, and I did not know that right here my sister had it. You know you have to be careful even with your family. I was just thinking that it was allergies, yeah. It’s the protection that you have to do because it is not the same, because, you know, because you always see them coughing and because I thought it was this, thought it was allergies. It was… So I was like, oh my goodness, I never had any problem with breathing, I never had any problem… So then I say I have to go, and it’s good I did, because I could have been really bad, because they say it was in my lungs and that was making me feel bad. I would, would not, em… Breathe, I was not breathing or anything. So I went to the hospital they monitor my breathing and my chest. I breathing like wheezing and I start feeling weak. When I walk I was weak and that was when, only like because I was weak.

See more of Ann's interview in the video below:

Who are you quarantining with and how has that been going?

So I am quarantined with my husband and my cat um and it's going okay like we have um, I’m set up in my bedroom, in our bedroom, which is you know, you can’t really tell its my bedroom, but it is, um it's like a very small space so it feels a little bit like I’ve been trapped in this little room for quite some time um my husband works for an architecture firm so he’s out in the living room with his like multiple monitors set up um to sort of uh work in that regard um and yeah I mean its been going okay, you know when we got this apartment I wasn’t thinking like, oh, this is the bedroom I’m going to be working in, you know, for months on end so like I was like I just need to sleep in here it doesnt need to be that big um but um I'm loving going to spend time with him and my cat like he usually work like 10 or 11 hour days a lot of the time um and so while its like its nice having him here sort of like see him even though like he’s always on calls and like very busy it's nice like being in proximity, I would say as opposed to hi, being at the office for 10 hours and then like not seeing him as often. Um and my cat is just bringing me so much joy um so she’s she’s at first she was very much like why are you two here all the time like this is like my time but now she's very much to come around and like hangs out with us and will come and like sit on my lap, sit on his lap, so I think we’re doing okay. We’re doing okay.

How have you been coping with, as you described, all of the voids you have been feeling?

It- its so funny because you know like, as a health teacher I feel like people would expect like you know I've been meditating five times a day and like journaling and like taking long walks um but like it’s like honestly what I've been doing is I’ve been playing a lot of Fortnight, um I’ve been watching a lot of Curb Your Enthusiasm and I've been baking. So I've been baking bread and cookies and like banana bread and sourdough and it's something I've never done before that I never really liked the exactitude of baking like I like cooking where it’s like throw everything in the pot and like you can add these seasonings and spices and vegetables and it all comes together beautifully, but like there’s an exact science with baking and I always like resisted it um but I don’t know, I’ve come to appreciate the precision and certainty of it, maybe that’s why I like it. We have so much uncertainty in the world, it’s nice to be like no, you need this much flour and this much sugar and this much butter or you need to feed your sourdough starter this often um so I’ve been doing baking and then puzzles here and there. Um, I have not been reading. I’m like a pretty avid reader but on quarantine, or in quarantine rather, I’ve found like I just have like a mental block when it comes to like read- like I’ve read one book in the past 8 weeks which is like not like me um and I’m trying to like let go of that you know when quarantine first started I feel like there was this pressure to be like “we have all this time, it's the time to like do everything you’ve always wanted to do like learn that skill, crochet that sweater, like perfect that Beethoven sonata, like read that novel, write that novel,” and I think that, I don’t know, I- I don’t think that that makes sense for a lot of people. Like I feel less motivated and productive now than I did outside of this space so like, yeah, sometimes the more mindless things like playing Fortnite like watching television have been things like helping me cope or like going for a walk, as simple as it sounds. They’ll be days when I’ll have been like “oh, I haven’t been outside in like 48 hours” [laughs] and I’ll be like forcing myself to just go outside. [laughs]

How have you been doing mentally or emotionally with all of the uncertainty and also in terms of the government’s response?

I think that there has been some fault on behalf of our government in response to this. Um it's hard, I mean you know I- the biggest thing that was hanging over for me is that for the past 10 years I've liked helped run like a collaborative building and design camp for kids up in New Hampshire um which has been a really great rest bit and like a source of like inspiration and creativity and restoration for me, um and we actually just decided today to not open this summer, um and that sort of been like hanging over. Like we started been planning still for the past couple of months um so that was a big uh uncertainty for me um and that feels a little bit like knowing that it's not happening is like sad and it's like mournful because its been like a huge part of my life for a decade um but I'm also like I'm like looking for like silver lining, it means that like I have my summer free ‘cause I feel like this is going to be a lot to like recover from just this like and past few months and my parents are out in Rhode Island and my brother’s out there and he just got a house and lives there with his girlfriend and his new dog and so like I’m just like I’m gonna go to Rhode Island for five or six weeks and like spend time with my family and my parents and my husband's going to come out for a week or two um so that small modicum of certainty has been helpful helpful um, helpful in the past like 2 hours since I knew that I was going to have a free summer um but even like thinking about the fall you know remote teaching is a challenge and it's you know I don't think any educator got into this field to like be staring at a screen and like doing this type of learning like I've appreciated the challenge of how to sort of engage kids through material in ways that are like a compelling um but I also think like so much about, and especially for being like a health teacher, so much about like good health classes about building like a community of learners and a space for like people can like feel safe and I feel like this like similar like other discussion-based classes and it was like a huge rupture in that and you know it's like it just it just doesn't feel the same and so the prospect of like next fall this potentially continuing is like a little daunting. Um, but also like you know I don’t wanna say exciting but it sort of like you know a challenge, like how am I going to you know if we're starting the year like this how would it how we going to like engaged our students in a way that like is supporting them getting the content that we feel they need um so yeah a lot of uncertainty and like like I said before it's it's like motivation just goes like up and down you know um so I guess we'll see.

See more of Mr. Hawkins' interview in the video below:

How have you been feeling about all of this uncertainty?

Uh, you know it’s interesting. I’m gonna share something with you that may know. Um, last year the Melman household had some real concerns, my wife had cancer, and so uh it feels like my baseline has been anxiety or stress for forever. Um, in some regards I think its prepared us for the the problems of the moment and in other times it feel to be compounded and my knees feel like they’re buckled under the stresses, it depends on the day. I know that I’m loved and that I know that my family is loved but, you know, there are additional elements that are uh very very sad to me uh in the in the, you’ve asked me to interview me so I am going to be as honest as I can. Um, my father is um suffering from some of the latter stages of Alzheimers uh and I was supposed to fly out there in April to see him and then I was supposed to fly out in June and all that is uh, so some of the hardened realities is that I’ll always know my father but the next time I see him I won’t necessarily be registered as his son, you know what I mean? Like he, and so like all of this stuff is incredibly emotional on a personal level but on a global pandemic level it’s just the the extent to which there is the stress and the anxiety has been uh profound you know? And, as a teacher you know I am also sort of a a dime source psychologist for a lot of my students and to see some of the grief and the frustrations and concerns and anxiety hat they’re wearing as well, I internalize them. Um, you know, it it’s a lot, you know, which is why the moments of grace and appreciation are also incredibly important to take a breath and understand how fortunate I really am.

Do you feel that you have gone to a deeper level with students during this time in a way that you haven’t previously?

You know it’s hard um there’s an interpersonal empathy that I can feel like while I am not living their lives, and I don’t have their lived experiences, we are all sharing a unifying moment, right? And it’s not across the table, is a unifying moment. In our own respective ways, we are all negotiating this to varying degrees but we are also negotiating new context and what I mean for this is when you’re three and you stub your toe, that’s a new pain, right, and when you’re four and you bump your elbow, that’s maybe a different kind of pan but you’ve got the context for what that pain stubbed to was so you have some degree of pain. And as you get older, you you crew more and more context for circumstances so you have new experiences but you have some degree of catalog element for which you can identify from the past, does that make sense? Do you know? Heartache and love and all that sort of thing but this, this is so new for all of us, right? We don’t have a contact, I mean unless you’re what 102 years old then the Spanish flu, I mean like this is it, right, and so we are all trying to negotiate this together and sometimes kids will ask me for degrees of wisdom or empathy and I don’t necessarily have it but I am going to try to be me but like the time that we do have together is a balance of calibration. Right, like we have a half-hour, 2-3 times a week um and there’s also an obligation to try to get through some material um and some kids uh I you know the hardest thing for me is to see the kids that are walling themselves off. And, it’s obvious and we’re trying to do everything we can as as a caring faculty but to watch the retreat, the turtle shelling, that for me is, because when you’re at Packer, you can grab a kid by the elbow and say listen, you got 5 minutes? And you go sit down and even if they don’t wanna talk to you, there’s that moment of contact and um you know like one of the the the things that struck me as we read Beale Street um Ive got my copy here, um on page 4, you know, he says “I hope that nobody has ever had to look at anybody they love through glass.” right, and that line always struck me but more from a racial and social point of view but also from an emotional point of view, like I, fortunately, god bless, have never been unjustly incarcerated I’ve never had anybody that I love be incarcerated, so I’m not gonna own that experience, you feel me, but the notion of the distance of uh that we are now obliged to love each other through glass is not the same thing. It is just not the same thing. And and some people can argue that its a deeper uh love in that regard and and perhaps we're learning new ways to love but it’s not the same, you know? The- thi- somebody sent or the nuances or the the touch, I mean like, and were loving each other through glass and and that is um hard, you know? So...

(Question is N/A)

I mean I think that we can, I don’t think this is false optimism, this is not forever, this is for now, but the uncertainty that I think we may all be feeling is, alright, so if not forever then when? You know, like when? And you know its problematic in dealing with, its shows some of the schism in terms of politics in the nation as well and um and uh what seems to be gross uh illogic uhm but you know, the only thing that I would you know recommend of you and I have done this is that like, rather than being the turtle, um I don’t know, be the giraffe, you know, um when you need to, reach out, as opposed to retreat. I’ve got friends I got friends in my own life adults who are retreating and who have become uh immune to text and Zoom requests and phone calls and they're just hunkering down psychologically and while I certainly would never judge a person for the way in which they negotiate these sorta things I would much rather be emotionally expressive and and in cuz I think that right now the tendency might be hunkered down and I'm noticing that in a lot of my friend groups you know like early on you know, we were Zooming and texting and like, have you noticed of that sort of like faded a little bit like, yeah, um but I'm gonna to remain um like determined um you know uh and keep doing it until, hh. There are days when, you know I pull a turtle as well, but can I show you something? Lemme show you this. The other day, I was running and I saw this little guy on the road, can you see that? A fifty-cent piece, maybe a quarter-sized little turtle. And I was thinking, how much fun would it be if I brought this little guy home, and I immediately put her back in the water because the last thing, I would want to do, you know maybe what I’ll do is I will send you a photo of the turtle. And, and the rationale and the metaphor that I saw this as cute as it is so cute and I thought my boys back home are gonna love this little dude, they’ll be able to feed him and pet him, but I put him back safely in the water because I couldn’t, I couldn’t reconcile imprisoning anything in a time in which we all feel so imprisoned. It’s just the metaphor of taking this thing and and denying it the freedom that I think so many of us feel right now and again I'm not comparing myself to i- any- true incarceration, I’m I'm talking about like an existential sense of being bound, um anyway this little turtle and the caption I gave it was “shelter-in-place” but I misspelled shelter with 2 L's. He he ah ha ha ha ha aha ahahha. Anyway so that little turtle you know was cute, but it was time to go home.

See more of Dr. Melman’s interview in the video below:

Thank you for sending in some of the pictures you took during this pandemic. Can you talk a bit about the pictures [seen above] and why you took them?

Yeah, I, ya know, I had been intentional about trying to get out at least every other day to get some exercise, and usually I’m going into, to the park, I like to go look at the flowers, I like to go see how spring has, ya know, just evolved since the last time I’ve been to the park. Um, the day I took those pictures, I decided to walk in an opposite direction. I really hadn’t, I hadn’t spent, spent much time actually in my neighborhood. And it wasn’t quite clear to me, what stores were open, what was life like actually out in the neighborhood, so I, I took those pictures on a walk, ya know, where I might walk down, just to, to go to the pharmacy, or go to the supermarket, or go to the restaurants that I used to like to go to, and see, well what’s going on there. And what I discovered was that, there were more places open, that, than I thought, and they were open in a particular way, they were open and closed at the same time. So they were closed to foot traffic, but open for, um, ya know, takeout and delivery, so that the, their whole business model has, has shifted. To see the, the employees at Starbucks setting out a table, where their masked, and taking orders on the street! I mean like that’s just wild! Right, and then, like, those little, little moments when you walk down the street and somebody has bothered to put up a sign-“stay positive”-like there are these little punctuations everywhere. Like if you’re, if you really look for them, ya know, there’s a lot a crappy stuff that’s happening and, ya know, people that don’t always, haha ya know, do the best thing, and their not always acting out of a place of love and kindness. But, there’s a lot of people who are, and they’re, they’re doing these little things, they’re doing what they can do. And you see, I saw that, in the ways in which the different stores had, had someone, ya know, put, paint new signs that were positive, or, or put up new LCD signs, ya know, that, that had these supportive messages, like “we’re in this together,” “we’re here for you,” ya know, and it was just, it was just New Yorkers at their best sometimes. Ya know, which is really lovely, so it was, I didn’t see flowers, but I saw, um, these lowly moments of life, the neighborhood trying to come back to life.

Has COVID-19 altered the way you think about friendship, family, and community?

Well, I mean, I think, you know, any crisis is an opportunity for us to reflect on the people that we rely on the most, and that we care about the most, because, ya know, we’re facing something that is really deadly and frightening, and, um, I think, more broady, um, w-we need each other, we need our networks of friendship, and even when, ya know, strangers come together, I’ve met people through Zoom media, or the-the medium of Zoom, where, ya know, it’s just, people are coming together because we need to be together, and we need to provide support to one another, so, friendship, family, um, even opening yourself up to new relationships, and new interactions, is really important during a crisis. So yeah, family, ya know, we-we depend on one another, we love one another, support one another, that’s that’s where your primary support is going to be. And when you see, ya know, how, structures, larger structures, larger institutions, a-are not always, wh-whe-, they cannot always fill fulfill their responsibilities or our expectations of them, and its family and friends that we look to to help us get through.

See more of Ms. Johnston’s interview in the video below:

Has COVID-19 altered the way you think about friendship, family, and community?

I mean there’s that old cliche about like not knowing what you had until you don’t have it anymore, like it’s definitely true with respect to like...family, friendship, like...I don’t know when I’m gonna be able to see my brothers or parents, like, again, like I don’t have a timeline for that, and that doesn’t feel good, even, like, when we would go months without seeing each other, atleast, I’d knew I could if I wanted to, and now that I can, it’s like oh like, that doesn’t feel good. Um…..I don’t know, I guess as like an introvert and a homebody, like, I think I’m gonna appreciate having the opportunity t-when I am able to like go out more and spend time, like, out...doing things with people. Like, I think I’m gonna appreciate those a bit more. Um..I mean in terms of like my teaching practices, and just like, interactions with other people, I feel like, just putting people’s well- like keeping people’s well being at the forefront, like, I feel like this has really emphasized that for me. Like, um...like before you engage with people on a level of like, academics or whatever, business, or any sort of like, transaction or interaction you have with people, like, we’re all, like, vulnerable, like, human beings who can, like, ya know, we’re mortal, we get sick, like, we’re vulnerable, like, um...I don’t know, I’m hop- I hope I’ll take, like, just more empathy for other people and for myself away from this.

How has this experience made you a better teacher?

...Yeah, I’d say it- it’s helped me put things in perspective. Like, as I go through the process of like, deciding, like, what’s in- most important for us to, like, do together, um, in terms of like the math. Ya know, it’s a shorter list than I would want, there’s lots of things that I would like to do math wise that’s not essential, um…...like...in terms of like how I’m designing, I feel like, I feel proud of myself for really putting people’s well being first, um, and...not wanting to add to the stress. Like...and I feel like when I, whatever the next iteration of school looks like, I think I will bring more flexibility, um, and grace to like my design, my policies, my course design, like everything. Um, and continue to make more space for like wellness checks, especially like, so- like, social ‘n’ emotional wellness checks. Um, like, there’s a real, I mean like, like I’ve seen the articles about like the mental health crisis that’s like...you know part of this, like another effect of like this pandemic. And um, [inaudible] I think people feel like alone, disconnected, hurt. I think, I mean these are common things for people anyway but like just remembering, like it doesn't take a pandemic tuh want to make sure people are doing okay.

What would you say to future Packer students and faculty about this experience?

I’d say to this, I’m hoping this is how people look back on this, like, at least from a school perspective, like that this is a situation that caused us to really challenge some assumptions we had about how school should work, and to kind of set aside some like antiquated like, or like anachronistic practices that don’t work anymore in the twenty-first century or that are like outdated ya know like early- like twentieth century models of schooling. Um, so I’m hoping that like we took a fresh look at like...like grading and curriculum design, and like what we communicate about what we value in schools and what’s important to us, and that we like shift it more towards like a student centered like design of schooling, and that it’s really forced us to like take a hard look.

See more of Mr. James’ interview in the video below:

Why did you decide to change your lockdown location from New York City to Omaha Nebraska?

Um, because between my own job and homeschooling and my husband working it was getting really difficult for us to manage our own stress around that. Anddd the biggest priority for me at this time is protecting the mental health of my children as we get through this thing and I thought that they would be less stressed with more loving adults and more space to play.

What role should the government, both federal and city, should play in treating the impact of the disease? Economically, medically, socially, laws, etc.?

Well [sight], my personal opinion is that the government should uhh especially our government has the resources to bring the very best scientists to give us the most accurate possible. And that the government should follow scientific guidelines. And that should be the recommendation and that they should model good behavior. Um, in terms of economics [pause] I think it would be great I think they had to give out stimulus checks because of the way our system is developed, but I think that if there was some form of universal health care and if there were more social services in place and safety nets then this would not be such a scramble to keep people afloat. Um, so I hope that some of that policy changes.

How do you think the pandemic will impact your generation and your children’s generation?

So I think for my generation it forced a lot of people to become more familiar with technology. Umm [pause] and um I think that you know [pause] it’s done a lot for the arts that I think that a lot of musicians and actors and artist who have put out beautiful content to help people like just find joy in the small things that um a lot of people in my generation will now understand more sort of the allure of technology that uh teenagers have. And then for my kids generation [pause] you know it will be different for them than for you because they are so much younger. I think my five year old will have some memories of this but not too many. I think my 8 year old will think of it as kind of um, hopefully, a fun adventure where we played outside a lot and we played a ton of board games and we drove 20 hours across the country. You know I think for him his narrative will be more that this was like something we concurred as a family. Umm [pause] and I’m hoping that for the teenagers that go through this that this is a defining moment in your life of understanding what you’re made of. You know that sometimes these things happen and we have it in us tuh persist and get through it and come out stronger on the other side.

See more of Ms. Londay’s interview in the video below:

What has been the best or most surprising thing about being in quarantine?

Um… I guess it would be that even for the most vocal community members, who sometimes feel frustrated by the lack of empathy from their peers, or um, you know, thinking about like, oh that teacher is always out to hound me for work, or whatever it is, um, that people, students, um, you know, staff members, uh, administrators, teachers, um, parents, missing the school. I think that why, um, in some ways it’s taken for granted all of the ways in which we benefit from being a part of the Packer community and being connected to one another and being able to feel a sense of community and, I think, um, it’s, it, it is surprising to hear, or, or, to even kind of, um, you know, watch as people are typing in the chat, or whatever it is, oh my gosh I miss seeing you, or you know, um, you know, who knew that I would uh, you know, uh, you know, loving being in the classroom, you know, as much as it feels overwhelming at times, there is really something magical about that. I think it’s giving us, um, a reminder that you know, of all the things that are really beautiful about being a part of the Packer community, the things that we sometimes feel challenged by, um, it’s still, it still gives us something in the day to day. um, it allows us to kind of stretch and grow in ways that are more challenging to do when working from a digital platform.

Do you think COVID-19 will change the way that the younger generation moves forward both in relation to government policies and communities in general. Do you think that it will change and affect the way that we live?

Um… I think all of us will be changed by, by this pandemic, um, what that change will look like, I’m not sure, um... I do believe that for, um, young people in your generation this will be memorable, and um, I don’t know, I hope that we can hold on of the realisations, um, some of the pain, um, I think some of the ways in which we have had to, like support one another and extend, um, you know… Uh, uh, a calming voice [makes a telephone with her hand and gestures with it], or, you know, a phone call to, you know, grandparents, or whatever it is, um, I, my hope is for, for your generation holds on to that and, um, and, and, and use it to help shape how you, um, care for other community members, um, or think about, like, you know, health care for all is real. Um, and think about our hospitals right now are, um, are, are losing money because they can’t perform, like, surgeries, um, it’s a crazy reality, right? I think, um, I don’t know, like, that’s like… I don’t know. Just, I, I think thinking about, like, what it means to support small business, and, and thinking about policies, or the ways in which we, um, clarify language so that, you know, big businesses aren’t taking from Mom and Pop shops, uh, you know, here in Brooklyn, or elsewhere, um… I do hope that, that these are an element of, um, this time that, um, maybe you all will hold on to and, and work hard to preserve, um, or see the value in, um, speaking up for and advocating for those.

Is there anything that you want to say to people who might be watching this years from now, who may not have experienced or remember experiencing this virus?

Sure, um… You know, I guess I would just say that there have been ways in which we have had, uh, deliberate conversation about what it means, um, to have different stories, um, different ways of living and experiencing, um, life on a daily basis. And though this pandemic has been the thing that, um, has amplified some of the, uh, um, you know, uh, some of those differences, um, whether it be around mental health or around, um, you know, uh, racial profiling, um, uh, you know, physical abuse, um, uh, educational, uh, uh, um, access, whatever it is, um... I think that there are ways in which being a member of the Packer community has, um, has kind of created a bubble around some of those things, and at this point in our lives, we’ve had to acknowledge that although it can feel like that there is a bubble around our community, there are ways in which, um, those realities that I just named can, um, can puncture that bubble for some of our community members. And, um, and, and, and those spaces where there has been conversation around, like, how have you managed this time, um, have been really valuable, and I think eye-opening for lots of reasons, and, um… I guess, I’ve said this before during this recording, but, um, you know, I think it’s really important that we not take for granted, um, the range of experiences that exist in our community and um, that value of, um, reaching out to one another and just being supportive, and I think empathetic and caring, um, it’s something that I think is such a beautiful quality about, uh, the Packer community, um, but it’s not without work, and I hope that we can continue to work towards that, kind of, uh, school culture. And hopefully without a pandemic, um, impacting us [said with a hint of laughter]. There, there is value to it, and I think that it is something that we all benefit from.

See more of Ms. Smith-Williams’ interview in the video below:

Have you come up with creative ways to stay in touch with others?

Um [pause] because most my all my family have to stay there, back in China, so everyday especially my mom, she cares so much about what happen uh in US. I don’t watch the news anymore, but she watch uh everyday and she just tell me how many cases in here in US. So I I and then talk uh over the phone over the um uh social media. I think that the social media is the only way that uh we can get in touch with families and also sometimes I talk with my colleagues. Hm, so [pause] so that’s a thing.

What advice would you give to someone if they had to go into a lockdown?

Uh, I think just um have a good like a [pause] just a like a peaceful like mind. Don’t worry too much, because at the beginning I did the same thing. Everyday watching the news and count how many cases. Nowadays I just drop it, ju-just a live your life for the best, and then don’t think about the worst what will happen. And try to think about other people, be considerate, don’t if there is social distance try to do that so.

Have you read anything new during this lockdown?

Oh just, oh yeah because uh at the beginning I’m so bad uh with everydays news, so I watch the news 24 hours, and then I got so tired I said uh okay I’m not going to do anything like that I’m start uh reading. So now I pick up book to read because I did I’m I didn’t grow up in US I never read uh Harry Potter, so my kids suggest you should read books. So I started to read uh Har-Harry Potter and I’m almost uh done soo I think it’s uh good time. I can read books [laugh]

See more of Dr. Ma’s interview in the video below:

What do you think the new normal will look like in your neighborhood, at Packer, and in New York?

Well, this is funny. I live right near Packer, um, and I think the longer we’re in the quarantine, like, the idea of normal in the beginning was like, go back to exactly how things were before, and then now that the longer we’re in this, I think what I’m willing to accept as normal has changed because I want to get out [says with a chuckle]. As we were walking this weekend, and, um, seeing people with mask and keeping distance, um, but we did a few more, like, errands and things that my husband and I would have done before, and I came back saying, you know, if this- I could get used to that. If this is the new normal for a while then that means that we have to wear masks and have to be careful, I’m ready to accept that in order to, um, to move forward, um… And to, and to, to get out of this moment of extreme isolation. [...] And then it’s that part where we’re off thinking, you know you would read books about how things were, like, I don’t know, two-hundred years ago, or a hundred years ago, when there wasn’t self-service like you had to go into a store and say what you wanted, and someone would go from a shelf and get it for you, and when I did the shopping on Saturday, it was a bit like that. Like, you have to call ahead and the butcher where I went to, um, Wisk, which is like a cooking store on Atlantic Avenue, and you would just knock on the door and tell the person what you needed; Oh I broke my measuring cup, I need a glass measuring cup. And she would go and get it and then bring it back to the door, so that way that we shop, um, maybe very different for a while. It’s- and just not realizing how much I took for granted, because I know it’s easy if I just want to go, you know, shopping and go to the butcher, the pharmacy, and I would just go and this takes a lot more planning and time.

How are you interacting with the Packer community during this time?

So, a lot of Zoom, uh [laughs]. I miss the Packer community! Um, so I, I’ve spent most of my day on Zoom, so, but they’re in like meetings with Administration or, um, there are a lot of parents, students, or whatever. Um, so it’s… so most of my job is about, um, either solving problems or bringing people together to make things happen, and then there’s a part that’s about thinking about where we want to go and thinking about how to get there. Um, and so the way that, um, I get my job done is through people, need to spend time with people, um, and then communicate with people. So everything that had been oral before now becomes email, so that takes a lot of time [laughs]. But the longer we stay, the less people who want to read email, so then it’s figuring out, you know, new ways to communicate. Um… so, uh, then, in order to feel connected, what I love to do is to watch, um, like, I’ll look at the Instagram or any videos that come out, just to see the faces, um, of everybody still in the community. [...] Aw, I love [the Student Center Instagram]. I love the birthdays, and it’s fun, the uh, the uh, the, the baby pictures! There were some that were obvious and some that were so hard to figure out [says with a laugh]. Like, there’s no way that that’s that person!

See more of Ms. Nunes’ interview in the below:

Is there anything you want to say right off the bat?

[...] Gloria Katz, whose my friend whose um, died last Friday from the virus. And It was just on the day, that you Sadie, um invited me to do this. So, I might have said no, but I thought if anyone sees this ever in the future, I’d like someone to hear her name, Gloria Katz and to know that that wonderful woman, ah, lived a life and was fabulous.

If you are comfortable with it, can you talk more about how her death made you feel?

Well, well… um, yes. By the time she died, there had been so many stages of deterioration, that it was neither a surprise nor even in some ways a, a blow, because it was for the best at the end but how it made me feel was huge disappointment that um, her loved ones could not be with her. And it really, it it really awakened me to a sense of how important those rituals are that we’re often so so busy for, too busy for. And when you think of visiting someone or a family member after the death of someone, its often during a busy school week or whatever, and it’s hard and you do it and you go but, I, I, never will take that for granted again because that, that, those rituals are so comforting and important to mark a passing.

Another faculty member said that they feel all teachers right now feel like they themselves are the worst teacher they have ever seen. What do you think of this statement?

Well, you know. I think as teachers we judge ourselves harshly. For whatever mountains you climb, there’s always more to do and a better way of doing it and there isn’t a year or a lesson in a way, that I wouldn’t do over differently but that’s part of it. And that’s what I would say to them. This is all part of it. It could not have been any other way. Plus I know for a fact from watching my colleagues, that they’re doing wonderful work. Everyone’s hard on themselves now. It’s part of things.

How has COVID-19 altered the way you think about family, friendship, and community?

Well, … um… you know, I um, I, I think I got so caught up in a busy New York life, that I forgot sometimes how important that was, or certainly not, if I didn’t forget, I took it for granted. And now I see it as everything. And not only that, I see connection with the people who count to you at work, good people in your life, as the only important thing. Everything else, everything else, fades away.

See more of Ms. Schwartzburg's interview in the video below:

When did you first hear about COVID-19?

Um, I think I it probably was January I heard about it when um it was [pause] primarily in China at that point. I was listening to podcasts about what it was like to be in Wuhan and reading articles about it and I was following it but it felt really far away. Um, and then [pause] I heard about it moving into Italy and I still thought oh okay it’s really far away and I think probably [pause] maybe late February early March I had a real sense that it was something that was going to impact us here. And [pause] at that point my husband, who had also been following it, was like we need to get some supplies, and we need to be ready to be in the house for a long period of time. And at that [pause] moment I thought he was maybe overreacting, but he is a planner by nature so [pause] um [pause] I said fine, we did it we bought some groceries and we [pause] got some hand sanitizer and I had no idea what was about to happen.

Do you think that the relationships in your family have changed during lockdown?

Yes [pause] for the better actually. Um [pause] I always lamented the fact that I didn’t have that much time as I wanted with my kids. And I always felt that we were working against this like incredible pace of life that we were trying to maintain and we were always trying to stay one step ahead. And [pause] this has obviously forced everybody to stop, and um I feel like my kids are thriving, strangely enough, they are so happy to be with us all the time, and um even my husband and I we were joking like we’ve been together since we were 18 and there have been periods in our relationship where we lived on opposite coasts and we’ve spent actually a lot of time apart and obviously we’ve lived in the same place for a long time now, but we’ve never spent this much time with each other in a very long time. And I think it’s been good for all of us. We’ve all [pause] enjoyed that part of it.

What does an average day of social distancing look like?

Um soo I run [pause] almost every morning, but I do it really early. Uh where we are it’s not very busy, it’s not very crowded um it’s pretty rural, but there still are people out in the afternoons on nice days, so I try to go at like 6:15 so that I can avoid all people, and I always see one lady and we have our respective sides of the street and we always give each other a big wave, and I keep imagining that [pause] someday when we are all released from our homes, or I make the decision to leave my home, I’m gonna go out and meet her, and hangout with her, and chat with her. Um so I do that, I come back usually my husband is getting the kids up, we have breakfast, they play for a little while I zoom with my advises, and [chuckle] um my husband and I kind of trade on and off all day who’s like taking a Zoom call and who’s watching the kids, both my kids have Zoom classes at 10. Um, which is kind of good that they do them at the same time. Uh Zoom is not that effective for teaching 3 year olds, so that requires bribery with snacks for him to sit. Um we actually weren’t getting on those calls, but then we got called out by the teacher, so [pause] we’re doing them now. Umm [pause] my daughter has figured out how to stop the video on her call so she just usually sits there and rolls her eyes at everyone in her class [laugh]. Um we all have lunch together [pause] everyday, and then my son takes a nap in the afternoon and that’s the only time my husband and I can do work at the same time. [pause] Um and usually give the kids dinner and eat after they [pause] are done. Put them to bed, and then we sit on the front porch for a while [pause] watch nature [laughter]. Then I I usually read for a while, then start it again the next day.

See more of Ms. Whitehouse’s interview in the video below:

Have you faced any racism because of the Coronavirus?

I personally have not, and hopefully I won’t. But, as you can see that on the news or social media there are a lot of racism towards, you know, the Chinese or Asian descent, um, during this time. And, yeah, but I myself have not faced any of those experiences.

How do you feel about this racism towards the Chinese?

Um, I feel sad, but at the same time, I feel even today at Packer, you know, Middle School, we had this conversation about racism based on the recent incident among African American community, but I feel one thing if I have the power or the ability, is hoping that Packer can bring the racial conversation more in the broadened way, because even during these 3 months you can see there are a lot of racism is not just towards one specific group, but we have not really bring that on in a very consistent way. And I feel that is something that we definitely should improve as a community because, you know, there, you you see there is [inaudible], shooting, but we didn’t talk about it, we didn’t get into our community say, let’s gather together because this is an important part. We had an incident of American President called this virus as a Chinese virus, but we didn’t get on the call and say, this is important, let’s talk about that. Um, so, for me this is one thing that I’m really hoping Packer community in the future can really give it a thought, why we do what we do, and how we are doing it. Yeah.

How do you think the government has been handling this pandemic?

I mean my personal opinion, I think is they are handling very poorly, (laughs), so you know, um, because I feel like right now, it’s, it’s, the country is so divided, um, and it’s not just divided by political views, it’s also divided by race, divided by religion, it’s it’s, you know, it’s very, and ask any international person that was not born in America, as you can, you know, um, for me just is really hard to see because this is not the American that I came to, you know, um, and I, and seeing all those divides, divisions that makes people that is not really working together, but is sort of working against each other makes it very sad to see, yeah.

Has being in quarantine changed the way you view family, friendship, and community?

Nooo, but I do think, you know, because we now, if I see you right now, I cannot even give you a hug, right, sooo, and, I think those are the little things that we often overlook in life, and I think it’s nice, to, and we all know this right, when you have it, you don’t really cherish it; when you don’t have it, you want it. So, and and and the grass is always greener on the other side, we, we grew up with those terms, and we always often been told about this, but I think this time is we’re really living the experience of what does that mean? So I think those little things, that makes me, um, think about my family more, and I, I, and, you know, and and find a way to connect with them, or my friends in the city, you know so, or, even my students, it’s the same thing, right, if I see my students, as you know, I love to give my students a hug, and now, if I do see them I cannot do that, so um, those are the little things, I think, it, it, it helps to remind us, all of us, like those little things counts, so yeah.

What would you say to people in the future who may be experiencing a lockdown for whatever reason?

Um, be thankful. I think be thankful is the one thing I really want to tell the future people that when you are in a lock down time, space, I think it’s, because actually we have a place to be locked down, you know, I mean, when you really look at Syria right now, right, it’s a war zone, it’s a war zone, and people cannot even get locked down. You constantly run after one bombing after another one. So when people are saying, yes, I am really tired of being in one space with my family, or, I am getting a little antsy, you know, not being able to go outside as freely as possible; I think, think about the people who actually cannot do that. You know, and, and that kind of thoughts, it’s the same thing as what I said earlier about empathy, you know, when we think about ourself I think it’s really hard to, it becomes selfish, you know, and, and it becomes very self thinking, and just like turn around with, like in a carousel over and over, and so if I can tell the future people that who will experience these things I think, really be thankful that because we can do it. So yeah.

See more of Ms. Huang’s interview in the video below:

Has your relationship with your family changed at all during this time?

Yeah, I mean, my mom um had been visiting me before this happened and had planned to return to Brazil over spring break, which is where her house is, and I had planned a spring break trip, and then all those trips got cancelled, and since she is very high risk, she, um, needed to stay inside, so she’s been with me this whole time, and we’ve been inside the apartment for 60 days together. Um, and while I’ve spent a lot of time with my mom and we’re very close like even she said I don’t think she has ever spent this much time alone with just me, even when I was like a little child, you know, there were other people there, um so we’ve never really spent like 60 days straight without seeing anyone else totally confined, and then add to that that this is a one bedroom apartment, .um, you know, it’s not like, it’s fine, but there’s not a ton of space, so I kind of have, she set up her life in the bedroom, and I’ve set up my life in the living room, and I think, like, we’re definitely um closer because of this I think, we luckily we haven’t really had a lot of arguments or anything like a few things just kind of roommate type things about, you know, clean this, or organize that, but I think mostly it’s been really good, and we like play cards at night, and cook together um and take care of each other, and I think that that’s actually really nice. Um, my brother lives in Chelsea, so he’s dropped off things for us a few times like medicine or other things that we couldn’t get at the grocery store. Um, and that’s always an odd experience. He’s come by three times I think now, and he’ll leave it at the door and then knock, and then stand at the other side of the hallway, and he has like a mask and gloves on and we’ll open the door and just like wave at each other so that we can see each other. And, um that’s different because my brother and I are also very close and we’re used to seeing each all the time and talking everyday, and now, you know, we still talk everyday, but, like I really miss him. Yesterday, we talked on the phone and we were both crying because we just really miss each other. Um, like to give you an idea of how close we are, we’ve been close like all our lives, um we always had our own bedrooms luckily growing up, um but we would, he would just stay with me in my room, um he would sleep there, so that we could talk at night and like, you know, not stay alone. So you know usually siblings are like dying for their own space or whatever, and we were always super, sorry, I feel like I’ve just talked for so long. But yeah, I would say, I would say, it’s changed in that I feel a lot closer to my family.

Can you describe a time when you felt scared?

I was really scared the first two weeks of this, um, because, that was when, I, I think we, so Packer closed on that Friday before spring break, and, that Friday I still went outside, and I like went to the grocery store and went to the pharmacy and like was still stock, stocking up, and like had, my mom and I had decided that she would stay here and we would just stay together through this, not knowing how long this was gonna last. But, I was scared for her because I didn’t now at that point if I hadn’t carried something into the apartment, um, or that she hadn’t gotten it somehow ‘cause she had also been going outside up until that point. So, for those two weeks I as extremely anxious. Um, that was when I moved into the living room and, like I, luckily for whatever reason I had so much, so many Lysol cans and so many um, paper towels and like Clorox wipes, just, I don’t really know why, but I just had a lot of those anyway. Um, and so every time that I used the bathroom I would wipe everything down, um, she and I weren’t in contact, I stayed away from her, like I didn’t touch her, she stayed in the bedroom, I stayed in the living room. Um, she would use the kitchen mostly and then if I needed to use it, I would also wipe everything down. Like I didn’t touch anything she touched. I didn’t even, you know, like not even toothpaste or, like it was just constant cleaning and like paranoia, um for like, two weeks until I felt like okay, now I’m clear and then, you know, hadn’t carried anything in. So I think that that was really scary because she wouldn’t survive this. She has an autoimmune disease and chronic kidney failure, and even the common cold is um, is threatening to her, and she sometimes has to go to the hospital for that to, to get help, um, and, medication, so, this would be really really rough and I think the thought of, you know, obviously anything can happen at anytime, but the thought of, the state of, um, medical facilities right now being such that she would have to be alone and isolated, and I wouldn’t even be able to be with her, I think that was a really scary thought to me. Um, and that I would feel really guilty if it had been me carrying it home and bringing it to her, which was why I haven’t stepped outside at all, you know, ‘cause I was like, just one wrong move, one like, I touched the elevator button and forget and scratch my eye, like, that’s all it takes, I mean you just don’t know. So I think I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t want to, uh, I’ve been scared of that happening, I wouldn’t want to live with that.

See more of Ms. Dzegar's interview in the video below: