Narcissism

The Dynamics of Narcissistic Spiritual Abuse

This article is a distillation of observations drawn from our experience of abuse combined with wisdom from other victims and professionals that have been there and seen it all before us.

The New Testament Pharisees, berated by Jesus for their hypocrisy, were the spiritual abusers of their day. There are excellent studies in print about their methods and are mentioned in our links page. However, it was the story of an Old Testament character, well known for his narcissism, that has yielded an astoundingly accurate account of the dynamics of spiritual abuse in the Church … or secular organisations and governments, alike.

It took quite a long time to start seeing our ex-pastor in a very different light, having over the years, made excuses to ourselves for the inconsistencies, the ’odd’ things, the lack of lasting fruit, the disappearance of established members, with no reason given. Yet he seemed to have such wisdom and a genuine passion for God, an anointed pastoral gift helping families from very disadvantaged backgrounds with a plethora of problems, absolutely adored by his closest members and held in high esteem by the local community. A jovial, huggable father figure. How could he possibly be capable of abuse? Was there just a dysfunctional mental perception connected with his dyslexia? Or something else? How much was driven sub-consciously by hidden vulnerabilities? How much of it was that he was genuinely deceived? How much was deliberate? Was he just the puppet of the Foe? For how much should he take full responsibility if he’s not in his right mind?

Yet we are told “not to judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgement (assessment)” (Jn 7:24) and Paul said in I Tim 5:24 “some men’s sins are obvious from the outset, others become evident later.” ( my paraphrase). Also, “Judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. (I Cor 4:5)