A life-changing experience
Something happened during my time at university. Having a social conscience, amongst other things, I demonstrated outside the South African embassy in London with my banner against apartheid, and spoke at Hyde Park Corner for the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (Incidentally, my field of study was Nuclear Power). There were also things in the Student Union of ‘City, University of London’ I felt needed to change. So, as mentioned earlier, I stood for and was elected as student body president. In a union meeting, a motion I wanted passed was discussed. The voting was close, but went against the ‘important’ change that I felt was needed. So, being chair of the meeting, I was able to surreptitiously alter the voting figures. The motion was passed. Yet, in true student style, I was critical of politicians for being dishonest and corrupt.
I met someone who was a volunteer with MRA, which I had never heard of previously. He knew nothing of this vote fiddling. One thing he said to me was that if I was really serious about bringing change to the issues that concerned me in the world, I should have a good look at my own life actions and see if I was walking the talk. I didn’t have to think too deeply to be aware of the mismatch.
At the next Union Meeting I told the students what I’d done with the voting, apologised, and reversed the decision. My knees were shaking and there was plenty of booing and hissing. But, I wasn’t thrown out, as I had been prepared to be. For me that act of honesty was a costly step, and was like driving in a stake for future conduct. It was about being true to what deep in my heart I felt to be right.
As a militant atheist, this sense of integrity emerged not from a religious belief, but from a vision for a better world. Another consequence was that I felt an inner liberation.
One reflection since then was that as students we loved to highlight the misdemeanours of others – challenging each other’s thinking. But when I took that step in honesty, it was not just about thinking, it also challenged our/their living.
