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May 13, 2026 Wednesday
I am so much in love with the new book I am reading-- Designing your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, motivating me think about Design Thinking and its application in life stories. I am also very motivated to apply and teach about Design Thinking principles to the students, it would be very helpful to get that course!
May 11, 2026, Monday
Nobody tells you about the goodbyes of the PhD. You always think about pragmatic and individual things as what if you will get a job, if your papers will be accepted, how much money you left in your account. But, you never think of emotional challenges waiting for you in the end of your journey.
You had to say goodbye to your everyday friends, and they end up going to the countries you have to fly and pay a big chunk to be able to see them again. As everything in life, it is absolutely awful and absolutely amazing. From one perspective, you end up having houses and a bit of a family across the world, but from the other side, maintaining these relationships start to take a bigger toll on you. But, I prefer to stay optimistic on this. I have never imagined having close friends from all these countries, now I have a big family spreaded around the world, not so bad.
I mean, if you love people it always hurts a little; to lose them. It is worth the pain anyway!
April 27, 2026 Monday
Now that I am back to work after not thinking about it for a couple of days, I feel refreshed, and I can think more clearly. I feel enthusiastic about creating a dissertation, a tiny bit of information added to the vastness of knowledge.
I feel proud, and motivated that I am combining different things, different perspectives. Every dissertation is a unique baby, and I love mine. I embrace the road, what these 4 years brought to me. Ups and downs, and finally seeing the bigger picture at the end. So many next steps I can see ahead, a rich life with new ideas, people, new challenges in life. Battles we take, we embrace, and conquer, and sometimes fail and learn. I am very excited about my new questions, new challenges, new moments of happiness. What a great world academia is! (Crazy to say maybe). Still, I am very happy that I am free on my own world and I will be surfing new ideas and will keep meeting new people!
April 26, 2026
Tiny bit of city life and getting my mom integrated in my life in USA, for the first time... Definetly momentous experiences are waiting for us.
April 22, 2026
Is narrative identity also build from poems? As Sukru Erbas says:
“yaşadığım dünyayı anlamak istedim. insan ruhunun derinlerini bilmek istedim. gerçek kötüydü, acıydı, düzeltmek istedim. insan özgür değildi, yazarak gölgeden ışığa çıkaracağımı düşündüm. kendi varlığımın anlamını kendim oluşturmak istedim. elimden sadece yazmak geliyordu. yazmanın en billurlaşmış dalı olan şiiri seçtim. çünkü yazmaya başlamadan önce okuduğum şiirlerin büyüsüne hayran kalmıştım. ben yazarsam nasıl olur diye merak ettim. bu merak uzun sürdü.”
April 21, 2026
Everything that is good takes a lot of time, I cannot believe how many different iterations I have even for an IRB. Allah bu millete bir IRB data amend ettirmesin amin (Turkish joke inserted here).
Boarded in the writing train. Thoughts from Crumble, April 20, 2026
Everytime I start writing, I feel empowered. I know I got breaks between my writing sessions. Sometimes writing results, or discussion does not feel that powerful but when I am writing my arguments, I feel like I have a voice worth listening.
Also, writing brings more writing. In days I escaped from writing, I was not also a regular in my blog. I perceive them too similar. But now that I am trying to write my introduction, I want to write forever, about anything...
Spring is here!
Time flies so fast. (April 18, 2026)
Wow, it has been so long since I wrote here. It is one of the things no one tells you, but the last year goes so fast in the PhD. You always have dissertation, teaching(maybe), job application, presentations, friends leaving soon so last hangouts...
I feel like it has been crazy fast for me as well. In the routine days of my life, I started two new hobbies to help me stay happy in my life while writing my dissertation.
I started playing video games, and playing ukulele. I think it really helped to make me in the flow state, and also be okay with slow progress --especially gaming-- So I cannot believe I started playing games at the age of 28 for the first time, but here we are. Always learning.
Meanwhile, I started my dissertation as putting my papers together and my introduction from my quals into one document.
Then, I have been dealing with analysis for a super long time, now it kind of stopped and I am able to write. Thanks to Erik, I tried to write everything when it comes to my mind --so i realized i have (almost) discussion for my first study, and my second study. I still need to add to my introduction and my study 3. I also spend extremely long time in compiling my last study (starting IRB forms, decising on the experimental design and the materials). I think I have been working on the materials since January, and finalized them on March, now finally got approved on April (second week). I posted in student system, and I know we still need to make changes, we can still improve it. It is a classic of research, there is always room for improvement.
I got good news for my future, after graduation. I have been motivated and celebrated good news with my friends. I feel lucky to be able to do research, what a good life. I also secured summer funding, which was such a great relief for me.
Additionally, one self-discovery was about the working productively. These days I start my day around 7:30, get up have breakfast around 8:30, and start working at 9-10; I love these slow mornings. Also, when I feel like I cannot cross things in my list, I do use pomodoro, and just set some time to write, and complete that time. It makes me feel happier and productive. Otherwise, at some point I was feeling like nothing is getting done, but dissertation takes a lot of iterations and edits, so actually there is no checklist to complete. This timing strategy works pretty well for me. I want to share it with you, and my future self, struggling and coming back here!
This week, I submitted an article with my previous advisor, and I started data collection for another. I am writing to confirm (to myself) I am still doing great, and working. I hope to finish writing the discussion of my other project, so let's hope so!
I planned everything for the next 6 months...
February 2 - February 8
Meetings, discussions about potential future, sending applications to some extra places, checking graduation requirements., working back on previous studies.
February 9 - February 15
Now, I am trying to get back to my writing habit, which was challenging for me as I postponed writing for a while for my blog. But still I am doing my best, and getting back to it. It is totally okay. I really like doing it for myself and one day I want to come back here and read my reflections or my daily life. I know in the last couple of months, it has been different that I almost only listed the happenings, but I do not think it is helpful. Neither Pennebaker and Marsh, nor did I would agree. Thus, I will share my thoughts and reflections more.
Small win: I am getting better at enjoying my free times, I am proud of myself!
I am also cooking for myself everyday (yummy vegetables) and I exercise regularly again. So, that's pretty good for a good life!
Cold Bloomington -20s for a week.
January 5 - January 11
I submitted my proposal defense.
January 12 - January 18
Start of the semester
January 19- January 25
IU championship at 19th, my proposal defense celebration at 23rd.
January 26 - February 1
send some paper abstracts, prepared teaching materials, got exteremly sick on last Friday, working on reflection paper...
I am now part of a dissertation writing group, it is the most efficient thing in my life... I would highly recommend it to anyone.
Izmir's supposedly cold weather (of course not...)
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