Over the last year, I've spent a good deal of my time questioning performing dances and choreographing dances. I've been questioning how we share dance (stage, gallery, instagram and other social media platforms) and what it means to share dance for the maker, the performer, and the consumer.
To me, dance feels ego driven. It feeds the ego of everyone participating in it (maker/doer/watcher).
How can I morally create dance and express myself through this extremely personal art form without feeding the ego of myself, of the people making, of the people performing, or of the people watching? Is this possible? How do I push myself to create not to make money, not to make a reputation, not to please an audience I've never met, not to show off the skill/technique of those performing, not to get praise on social media, not to be remember but to just create because it feels good and natural and human?
The stage conjures up certain expectations. The stage expects perfection. Perfection is something I will never achieve (I'm human). Making dance for the stage breeds an unhealthy relationship with perfectionism. It breeds expectations and assumptions. Lately I've been questioning performance and the use of the stage. As a child, the stage is where I showed my worth, my talent, my skill. I received praised from my parents, from my friends parents, and most importantly, praise from my teachers. As an adult, the stage is still a place to display worth. But now my worth is determined by a paycheck, a grant, a plug on social media, a reputation. Can the stage be a place to display honesty?
How do I market myself as a dancer and artist without losing the integrity of honesty?