oneofthree

movements do not happen in a vacuum

a summary:

the following is a collection of personal thoughts on life, dance and art. some things make sense. others don't. the bottom line: the idea of creating dance or art for the purpose of performance seems utterly ridiculous to me. the idea of dancing for others in a piece/work they created feels utterly ridiculous to me.

constantly questioning why i'm dancing, making dance, making art, viewing art, crying over dance (happy/inspired cries and defeated cries).

constantly questioning ownership of the body, the performer, the maker. how does one express themselves without exploiting themselves (the maker), the performer(s), and the audience (the viewer is paying money to watch the work and/or giving their valuable time to the work)? can you ethically make art?

can dance be thought provoking, intelligent, meaningful, expressive, intentional, calculated without being rooted in performance/entertainment/exploitation? can dance be ritual, celebratory, honest, human, and still be presented to other? can dance hold its human integrity while being performed? is creating honest dance paradoxical in its nature?

reoccurring thoughts:

community

love

connection

honesty

a dislike of performance

a dislike of performing

ritual

place

reasoning/reason

belonging

colors

care

pessimism

ego

audience/consumer

public vs private

ego / identity / self

twelvetwelve

making / creating / sharing / why?

ego / identity / self

no date

i want to feel the unforgiving chaos of being human. its love and panic and sleepless nights. i welcome pure joy, Life. i welcome the pleasures that comes married to the destruction, Life. the terror that stops me is also what gives me motion. i cry because of happiness and pain. this is a reference point. peaks and valleys. i will come as i am, Life. you come as you are.

drawing by Fari

22 February, 2019

i'm trying to understand my relationship to dance.

what's my role? do i have a 'purpose' within dance? do i have a 'place' in the dance/art world?

i have very intense feelings regarding dance, making art, the ethics of art making, and how people consume art. i want people to form their own opinions on certain concepts/artist/works of art and not just agree/disagree because it will strengthen their own predisposed biases.

twelvetwelve

twelvetwelve is a piece I created for Ideas in Action, March 2019.

Twelve dancers walked in a straight line, twelve steps forward and twelve steps back, with their eyes closed.

This was a study on human connection. Human awareness. Human vulnerability and trust.

IMG_3586.mp4

IMG_3590.TRIM.MOV

Notes on twelvetwelve:

something about connection.

something about people making connections.

is it about anything?

process giving way to product

process giving way to process

can a piece of work be just about the process? can a piece of work be just about the way the performers feel?

can it be about nothing more than creativity and the road to the destination?

attempts at creating a score for twelvetwelve. the score developed into a game of chance and blind faith.

making / creating / sharing / why?

30 April, 2019

the idea of creating work to eventually present is absolutely ridiculous.

to use human bodies. to exploit human bodies. to choreograph on human bodies. to express feelings and thoughts through other human bodies (or on your own body).

-how absolutely insane-

to use a stage. to use a museum. to use a video. why.

i'm not one to perform. or create [for performance]. i'm one to criticize. i am the pessimist.

i am the one to question my own desires. i will reject the formula because it is exhausted and overused. making the idea of making work using a formula or conjuring from my own feelings/thoughts/emotions is insane. giving my body to someone else to manipulate and exploit is insane.

so, where does that leave me in dance and art?