Musical Madness
Scene begins with a school setting. People talking, eating lunch.
Sophie and Lewis appear from stage left.
Sophie: What’s next?
Lewis: Math
Sophie: Ugh, you're joking
Lewis: Wish I was
(Popular kids walk past and knock books out of Sophies hand)
Popular 1: Oops, sorry
Popular 2: You need to watch where your going
Popular 3: Loser
Lewis: Here let me help you (goes to help Sophie up)
Sophie: I'm fine (brushes herself down)
Popular 1: Have a nice trip?
Popular 2: Yeah, where is my post card?
ALL POPULARS LAUGH (Bell goes)
Lewis: Well we better be going
Popular 2: Yeah run along now
Popular 3: Wouldn’t want to be late for math class would we
Sophie: I don’t even like math
Popular 1: Sure, so you wouldn’t mind skipping then
Sophie: I mean
Lewis: Don’t, think about your grades Soph
Sophie: SHH Lewis
Popular 2: You going to listen to your boyfriend or come hand out with us?
Sophie: Won’t we get caught?
Popular 3: Only if you're bad at hiding
Second Bell sound
Popular 1: Well are you in?
Sophie: ugh, fine!
Popular 2: Well you better run and hide, staff alert!
Popular kids run off. Sophie and Lewis are left looking around for places to hide.
Students are running to lesson
Lewis: But why can’t we just go, were gonna be in so much trouble! Where can we even hide?
Sophie: I have no clue, erm
Voice: Quick, in here!
Sophie and Lewis enter the janitors room
Lewis: WOAH!, YOU DIDN’T TELL ME WE HAD A TV IN HERE!
Sophie: SHH, were gonna get caught
Lewis picks up the controller and turns on the TV.
Lewis: Sophie look, DANCE MAT!
Computer: Welcome to Dance Dance Dance! Please enter player 1 name
Sophie: Lewis, shh, were gonna get caught
Computer: Please enter player 1 name
Lewis: L-E-W-I-S
Computer: Now enter player 2 name
Lewis: Sophie common! S-O
Sophie: NO
Lewis: P
Sophie: NO
Lewis: H
Sophie: Don’t even!
Lewis: I-E
Sophie: Why have you done that?!
Lewis: well I thought we could
Computer: Error
Sophie: Just put it down, were just gonna go to math and pretend to the others we hid and I'll say that we was at student council. Yeah, that will work!
Computer: Error
Lewis: Erm Soph
Computer: Error
Sophie: What?
Computer: Error
Lewis: I think we have a problem
Computer: Error
Sophie: Ugh, just turn it off look
(Sophie takes the remote and presses a button)
Sophie: See, now lets Go
The pair are sucked into the game. Sophie and Lewis open the door to find themselves in another school classroom.
Teacher: Right class, today we will be learning fractions
Jamie: Ugh I hateeeeee fractions
Teacher: Jamie, did you say something
Jamie: No you’re hearing things miss
Teacher: So today we are going to be learning fractions
Jamie: (to the class) we know
Teacher: Jamie, how many times do I need to tell you to stop being rude?
Jamie: But I can’t miss, I can’t concentrate. I don’t want to be learning fractions I’d rather be doing something else.
Teacher: Like what Jamie?
Jamie: You know (goes to speak)
Teacher: Well
Jamie: Ugh never mind
Sophie and Lewis Whisper:
Sophie: Where are we?
Lewis: I think were in a different school.
Sophie: Maybe we hit our heads
Jamie: I’d just rather be on the stage or something less boring than this.
Teacher: Jamie, what now? Do I need to send you to
Jamie: No
Teacher: Right, So, open you books (the music starts)
AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT
Sophie: What is happening?
Lewis: WE ARE IN THE MUSICAL
Sophie: What do we do?
Lewis: Just join in, copy, if they detect us, who knows what could happen.
Dance
Sophie: I do not like this!
Lewis: That was a close one
Sophie: I want to go home
Lewis: Erm, Let’s try this door.
Sophie: Do we have too?
Lewis: Well I think someone is coming so quick! Let’s Go!
(The pair exit, Jamie is then seen strutting across the stage dancing to get his bag )
SCENE
The pair open the door
Sophie: Where are we now? This is not school Lewis, you said we was going back
Lewis: Erm, im not too sure yet, I can’t quite make it out. All I know is that I think we are in the game?
Sophie: Like Jumanji?
Lewis: Yes like that
Sophie: So
Lewis: So we are going to have to play the game to escape
Computer: Correct
Sophie: What was that?
Computer: I am the computer. To escape, player LEWIS and player SOPHIE must escape the musicals
Lewis: OMG, BEST DAY EVER!
Sophie: SHHHH, but what if we don’t?
Lewis: then we are stuck!
Computer: Correct. Do not get detected. And remember, keep dancing
Sophie: You are joking , I have 2 left feet! I hate dancing
Lewis: You’ll be fine! Look I think the next level is this way.
They go through another door.
Sophie: Where now?
Lewis: Circus ring, Swing, OMG were in The Greatest showman!
Sophie: Yippe!
Lewis: You can be the bearded lady
Sophie: Very funny
Lewis: So I think this is the part where they open the show
PT: Is everybody ready?
ALL: Yes
PT: We have worked so hard for this, it is now opening time, Lets show them what we have
ALL: Cheer
Circus performer: But they will laugh at us.
Circus performer 3: They all hate us
Circus performer 4: Were the ‘outcasts’ of the world
PT: So let them laugh. You are amazing, unique and should show the world your talents
Circus performer 2: But they always laugh. No one likes that we are different.
Circus performer 3: No one judges you because you seem normal
Circus performer 4: We get laughed at daily, why is today going to be different
PT: Then laugh back! Let us show them that we are incredible. No one can stop who we are and what we have.
Sophie: (to Lewis) I couldn’t do it. It’s too much. Im too self conscious.
Lewis: Listen to what he is saying. Everyone is unique and amazing
Sophie: But I have never done anything like this before, ever
Lewis: Soph, you got this, you’re ace!
Circus performer 3: I mean we have worked hard
Circus performer : yeah, ignore them, Lets do it!
PT: Great! Then let’s do this! Places, que the music, que the lights, lets give them the greatest show!
COME ALIVE PLAYS
Dance
Sophie: I can’t express how much I do NOT like this Lewis. You’re the reason we are in this mess. All I wanted to do was go to math but nooooo. Here we are, in ‘game land’ and I hate it.
Lewis: I just thought
Sophie: Well you thought wrong
Lewis: I thought you wanted to skip
Sophie: No, im just sick of them popular’s bullying me. Like yeah, I can be cool. Just because I like math doesn’t mean im not. You know what I mean? (Lewis nods) Like, all these people, in whatever musical this is, the greatest, greatest, erm play or
Lewis: Showman
Sophie: Yeah that. Well they just prove that its ok to be different. I just want to go back and show them that. If only I had the courage
Lewis: And you will have that. I know you hate this but look how far we have come. I think we need to carry on. Every performer has confidence, maybe this will give you that skill. Yeah, that’s it! Games have perks right
Sophie: Sure?
Lewis: So im guessing we need to gain the perks as we go along to help us with ‘real life’ when we are back.
Sophie: So im going to have to face more challenges
Computer: Correct. Player LEWIS and Player SOPHIE must unlock rewards.
Sophie: Oh yay, more stuff to do.
Computer: Please progress to level 3
Sophie: Oh no
Computer: Please progress to level 3
Sophie: Lewissssssss I can’t do this
Computer: Please progress to level 3
Lewis: There is no such word a can’t Sophie
Computer: Please progress to level 3
Sophie: Funny
Computer: Please progress to level 3
Lewis: Quick this way
They go through the door.
Sophie: why is it so messy in here?
Kids run past
Lewis: Erm
Sophie: Why are there children everywhere?
Miss Hanigan: If this room is not clean by the time I enter, you’ll all be grounded
Sophie: Sounds like my mum
Lewis: And mine
Miss Hanigan: I want this building to shine, Understood
Kids: Yes Miss Hanigan
Miss Hangian: Work! (she spots Sophie and Lewis Hiding) and you two. Hmmm, not seen you before have? (they look at each other scared) Well? SPEAK
Sophie: (gulps) well actually
Lewis: we are your eldest kids remember! We have been here for years
Miss Hanigan: Get. To. Work (exits)
Sophie: she’s so mean
Hard Knock Life
Sophie: I don’t think I can leave them all here, we should help them escape
Lewis: We can’t just mess with the musical
Sophie: Sure we can
Lewis: Soph
Sophie: isn’t there like bosses that you have to defeat in games or something?
Lewis: Yeah but this
Sophie: Then we just have to help the kids escape and they have defeated her surely?
Lewis: I don’t think we need to do that for this level. I think maybe we just need to go
Sophie: Can’t we at least help Annie go?
Lewis: ugh, we need to do something discrete, so the game doesn’t detect.
Sophie: What you mean?
Lewis: Well if that computer detects that we have done something, we could, idk, lose lives or something. Like on a game you get so many lives. Well if the computer doesn’t see us help or we leave something for them to find and help them, then maybe we can
Sophie: Still beat the game! Great! So what can we do?
Lewis: Well you see in there (points, Sophie Nods) that is where the key to the building is. If we can give it to Annie without the game knowing, she can escape.
Sophie: Ok! I'll go get it (goes to walk)
Lewis: (stops her) No! Got to be discrete! I’ll distract, you go (Sophie sneaks to get the key)
Sophie puts the key in Annies pocket, the pair signal each other
Sophie: But which way? There is no doors
Lewis: You’re gonna hate this
Sophie: What
Lewis: The garbage shoot
Sophie: You have got to be kidding
Annie feels something in her pocket and begins to take out the key
Lewis: Quick! She has found the key. The game can not know
They exit
Computer: Well done on beating level 3. I am making this too easy
Sophie: Easy?!
Computer: Level 4 is more upbeat. Can you stay in time?
Sophie: Stay in time?
Lewis: I think it’s going to be something fast
Sophie: But I have 2 left feet
Lewis: really? You haven't said
Sophie: Funny
Computer: Please progress to level 4
Lewis: let’s go! The quicker this is done, the quicker we are back.
Sophie: ugh
They enter a new musical
GREASE
Sophie: Some sort of hall
Lewis: SHH, people are coming
Kenicky: Hey ZUKO, who’s your date to the dance
Danny: Well uh
Kenicky: Don’t tell me, the same date from last year (pauses) no one
Danny: I actually do have a date
Kenicky: Tell me more
Danny: We met at on vacation
Kenicky: Dude?
Danny: Yeah I mean it was cool and like we just chatted
Kenicky pats the boys to get their attention, sandy enters from the right
Lewis: OMG SOPHIE , WE ARE IN GREASE!
Lewis runs out into the game. Sandy then thinks that he is Danny
Sandy: Hey Danny
Lewis looks at Sophie (shrugs)
Lewis: Erm, hey
Sandy: you look nice
Sophie walks out to help and is grabbed by the arm by Danny
Danny: Sandy, you look great
Sophie: Im not (looks at lewis) I mean, thank you Dan?
Danny: Danny
Sophie: Right.
Danny: I didn’t think you was going to come. I thought you hated me
Sophie: well
Sandy: Im sorry im so late by the way, I forgot what time we said to meet
Lewis: that’s ok
Danny: So you wanna go get a drink or burger or something
Sophie: Excuse me for just one moment please
Danny: Sure.
Sophie goes to Lewis
Sophie: He thinks im Sandy
Lewis: I think we are going to have to pretend we are them
Sophie: Nope, no way.
Lewis: We have no other choice. If they detect that we are not actually in the musical, who knows what could happen!
Sophie: Great! So what happens now then?
Lewis: Well this is the scene where they are getting ready for the dance competition.
Sophie: So that mean
Lewis: Yep, you're going to have to dance with him
Sophie: Great
Lewis: I have an idea.
Sophie: Go on.
Lewis: Well why don’t we dance with them, but during it, find a way to push our characters back together
Sophie: You have lost me
Lewis: Like, make them dance with each other
Sophie: Ahhhh, ok
Lewis: Just follow my lead
HAND JIVE
Lewis and Sophie put the characters back together and run into the next door.
Computer: Well done, you managed to beat my last challenge
Sophie: now you listen here you. Im getting fed up of these games
Computer: There is only one game that you are playing DANCE, DANCE, DANCE. To switch game mode please say switch game mode
Sophie: NO
Lewis: Calm down, Look, lets go this way
ENTER NEW MUSICAL SIX
Howard: No he loved me more
Seymor: I mean, I was the only one he truly loved
Cleaves: Nah, you guys are wrong
Parr: I survived and outlived him so, I think we know who the real winner is here.
Aragon: He loved me first
Howard: Please, he dumped you when he found Boleyn
Aragon: Yeah but I didn’t lose my head did I
Howard: Anne, tell them it was worth it. (Looks for Anne) Anne?
Aragon: Where is she?
Cleaves: Probably crying in the bathroom again about losing her head
All: laugh
Parr: Well the show is about to start so she best be here for that.
Lewis: Ok, don’t hate me, but I think that Boylen is missing and I think this level requires you to stand in
Sophie: Not a chance! I don’t want to lose my head
Lewis: They don’t actually do that in the musical. They just sing and dance about it. Quite an interesting musical actually, get to learn facts from it.
Sophie: But I don’t know what im doing
Lewis: Sophie, you are grade 9 in history. I think you can make up a verse of the song with facts about her and just copy the moves.
Sophie: But I have never sang in front of anyone. Not even my mum
Lewis: Well now is your chance to earn that perk of the game we was talking about, Show them how its’s done
Sophie: But I really don’t want to, (Lewis pushes her into place) Lewis , no, I said No
SIX SONG
Cleaves: Finally stopped crying in the toilets to join us then
Aragon: Should have been here on time, not last minuet
Boylen: Sorry I'm late guys I was just
Howard: Wait a minuet, how can there be two of you
The two Annes look at each other
Parr: Well someone say something
Boylen: Well she is clearly an imposter!
Sophie: Im not an imposter
Cleaves: Lets call a team meeting
AMONG US STYLE MEETING
Seymour: I think Anne is suss
Howard: Which one
Seymour: Her (points to Sophie), She doesn’t even have a scar
Parr: True! The real Boylen would have a scar
Howard: So I know who I am voting for
Sophie: Wait, what happens when we vote
Seymor: You get eliminated from the game, duh
Cleaves: Haven’t you ever played the game?
Parr: Let’s all vote
Computer: 5 seconds remaining
Sophie: Oh no
Computer: 5
Sophie: Lewis
Computer: 4
Sophie: Lewis help
Computer: 3
Sophie: Lewis please
Computer: 2
Sophie: Im not the imposter
Computer: 1
Sophie: I can’t get eliminated
Computer: 0
Sophie: gulps
Computer: votes have been counted and verified. I can now announce that the player with the most votes and therefore dumped is...
END OF ACT 1
ACT 2
CRASH SOUND EFFECT – Sophie and Lewis appear in game room
Sophie: Lewis!
Lewis: Sophie
Computer: I thought I nearly had you then
Sophie: Lewis you saved my life
Lewis: We are a team
Computer: That was a close escape for you. But now I will just make it harder
Sophie: Lewis im scared
Lewis: Sophie, im so proud of you, you sounded amazing
Sophie: Lewis I can’t do it
Lewis: We have come so far. Don’t give up now. Just think, we are nearly home
Sophie: Im beginning to forget where home is
Lewis: Let’s just get our heads in the game and win this thing
Computer: Next level commencing in 5
Sophie: Give me a break
Computer, 4, 3, 2,1
NEW MUSICAL
MATILDA
Sophie: We’re back?
Lewis: In school?
Sophie: Yes! Lewis we did it! We are back in school
Lewis: Let’s just sit in our seats and pretend we was here the whole time
The class enter
Miss Honey: Class, I would like you to meet new student Matilda.
ALL: Hi Matilda
Miss Honey: I am hoping that you will all make her feel welcome here
Sophie and Lewis look at each other
Sophie: You are joking
Lewis: Well at least we are in A school
Miss Honey: Who can tell me what 2x2 is
Kid 1: 4
Miss Honey: Correct, and 2x4 is
Kid 2: 8
Miss Honey: Correct and who can tell me what 2x11 is
Matilda: 22
Miss Honey: Amazing Matilda, we haven’t even looked at our 11 times tables yet. Soon you will know how to do 11x11
Matilda: 121
Miss Honey: Fantastic!
Kid 1: She is such a nerd
Kid 2: Freak
Kid 3: (runs into class) She’s coming!
Kids: scream
Sophie: Who?
Kid 3: The Trunchable, she is coming
Sophie: Who is she
Kid 2: She is the worst head teacher ever! One time she made this boy Bruce eat an entire chocolate cake until he was sick
Sophie: That is just awful
Bruce: Well Im fed up of her! All she does is boss me around and its not fair! Do you know how sick I was after eating that chocolate cake? AND my mum put me on a huge diet, that means no maccies for 3 months!
Sophie: Then stand up to her!
Bruce: What do you mean?
Sophie: Tell her to stop being so mean?
Bruce: And get put in the choky? No thanks
Sophie: But if you all tell her, you can’t all fit in right?
ALL : YEAH!
Lewis: Tell her she can’t treat you like that
ALL: YEAH!
REVOLTING CHILDREN
GAME ROOM
Sophie: She reminds me of someone
Lewis: Who
Sophie: Lucy and her POPULAR mates
Lewis: (laughs) Don’t that is too true
Sophie: I really thought we was back then
Lewis: Me too
Sophie: I guess it is this way
Computer: Only 2 more levels remain
Sophie: Thank god!
ENTER NEW MUSICAL
ENTER NEW MUSICAL
CATS
(Sophie and Lewis step into a dark, cold alleyway)
Lewis: Where are we now?
Sophie: I don’t know… but this is giving me the chills
(The pair look around in confusion)
Bombalurina: (Yelling in anger) WHO DARE ENTERS MY ALLEYWAY?
Sophie: We… We’re lost. We don’t know how we ended up here, how do we get out?
(Bombalurina circles the pair and laughs maliciously)
Bombalurina: Ahh. Another pair of HUMANS who have fallen into the trap of the game. If you really want to leave the alley, you’ve got the face the power of the cats!
Lewis: Cats?
Sophie: What… like kittens?
(Bombalurina laughs loudly and maliciously)
Bombalurina: CATS…. UNITE
(All of the Cats run in and circle the pair)
JELLICLE BALL PLAYS
Bombalurina: Good!........ NOW! SCURRY, KITTIES, GO FIND ME SOME FOOD.
Sophie: Sooo, where’s the exit?
Bombalurina: Oh. It’s not that easy, silly humans. You don’t know what you have to do to escape this game, do you? I can tell you’ve never been here before.
Lewis: What do you mean?
Bombalurina: I suggest you run.
(Sophie begins to run around the stage and Lewis follows behind, being chased by Bombalurina)
Lewis: She’s insane!
Sophie: QUICK, GO IN HERE
(Sophie and Lewis enter the building next to the alley)
BLACKOUT
NEW MUSICAL
Enter new musical – Wizard of OZ/Wicked
Sophie: (Shouting) Lewis.Lewis. Where are you Lewis?
Lewis: (drops in late) Soph. Sophie
Sophie: Lewis! Thank Goodness you are safe!
Lewis: Yeah, one of them cats nearly got one of their claws stuck in my top. Was not fun.
Sophie: Well, you’re here and that’s all that matters.
Lewis: This must be the last level Soph! We can go home after this now.
Sophie: But how do we get home Lewis?
Munchkin 1: Follow the yellow brick road
Sophie: What was that
Munchkin 2: Follow the yellow brick road
Sophie: Lewis, who is that talking?
Munchkin 3: Follow the yellow brick road.
Sophie: Who are you? Where are you? Show yourself!
Lewis: Soph, I think
(Munchkin 1,2,3 appear)
Munchkins: Follow the yellow brick road.
Lewis: But why? We want to go home. We don’t need some side quest. We don’t want a bonus round. We want to go home.
Sophie: Lewis, are you alright? I mean, even I know this musical.
Lewis: What musical?
Sophie: The wizard of oz. You know, with Dorethy and toto and the scarecrow. Tin man . Lion?
Lewis: Nope, never seen it.
Sophie: You’re kidding! You have seen every musical under the sun except this one. It’s a classic! Even the audience have probably seen this one!
Lewis: I can’t say I have.
Sophie: Well if we make it to the wizard, then he can take us home! So to do that we must.
Munchkins: follow the yellow brick road
(Scarecrow enters)
Scarecrow: erm, hello there lady, are you going to the wizard?
Sophie: Yes
Scarecrow: can I come? Then I can get a, erm, what they called
Lewis: Brain?
Scarecrow: Right
Sophie: why do you look so scared?
Scarecrow: oh, I was just made that way. But I am nervous, where will this yellow brick road lead?
Munchkins: Emerald city!
Scarecrow: Right
Sophie: Don’t be scared! Ive been scared a lot but if this silly game has taught me anything, it is to face my fears!
Scarecrow: Fears?
Sophie: Look, just ease on down the road.
All: Ease on down the road?
Sophie: I’ll show you !
EASE ON DOWN THE ROAD.
Computer: Congratulations, you have completed game. Please select ‘new game’ to play again
Sophie: Aint no chance
Lewis: But I thought that you enjoyed it
Sophie: I actually did, I think it has made me realise that I shouldn’t let those populars boss me around, or influence me. I don’t need to be like them.
Lewis: I mean I have been telling you this all your life and it has taken
Sophie: I know it has taken a silly musical or two to help me realise that
Lewis: They're not silly
Sophie: Ok fine they're not, but never admit to anyone that I said I enjoy them
Computer: Please select your option, exit or play again
Lewis picks up the remote
Sophie: You better press the right button this time
BACK AT SCHOOL
Sophie: Lewis You did it!
Lewis: Sophie I'm so proud of you, Math?
Sophie: No, there is something that I need to do
In corridor
Popular 1: You went to math
Sophie: No actually
Popular 1: Yeah right, next lie. Well anyway, I want 3 completed copies of this homework in my locker by Friday, nerd
Sophie: NO
Popular 1: Excuse me
Sophie: Im not doing it
Popular 1: but I am your friend, without me everyone will think you are a loser.
Sophie: I don’t care. I am me and that’s all that matters.
Lewis: Sophie lets go she's not worth it.
Sophie: No, Im a superstar and you don’t even know it
Popular: Freak (exits)
Lewis: You not bothered about them now?
Sophie: no. Because thanks to you and your weird obsession for musicals, I know how much I am worth.
KID 1: Thank you
Sophie: for what
Kid 1: Standing up to her
Lewis: see
JAMIE – OUT OF THE DARKENESS
END