Welcome Back!
This week’s story is about everyone’s favorite guy, Hercules. There is one thing the edited versions of the myths don’t get wrong, and that is that Hercules was a super cool dude adored by all. Everyone here at Olympus University still loves him and talks about him all the time. Heck we even have a statue of him in the middle of campus! Anyways, today I’ll be telling you the real story of the Twelve Labors of Hercules. This will be split into two parts because there are so many of them and most of them are pretty awesome.
When Hercules came to OU he was what one would call a “High School Hero” meaning that he was still coasting off the popularity that he had in high school. This made going through fraternity rush quite easy for him, since he was well known by guys in all the houses, and he easily got the house he wanted. The only problem was the Pledge Trainer, Eurysthesus, or as the pledges knew him, King E. He had it out for Hercules for “dethroning” him in high school, whatever that means. The point is that King E was going to make Hercules’s pledgeship as hard as he possibly could by making him do ten (it later gets extended to twelve) tasks, or “labors” as they became known.
Disclaimer: There were twelve labors, so not all of them can be super exciting.
The First Labor: The Nemean Lion. Hercules's first task was supposed to be impossible! He had to kidnap the University of Nemea’s mascot… they were (and still are) the lions. Somehow, Hercules managed to get Leo the lion from Nemea back to OU but he knew that wouldn’t be enough for King E. He would somehow figure out a way for Hercules to fail, so using his connections, Hercules had Leo the Lion made into a constellation. That way the University of Nemea couldn’t take him back and King E had to say he completed the task.
The Second Labor: The Lernean Hydra. No, Hercules did not actually fight a serpentine water monster with many heads and poisonous breath in college! That would be crazy! It was a name that the actives made up for the style of fighting used on Pledge Fight Night. The idea was that a pledge and an initiated member of the frat, known as actives for short, would wrestle and if the pledge somehow won, they would have to fight two actives next. Get it? Like when you cut off one of the hydra’s heads two more grow back in its place. Anyways, Hercules had to win Pledge Fight Night. King E knew that Hercules was incredibly strong and would probably win a few rounds, but then get defeated. He wasn’t expecting Hercules’s pledge brother, Iolaus, to help him out by spraying the actives with the fire extinguisher. Pretty soon all of the actives were either beaten by Hercules or covered in fire extinguisher foam, and they declared Hercules the winner of Pledge Fight Night.
The Third Labor: Erymanthian Boar. Hercules was put in charge of catching the boar for the annual pig roast the fraternity hosted. He did, and it went down in history as the best pig roast in frat history. Seriously, go ask them. They won’t shut up about it.
The Fourth Labor: Cerynian Hind. This task had to do with some really fast deer with golden horns that was sacred to the goddess Artemis. It’s pretty close to the myth they tell you because it’s not one of the real exciting labors that needed jazzing up. Basically, Hercules got the golden horn, completed the task, and didn’t end up on Artemis’s bad side.
And that is where we'll end the tale of Hercules at for now! Tune in next week for the rest of the tasks Hercules had to do for King E.
-Nobody
Author’s Note: I know in the Welcome Letter that I only mentioned two of the twelve labors, but it was just too short to make a full story. I then had to split the twelve labors up because it was a very long story with all of them. Don't worry, though, if you really enjoyed this story because Part 2 will be posted next week!
I kept things about the fraternity very vague because I was hesitant to write about greek life in the first place. Not only did I think talking about greek life and Greek Mythology together might be confusing, but I also didn’t want to bring up anything controversial about it.
The Twelve Labors of Hercules were actually started by Hera because she was upset that Hercules was illegitimate son of her husband, Zeus. She made him go crazy and kill his children. Hercules feels guilty about this, so he asks the Oracle of Delphi what he can do to make up for this. She tells him that he has to become a servant of King Eurystheus of Argos, who tells Hercules that he has to perform ten labors for him. Hercules does all ten of them but then Eurysthesus gives him two more because he had help on the second and fifth labors. He then gained immortality for completing them all.
Bibliography. The Twelve Labors of Hercules from Theoi.com. Links to page
Photo from Jostens