元 Origins 元

[!] Note: This page contains two parts. The new backstory (Pieces of Yesterday) and the old backstory (Genesis). The new backstory is entirely accurate to the new Okemia lore and the old backstory is almost accurate except for the ending. [!]

Pieces of Yesterday

Chapter 1



The feeling is what she recollected vividly. It wasn’t the feeling of confusion, that came a moment later. The oddness of how a room could feel so warm yet so cold at the same time was what infatuated her. The confusion aided in the bewilderment she felt, though more so to the coldness. For confusion was to be feared.

The sun shone against the gray and whites, creating beauty out of a rather bleak place. The sunlight danced at her skin, tickling her awake. Though even with the rays, her eyes remained closed. Through eyelids, an orange color appeared, calling her fourth. Slowly she blinked, finding it difficult to open them, as if new to this place, this world. A new born seeing for the first time.

The warm colors flooded her vision, blinding her for a moment and although she wanted to close them again, return to rest, she found she couldn’t. The warm colors dispersed suddenly, being overwhelmed by the cold feeling that had always been present but hidden in the room.

A fear came over her, a confusion, as she looked about, breaking the warm gaze. Finding this place was cold for a reason. The bleak colors, the uncomfortable nature of the bed, and the IV. All the equipment, cold. Why the only warmth now that the sun had gone, was the clammy, dying warmth of herself. A panic ensued, as she looked around, an obvious fear proceeding to claw its way into her brain. With a heart rate skyrocketing, the monitor beside the bed began to sound an alarm. A swell of tears began to flood, her dam eyes had unleashed a waterfall. The confusion, the fear of the unknown, was a human nature fear. For that was how our ancestors survived. Even if she had tried to recall why she resided there, she was in too large of a panicked state to care, and even then such a thought would have oddly eluded her still.

A sudden commotion drew her to a door. Her eyes widened as she heard footsteps sound louder as the moments passed. The feeling of being stalked, made her flee, though she was human, she was still an animal. The door handle began to raddle, she cried out, starting to shake profercely. She leaped out of the bed, wires peeling off, as well as a needle, painfully being yanked out of her wrist. A howl of pain arose, but it didn’t stun her, fleeing to a corner of the room, when the door finally swung open.

It revealed, a female, in hospital scrubs, whos smile had turned to a terror at the sight of the girl. She stood there for a moment, eyeing the patient, a mix of concern and pure confusion. As soon as she noticed the needle laying against the ground and the shaking form of the girl, the nurse called out. “CODE YELLOW RI.” This only further distressed the girl, cowering in the corner, as a doctor and four other personnel flooded the room.

They stared at her, their skeptical eyes watching her own, widened ones. One tried to reach for her and she fell back into the corner slipping. The nurse turned to the doctor, a male no older than 38, with long white hair, that had been tied up neatly. “Jane Doe case, she was in comatosis for five months.” The group of hospital staff surrounded the patient. The same male, who’d reached out for her, brown eyed, bent down. He seemed to open his mouth to speak to her but the door hinged opening again, as another character appeared.

This man seemed well dressed, with short, fluffy blond curls, that framed his baby blue eyes, that reminded of an old oil painting. He cleared his throat as he stepped towards the group. He noticed immediately the tense nature of the room and sighed before speaking. “Everyone clear the room, it's obvious the presence of so many people has terrified the patient.” The doctor turned to the blond man, whispering something the girl could not quite make up before the doctor nodded, addressing the other personnel. “Mr. Yamada will take care of it from here, come along everyone.”

The group exchanged glances with each other but dare not question the doctor. Instead they opted to file out of the room, leaving the girl and Mr. Yamada behind. Though the hospital staff had dismissed, the tension still held.

Mr. Yamada meandered with a gentle pace over to the girl, kneeling downward a few feet from her. Now that he looked closely at the female, whose vivid red hair and contrasting gray blue eyes were unforgettable, he realized just what patient she was. Even with a newly held terror smeerd across her face, her file case had endured his mind since he’d first seen it. The picture was quite the converse to the feared emotion she held, it had been numb, emotionless, dead even. Although it was fear, it struck him happy knowing she was now very much alive.

He’d presented himself with a generous smile, even as a tall male of his size, the smile managed to size down his intimidating stature. He made no attempt to reach for her or touch her, instead opting for words. The girl’s face held raw with panic but the smile made her feel even the slightest bit warmer despite the cold room nagging at her to join the grays and whites. She stood frozen, unable to thaw enough to flee once more.

After a long moment of gathering his thoughts, Mr. Yamada slowly began to speak, his tone quiet, a voice matching the strong scent of jasmine and honey cologne that enwreathed him.

“Hello miss, my name is Issei. I am here to help you.” He spoke in a simple way, for he did not know if she even understood japanese. Though as soon as the words escaped his lips, it was clear from her attentiveness to the sentence, that she did. She turned her head, her mouth slightly agape for a few moments, as if she feared consequences of saying the wrong thing. Finally she replied, a slight stutter to get out the word “w…where?” Issei lent her a benign look, before slowly crossing his legs in a sitting position, gently laying his palms upright against his thighs. He did this in an attempt to put her mind at ease, for he had nothing to hide and was blatantly showing it. Perhaps this action was to attempt to make him come across as more genuine.

“We’re currently in Sakabe International Clinic, in Kyoto.” Using “we” to make her feel less alone. “Do you know where that is?” The girl only managed a small shake of her head. “That's ok. Do you know what year it is?” This time the girl thought more heavily, as if trying to recall, but shook her head a second time. Issei had a clear worry plastered across his face, but tried to remain calm for the patient’s sake. Not wanting to stress her too much, he asked a final question. “What is your name?” This final question seemed to upset her a bit, as she tried to a painful extent to recall. When he noticed the well of frustration beginning to form, he instinctively reached a hand towards her, soon realizing his mistake, as she flinched immediately at the sudden movement. Her fear, which had quieted a bit, seemed to still be brewing. “Sorry. I won’t come closer. Promise.” Issei looked around the room, finding, on the table beside the bed, was a small gift basket, which was funded monthly by the Togawa Institution for long term patients. As a nice donation, to show sickly people they were not forgotten about.

He eyed a small stuffed animal fox, placed neatly in the basket, surrounded by books and other games. “I’m gonna grab that basket there ok?” Asking in hopes not to scare her. She assumed a small nod. With this as sufficient approval, slowly, a bit too slow for his taste, but more likely not enough for her own, he peeled the basket off, setting it down beside him. Perhaps informing her of his movements would lessen the tension. “I’m going to grab the little stuffed animal, could I give it to you?” The girl’s posture seemed to perk up at the idea of a gift. She watched curiously as he lightly grasped the toy, holding it out to her steadily. After a hesitant few seconds, she leaned forward, extending her hand, which still shook an awful lot, gripping the toy in a fist. She reeled her arm backward, hugging the stuffed fox to her chest. Although the girl was from what he could recall fifteen, she seemed to act like a fearful little child, explaining the excitement at the mere mention of a stuffed animal. It broke his heart at the thought of what she had gone through, but seeing as she could not even recall her name, he doubted she remembered what had happened to her. Issei decided not to press about that, his first goal should be to build some trust with her.

The girl’s arm was still bleeding, though not heavily, he knew it needed to be patched sooner than later. Although that task in itself was going to be a challenge, because she flinched at the slightest movement of him coming closer. Her eyes, which had been set on the ground, avoiding his own, finally lifted. Issei seemed a bit surprised at this, the patient was actually making eye contact. Her mouth stayed open for a moment, as if she were thinking of what to say. “T…hank you.” He presumed it was a thanks for the toy, but one could not be too sure. Issei nodded “of course I’m here to help remember? That includes cheering you up.” The girl’s head turned, as if she didn’t understand. “Okay.” Was the simple reply she gave, however the word seemed much calmer than before, perhaps she was warming up?

“Thank you, for being so good. I know it's scary, but you’re really doing a wonderful job.” He wanted to reassure her, giving a compliment might do just that. He aimed his sights at the door, she was in this room for a reason, a coma. She needed to be under watch to make sure she was doing ok, it amazed and concerned him how much activity she’d just done after five months of being gone. Not to mention she had many injuries. “I know it was too much having that many people here, but could I invite one back? He’s really nice I promise!” The girl seemed unsure, eyeing Issei. “He’s just gonna make sure you’re healthy! You’ve been to the doctor before right? It's just like a little check-up.” She’d seem to swallow hard, as if nervous before replying. “Okay.”

“I’m gonna call him on my radio, it's pretty fancy.” He was for now going to treat her more childlike than anything, compared to him she was a child, him being thirty two. Issei brought his radio out from his belt, where it hung from. He held down a button and spoke into it, though not too loudly. “Mr. Sasaki report to room 109. Mr. Sasaki report to room 109.” Issei then slipped the radio back around his belt, turning to the girl.

“He’ll be in soon, would you mind sitting on the bed?” She’d look over at it, still gripping the fox, she’d nod in response to his request. She attempted to stand, but her legs started to cave, Issei rushed to her side, holding her upright. “Let me help you.” She jumped at the suddenness of his action but did not argue. Issei placed her on the bed, pulling up a chair that was set in the corner of the room. He sat there for a few minutes before there was a knock at the door. Issei turned to it and called “come in.” It was the same doctor from before, the long white haired man, though his hair was done up in a bun. As he approached, the girl could better make out his eye color, which was an odd yellow. Quite beautiful, although he seemed a bit more intimidating than Issei. He held what seemed like a first aid kit and a clipboard.

His gaze was set gently upon hers before he turned to Issei, who had moved from the chair so Mr. Sasaki could sit down. Issei sat beside the girl, though not too close. “Alrighty, hello there miss, my name is Mr. Sasaki. I’m a doctor here.” He’d point to his ID, hanging from his hospital scrubs, which showed his picture, a few notes, and his full name Oosaka I. Sasaki. The girl eyed him with a nervous gaze but solemnly nodded. “I really like your hair. Now, I’m going to do some small things to see how your health is. Is that ok with you?” She turned to Issei, as if to ask his opinion, to which he nodded. So she also nodded. “Great! First things first, may I see your left arm?” The arm that the needle has been yanked out of, the one that was still leaking red. Extending her arm, Mr. Sasaki turned over her arm, so the forearm was upright.

Issei and Mr. Saksaki both jumped at the disrupting sight before them. Carved, with presumably a knife or bladed weapon, was the word “WORTHLESS.” In big capital letters spanning the length of her entire forearm, ending at her wrist. The wound had healed into a large scar, however had been fresh when she’d been taken in by the hospital five months ago. Neither of them commented on it, best not to upset the patient. Issei tried to hide the great look of concern he was producing, stay calm, he didn’t want his fear to rub off on her. Mr. Sasaki, ignoring the shocker, began by opening the first aid kit he’d brought in, taking a roll of bandages from it. “Does your arm hurt here?” He asked while pointing at her wrist, she shrugged. “A little.”

“I’ll be careful then! I like your fox, what's its name?” This question distracted her, as she had to think, while he wrapped the bandages. By the time she’d come up with an answer Mr. Sasaki had finished. “Aka. I really like red… I think?” Both men smiled at this. Issei’s worried face was beginning to fade, at least she remembered something. Issei chimed in, “that's a wonderful name. I know you don’t know yours, but is there another name we could call you?” She looked around the room, in the basket beside the bed was a bouquet of crimson roses, placed in a vase. “Akaibara, the flowers… so pretty!” Mr. Sasaki nodded in agreement and Issei asked “Bara for short then?” The girl nodded. “Well Bara,” Mr. Sasaki continued “shall we keep going with this check up?” Bara nodded, her fear subsiding a bit more.

After Mr. Sasaki had finished with checking her vitals, testing her movements, which were still weak, and checking her eyes and ears, he asked Issei to talk to him outside. Issei agreed but before stepping out, as Bara was rather nervous to be left, he handed her a book. “I’ll be right back, promise!” Though she was unsure she let him leave, bringing the hospital blanket over herself.

As Issei stepped out, closing the door behind him, a large exhaule could be heard from both men collectively. Mr. Sasaki turned to Issei “I don’t know how you do it, but that went rather well.”

“Well Oosaka, it's not as difficult as you might think. Besides the point, that scar on her arm. It's so deep, it's never gonna disappear.” Oosaka shook his head, clearly bothered by the idea. “You’re right. It won’t. It was worse when they found her.”

“Found her? I glanced at the file case, but in all honesty I never got to read up on it. The oddity of this case stuck in my mind however because of all the dead ends.” Oosaka pulled Issei over to a sitting area, at the end of the hospital hallway. The men's tones were hushed so as to not disturb the other rooms.

“I was required to read it because they placed me as her doctor while staying here. In all honesty I’m still surprised she came to and with such liveliness no less.”

“Yes I was also quite confused, I’ve never seen a patient spring from a bed before.” Oosaka chuckled in light of the situation. “It fits her case, surprises and action.” Issei nodded before requesting “could you sum up the case for me? I know I’m not specifically placed on her case but it might help me explain some of her behavior.”

“Do you want to be on her case?”

“What? Why do you ask?”

“Well normally I wouldn’t be able to tell you, but if you want to be involved consider yourself involved. We’re friends Issei, I trust you. I only ask because I don’t know how much time she will require, or if you’re free.”

Issei thought for a moment, his heart ached knowing someone so young, so sweet, so pure, needed clear help. He wanted to understand what she was going through, he was planning on taking time off work, for a personal matter, but that could wait. “I’m free. Lay it on me.” Oosaka’s serious gaze turned soft, smiling a bit, but turned back just as quickly to his business face. “Actually, if I’m going to get you on board with this, maybe we should grab that file. Let's head to the office-” he stopped talking, a clock placed on the wall read 9:00pm. “Actually, don't you have to clock out soon?” Issei looked up at the clock as well for confirmation. He was invested in this case and shrugged. “It's fine, consider this free time. But first, I want to make sure Bara is ok.” Oosaka nodded “meet me at the front desk when you’re finished.”

Issei headed back into the room, giving Bara a good scare as he did this. She was hidden under the covers of the bed, the book open, reading. He made his way over to the bed’s side. “Bara, it's getting late, after such an eventful day you need to get some rest.” She looked up at him with a hint of a sad gleam. He gave her a little smirk before taking the book from her, placing it back in the basket.

“I know it's scary here, but you won’t be alone, you have Aka.” Bara looked at the stuffed animal then back at him, shaking her head. “I’ll be back tomorrow I promise!” Issei then proceeded to tuck Bara in, fluffing up her pillows a bit. She nestled in holding Aka close, but before he was about to walk away, she grabbed his hand, halting any movement. “C…could I have a hug?” This sudden ask of attention was a stark contrast to earlier and yet again surprised Issei. He could only smile, before wrapping his arms around Bara in a gentle hug. “Goodnight Bara, sleep well.” Issei turned off the lights, shutting the door quietly behind him, then locking it. As he made his way down the hospital halls, he couldn’t help but feel a pit in his stomach. This young girl, the carving, the coma, what had he gotten himself into?

The office was located near the front of the hospital, behind the reception desk. There was a door that led to a comfy hallway, where various offices and storage rooms lined. The walls were just as bleakly colored as the rest of the hospital, but various employee portraits made up for the blankness of the walls. The offices were no longer the hussle and bussle they usually were, only the night shift workers lurked about. Issei made his way down the hall, turning to the second door to the right, one of two file rooms, where important copies of patient medical records, bills, and employee details were kept in filing cabinets.

He turned the door handle, the door opened inward revealing the organized chaos of the room. In the center was a table and a set of chairs, against the wall was a whiteboard, markers scattering the rim of it. The rest of the room was storage, filing cabinets, boxes and chests. Although most of the papers were put away, a few loose ends were thrown about carelessly. The blinding white hospital lights were turned off. Instead a warm colored lamp shade sat in the corner, illuminating the room dimly. Oosaka was sitting in one of the chairs, his hands grasped together staring down at a file folder that was opened, its contents spilling out across the table. He seemed deep in thought, but hearing the door open, glanced upward after a moment.

“Come! Sit.” He motioned for the chair that sat directly across from his own. Shutting the door, Issei took a seat, studying Oosaka’s face for any hint of what he should be prepared for. As always, the man’s face was serious, he always took work seriously. Staring down at the files once more, as if to determine what to say first, he began with a warning. “Issei, before I get into the story, I want to make you aware that the cops are still trying to locate who exactly she is. They are close but it's still an open ended case, keep that in mind.” Issei nodded “that's one of the reasons this intrigues me so much, the mystery.”

“Right, well this case isn’t peculiar by the fact she's a jane joe, that's common. It's the injuries she was found with, arguably more disturbing, that make this case all the more concerning. I’ll give you the run down before I show any pictures as they are rather graphic.” Issei raised a browl before inquiring “pictures?”

“As it stands, with the amount of injuries and the place she was found, the cops think it may have been attempted manslauter or murder.”

“A child?”

“Sadly yes.”

“I see. Well please go on, tell me what I’ve gotten myself into.” Oosaka nodded solemnly before sliding a police report over to Issei from the scattered pile of papers. “This is the officer's account of the incident.” Reading through the report, Issei scanned over the general information, before his eyes landed on the description of the incident. He stopped dead at “several severe injuries,” a hint of curiosity and then the slow, horrified feeling creeped in as he read the list.


“Several severe injuries including the following: two gunshot wounds (LOCATION: Left leg & ribs), a silt mark across throat, a large carving across the left forearm, and clear head lacerations (cause unknown).”


He audibly gasped. Oosaka watched his reaction, letting Issei take in what was present in the report. When he was sure Issei had finished reading he asked, in a rather unsure tone “do you want to see the images?” Issei seemed to tighten his grip around the paper “who could do this to a child?” Oosaka sighed “I thought you would be able to handle this Issei. With your line of work with trauma patients.”

“I can, I just never outwardly express how I feel. But I’m with you Oosaka, my friend. So I feel more comfortable. Show me the pictures.” Under the papers, was an envelope which slid Issei’s way. Place across the top was a sticker with bold black letters that read “sensitive contents.” He carefully unsealed the top, eyeing each of the pictures. The pictures contained Bara’s injuries, each very graphic, but the carving diserped him the most. Working in a hospital you learned to deal with wounds of all kinds, especially ones where weapons were involved. But leaving a permanent mark, writing across a person’s body disgusted him. Oosaka was right, the carving had been worse when they saved her. Blood practically poured from the open gash, as if the skin had been rolled back revealing the interior. After just a few seconds, he could no longer look, not because of the graphics of it, but the sheer fact it had happened to that sweet little girl he’d become friends with. The poor kid who couldn’t have been able to do anything to stop it. A defenseless child. He couldn’t tell whether her not remembering was a terrible thing or a blessing. At Least now she wouldn’t have to relieve that pain, that anguish. He slid the pictures back in the envelope and handed it, as well as the report back to Oosaka.

“Does this mean after five months they still don’t know who did this?” Oosaka shook his head “unfortunately no. However, now that our patient is awake, we might get some answers.”

“She does even remember her name. What good will that do?” Oosaka shook his head, before handing him another paper. This one was a consent forum, as Issei read it, Oosaka explained “we can have her consent to a DNA test once she's in a better state.” He’d forgotten this was an option, a very successful one at that. Under a coma she couldn’t agree to it therefore the hospital wasn’t allowed to perform it. Usually under such a case, things that needed consent could be accepted if a parental figure gave the ok, but seeing as they didn’t have that option, the case was at a standstill, until now.

“That's wonderful, maybe then we can find this girl's parents and she can go home. Of course when she's ready.” Oosaka sighed. “I’m afraid she won’t regain her memories, her parents will be quite heartbroken.”

“Perhaps. But it's better than them thinking she's missing or even dead.”

“That is true.”

“In anycase, can I still hear the recount from you? Did the officer not speak of the incident in more detail to you?”

“He did.”

“I want to know as much about this as possible.” The sound of papers shuffling about echoed against the quiet nature of the dim room once more. Oosaka did not hand any more papers to Issei, he just stared at them for a moment as if recapping what he had already read before. After which he looked up “I’ll explain to you based on what I’ve read and heard about the case. Nothing in concrete except for the wounds that were inflicted on her. So some of what I’m going to tell you is speculation.”

“That's fine. I just want more than basic police report information to go off of.” Oosaka nodded, clearing his throat, like one might do before retelling the great fairy tale stories that have been passed down. But this case was no fairytale, it was a living nightmare.

“The officer that was first on the scene, Ichiro, had gotten a 110 dispatch. A good samaritan spotted her. He said the first thing he saw was the trail of blood, as if a hunter had dragged a deer. The freshness of the blood, thankfully meant it had happened in the last few hours. Luckily, otherwise from my medical standpoint she would have been dead before arriving here. Anyways, he said she was hidden. Whoever had done this was at least making some attempt to hide it. That still doesn’t rule out a case of manslaughter though, people do crazy things out of fear.” Issei interrupted.

“That is true I suppose… but if she was still alive why didn’t they get her help?”

“Again fear makes people do crazy things, I mean if it were me I wouldn’t be thinking all that rationally.” Issei nodded, letting Oosaka continue the account.

“Officer Ichiro described that a dumpster and a few crates were covering her up. I believe he had to dig her out partly to see the extent of her wounds. After which several other officers arrived. He tried to stop the bleeding, which actually may have been another factor in her life being saved. Luckily our emergency personnel were fast enough to arrive and bring her here. But as you have seen, the damage was so extensive the coma was needed.”

“Did he describe his reaction to her state at all?” Oosaka shrugged, seeming to try to remember. “Well the officers see a lot of action all the time, but I think he talked about how unusual a carving was, especially on a child. You usually see those on gang members and such. Ichiro did describe the wound as being too bloodied and swollen to make out exactly what was carved. Not that it's all that surprising considering whoever carved it most likely didn’t do it with sanitary and sterile equipment.”

“Yeah. I’d have to agree with you there. I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to play into this case. Have any thoughts?” Oosaka let out a light chuckle, which made Issei turn his head slightly confused. There was nothing funny about this entire incident, was it a pity laugh? An uncomfortable laugh? Or did he seriously find it funny? “What?”

“Sorry sorry, I thought you were kidding. Issei you’re a psychologist, you know better than I do, even if she doesn’t remember anything now, the trauma will most certainly still be present. Even if not directly, something might trigger her because deep down her brain remembers right?” Issei sighed, it’d been a long day, he knew that, he did.

“Still interested in coming on board right?”

“Of course, after hearing the details it makes me even more inclined to do so.” A large smile spread across the serious face Oosaka had been holding throughout the conversation. “I knew you would be my friend. Now, I can give you specifics another time, it's already half an hour past when you should have clocked out. Go get some rest.”

“I will thank you Oosaka.” Issei stood from the chair and made his way over to the door, watching Oosaka for a moment who collected the files back into the folder. The eerie pictures of those injuries were still clearly visible and he knew it would haunt him for a while. He gave Oosaka a wave before exiting the filing room. Issei made his way over to one of the offices, another room a few doors down, to pick up the personal belongings he had kept reserved safely, car keys, a phone, a wallet, and a fluffy jacket. The room had cubbies for staff, though not every staff member needed them. Issei placed all his items in the jacket’s pocket before sliding his arms through the sleeves. Closing the office door behind him and walking down out to the parking lot.

Issei turned for a moment, staring at the blinding white lights of the hospital and its large red illuminating letters “Sakabe International Clinic” with the universal health cross following it. The brightness of the hospital contrasted with the rest of the city which was beginning to wind down for the night, dark. A puff of air came from his nose, becoming visible for a moment. Tomorrow, he thought, a new day to make a difference, even if it just made that little red head less scared. Issei moseyed over towards his car, keys in hand, a thought brewing. What kind of monster could do that to a child?





Chapter 2




Tickled by the rays yet again, but these were fully cold, white, like the bleakness of the hospital. A gentle pour enshrouded the city of Kyoto. Tapping against the window as if to beckon those inside. The peaceful sound was also what she was greeted with. Blue in feeling, yet it had a certain atmosphere about it. It woke people kinder than the blaze of warm color on sunny days. Bara could not remember if she’d liked the rain before, but now in that moment as she sat up, enjoying it with all the senses she could muster, she did love it. They had said to rest, but the alluring rain called forth. She pulled off the sticky wire she was attached to once again and made her way over to the large window. The weakness of her body pulled yet she persevered. A strong sense to experience this with all of herself, nipped at her mind. But though she looked around, there was no way of opening up the window. Soundly dismaying her, letting the weakness become a strong yank, she collapsed, her arms landing hard, crossed, against the window. Bara yelped in pain, but quickly left the shock behind her. Placing her head between the crossed arms, staring out at the cloudy city.

When Issei had arrived as he had promised, his first reaction was to rush over to Bara. However the calm, relaxed look on her face made him think better of it. She must have not heard the door open, so Issei exited the room. Thinking to give her a bit of time to enjoy whatever it was that had changed her feared behavior from yesterday. He conversed with coworkers to fill the time and finished signing a few papers before making his way back. He knocked before entering and to his surprise he found, though she was now eyeing him, she hadn’t moved. Issei closed the door behind him. “May I sit next to you Bara?” She gave a slight nod before turning back to the window. He sat criss crossed beside her, looking outward to figure out what exactly had garnered her attention. But as he gazed outward, there was nothing out of the ordinary in sight, just another boring, Kyoto rainy day. Cloudy and cold like most of the year. Bitter even.

“What are you looking at?” She turned her gaze to face him for a second. “The rain.”

“The rain? Why? It rains most days.” He questioned.

“Don’t know. It's just nice. I don’t know about before time, but I really like it now. It's beautiful. It makes me happy.” She turned back to watch the rainfall once more. Issei couldn’t help but muster a smile, she was so pure, even people her age had been rotted by the world. He liked that about children, they saw the beauty in things, that to older people were normal. The original wonder of something, was innocent, because there was no opinion, no bias about it, what they saw was what it was.

They sat there for a long while, watching the rain. Occasionally they would converse, these small conversations were better than longer ones he’d had with other people. You didn’t need to say a lot to get across your feelings. What you wanted to say could be summed up in a word, and that word could be more impactful than 1000. “I wish I could go out there and feel it.” She blurted out after they’d not spoken for a while. “Yeah, I wish you could as well, once you get better, I’m sure you can.” She smiled slightly “ok. I will wait.”



Wait. That was what this story was. This case of how she had to wait to wake up, wait for her memories, wait to get better, wait to get justice. Even if that justice meant nothing to her, to Issei, it meant a lot. Especially after two weeks of assuring and bonding with a girl who had so much love despite the fear and pain she was in. All the challenges, hidden beneath, far beyond her physical state. He knew somewhat of what they were, it was his job, but the feeling, how exactly it felt he could never fathom. The last two weeks, he’d learned about her. Not of memories she had of her old life, but the personality that held strong. Her favorite color? Red. Her favorite animal? A fox, but he suspected that was because of Aka, the plush toy. Her favorite flower? Roses, though she didn’t explain why. All of these things made up her, even if her experiences of the world had fayed away. All of these things were from a yesterday world, shattered, yet she could recall some pieces that had not yet been shattered indefinitely. That was the hope, the person she once was, may have been gone, but Issei felt, the purest part of it was still there. The core heart, soul, of Bara.

“What do you think about today? It's been two weeks. Her condition is steadily improving.” Oosaka asked during Issei and his lunch break. “I think she wouldn’t mind. From the times we’ve talked, she expressed wanting to do normal things. Like feel the rain.” Oosaka smiled “thanks Issei. You really made a difference. I really believe you spending time with her really helped not only the mental aspect but physical condition as well.”

“They are connected, it's quite surprising how much so.” Oosaka got up before throwing away the trash in a bin that was sitting beside the wall of the staff break room. “I’ve got some duties to take care of. Then I’ll call you on the ratio when I can administer the test.”

“Sounds good, see you then.

Issei sat at the edge of Bara’s bed, as she wrote another one of her cute little poems. She’d dug out a small journal and pen from the gift basket and kept writing them. Poems about all sorts of things, the rain, Aka, the outside and had even written one for Issei, but she told him he couldn’t read it just yet because it wasn’t done. “Bara?” She looked up smiling “yes Issei?”

“Today Oosaka is going to visit. He’s gonna give you a little test.” Her smile turned into a frown.

“I promise the test isn’t hard! In fact all he’s gonna have you do is swap the inside of your mouth. Like when you clean your ears.” She tilted her head confused, a hint of questioning ticking inside her mind. “What will that do?”

“Have you heard of a dna test?”

“I think so, it helps you find out where you’re from?” Issei chuckled a bit. Brushing her hair with his hand in a friendly manner, before raising his pointer finger up. “Right! But it does a lot more than that. It’s gonna tell us who you’re related to and then we can get you out of her in no time!” Bara sat up excitedly, her eyes glowing. “Really? Wow that's so cool hehe!” A little giggle welled up as she spoke. “Yup! He’ll be here later. Until then what should we do?” Her lips curled, her cheeks puffed out, browls furled, while a “hmmm” escaped her lips. The cute little frustrated yet thinking face kids hold. “Will you keep reading the book?” The book she was referring to was about a boy who traveled the world in search of his family. But it was no normal boy, he could fly, he had big beautiful bird wings that took him wherever he wanted to go. It was titled simply “Blue Jay sorrows.” That gift basket had been Bara’s sole source of entertainment. And this book had been her escape, which Issei had read to her for the past week and a half before bed. Bara tried to copy him, though her reading was sloppy, it seemed difficult for her. Yet the attitude she played while attempting her best to read outloud was exciting and positive.

“Alright we’ll read that one.”

When Oosaka arrived he found Bara peering at the book, huddled against Issei. His voice was grand, he told stories like an old grandfather, with passion. Oosaka caught Issei’s gaze, waving. Issei finished the page he was on and whispered something to Bara. She turned, delighted at Oosaka’s presence. Issei stood up, stretching, before placing the book on the stand beside the bed. “Hello Bara. I’ll only be here for a short while, don't worry.”

“Issei told me!”

“Oh? He did now?” He gave her a warm grimace, pulling up a chair beside the bed. He carried a small case, which he set on the bed opening it. The contents contained a few vials with cotton swabs.

“I’m guessing he already explained how this works as well?” She nodded entusesasticly.

“Perfect! I might have to do more than one, just for better test results.” Oosaka gripped her jaw gently, Issei placing a hand on her shoulder for comfort. “Say ah!”

“Ahhh!” He swapped the inside of her mouth, both sides, three times. She seemed to jerk back, almost laughing, as it tickled her. Oosaka placed each of the three swabs into the vial and closed up the case. “Alright! That's all. I’ll be taking my leave.” Bara waved as Oosaka exited. Issei sat down beside her once again, fluffing the top of her head. “Great job kid! I saw that laugh, it feels funny right?”

“Yah! It's a nice funny though.”

“It's gonna take a few days, so be patient.”

“I will!”


Dumbfounded. Maybe he needed his glasses? Gripping them in his right hand, Oosaka slid them on, peering at the results. These results gave him two things, one her identity, which was great, no longer a Jane doe. But two, it gave him her relatives, her parents, her siblings, her grandparents, her aunts and… uncle. Uncle, that name couldn’t be right? Right? Jin Kuroki. A different Jin Kuroki? Surely not the man he’d grown up with since elementary? His best friend who he’d gone to college with? He would have known if he had a niece, Jin would have known. But the more he stared, the more he could not deny the fact, she was related to him. This was wonderful news and her parents were, Rene and Dai. He remembered Jin confessing feelings but it was his brother Dai who’d gotten the girl in the end. Rene. Now that he thought back to Bara’s look, he thought himself a bit stupid for not seeing the resemblence sooner. Though it had been years since he’d seen either Dai or Rene, he often talked to Jin. Oosaka snapped back to attention when he realized he’d only discovered one part of the puzzle. This girl who Issei and he had come to call as Bara was not actually called that. He rummaged through the papers till he found a legal document describing some basic information about her. Though she was in the hospital's custody they weren’t allowed all the information. But one piece they allowed them to view was “test concludes results match Okemia Rene Kuroki.” The name Bara wasn’t even close, it made him chuckle. He called in Issei to take a look and they both exchanged glances after Oosaka explained how well he knew Jin, her uncle.

“This is beyond wonderful! I know you’re busy so I’ll ask the case worker who's managing this if they’ve gotten in contact with her parents.”

“Sounds like a plan, I feel like I should be the one to inform Jin. I know it's not exactly my place, as a doctor, but as a friend he should know.”

“He doesn’t know?”

“Unless he necklecked to share the grand news that he became an uncle with me, then no.”

“I see. Well, do that whenever you get a chance. If you can, tell me how that goes.”

“I will.”

Issei asked for her file, which Oosaka gladly handed him. He gave Oosaka a gentle pat on the back, walking out of his office. Although Issei had assumed work loads piled this doctor's schedule, which was most often the case, he couldn’t stop thinking about this news. Nothing was more important than this. No visits from patients either, just paperwork he should be getting done. Not that he could with this rushing through his head. He sighed, picking up the cellphone that was buried deep in a jacket that hung from the chair he sat at. He hesitated for a moment, Jin needed to know, yet he feared what shock might do to his friend. Shaking off the nervousness of the call, he dialed the number. It rang for a few moments before a cheerful voice exclaimed. “Oosaka? Hey!”

“Hello Jin.”

“Wait, isn’t this your usual work hours?”

“It is, infact, I’m calling you on something work related.”

“Work related? Alright, what's up?”

“Well I-” Oosaka stammered his words for a moment before gaining composure. If Jin noticed he did not point this fact out. Instead he listened intently. Oosaka mustered his best professional tone, Jin was his friend but this was more than a friendly talk between childhood buddies.

“I’ve been working with the police here in Kyoto on a case. An unknown person's case. She was in a coma for five months and only awoke a few weeks ago. After administering a DNA test, it told us not only who she was but well, who she's related to.” Jin interrupted with a baffled “wait what-?”

“Well Jin, after taking a look at the results of that test, it seems one of the relatives of this girl is you. Uncle to be exact.”

Jin didn’t reply for a moment. Oosaka could only imagine what Jin was thinking about the entire thing, finally he replied. “Oosaka… is she Ren and Dai’s child?” His voice sounded hopeful, as if he did not wish it was his brother’s. Jin had always told Oosaka of how Dai had treated him as a child, cruelly, after a childhood moment of pure anguish. But he had explained Dai did not fear the moment, he lavished it. Lavished being held at gunpoint by some robbers, who ended up firing guns too close to Jin and Dai’s mother and she’d lost her hearing. He enjoyed that. Oosaka knew deep down Jin was hoping for something else, but he couldn’t give him what he wanted. “It is.” His voice immediately shifted, as if defeated, yet still his voice held a hint of happiness. “Alright.”

“I know you haven’t been in contact with them for a long time, my coworker is currently attempting to get into contact. I can’t just invite you to meet her unless the parents agree, I’m sorry.”

“It's fine. Just update me?”

“Of course, Jin?”

“Yes?”

“Take some time to process this ok? Don’t start overthinking.”

“Sure Oosaka.”

“Call you later.”

“Cya.” Oosaka hung up the phone, laying back in his chair, who knew such a short conversation could be so emotional and tense. He worried what might come of this, but hoped for Jin’s sake it worked out. The man had been alone for far too long, maybe reconnecting with his family would save him.


The ID, hooked to the collar of her white blouse read, Mayumi Chinen. Issei sat in a chair in front of her office desk. It reminded him of a stereotypical office interview job scene. Her hands were folded together, chin perched on top of them, as she scanned over various papers scattered about. Mayumi’s gaze was mainly on the new information Issei had provided, Okemia’s relatives. Issei inquarided, quite confused “I thought you already looked over the information ahead of time?”

“I did.” She looked up. “I’m just confirming names. I attempted to get in contact with the parents, but it was unsuccessful.”

“Unsuccessful?”

“That's not all. I had one of the investigators take a look into police and government records on Okemia. Where I found, there have been two welfare checks on her, although the evidence of course wasn’t life threatening so they didn’t remove her.”

“Reports? May I see them?”

“Unfortunately you don’t have the proper credentials to view them, but I’ll sum it up for you.” Issei nodded, his hands folding in his lap, leaning forward with a strong intent.

“You see, they found the father in particular had an alcohol problem, although the child had pretty bad marks left, they could not determine the cause. Because they had no evidence to prove, even with the unpredictability of alcohol intake, that the father inflicted the bruises and scars. Furthermore, they did ask the child but it said in the report something like, she was scared of investigators. And wouldn’t utter any more than a hello. The first report came from a concerned teacher at her school, who wrote that she came to school with a black eye and several hand marks, with no explanation as to how. The teacher also explained that this happened frequently, although she wasn’t sure why.” Issei stopped her.

“So if I’m getting at what I think you are, was there abuse going on?”

“I am only stating the facts, though looking at the entirety of the situation it would seem that way.”

“You said there was a second report?”

“It was from a coworker of her mother, who had come over for dinner and noticed the odd behavior of both Rene and Okemia.”

“Any specifics?”

“This report had even less evidence than the first. He made it based on a gut feeling. Said the atmosphere of the home just didn’t sit right with him.” She’d wave around one of the papers, fidgeting.

“I see. Am I allowed to ask how the case is going to proceed? Seeing as you haven’t been able to contact the parents?”

“Well, I’ll keep trying to get into contact with them. I had the same detective who found the welfare check reports looking for addresses and other information on the parents. We can send an officer to them to make them aware if needed.” Issei leaned back, seemingly frustrated. Mayumi noticed, sitting up as well, watching him. From his demeanor he was anxious, as was she, any case involving a child was worrying some, especially with a case where the child was in jeopardy of dying at one point. She tried to give him a warm smile to chase the sour thoughts out, but he was too wrapped up in thought to pay her any mind. Finally he replied “so we’re just gonna give this poor kid to possible child abusers?” So that's what had seemed to plague the man’s thoughts.

“It's more complicated I assure you. Especially after the incident in that alley way. We’re only trying to contact them to get answers.”

“I see.” The cord phone that sat at the top left corner of her desk began to ring, vibrating its surroundings. “One moment.” Issei gave a nod and Mayumi picked up the phone, bracing it with her shoulder, as she leaned into it slightly. “Hello?” There was a silence before she spoke again “yes please do, see you in a moment.” Issei raised an eyebrow, which was accompanied by the audible noise of the office door squeaking. A well dressed gentleman in a casual suit held yet another file at his side. He sat it at the desk, bowing to Mayumi, before taking his leave as swiftly as he came.

“What’s that?” Issei motioned towards the file.

“Our answer.” She opened it up, grasping the paper between her fingers. Her eyes went from a serious, questioning expression, to one disbelief.

‘That bad huh?” Without a word she handed him the paper, pointing out the sentence that had sparked the concern. All members of the Kuroki household are unaccounted for, as of February 5th 2019. Members include: Dai Kuroki, Rene Kuroki, Zeke Kuroki, and Okemia Kuroki.

“Unaccounted for? What does that mean?”

“They have all been reported as missing. All four of them. If you look at the date, it's three days after Okemia was discovered.”

“What now?”

“Until the police find out more there's not a lot we can do. As for that little girl, in cases like these they usually go to the closest available relative until further notice.” Issei placed the paper back on her desk. “Alright. This whole case, it's eerie. I could make all kinds of speculations.”

“As could I. But let's not trouble ourselves, I for one would like to sleep well tonight.” Issei let out a laugh, but it was cold and almost ingenious. “Yeah, good idea.”

“If that is all, I must see you out. I have another client coming soon. I’ll update you if there's any news regarding this case. Take care Mr. Yamada.” Issei stood, a bit weak in the legs from sitting so tense for so long. He shook out the nerves he’d collected, giving Mayumi a small bow. He’d nod, his last words before leaving “thank you.”



Chapter 3



With Issei’s absence, everything seemed quiet to her. Lonely even. No one came to visit but Issei and Oosaka. The only constant companion was the stuffed fox, Aka. But when they only interacted with you when you imagined it, the lonely feelings coldly crept in, at every moment you doubted the reality of it all. Even the book, about the blue jay boy, that she’d been reading for almost an hour by herself, which she found she was proud of doing, wouldn’t keep her free for long. Books do take you out of your world, but with every outside noise, the change in the sunlight, all of it distracted her, letting the loneliness seed further.

Maybe if she had remembered what came before the blank walls, she could hold those memories close, they could be the fire to burn out the weeds of loneliness. But there was nothing to hold. It was the true type of loneliness, not the crushing type, or being surrounded by people but feeling alone, but actually truly having nothing, no one, but these temporary people. Okemia may not have understood everything, she may have forgotten her memories, but she knew what doctors and psychologists do. How hospitals work. She’d be made to leave whenever they’d wasted enough supplies on her and she was proclaimed fixed. Where she would go, she wasn’t sure, but even with the short time she’d been here, this had become her whole world and it was going to disappear as soon as she’d gotten comfortable. That scared her, more than the day she woke up.

Despite what she wanted, deep down it was clear this choice was up to anyone but her. The future was uncertain, but she certainly knew she would, most likely, get no say in where she ended up. In the eyes of Japan, she was still a child. Okemia’s fist was clutched against the bed sheets, quivering with an angry frustrated face. It wasn’t fair, it just wasn’t. These last few weeks had helped her to regain her bearing, no longer was she as frail as helpless as before, mentally and physically she had recovered remarkably. Both Issei and Oosaka had said so. And yet, she felt like a flightless chick, unable to escape the nest. Except her parents had abandoned her, or had forgotten where the nest was. Luckily some other bird had found her and decided to take care of her and… the analogy no longer made any sense so she stopped thinking. Okemia sat up bringing her legs to her chest against the bed, head placed against her knees as a large sigh, meant to bring some relief, came and went, it didn’t help.

The thoughts kept piling making her wish that the feeling that coma had given her would return, the silence, the literal feeling of nothing. Anything to shut out the gawing words that cried of how she was well and truly lonely. Okemia threw the sheets forward, rushing upwards, which Issei had told her not to do, but the anxious feeling was too much for her to listen to, when in fact he was temporary anyway. Beside one of the walls was a set of chairs, the ones that Oosaka pulled up during visits. Because of the weakness of her legs, in order to move the chair, it acted as a stabilizer for her own standing. It was moved to the window, the only real means of escape, of which she longed to go past.

It overlooked high above the hospital parking lot. When no one was around, when the books in that basket were no longer interesting, she found solitude in watching the outside happenings. The people coming to and from the hospital, who all had their various reasons for being there. How some moved with wheels, crutches, a cast. All of these connecting to their own story, which she wished she could be in. Even to be a part of a story, because even if she did have one, she didn’t know what it was. Okemia watched lurking crows, soul searching for the treasure scraps of food. She couldn’t decide whether crows were brave & reckless, or just down right stupid. Because if a car rushed towards them, they wouldn’t fly at all, just casually hop as if their life hadn’t just been in danger. The boldness of the animals, how they kept testing, pushing boundaries, maybe she could do that as well.

Though she’d been told no, deep down the question always rested just below the surface. What if she left? Even if she was in the hospital's care, as Issei had claimed, what if she ignored the warning, leaving this place behind her. Of course, with nowhere to go, no way of living, it was a careless wish, she knew it was, but the desire for freedom was also strong. There was no way of distracting the thought either, at least not for long. Where was everyone? By everyone she really meant Issei but it sounded better and less alone to say everyone. As if everyone was more than one person, therefore a lot of people. But the amount of people, oftentimes, depending on loneliness didn’t really matter at all.

The weeks had become a mush, although she remembered some of it quite vividly. Which made sense as, with a mind empty of thoughts, the space was large. She could remember in detail because whatever mind space that kept those thoughts, was well and truly vacant.

All of these thoughts, these feelings she’d been holding onto, were deep down hiding, fearing. She didn’t dare share them, these foolish thoughts. She knew that was what Issei was there for, but she had come to see him as more of a friend than someone to pour out her heart to. It wasn’t that she was afraid of him being angry, he wouldn’t, it was just a scary thing in general to open your heart and leave it exposed for someone. She feared judgment above anger. For now, she’d keep these pains to herself.


Issei knocked on Oosaka’s office door, “you in?” There was a silence before he called “come in.” He turned the door knob, pushing it inward to find Oosaka enjoying his break. “Oh, I can come back later.”

“I’m like you Issei, my brakes hardly matter. Sit down.” Issei nodded before taking his claim on the other comfortable desk chair near Oosaka. He sighed, leaning backward, tired and hardly worrying about his posture. “What did the case worker have to offer?”

“A rabbit hole.”

“How deep is this rabbit hole?”

“Deep enough. She told me she’d tried getting into contact with the parents, unsuccessfully I might add. After which she requested one of the detectives to get some legal documents. Like the parent’s place of living. Unfortunately it seems, the reason she couldn’t contact them was because the entire family had been missing. It was reported three days after Okemia was brought here.”

“Missing? As in they just disappeared. Sounds like a closed case, they tried to murder that kid and left. Sick to think about but the most likely prediction.” Issei shook his head deeply upset at the thought. How could someone be so cruel to their own blood? What could they stand to gain from murdering a child except for jail time. “When you say the entire family, do you mean the parents and Okemia or were there more children?”

“Well Oosaka, there's another older child, a brother. What I can’t wrap my head around is if the other child is going to turn up dead or not.”

“It certainly is a possibility but let's not jump there quite yet.” Issei stopped for a moment trying to recollect his thoughts of what Mayumi had said.

“The uncle, did you call him?”

“Yes I did, and as I knew would happen, he was shocked.”

“The good kind or?”

“I don’t know.” Issei cupped his hands over his mouth and nose, letting an audible sigh escape. Osaka noticed the clear stress of his coworker before also sighing, more so at Issei than this case. “I know you are really invested in this, but maybe you should be less so? Take a break, take a few days off work to relax. You have plenty of vacation days that you never use.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Why?”

“Well I-” he stopped for a moment, he just couldn’t. It wouldn’t feel right to just disappear. It may not have been his job to play investigator but it was his job to keep that little girl happy. Little.

“She can’t be alone right now.”

“She already is. I’m sure she’ll be fine. It's not as if she's a toddler, she's a child yes, but quite old enough to entertain herself.”

“I know it's just-” Oosaka was right. These last few weeks had kept him on edge, on his toes. It was alright for a little while but the more he stayed alert the more exhausting the ordeal became. He felt bad leaving her alone, he knew she was safe, it just seemed wrong. But there's always the difficult choice people in his line of work have to make, friend or mental doctor. And you had to know when to give yourself the break because holding all those pains of his patients while trying to be their friend was a heavy burden. He needed to make the distinction between friend and patient.

“Fine. Just one day to clear my head.”

“Good, happy to hear it.”

“By the way, back on the topic while I am here. If the case isn’t solved by the time the hospital clears Bara, someone will need to take her. The case worker suggested a close relative. And seeing as you know her uncle I assume he’s a kind person. Do you think he’d take her? Just for the time being?”

“I would think so, but honestly I’d have to ask him.”

“Alright, when you get a chance please do.”

“I will, actually it's been quite some time since I last visited him. He lives in Karakura and my schedule has been so busy I haven’t had time.”

“Understandable. Since I’ll be gone tomorrow I’m going to spend some time talking to Bara. I’ll see you in a few days. Stay safe.” Oosake produced a smile, waving in his direction, clearly trying to rationalize this whole thing. Issei closed the door behind him, quietly. People shut doors differently, shutting doors conveyed people’s emotions, in both the literal and non literal sense. If you were angry you’d slam a physical door shut, if you were tired it would be quiet. Though non literal closing doors also conveyed one's thoughts. It showed what they wanted to get rid of within their mind and where they wanted to go next, opening the next door. Oosaka wondered what doors would close and what doors would open for this uncertain future.

He opened a door in the form of a text to Jin. It read, “there's a lot to talk about. What's a good day next week when you're free? Catching up would be nice too. Usual cafe?” He sent the text before sliding his phone into a back pants pocket. He’d knocked on the door, it was Jin’s choice to open it.


It was 7:00 pm when Issei finally appeared in Okemia’s hospital room. The sunset was faying to the purple dusk and the busy noises of the peak hours had begun to settle. But as the saying goes, hospitals never sleep. He shut the door with a sluggish motion. The tiredness was clearly getting to him. But despite that he knew he had to at least say good night. The question was, was he going to tell her about him taking a day off? Perhaps not, it would be rather difficult to leave if she took the news unwell. But would she also feel betrayed or abandoned? What risk was he willing to take?

But Issei found her already fast asleep in the bed. Odd it was quite early, although it made sense, it would take months, maybe even years to fully heal from the injuries she’d sustained. The notebook she’d write in constantly was open, face down on the bed beside her. Over the weeks she’d been there, she’d been writing all sorts of things, although she never shared them with him, all he knew was some of them were poems because she’d practice them outloud when she thought he wasn’t listening. And surprisingly they were well written, hinting at the fact perhaps it was a past passion of hers. Your mind doesn’t forget those types of things, the ones you work at to improve.

Issei picked it up, a urge welling up to read the journal. The words contained might even be useful to treating her, if it contained her feelings. Yet he knew it was a breach of privacy, even if just words written down. He couldn’t bring himself to do it, he’d finally gained this girl’s trust. Reading it wasn’t worth breaking that. Issei sighed slightly, gripping the book with a hand and shutting if closed, before gently setting it down in the gift basket. The blanket covering Okemia was starting to droop, soon it would slip completely off the bed. He turned bending down slightly to adjust it, noticing the peacefulness of her breath, this kid was always on edge, it was the uncertainty and eeriness of a hospital he assumed. He whispered more for himself than her “goodnight Bara.” He realized they hadn’t even shared the news that they found who she was with her. How selfish. Here he was trying to solve this entire thing without asking her what she wanted, he’d do it the day after tomorrow. Tomorrow, what do people usually do with days off anyways?


Okemia noticed something was off when lunch had already been served and Issei wasn’t around. In fact the thought of where he might be helped her get down the criminal mash she was being served on the daily. She didn’t remember what her school food tasted like, but this had to be worse than even that. But not eating wouldn’t help her leave any sooner. Not that she had made up her mind about whether it was better to leave or to stay. Again she didn’t get a choice, but if there was one, what would be better? It honestly depended on where the other option was. As much as it sucked being trapped within those blank walls day after day, it would be worse to end up somewhere unsafe or where people were unkind. She wanted a choice, but that choice would also be nearly impossible to choose. There wasn’t a good outcome to this either way, so what was the point in caring? Yet she did. The thoughts were conflicting so much it was beginning to give her a headache,

She gripped her hair which swooped around her face, grunting at the dizzy, thumping feeling. Okemia reached over to grab a bottle of water that sat on her bedside, downing a good portion. Time to think about something else before she had a heartache from thinking too many thoughts, if that was even possible. There had to be something else to do in this room. Writing, reading and thinking and eating. She was tired of all these things.

There was a TV, but she didn’t know how to work it. Perfect, a new problem to solve, at least it would be new. The remote was sat just below the tv stand, tinkering with the remote however offered no solution. The batteries were in the right way so that wasn’t the problem. Was the TV broken? Perhaps, but she wouldn’t know unless she exhausted all other options. Today was going to be a long day.

The TV wasn’t plugged in. After pressing random buttons for about ten minutes she inspected closer, the outlet was empty. At this point she was too tired to get angry, she just plugged it in. It turned on. It blared “the tiger is a solitary…” she turned it down just as quickly, jumping at the suddenness. An animal documentary. Sure. Maybe not that loud though.

Tigers, lions, elephants, horses, insects, all day. The same narrator talking in his stoic tone about the great animal kingdom. Of the dangers and beauty of creatures. It was better than doing nothing all day. Maybe even enjoyable at points, at the very least it made her forget her current condition, in a hospital, trapped, lonely. “Wonder what else the TV had in store,'' she thought to herself as she changed the channel. First it was a comedy show, then an anime, then a true crime, next thing she knew it was four hours before midnight. Issei hadn’t come, maybe this was how it was going to be. Things were changing, maybe he was tired of being around her so much.

That was until he showed himself the following morning, he carried a briefcase, silent until he pulled up a chair beside her. He seemed unsure of himself, nervous even as he opened the case pulling forth tons of paper documents. They made little sense to Okemia, not that she read them close enough to get the details. “Sorry about yesterday, I was going to tell you the night before but you were asleep.” She shrugged, ordinarily she would have cared but the TV had been her company in his absence. “It's fine.”

“Anyways. I need to tell you about what we found out so far.”

“Found out?”

“About you!”

“Oh.” Issei handed her a document from the stack and pointed to where it said “Full Name: Okemia Rene Kuroki.”

“That's your name, your real one.” She stared at it with surprise but seemed to smile a bit, it was a nice name. While Okemia grasped the paper looking it over, Issei scoured through the endless hill of other files, extracting a packet. He traded her, setting the name paper back in the pile. “This is your relatives, their names and a little bit of information about them. This is your mom and dad,” he said this while pointing to the names “Dai Kuroki & Rene Kuroki.” The name Dai and dad didn’t sound right together. “Dai is my dad?”

“Do you remember him!?” Issei said with an excited tone.

“No.” They didn’t sound right. But if she couldn’t even remember what anyone looked like then of course it didn’t sound right. But her mother’s name sounded right, Rene. The feeling she got from reading the names, could you have a bias towards a name you didn’t like? But how would she even know if she did like it?

“Why are you showing me this?” Issei gave Okemia a soft smile. “Because you have a right to know and it might help you get some closure. I know all this has been really overwhelming, so maybe getting an answer would help.”

“Thank you.” He wrapped his arms around her in a hug. “Don’t worry I am going to make sure whatever happens will make you feel like you again.” He did care, maybe he would care that she wanted to choose, maybe he’d even give her the choice. But did he have the power to make that choice? She didn’t know.

“Issei I-'' she stopped, thinking too much made her think out loud.

“What is it?”

“Nothing…”

“Okemia.” She felt a jolt in her stomach, her heart began to race, that name was hers, she knew it. It felt like hers, it was just hers and no one else's. It wasn’t their choice because they didn’t get a choice in this thing, this name that was totally hers. No one.

“I want a choice.”

“A choice?”

“A choice of where I get to go after here. I know right now I can’t leave, but when I can I want to choose where.” Issei seemed taken aback, not in a way of offense but this was surely not on the list of things he assumed she was worried about. He almost chuckled at how absurd yet how un-absurd it was, but he kept the laugh inward. Not only did he chuckle from the uncomfortableness of this statement, but he also felt a sharp pain claw at his heart. In the non literal way but it still felt like a physical pain. He didn’t even get that choice, it was up to the hospital and the government. “I promise I will try my hardest to make sure you get a choice.” Issei knew promising she would get one would only bring more anguish. He would try his hardest but he feared that wouldn’t be even close to enough. The hope that it would all work out was his only solid evidence in her choice, and yet it felt like things might just work out.



Chapter 4



“Sunday. Usual Cafe. 3:00pm.” That was Jin’s reply. Oosaka wasn’t aware just how much he’d missed his best friend. It had been nearly a year. With their work, Oosaka a doctor, and Jin a reporter, there wasn’t much room for downtime. The idea had totally slipped his mind, which gave off a feeling of guilt. Sure Jin would understand but he should have made more time. This wasn’t even originally a friend to friend meeting either, he was there to discuss a patient. Although it was a doctor-patient appointment, it wasn’t as formal. It had become personal the moment he found out that girl was his best friend, no, brother’s niece. He wanted it to surprise him, the fact Dai and Rene had kept this child a secret from Jin and to some degree it did, with Rene it surprised him, with Dai it didn’t. From Oosaka’s encounters, Dai seemed like the easily angered type who needed to control everything. Jin didn’t deserve a brother like that one.

Oosaka drove through the Karakura tunnel, it was an hour or so away from Kyoto. It had been some time since he’d been there. Sometimes Oosaka wondered how he could stand such a crime ridden city, college here was rough. Not the school itself but the dangerous community. The teenagers seemed to run the streets and the cops didn’t do enough to keep them in check.

The shopping district. Where all the major shops and restaurants were located. There were also penthouses in the back and apartment blocks scattered throughout the entire thing. There was a centerpiece, where cars could drive around. This centerpiece was a small park with a stage and a large central tree. There were three exits, two were car accessible and one a trail which led to the forest.

It was larger than he’d remembered it to be. He parked his car in the front of the shopping district, the cafe he was heading to was deep inside, to the right. The entrance was a long strip of shops that ended with a large rectangle, which held the centerpiece and round about. Oosaka mosied down the way, a breeze taking him by surprise. A sudden nostalgia hit him, of college. Of all the friends, of all the good times. He walked at a comfortable stride, hands in his pocket, observing the quiet nature of the shops. Looking for perhaps what had changed and what still remained in an ever moving city. A smile blatantly held across his face. Oosaka made a right turn, one thing never changed, that little cafe in the corner of the district. He approached the doors, pushing them open, a little bell ringing above him.

A little counter stand with stools stood on the right of the cafe, with chairs and tables to the left. The theme was floral, table cloths made of colorful prints, a vase of flowers placed in the middle. There was an entry behind the counters, where the baked goods were made. The large windows at the front of the cafe let the sunlight shine in, almost placing a filter of tan yellow over the entire outlook of the place. It had a homely, cozy feel, which to Oosaka was even more so because of the countless times after school Jin and him had come here. Choosing the same old lemonade and apple pie. Last he’d heard the kind old woman he’d come to know and love, who owned the shop, had passed a few months back. It was bitter sweet, but her presence was still very much alive within the shop.

Oosaka took a few moments to breathe in the cafe before he turned to see Jin waving at him, in their spot, a window seat. He gave Jin a large smile before making his way over “brother!” Oosaka exclaimed. They embraced each other in that type of strong yet meaningful way best friends do. “It's so nice to see you!” Jin replied. “I see your hair is as long as ever.”

“And yours is still a little nub!” Oosaka chuckled, sitting down beside him. “Is not!”

“Sure.” It was long and drawn out, an obvious sarcastic tone.

“Did someone finally learn how to not be serious?”

“Oh shush Jin! I am serious because I need to be.”

“Sure.” He mocked. They both had a long chuckle. Before ordering. The brotherly mood quickly shifted. “You know, you should have given me more context as to why you wanted me to come.”

“Well I believed saying- or rather asking this was more of a inperson type of thing. Since it's personal to you.” Jin leaned upward, his joking tone rapidly fading.

“Oh? This has to do with what you told me right? About my erm- niece. Even saying that sounds crazy.”

“I know it's a lot and it's about to get a lot crazier.”

“Don’t tell me there's another child!” He was joking, trying to lighten the mood.

“Well actually-” Jin interrupted “WAIT- I was joking… there's another?”

“Yes. That's the least of the worries, unfortunately.”

“Well lay them on me.” Oosaka took a deep breath. This was going to be heavy and Jin was going to play it off as everythings fine but Oosaka knew it was going to hurt him.

“Jin. I need you to promise you will give me a genuine answer.”

“I will, promise.”

“I’ll just come right out and ask it, explanation after. Would you be willing to be Okemia, your niece’s temporary guardian?” For a moment Jin said nothing, his face turning all sorts of emotions neither of them knew what he felt. “Does that mean… Did my brother do something?”

“Well the case is currently ongoing. But with recent information it's anyone's guess. That being, the entire family is, well, missing. They found Okemia, but Dai, Rene, and the other child are gone.” Jin sat for another moment thinking it over. He folded his fingers, resting them on the table. He looked both angry and worried, fluctuating between the two. “When can I meet her?”

“What?”

“My niece, Okemia.” Oosaka gave him a wide grin, of course that was his answer, why had he doubted him. “Jin, you're being honest right?”

“Yes Oosaka, I am scared for my brother and Rene but if they’re missing, I can’t do anything to help. But I can take care of Rene’s child until then.” Oosaka noticed his lack of “Dai’s child” in the sentence.

“Thank you Jin.”

“Now stop with the serious face, let's discuss when I can meet her and maybe do some catching up. It's been a while you know.”


Oosaka gave Jin a wave as he meandered down the strait of the shopping district towards his car. The setting sun was to the right of him, slowly painting yellows and oranges across the sky. Oosaka’s shadow following next to him, hands still tucked away in pockets. A sudden relief came over him, maybe more breaks were in store. Where he’d go he knew not, but the fresh air of nostalgia was freeing him. As he made his way back to the car and opened the driver's door, he looked up at the sky the entire way, enjoying the sun. The tunnel out of Karakura loomed behind him as he drove away, the setting sun guiding his way back home. Two weeks, he’d see Jin again.


“The plot thickens.” Mayumi chuckled at Issei who looked anything but assumed.

“This just proves the man is guilty!”

“It very well may but without concrete evidence it's just speculation.”

“But common on! I think I know how this whole thing played out.” Mayumi raised a doubtful look. “Oh really? I think it's more complicated than you think but please share your theory.” Issei held a report in his hand, the top read Wakeru Divorce Company. He looked down at it, opened his mouth to speak then thought up a question. “Before I say, how exactly did you get your hands on this? I feel like a private divorce company wouldn’t just hand out consultants' documents.”

“I have my ways. You don’t become a caseworker without a couple tricks up your sleeves.” A concerning look overcame him but he pushed it away. “Alright my theory is, after Rene served Dai with divorce papers he killed her in spite and for some reason tried to kill the kid.”

“That sounds somewhat correct. Although there may have been other motives besides a divorce. And he may have done it for a reason other than spite.”

“Well that's what I am going with.”

“Alright. Speaking of parents, or I guess guardians. How did it go with her uncle? You said you asked him about it?”

“I didn’t ask, my coworker did. Because they are close friends, but yes. He said he wanted to meet her. Which I believe is happening tomorrow or the next day.” Mayumi grinced, her teeth bared as she exclaimed “great!” Issei nodded. Mayumi became serious once again. “Issei, I thought I should wait a bit seeing as everything is going smoothly but there's something I found out a few hours before you came. The case has been closed.” Issei narrowed his eyes. “Closed? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“It's just- the outcome is rather disheartening. And I didn’t want you to hear it from a text or have word reach that poor child just yet.” Issei sat back in a chair, seeing his heart starting to rise in pace. “That makes sense, can you tell me now?”

“Yes, since it's a public record now. The case was closed to the public. But still is ongoing in a way though it's hopeless to a point. There was a body found nearly three months ago, it had rooted pretty badly and results were slow to process as an autopsy had to be done to determine the person's cause of death. It was difficult because the body had been in rough shape, although was partly preserved from being buried. The cause of death was bleeding out, from some kind of weapon, a bladed weapon. This body belonged to Rene Kuroki, our kiddos mother.” Issei’s eyes went hazy, his mouth slightly agape. He said nothing as she explained, what could he say? “The weapon was buried with her, a katana. The Kuroki’s owned several of them in their home. The other children Zeke and Dai are still unaccounted for. But it's safe to assume from Dai’s violent record and the fingerprints they found on that blade-”

Issei knew what she was going to say, he knew it from the start but he didn’t want it to be true. “He killed her. Now some could say the mother tried to kill Okemia, but autopsy specialists claim her body was dead before Okemia’s incident. That's why the case is closed for now, of course they are still looking for Dai but they know who did it.”

“I- this is a lot.”

“I know. It's a complicated case. But at least we’re at an end. The remaining question I have is, would her uncle take Okemia full time?”

“Considering he hasn’t even met her yet, I don’t know. I need to let Oosaka know so he can forward the news to Jin. This may change things.” Mayumi nodded. “Do that. But when you’re done let's go out somewhere. The two of us.”

“Somewhere?”

“To dinner, you oblivious man. We both could use a break and I want to know more about you than just your work.” Issei wasn’t expecting this but gladly took up her offer. A dinner with Mayumi, a date.

He rang Oosaka, Issei could hear the audible sigh and tone change after the news. When he had concluded the explanation he added. “You need to make Jin aware. To see if he even wants to meet her. The case is closed and everything is uncertain. There’s no possibility he’d take her in full time right?” There was a light chuckle on the other end. “You’d be surprised. Once he has his mind set on something he’ll do it. He seemed all too excited to meet her. So I’d say there's a change. I don’t like tabooing things but I think he’ll say yes.”

“Well you know him better than me. See you later.” Issei hung up the phone, another break from the case, him and Mayumi.




Another slow day. What day was it even? There wasn’t a calendar in that hospital room to know. At Least there was a clock and windows so Okemia could tell the time. The words “I’ll try my best” resinated in her head for weeks. It was the hope she was clinging onto, which was not a good idea she knew because more than likely disappointment would be at the end of this journey. But there was nothing else getting her through the days, so maybe it was worth the inevitable pain that would follow. Still, how much longer would she be this bird, flightless. It was slowly making her feel more insane being cooped up. Watching the animals and people enjoying their freedom outside made her jealous. Even if they were slaves to life, society, atleast they weren’t stuck in the same room day in and day out. At the very least it was a couple rooms day in and day out. Which now that she thought harder about it, maybe variety wouldn’t make much of a difference.

It was still repetition, could a life like this be considered toture? Toture of the mind. Why did humans want to toture themselves for a fake success that didn’t matter when they died? Even if they left a legacy they wouldn’t be alive to see where it ended up. Society was just a thing enforcing human suffering, making everything the same and boring and sad. So screw it. When she got out she’d be the freest bird there was, she wouldn’t let someone hold her down for her entire life. Sure there were times you couldn’t choose, but your entire life didn’t have to be one big groundhog day. It could be diverse and beautiful. She would make the rest of her life beautiful to her, even if people saw it as ugly because she didn’t become the rich and famous person she was supposed to try to become, even though it was an impossible standard. No more caging. No more bars. She made her own path. Starting now. This hospital was only a phase, as all things are, she just had to endure it a little longer so she could feel the wind under her wings.

“I will fly forever and I will never settle on a branch for long. I make my own path, of which I choose for myself. The past, though I cannot remember, will not define who I am now. What I choose to be now. If I remember who I used to be, it will make no difference. Even if those pieces are recovered, my yesterday is the same as today. I will be a bird.” Okemia wrote this down in the journal, but it felt incomplete. So she wrote a poem.





Pieces of Yesterday,

Of which I cannot find,

Are uncertain yet I know,

They will never change my mind,

Of who I want to be,

Free to choose,

My destiny even though my past is lost amongst who’s,

My past self, a stranger to me,

I wonder what kinds of yesterday pieces are hiding underneath,

Yet still I shall not waver,

In this choice I have made,

To be something more than a cage bird who cannot escape,

I’m tired of loneliness where strangers make me pick,

What they think is best, I feel oh so sick,

Sick of all this anguish of who I want to be,

And what I used to think before I started to sink,

I am drowning in my thoughts,

Yet no one seems to care,

Will I be thrown my raft of life, a choice I can wear,

As my own, despite the pieces of yesterday before,

I was unaware.

Picking up the pieces,

I just sit and stare,

Wondering what I have left if not someone who cares.



Okemia finished writing the poem, titling it “Pieces of Yesterday.” One of her favorite ones she’d written thus far, in fact no it was her favorite. It expressed the feelings she couldn’t just come out and say, it was perfect in every single way. For poems aren’t fancy words but true thoughts that come from the heart. This was her heart being poured out on paper to express feelings. Her first way to become that bird and be free. No one could choose what she wanted to think, that was all her choice. And no one could silence her feelings. Those were her own too. The more she thought about it the more free she was than she thought. Maybe physically a caged bird, but who said the soul had to be caged to. That was a choice Okemia was making, to stay a soul caged, no longer. Free. She wouldn’t be a caged bird with a dead spirit. Not now, not ever.



Chapter 5




Upon hearing of the drastic change in the case, Jin faltered. Rene had always been a puppy love crush of his, but his brother, Dai had taken her. For what? Just to kill her in the end? There were so many things he wanted to display, the weeping tears, to speak, to yell and scream, but found he could not. As if completely shutting down, frozen, or dead. Broken. And this pain would never cease. A hurt that never fills. He owed his happiness to that woman, she inspired him to write, he had become a reporter, all for her. But now as he pondered, Oosaka attempting to comfort him, Jin could not fathom her death. Maybe unseen by his view for years, but she was there, how could there be no more?

Oosaka saw the distressed look he was beginning to show. Jin had always been good at keeping it all in, and at this moment he was trying his best but dams cannot hold that much water. Dams don’t just leak the excess, they burst. “Let me see her.”

In all the pain all the suffering he still managed to keep to why he had come. It changed nothing. He still wanted to see Okemia, he still wanted to be there. He still wanted to take her and this meant he wanted to keep her. The two were sitting in a consultant room, inside Sakabe hospital. Oosaka had just learned the news an hour ago and Jin was already almost to Kyoto. He thought better of calling him, while he was alone, so he waited till now. Oosaka did not regret it, but the anguish that kept building in his best friend hurt. Extremely. He placed a hand on Jin’s shoulder in an attempt at comfort. “I shouldn’t ask this of you, after all this but, you can’t see her till you’ve calmed down. She’s already wary of strangers, so you being this upset might scare her.” Jin nodded.

“I will…. Just give me a moment.”

“Of course.” Oosaka grabbed a juice from a fridge a few rooms down, handing it to him. Jin proceeded to take a few deep breaths, suppressing the emotions once again. If he was going to do this, this first impression had to be perfect. If this was how he felt just hearing it, he couldn’t imagine what she had been thinking going through it. Jin didn’t know all the details of how Dai had hurt her, only that she’d been in a coma. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good. Dai hadn’t always been this way but it snapped the night of that accident, he saw something that changed him completely, crime.

It only took a few minutes for Jin to completely suppress any hint of pain. It scared Oosaka how well someone could do it. “Alright, can we go now?”

“Yeah come along, follow me.” They left the room behind them, making their way past offices, back rooms, and operating rooms. The hospital was quite large, but luckily she was close by, Oosaka stopped in front of a door. The sign beside simply read the number 109. “Here we are. I think you should wait out here for a moment.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to go in and explain there's a visitor wanting to see her. I think, even though she doesn't remember what happened, deep down the fear and pain is still present.”

“Alright.” Oosaka knocked on the door three times. “Come in!” A sweet girl’s voice came, it sounded like Rene, so much like Rene, Jin thought. As Oosaka disappeared behind the door, Jin’s thoughts began to race, she was like her, her last name was heres. Just a voice and he’d already felt an overwhelming urge to protect her. He began to pace in place anxiously.

Inside Oosaka sat down in a chair beside Okemia’s bed. “I didn’t know you were coming today!” Her voice was excited, finally someone else besides her in this room. “Hello Okemia! It's nice to see you're in good spirits. I have a surprise for you.” Her eyes lit up, something new, something for her. “Really? I can’t wait!” Oosaka chuckled slightly, resting his face on a smile. “Well, it's a visitor!”

“Visitor? Who would come to meet me-?” She looked genuinely confused, it was kind of heart breaking but at the same time such an innocent question. “He’s part of your family. And it's ok because he’s never met you before, so don’t worry about trying to remember!” Okemia eyed the door, becoming a bit tense at the idea of a newcomer. “What do you say?”

“Ok… sure.” Oosaka turned towards the door and called out “you can come in!” The door handle turned and he stepped in. The light from the window illuminated his tall figure. He had a ponytail, though not as long as Oosaka’s, that was charcoal black. Though he attempted his best to keep a clean shaved face, hair still lined his jaw and under his nose. The blue of his eyes was an ocean and he bore two scars, one across the nose which was covered up by his rounded glasses, and the other above his left eye. His eyes went big, mouth agape staring at her, she was the spitting image of Rene, everything except the eyes, which were her father's color. Jin felt himself wanting to collapse from pure surprise. The tears he’d been trying to hold back were beginning to spew in streaks. He noticed her jump back, trembling. Was she scared of him?

When he burst through that door Okemia stared for a moment at the man. As he began to tear up and felt a gut feeling nagging at her and she was unable to control the trembling and the sudden jump. What was going on? Jin came closer, kneeling down next to the bed, so he was eye level with her. Jin was already crying and it looked like Okemia wanted to for a different reason than his. The spitting image of Rene, it made his heart jump. He just wanted to hug her tight and tell her she was safe.

Her arms turned and he saw it. The carving. Worthless. He jumped a bit out of his skin at the mark. Gritting his teeth, he didn’t know why it was there, but it was obvious his brother had done this. It made Jin so angry, this heart-sinking feeling. What kind of a monster had his brother become in the absent time since he’d known him. “Ren- Mia…” He gave her the friendliest smile he could muster. He knew she was scared but Jin wished she wasn’t. “Could I give you a hug?”

“Jin I don’t think-” Oosaka tried to say. Okemia hadn’t hugged anyone but Issei, which was on occasion. Issei had told Oosaka because trauma stays in the mind, she may have lost her memories but the survival tactics she learned, since she was most likely abused, were still present. And touch was one of those fears. But to his surprise she nodded. Jin opened his arms, bringing them gently around her. She stopped shaking. She embraced him, leaning and then collapsing, as if she’d been waiting for this relief for so long.

Okemia didn’t know why she’d been shaking but, a gut feeling told her she shouldn’t let her body control her, the shaking was preventing her, it was her choice, so she went against what her body was saying. Which in hindsight was dumb, but she had nothing to loose and it just so happened to pay off.

Oosaka was amazed. He’d been worried it wouldn’t work. But it did. She was happy, Jin was happy, Oosaka was happy. Everyone was happy. Jin attempted to let go, thinking he’d hugged her too long but she grabbed at him again, starting to tear. It was instant, the connection, the bond. It was beautiful. “Mia, you’re safe now.”

She couldn’t explain any of these feelings, but she knew they were good. And all she wanted was these to last forever. This had been her choice, she had chosen him. And he had chosen her. “When-” Jin faltered for a moment but continued “when can I take her home?”

Issei stood in the doorway, watching on. He felt himself begin to cry for a moment, out of relief and happiness. This little girl who they’d all grown attached to, was getting her happy ending. With someone who made her happy. “As soon as the legal documents for your adoption go through. The hospital was cleared to discharge her two weeks ago.”

“Thank you Oosaka.”

“I’ll leave you to be. Issei and I will see about getting this done now.” He turned, looking straight at Issei who nodded, Oosaka walked off grabbing Issei by the shoulder, shutting the door behind them. “You did it Oosaka.”

“No. We did it.” He patted his coworker, no friend on the back. Finally, after all these months of waiting, they didn’t have to wait anymore. They headed towards the offices, this was happening. Now.

Okemia and Jin sat in that room embracing each other for a long while, there were no words because there wasn’t a need. The feeling was enough. He graced her hair with his hand, it was so soft, so red like Rene’s. The crimson color, fiery, full of life, well was. But her daughter made it and that was what he had to focus on now.

They both had been so lonely for so long, maybe it was that feeling that drew them together. The empty piece was filled, maybe not the same as it once was, but different and beautiful all the same. And that was ok. Nothing stays forever, things change and move, tides in our ocean life and far beyond our time. But that moment was the only thing that mattered, not what had happened before or what would happen after. Jin said nothing at first, unsure how to begin. “Is it alright if I called you Mia?” She nodded. “You can call me whatever you want, but my name is Jin.” She looked up gazing at him, Jin was a pretty name but if she was related to him the proper way would be that. “Are you my dad?” Jin was taken aback. Oosaka had not informed her he was her uncle? He shuttered out “o…oh no dear- I’m not.” Mia produced a disappointed look.

“Could I still call you that- or would it be erm- not right-?” His eyes widened, she was ready considering something that personal? She’d barely known him an hour. “I suppose I did say anything… alright sure- heh.” She searched his eyes, a hint of confusion was prominent but also a happiness. At Least she knew the question hadn’t been upsetting to him. But she felt worried, maybe she was asking too much. She looked away, avoiding his eye contact, a tense feeling welling up inside. Jin seemed to take notice of the change, producing a smile before saying “I’d like that.” She turned to look up at him immediately. Maybe she didn’t have to walk on eggshells. Okemia let out a relieving sigh before leaning into him. She felt safe. Though there was no clear reason as to why, it just felt right. Like this was her destiny, that she had gotten to choose. Jin also got a choice, she knew, and his choice had been her. She knew no one could have made him come, he did that himself. Even when they’d never met and he’d had no idea who she was, Oosaka had said they’d never met, so she wondered why then?

Jin could tell she was unsure, not about going with him, she seemed very content to be near. But this girl had been through so much and couldn’t even remember. Nothing was concrete, nothing was solid, except for her battles and pains. He wanted to give her consistency, be her foundation, her rock. A lighthouse to guide her to her hopes and dreams. To protect her from harm. He’d been alone for so long he’d forgotten what it was to be social. To have someone else, he wanted a constant as much as she clearly needed one. It was working out because they were helping each other. Mia gave him a purpose and he in turn gave her sanctuary. He’d never thought in a million years a child would call him their father figure. Especially the child of Rene. Although he liked to think, even if it wasn’t her child, if it was a kid that was in the same situation, he would step up to the plate, and do what he intended to do now. Love her as his own.

Oosaka and Issei had their own celebration, short yes, but still a cheer for a victory. Things were working out perfectly. It would be cliche to say almost too perfectly but there was a reason for things just working out. It was meant to be, which is also cliche in its own right, but it just was. The way Okemia had embraced Jin, which in all the time she’d been there, she had only done it a few times with Issei. They wanted to dance around all night, enjoy the time of old college parties, but there wasn’t the time and they didn’t have the youth they once did. There was much to get done, including the legal papers and requests for the formal adoption of Okemia. Which Mayumi had already prepared, sending them with Issei after their little date. That too had gone well, another one was in order soon.

Issei read the terms to Oosaka who agreed it was fine. Oosaka signed his name, as he represented the hospital releasing her from her stay. While Issei got the forms in order for a legal consultant and Jin to talk about, before it was approved by a court system. This entire process would take several days, which upsetted both men because they just wanted to see Jin and Okemia off to Karakura. Two days, then everything would be settled.

Jin wasn’t allowed to spend the next two nights with her as he was just a visitor, with visiting hours closing at 9:00. Luckily Okemia was quite tuckered out the first night so he was able to get her to fall asleep, using the blue jay novel as a bedtime story. It had 100 pages left, perhaps he could finish it with her, in his- no their home in Karakura. Thankfully the apartment he’d lived in had a guest bedroom which had already been set up before he’d come. Oosaka informed him of things she liked, that she remembered of course. Now this room was a little more permanent considering she was staying till she became an adult. There was plenty of time to change things up to her liking.

After Okemia had fallen asleep, he and Oosaka headed to his place for the night. Oosaka had graciously extended his home, that way Jin didn’t have to drive back and forth from Karakura to Kyoto. That night Jin slept soundly, it was the most peaceful sleep he’d had in a long while.

During the second day, Jin and Okemia spent a lot of time getting to know one another. She even trusted him enough for her to share a few poems of hers. She was Rene’s child. Even if she didn’t remember Rene. That was what he would do, keep Rene’s memory alive for Okemia, the Rene he knew, the bright, kind, beautiful redhead. Jin couldn’t say he’d do his brother the same courtesy. Oosaka explained they hadn’t told her about who had done all her injuries, he wasn’t sure when to break the news, but not now. The little smile she held was too wonderful to tear down, she’d already been through enough, let the kid be happy. They looked at a magazine that was inside the basket beside the hospital bed, it showed all kinds of diverse people. Okemia explained there was one picture, which she showed, of a woman with large arms tattoos. The girl talked about it with a passion, she said she wanted to get one. “Is it only because they look cool? Because you know they stay forever!” He chuckled while saying this. Okemia did not laugh, instead flipping her forearm over so he could see the carving, WORTHLESS. “I want to make this- better.” That heart-breaking feeling returned. That carving was also permanent. There wasn’t much worse it could get than that. “Well- maybe you can get one, but let's wait till you’re feeling better. I heard it hurts a lot.”

“Ok dad!” He bit down on his tongue to keep from screaming out in pure joy and held back tears so he didn’t cry. Mia had explained she was going to call him that but saying she was and actually doing it made him realize how much it truly meant. The pure joy of being called dad, a protector, a hero. His brother had been foolish and thrown that beautiful gift away, Jin wouldn’t make the same mistake. This was his chance to right the wrongs his brother had done, it may not have been his responsibility, but it was his choice, a choice he would make gladly. Jin wrapped his arm around Mia, ruffling her hair in a playful manner. “Maybe we can even get matching ones Mia.” Okemia showed a toothy grin, a small laugh hiding behind her teeth. “Ok! That would be cool!”

“Yeah it really would.”


Court day. The sunlight guided their home stretch, their victory. Okemia didn’t understand much of what was going on, at a point after the judge, a sweet older lady, had called for evidence, Jin kneeled down, eye level with her. He looked worried, and gently spoke. “They are going to talk about your case, what kind of things happened. We thought it was better not to tell you as you're still getting better Mia but the judge wants you to stay.”

“Things?”

“How you were injured and erm- why you're going with me instead of your parents.” Jin was upset, he didn’t want her to find out this early but the judge, being a stickler, said it was absolutely necessary she be present as it was her adoption. She claimed, handing over legal guardianship is a lengthy process especially when there is one parent dead and the other nowhere to be seen.

Mayumi stepped forward to explain the case. She’d studied it for months now, it was like the abc’s. Issei introduced Okemia to her a few hours before, he said she had helped Jin in being able to adopt her. Mia appreciated her for that, maybe there were more people who cared about what she wanted than she realized.

The judge entangled her fingers as Mayumi spoke. “Your honor, the case of Mrs. Kuroki is a very deliberate case of child abuse. My only intention within this court is to tell the truth, in the hopes it is enough for legal guardianship to be transferred to Mr. Kuroki, her uncle.” Mayumi cleared her throat, picking up a file folder, before handing it over to the judge. “In those files contain reports, which I will point out momentarily. Let us start from the beginning. Mrs. Kuroki was found by the police, critically injured. Inside that folder, the first thing you should see is evidence of the injuries.” The judge opened the folder and seemed to turn pale at the viciousness of the evidence. “You will find two gunshot wounds, on the rib and leg, a mark across her neck and a large carving across her forearm. Beside those images you will see a report made by the hospital explaining the cut and carving were from a katana. It was a miracle she made it out alive, but staff made the difficult decision to place her in a coma. Which lasted five months in total before she woke up on her own accord. At which point a DNA test was administered and her identity was determined to be Okemia Rene Kuroki.”

Mayumi stopped for a moment to catch her breath and let the judge take in the evidence thus far. “Several investigators including myself have worked to bring you the rest of the following evidence. Another case was brought to our attention after trying to get into contact with Okemia’s current legal guardians. The entire case of the Kuroki family, they were all missing until the point of finding Okemia. The Kuroki family was not your average loving home. The second report you should see is two misdemeanors issued by child welfare services. Although the child was never removed from the home, they are present. The reports are made by one of her teachers who claimed the child would often come to school with bruises, cuts, and black eyes. Not only was there possible child abuse but the following document is a consolt made with the Wakeru Divorce Company. The consult was made by Mrs. Kuroki’s mother, Rene.”

Once again Mayumi stopped, letting the judge review the new information. The next piece was going to connect everything. “A third case, which was connected with Okemia’s case and the entire family case came soon after. A body, which the last paper shows, gives details about how long ago the body was deceased and by what means. This body was shown to have been killed only a few days before Okemia was discovered. The murder weapon was a katana, left carelessly at the scene of the crime.”

Mia felt an uneasiness brewing, Jin gripped her in a tight hug, it was all too much, but Mayumi kept going on and on. Just how complicated was this, how much didn’t she know? What could she possibly say next?

“The murder weapon was examined, finger prints. It had been done in a hurry. The fingerprints were traced to none other than Dai Kuroki, Okemia’s father. And the body, I regret to inform you, was Rene Kuroki, Okemia’s mother. This man-” Mayumi held up a picture of him. “Was charged under suspicion of various illegal acitivies, murder was surely the next on the list.”

Okemia felt herself fall backward, Jin held her so she couldn’t fall downard. That was why that name had stung in her mind, that's why it scarred her. And that picture, besides the scars, glasses, and a slightly more hairy face looked just like Jin. Almost twins, but they weren’t. It clicked in her head, that was why she had been shaking during their first meeting, Issei always said you remember things deep down. And her mother was killed by that man, she shuddered at the thought.

“But that wasn’t the only reason he attempted to murder his wife and child. He could have murdered anyone, but if you take a look at the divorce consult paper, in the details it explains. Rene wanted to leave Dai and take Okemia with her. Oddly enough, she does not mention taking another family member, her son, Zeke. Besides the point, she mentions the danger she felt living with him. Your honor, this man killed over jealousy, not standing for anyone leaving. Rene described during the consultation, he was a controlling man.”

Mayumi took another breath, it was nearly complete. “The police are still investigating the case of Dai and Zeke Kuroki. Both are still missing at this moment. With one parent, a murder, missing and the other dead, Okemia needs a stable place to recover. We cannot let this mistake happen again, therefore I request that legal guardianship be given to Jin Kuroki, her uncle. There are various reasons my coworkers and I have come to this choice, for one Jin is more than capable of providing for this child. He is well off as a reporter, has no record of violence or any crime whatsoever. But the most important factor, in my honest opinion, is how Okemia feels about him. Issei, the psychologist who has been overseeing her wellbeing while in hospital care will explain.”

Mayumi sat down and the judge turned, watching Issei with a hawk's eye as she sat perched. Issei was sworn in, promising to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. He began the same as Mayumi “your honor, in the time I have known Okemia, I have noticed many things. The trauma she endures to this day, the worries and fears she often consults me about and such. But she has never been one to trust strangers, understandably. But when Jin entered the room it was as if she was back to who she was before the incident. She talked with him after only half an hour, she hugged him, she looked genuinely relaxed and happy. If that is not by itself enough evidence to show he’s the perfect guardian for her I don’t know what is. But please- hear it from Okemia herself.”

The judge looked over at Mia, a gentle look appearing on her face. “Very well, swear her in.” Okemia sat next to the judge, on the witness stand. She seemed nervous and tense. Stuttering out “i-is it ok if he’s with me…” She pointed to Jin. The judge opened her mouth to say something but stopped. A smile appeared on her serious face. “This case is concluded. It is clear, from all the evidence and the words Mrs. Kuroki just said, legal guardianship should be transferred to Jin Kuroki.” As she went to slam the judge's hammer downward, it felt as if everything was in slow motion, Jin running up bringing her into a tight hug before picking her up in that carry fathers do. The cheers of all the people who had brought her to this moment. A moment where she got her choice. No longer was she caged, no longer was she lonely, after all this waiting, she finally had something true, that wouldn’t disappear, she was sure of it, Love.



Chapter 6



“Okemia wake up!” Jin softly shook her awake, the mushroom quilt covering her was trapping her in a warm hug she didn’t want to leave. Okemia opened an eye, a tired mmm sound coming before she looked up. “What is it dad?”

“You know what today is?”

“Huh- today? September 16th? A sunday?”

“Yes! And I found out today is your birthday!” Okemia stretched her arms upward, sharing a confused gaze with Jin. “What?”

“Yes! You’re officially 16! You know that's one of the most important birthdays ever!”

“Oh yeah- I remember something like that.”

“You get up and get dressed! I’ll make breakfast and then we'll take a little drive.”

“To?”

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you kiddo!” He ruffled her hair before placing a kiss on her forehead. She finished getting ready rather quickly, walking over to the apartment’s kitchen. It had only been three weeks and this place was already feeling like home. She couldn’t say quite the same for the rest of the city, it was huge and quite intimidating. Okemia knew eventually she would love the place, it would just take a bit.

Jin served her french toast, which she topped with syrup and powdered sugar. It was crazy what she’d been missing out on. So this was real food! Not the mush from that hospital. It helped that he was good at cooking as well. If he hadn’t become a reporter, she was sure he would have become some kind of famous world chief.

Once they had finished, they took the elevator down to the shopping district floor. Before making their way over to the street where Jin’s car was parked. They drove completely out of Karakura, where were they going? Jin seemed unusually excited, as if trying to contain himself from spoiling the surprise in a squeal of happiness. She liked that, the fact he wasn’t serious constantly around her at least. When the car finally came to a halt, they got out. Jin motioned for her to look as he pointed to a large sign above a building “Sakura Tattooing.” Her jaw practically dropped. “You're kidding right? There's no way!”

“There is a way. And I saw you’ve been planning this for a little while now so I thought today was perfect.” Okemia folded her arms around Jin. “Thank you Dad, so much.”

“Of course.”


Worthless no longer. It was a simple design because she wasn’t too sure about how much pain she could take. A black line was inked across the letters L E S S. As if to cross it out. And in a fancier font, the word it with a period ended the carving at her wrist. It now read “Worthless It.” Okemia had spent a lot of time thinking it over, it was perfect, an act of defiance to not only her father but the world who thought she had no value. The tattooer, a younger gentleman named Kairu, finished by polishing it. It was shiny and almost glowed. Kairu was at first taken aback at the carving but didn’t question it.

“How does it feel?” Jin asked.

“It hurts a little but I’ll be ok!” She had been strong during the inking. The kid had almost died, Jin figured if it made her happy it was worth it, literally. “Alright Mia, there's one more stop!” They drove for another long while, the tattooing shop was on the outskirts of Kyoto, they drove farther into the city. They once again parked, at an odd place she’d never been to. There was a huge beautiful red and white barn that could have made a lovely wedding venue. Jin led Okemia over to it, unable to put down a smile. She raised a suspicious look at him, what was he planning?

Suddenly he pulled one of the sliding doors open and a loud scream arose. “Happy Birthday!” As Okemia looked around she noticed the people. Issei, Oosaka, and Mayumi stood there amongst party decorations, a large table behind them filled with presents and cake. They did this for her. She wanted to drop to the floor and cry from happiness. She gave each of them a hug. “Thank you all- thank you all so much.”

That day she knew she belonged. These people were her people. They let her choose and supported her choice. And she was not alone to face the world any longer. After all these pains, all these trials, it was her time to be who she wanted to be. The past, her yesterday, came to her in fragments, but even those could not change who she was going to become now. No matter what difficulties laid in her path, she would face them head on. No amount of pain could stop her from her goal, of living the life she wanted. Okemia would not settle for less. The past was a piece of her, but one piece cannot define someone entirely. For the beauty of an entire image is that it creates more beauty, more meaning, than one piece ever could alone. Okemia was many things, a survivor, someone worthy of love and support, a genuine person with genuine struggles, but above all else she was unmoving in her choice to prove all those wrong who doubted her worth. Worth is defined by one's self, not the echoes of people calling out judgements. Worth is what you make it and being worthy is just the same.

“I do not know the past and my future is uncertain. So I shall look to the now for guidance of where to go and what to do. I will choose my destiny. Those past pieces of my life I still do not know, I am searching for, but I will do it as who I am now. Nothing will change this solemn vow I made to myself. I will be the imperfect and worthy me.”

Okemia sat on the railing of the apartment complex, her journal and a pen in hand, she stared down at the “Pieces of Yesterday” poem that she had finally finished, reading it quietly to herself as the sunlight once again tickled her skin. But this light was not from a window, it was the real feeling. The colors that painted the sky were the same as those sunsets from before yet this one had a different air to it. The freshness of the breeze and the colors seemed to blaze brightly in a fiery passion. Okemia held the journal, leaning against a post as she read the entire poem out loud.


“Pieces of Yesterday,

Of which I cannot find,

Are uncertain yet I know,

They will never change my mind,

Of who I want to be,

Free to choose,

My destiny even though my past is lost amongst who’s,

My past self, a stranger to me,

I wonder what kinds of yesterday pieces are hiding underneath,

Yet still I shall not waver,

In this choice I have made,

To be something more than a cage bird who cannot escape,

I’m tired of loneliness where strangers make me pick,

What they think is best, I feel oh so sick,

Sick of all this anguish of who I want to be,

And what I used to think before I started to sink,

I am drowning in my thoughts,

Yet no one seems to care,

Will I be thrown my raft of life, a choice I can wear,

As my own, despite the pieces of yesterday before,

I was unaware.

Picking up the pieces,

I just sit and stare,

Wondering what I have left if not someone who cares.”


She stopped for a moment, as if reflecting on what she used to think. Before reading the rest, which she had finished.


“That was what I thought, until I saw a hand,

Proclaiming I was not alone, there was something I needed to understand,

The people all around me,

Those who I have seen,

Are now clearly reaching their hands out because they love me,

Now that I am no longer blinded by these bars,

I see my heart that's filled with all kinds of scars,

But scars are just reminders of who I used to be,

Not what I shall become now that I am me,

This destiny I have chosen,

Which has only just began,

Will proudly show my flaws,

And how just how strong I am,

Worthy to be happy,

Worthy to be free,

I will keep on moving forward,

Pieces of yesterday won’t stop me.



Genesis

Original Backstory (All parts old true accept for the ending)

Presuming roses are delicate beauties is a fair assumption to make. However, assuming that they are that and only that is absurd in the truest form. If you happen to think roses are nothing more than frail things that wilt at the slightest touch then I must conclude you have never seen a rose in its fledgling form. For if you’ve ever tried to pick one from a garden or the deep woods you’d never forget the spited prick. This is before its dethorned of what protected it in the very first place. She was a wild rose, and despite life's best attempt to dethorn her, she had no intention of giving in. September 16th was the very first attempt at this. On the cold bathroom floor of a torn up home, she was born. A complete and outer mistake on the part of the parents. Pulsate pains made the poor mother sob in agony; the husband dismissed her, cruelly under the assumption it was just an overreaction. The bitter floor, sinking deeper as hours passed. Drunk and easily angered, the husband hit her on the side of the head for making such “ungodly sounds.”

Then at last when the pain had ceased an even greater cry emerged, the weeping of tears rolled from the mother in wails. Mind breaking at the bending thought of what laid before her heavy eyes. The shuffling of steps, her husband struck pure fear into this weary mother’s soul as he boomed at the sight of the bloody fresh newborn

“I THOUGHT YOU TOOK THE DAMN PILL.” He howled, throwing about whatever was closest to him. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’VE FUCKING DONE THIS RENE.” Fright boundless, her body shaken from all it had gone through, head beating like a heart. The little one sprang a shriek of great proportions that shouldn’t have been possible by any means.

Rene stuttered “Dai p...please h...hand me that t...towel.” He glared at Rene, eyes practically red with resentment. He spat “you better get rid of that little bastard or I’ll do it myself.” He walked away, smoke pouring from his ears. Sniffs and groans of pain bellowed, the babe still wailing. She got to her knees and reached for the towel, wrapping the shivering child in it, as the towels once pure color turned red. Rene held the child close to her chest and swaddled it.

Looking closer, it was a girl, eyes a grey blue and little wispy hairs red. The eyes of her father but not of angry intent, something far more innocent. The little one had not yet known of hate, only what made one uncomfortable. Rene rocked the babe back and forth, what was supposed to happen now? The usual embrace of childbirth was absent, only the lingering disappointment took center stage. Really what could one do? Leave her outside and let autumn take her? A loud crash came from the dining room. It made Rene cringe when as predicted a gurgling noise followed. He drank, everyday, when pressure was about him, when he wanted an escape. But Rene had no escape from his control. Tears once again rolled down the mother’s pale cheeks and she pondered what could be done. For two hours as the cold creped closer, the bitter edge of Dai’s words echoed.

When at last he’d awoke from the drunken daze. He came to stand in the doorway once more, hand extended against the doorframe. Rene looked up towards him desperately searching for any pity he might have. “You already got attached haven’t you?” She lowered herself in a submissive position. He staggered over to her and snatched the baby. Rene’s eyes grew big and reached out towards her child only to be met by a pointer finger waving back and forth.

“Ch ch ch.”

She retracted immediately, desperation loomed so heavily it fogged the room. Dai inspected the child for a moment, before looking back at Rene, who looked to be on the verge of another round of water works. “I am merciful Rene, you can keep it. But do not expect me to care for it, it is your job and only yours.” Rene’s angst grew. “Since I am so merciful, I will name her just that, so she remembers who to be grateful to. Okemia.”

He shoved the child back into Rene’s arms. “I don’t care for middle names, you pick. But if that child bothers me in any way I will not hesitate to use that katana of yours.” The last thing seen before he disappeared around the corner was his ocean black hair, dark like his heart. A falter, strength leaving her, from all that had occurred. With that she glanced at the mirror's reflection, red hair was now even more red from the blood, eyes were sullen, a dark daze covering the emerald color, and face drooping longly.

A middle name? The only name that rang in the mind was her own, of how harshly he said it. Would it be selfish to name one's child after them? Rene saw herself in Okemia, she too had been born harshly of the world, abandoned. But perhaps a better life could take place, better than Rene’s, a family instead of a lonely absence of love. Okemia Rene Kuroki. A beautiful name befitting the beauty of this girl.

Okemia crooked a gummy smile and a little giggle danced in Rene’s ears. Brushing the soft hairs of her head, Rene was overcome with joy and held her tighter, swearing if there was a god she would protect this child to the last breath.

The first year, one of new beginnings. The first word that babbled out “mama.” The tears of joy Rene wept from hearing something created by one's own self speak, it was so marvelous. The first movement by herself, crawling and how it felt like she’d travelled to the future, because Okemia crawled for a moment then the next walking. It moved so fast yet slow at the same time. For those long nights of crying echoed and rang in the ears painfully. Shrieks. The night's panic arose while Dai was still awake because he threatened to “shut her up himself.” Rene feared for her safety, often seeing things from stress. When the little red became a walker things got more difficult and yet Rene loved it even more. The trouble the little one got into was miraculous for her size, she was a fast learner. Quickly figuring where to go and where to not. And when being around someone wouldn’t cause harm. Little Okemia was still getting her reins testing the limits. And like most parents should, Rene would keep on her toes, watch vigently, and teach. Patience growing each day she brought her up. But unlike her mother, her father’s line was very slim.

Just recently turned two. The redhead had gotten out of sight for a moment's notice, while Rene had been doing some dishes. Okemia had wandered over to Dai, who had been smoking a cigar. She giggled “hello dada,” Dai glanced over at her before waving the cigar, in an effort to shoo her away. Okemia didn’t understand, grabbing his wrist softly. Dai flicked off the hand hard, blowing smoke in her face for good measure. Violent coughs stool the place of giggles, and mounds of tears appeared. “SHUT UP,” he growled loudly before placing the searing bud directing on the arm. She jumped and ran away screaming. Rene turned to see Okemia crying to dry eyes “oh honey what happened?” She inspected the arm before finding the source. “Now how did you wind up with a burn like that? You must have gotten into something again, be careful hun.” Okemia whimpered. “Hot.”

“Yes baby, whatever you touched must have been very hot.” Okemia nodded and hugged her. “Let me kiss it to make it all better.” She held out the burnt arm and Rene gently kissed the burn. “All better!” She laughed and went on to play with the little toy animals in the backyard.

Dai had issues. Drinking only enhanced these, his anger could be set off by seemingly the smallest of things. A little match burning down an apartment complex. The physical gestures mostly occurred in his drunken state, when he wasn’t he resorted to yelling, it worked. So well in fact her mother also feared him despite having the advantage of martial arts and sword wielding experience. After schooling Rene would often teach Okemia how to spar, of course this wasn’t till she turned eight. Ages three through seven are a bit blurry, mostly just learned of the world, who to embrace and who to avoid. The yelling and smell of cigarette smoke cemented that.

Years eight through ten were self-discovery years, the years where Okemia figured out interests and passions from within, and perhaps got a sense of who she wanted to be. Learned independence made her free, when things got bad at home oftentimes the outside provided sanctuary until the brewing battle inside settled. But when the fights between her mother and father lasted well into the night solitude and safety was tucked away in the bedroom closet. Where she would spend hours reading books of warrior princesses like Mulan. Okemia would imagine herself in their shoes, saving the people from evil, monster or man. And during those nights where she felt scared or alone the remembrance of those warriors' strengths got her through.

Rene noticed her daughter staring up at the katana hung above the mantle a few times. Rene herself had always been fascinated with swords because going back down the line of her family, they wielded them and taught others professionally. Her father believed no women should fight, it was for the men and only the men. To spite him, when he was away on job trips she would practice with his wooden dummy swords. But now looking at her daughter gaze so intently at it, it was made very clear this was in the family's blood, a calling. Placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder, Rene illustrated in memories, how she also loved swords, how she came to wield one.

“What makes you gaze at it like that?” Okemia looked back at mother, staring gently into her eyes and smiled. “I want to be a warrior princess just like my books. Then I can save you from daddy’s monster.” Rene’s smile dropped for a moment, no she had to be strong for Okemia. “I see. Well don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t be a warrior princess. You can do anything you put your mind to and I’ll help you. Why don’t I teach you?” Okemia’s eyes widened joyfully and she put her hands in the air dancing delightfully. “Yay mommy! I can’t wait, I just can’t.” Rene pressed a hand against her mouth and began to giggle while rubbing the long red hair of her daughter. “Don’t get too excited just yet. It’ll take lots of practice and hard work.”

“I know! I’ll practice every day, I swear it. Until I’m as good as you mommy.”

“I’m sure you will be Okemia, I’m sure you will.”

Rene gripped the girl's hand and into Dai and her bedroom they went. She bent down and started digging through the disarray that was her closet till she found what had been embedded. Two wooden sparring swords, still in rather good condition for being carelessly buried under clothes and boxes. Okemia’s eyes gleamed at the sight of them “wow! Real swords!” Rene smiled “I suppose somewhat they are. They’re training swords, they’re not sharp so you can’t cut yourself. But there's some rules you need to follow, ok?”

“Ok anything!”

“First, they can still hurt so don’t wave them about more than I tell you dear. Also don’t play with them, they aren’t toys, especially when I’m not around. If you break any rules we’ll have to stop ok?” Okemia nodded “I understand mommy! I will follow the rules.” A loud thunder came from outside. Rene sighed and looked back at her “your dad’s home. He doesn’t like the swords so we can’t use them when he’s home. It's going to be our little secret,” she put a finger to her lips “don’t tell daddy ok?” Okemia reached out a pinky and they shook. “That's my girl. Alright wanna help mommy make dinner?” Okemia smiled, grabbing her mothers hand and they left for the kitchen.

Over the course of the week, Rene had trouble finding time where Dai wasn’t home. Okemia got home for school at around the same time Dai got home from work, making it all the more difficult to squeeze in time. However, one day Dai had called, saying in a rather thrilled tone, he wouldn’t be home for a great sum of hours. Some work party, which of course Dai couldn’t resist. Just as Okemia was setting down a school bag, Rene, who had been in the doorway, was holding the dummy swords, a bright smile across her face. Okemia’s eyes widened, a cat drawn to its prey. Though there was no intent of hunting, she stalked, then slowly grazed the handle of the sword with her palm. “Common dear, we have much to talk about.” Little red jumped up and down excitedly.

The backyard of the home had a massive undercover room, with shoji walls that moved around. It was originally used for this very thing, sparing, but was now more of a warehouse, the storage piled up making the air musty and sickly. But there was still quite a bit of the room left untouched by boxes and debris. They stood in the center of the room, Rene kneeled, holding the sword as if to bestow a great treasure to a king. Okemia looked down at it longingly before gripping the handle and holding it (with two hands because it was rather heavy) as she’d seen in those books inspiration had been routed from. Rene walked behind and adjusted her hands “gripping it like this will make it much easier.” Okemia nodded, not one bit sensitive to corrections. Rene gripped Okemia’s wrists in order to guide the hands with each swing. “Hun we need to work on your stance. That's how you stand while holding a sword. You’ll fall over if you're not careful.” With her own feet, Rene pushed Okemia’s to a more spread out stance. One right in front of her and one planted in the back. This stance was far more stable than her legs pressed firmly side by side. She then brought Okemia’s hands back, explaining where it was best to swing, demonstrating. A few times when it was swung forward Okemia felt the weight lurge forward but the planted feet kept her steady. Rene smiled “you're doing really great dear! Let me tell you about different stances and then we’ll go get a snack, hm?”

“Ok Mommy sounds great!” Rene smiled, she always wanted to be a teacher for this sort of thing. Though the idea stayed just that, an idea that got lost amongst her many other thoughts, never to be fished out from that ocean deep mind. A sad thing really, for if Rene had pursued the endeavor she might have been far more happy than the current state the poor dear was in. Unfortunately it’ll just become another regret at the end of her time. From then on, every chance available, she taught Okemia. Rene might have even looked forward to it more than her daughter.

Rene hardly liked to leave Okemia alone with Dai. She knew he cared little for her and was easily irritated. But there are always those few times where Rene had no choice in the matter. One such day they were low on groceries, Okemia hadn’t quite made it back from school yet and Dai sat lazily on the couch watching an old crime show. Rene tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. “I’m going to get some food from the store, we’re running quite low. Let Okemia in the door when she arrives home will you?” Dai shook his hand, waving her off “yeah yeah I got it.” Rene watched his eyes turn back to the tv and forget she was even still standing beside him. With no choice but to trust him, she unlocked the family's tattered car and drove away.

When Okemia arrived home, she found no one waiting at the door to greet her. Odd, mother almost always waited on their porch for her return. It didn’t hurt any feelings, presuming her mother had gotten distracted with some chore and had lost track of time. But when the door was found to be locked, wonder welled up inside. A slight knock at the door aided little in the effort, with no answer presenting itself, she sought a different method. Trudging over to the side of the house, where a closed window shone into the home, Okemia, eyes lingering at her father, who was deadly focused on the television. Hands on his thighs, leaning forward, while sitting. Something had him invested and no amount of noise or hallor would draw him away from it. With no other option, she climbed the cherry blossom tree that grew beside the home's stone walled yard. Pushing leaves and blossoms out of the way, finding it hard to see at times as the flowers rained down in a sheet of pink. When at last she made it to the height of the wall, Okemia leaned against it taking in the surroundings.

She’d often lie in the tree for hours, developing a love for writing feelings away in a place such as a tree. It had begun as journaling on scratch paper torn from a binder. But developed into something more in first grade, her teacher, Mrs. Hirai had introduced poems, and she had fallen in love.

Okemia had developed a deep passion for writing poems. With the idea, feelings caged could be let free. When reading such words out loud you speak with intent, you emphasize what you feel is most important and articulate each word in such a way it leaves the listener knowing exactly what it is you feel. And despite no one listening to her words, Okemia wrote them anyhow. She could have told her mother but despite being only eight, it was clear Rene had enough on her shoulders. Something many adults cannot comprehend, pushing more and more unto others till they break, shattered, unrecognizable. Many adults like our dear ones father.

This red dove, peering in the tree, knew she couldn’t stay for hours, like in days past. Oh no, greater plans were afoot. It had been two weeks since the last opportunity to spar had arisen. Restless had rooted deep and despite her mother telling explicitly not to spar alone, a thought emerged, it had been two months since the first lesson, why she was practically a expert in all things to do with the wooden sword. Very vain, but kids do think highly of themselves. Lowering herself down the inside of the wall, clinging to the top of it, her hands stretched out for dear life. A thud sounded from feet hitting the ground, landing. She'd snuck around the side of the house to the main portion of the backyard, where the back porch was located. Stepping lightly on the steps so as to make no creaks, she entered inside the practice room.

A wave of thrill inserted itself, digging deep into her heart. Dashing about, a great peep in passionate steps emerged, intent set like glue, to find the dummy swords. Unfortunately, where they were found, it seemed Rene knew too well of her daughter's habits. For as an eight year old, impatience, energy buzzing as bees do, was bound to break the rule sooner or later. Because high up on a shelf next to a mound of boxes they sat, far out of reach. She pondered if it was even worth that hassle, but found there most likely wouldn’t be another opportunity, that was until her mother found time in the busy routine of day to day, to teach more. Seeing no way around the irresistible temptation, Okemia looked around for some form of stool. But of course, the universe urged her not to break mothers sacred rule, a stool could not be located by the wandering and determined eyes.

Glaring at the stack of heavy boxes beside the shelf, the thought about climbing them itching at the mind. The best option by far, though it could be quite costly at the idea of a fall. Despite the obvious repercussions, the patter of feet clattered over to the boxes and she felt herself become a bird soaring over the cardboard cannons. Okemia made it to the third box, stopped, and reached across the way for the swords. A few fingers gripped one for a moment before the shift in weight under her feet jolted. It was over in a few moments. The box slid out, making a terribly thunderous thud though not as loud as the crackle of Okemia landing on her back, flooring pushed back against the body. Somehow fumbly managing to keep the sword within the grasp of her right hand. A great wail escaped, a bobcat screaming, so loudly in fact Dai appeared in the doorway with a real blade, a silver katana, pointing towards little red.

To his outer relief and dismay it was not an intruder but his daughter. She laughed uncomfortably “oh hey Dad- I mean Dai.” Retracting the statement remembering his distaste for being called dad. It was obvious he hated her, wished she was never born in the first place. He said it all the time, how could Okemia not realize? He reminded so much it became part of her identity. A mistake that was only a burden to the family, only alive because of the mercy they had shown. Dai set the sword aside and meandered over to her, when he caught a glimpse of the dummy sword he growled “why do you have that?” She gulped, frozen now, the pain subsiding, replaced by a hungry naughing fear.

Okemia’s face was pale, like a mist had covered it. Dai’s jaw was clenched as he grabbed her by the hand, yanking upwards. She squeaked in alarm and out of reaction plunged the sword into his gut. A great gasp of air broke free before he ripped the sword from her hand and threw it to the side. The scratch of the wood skirted the ground, nails on a chalkboard, echoing.

“Why the hell do you have that hm? Tell me you brat!” Overwhelming terror, trying to look away from the wide booming voice. His saliva splattering her face, blinking to keep it away from the inwards of the eyes. Okemia’s hands up trying to put distance in between them, palms facing him, head turned, hiding. Only just managing to stutter out, scared that if silence was the answer he’d hit her like all the times before “m...m..mommy s..said I…” fear overcame all thoughts, overthinking swelling. “Of course this was your damn mother, that bitch never learns not to cross me!” He threw her to the ground in anger and kicked her in the stomach a few times before storming about, his footsteps an earthquake that shook her entire body.

Okemia sat up, watching her fathers childish rage unfold. She rubbed her back painfully. Why did he care about her using swords? A sudden knock echoed from the front of the house, it made Dai stop. Next thing, Rene was at her side. The yelling that had so recently subsided came back with such fury it felt as if she could be broken at the slightest touch. “I told you Rene! I fucking hate that you can fight! I don’t need a child knowing it too! The little brat hit me!” Rene tried to drag Dai into the other room but he wouldn’t have it. “That bastard needs to hear this too. I don’t wanna hear how she’s just a child you hear me? I don’t fucking care.”



“Hey Okemia! How are-” the voice trailed off. It came from a classmate, Raven, a little sweet with black hair and green eyes. Raven lived in the same cul-de-sac as Okemia’s home, with her older brother Logan. “Did...he do that to you?” Raven pointed at the purple swell that circled the left eye. “Mhm…” Producing to pull up the pant legs and sleeves revealing several bruises. “Don’t tell anyone ok…?” Raven nodded and hugged Okemia tightly. “Hey! Wanna go look at the horses across the street? That always cheers you up!”

“Ok!” They watched the beasts dance and play, chasing and kicking at each other. Sometimes if they came at the right time the horses would come close enough for children to pet them. When the animals found no promise of food and the group of children had grown too large they’d mosey away.

“Which one is your favorite?” Okemia glanced about the fields watching them strut. Their movements so beautiful, like ballerinas. “He’s not out today. But it's the tan one with white splotches. I called him Faris.” Raven giggled “I love that one too! Really good name.” Okemia smiled and nodded. A fascination with them had always been there, but plucking up the courage to ask her parents about it was a different story. She doubted her father would say yes, he never said yes to anything. Dai would go on a rant for a long sum of time about “how you need to work for it and not all of us can sit on our lazy asses all day.” Then there was the entire other issue of the financial aspect. Okemia knew they didn’t have any extra money for activities. Just being close to them was enough, their gentle nature calmed her.

“Mmmmm,” the school bell sang in a deep hum. Raven and Okemia looked back at the schoolyard, the children flooding into the open doors, yelling and laughing. “We better get inside,” Raven held out her hand. Okemia nodded, gripping Raven’s hand tightly and off they went.


It's quite painful to retell every detail, not only because it would take a long time and I am sure like most you don’t have that luxury, but mostly for the reason that it makes me sickened that humans can hurt each other in a way that lasts well beyond their youth. How can someone, who is clearly old enough to understand that pain, damage a child? Despite my best attempt to understand it still remains a mystery I will never get the answer to. I guess as much as adults preach they are older so they know best, no one can sew every hole. The words that beat her down, fist after fist, were both mental and physical. And despite trying to remain unseen, her disguise never quite blended in. The burns, bruises and scars were a painful reminder of the cruelty of human kind. She was a canvas, and those markings were the paint. But not every moment was something wished to forget because as much of a hell as Dai made Okemia’s life, Rene fought just as hard to make it merry.

Her 10th birthday. Her mother had thrown it, the backyard had become the liveliest it had in years. Okemia’s close friends and their families were invited. Though no one from her family actually bothered to show. Too distracted with the other children was she to give such a thing any thought, for the best. The children were sitting in a circle laughing and enjoying the red jasmine cake. Logan and Raven sat next to one another telling all about a trip they had gone on not too long ago. Aisha, Levi, Yuki, and Okemia listened and made the occasional ohs and ahs at the story they told. A clanging of a gong rang through the backyard, everyone's eyes were drawn to the thundering yet somewhat beautiful sound.

“Alright everyone! It's time to open presents!” Rene’s voice was not a yell but rather a lengthy call, to reach the people. At times it inspired hope into many. The families and children gathered around a table scattered with presents. Each friend took a turn presenting their present, sure there's was the best. Each time a hug was exchanged from both Okemia and the gift giver. There were books, art supplies, hair bows, and a hand sewn white Kimono made by Raven’s mother. All wonderfully thought out gifts, that made Okemia excited beyond what she had in some time. But the biggest surprise came when her mother pulled her aside “there's still one more gift dear, but we’ll have to go into the dojo for that.” She pointed to the warehouse. Okemia trotted towards it, excitement brewing intensely. Rene followed behind her, the guests also, but holding back, just outside the doors because it was not quite big enough for them all to fit.

Rene moved in front of her once they entered the dojo. She beckoned Okemia to a polished cherry oak table that was in the back corner of the dojo. An odd lengthy shape lay on the table covered by means of a white sheet. Such a shape was unrecognizable, a complete mystery, that turned wheels in her head. Rene gripped the sheet with both hands and slowly unveiled the item. Drooping the sheet in a silk layer behind. Okemia sat mouth agape, unable to react any other way than staring. She traced it, eyeing in wonder, from the hand forged, slightly curved edge of the blade, to the black handle that was covered in gold and red accents. The beautiful crafted katana would have pleased any wielder or collector who had the pleasure of owning such a weapon. It sat upon a rack that held it in the air suspended as if it were flying. Or floating, waiting for a hand to reach out and proclaim their destiny as the great hero who would defeat a tyrant.

Rene lifted it with both hands and presented it in a kneeling stance to Okemia. A knight presenting a great treasure to a ruler, a bow in the neck. Gazing it with her fingertips slightly, softly for she wouldn’t be so careless to damage such a magnificent sword. An intense stare appeared, asking if it was possible to hold such a valued item. Her mother smiled a sweet wide smile and nodded. Okemia took the gift from Rene and hugged her tightly with her left arm.

“Thank you mom. This is the most wonderful present I’ve ever received.” With that they walked back outside and the party continued. Okemia showed her friends it, explaining just like her mom had done, how to use it properly. The stances she took in order to hit something just right. The children clapped in delight at the great show unfolding before them.

One of the mothers pulled Rene aside during the party.

“Rene, should a child really be handling a sword? Didn’t your husband disagree with the idea? Why I heard an accident occurred sometime ago with her and swords. It's not safe for a little girl. This is quite irresistible of you, you're an adult you should know better.”

“I appreciate your concern but my daughter has the proper training. I myself have certifications, in fact these certifications give me the permission to teach others. Okemia’s been learning since she was eight, so a good two years. My girl is more than ready to accept the responsibility of a real sword. In fact she was teaching the other children including your son proper etiquette and sword safety. As for her father, that is really none of your concern.”

The woman scoffed and furrowed a brow. “Excuse me but that was a rather rude tone. I am only thinking of what's best for her. Besides, a lady shouldn’t be in possession of such a vile tool.”

“With all due respect I beg to differ. Good day Mrs. Suzuki.” With that Rene walked away leaving Mrs. Suzuki dismayed and appalled. Rene chuckled to herself quietly as she conversed with the other parents.

That moment by far was the one good memory that quickly came to mind when thinking of the childhood she’d had. Though of course that doesn’t mean Okemia’s childhood was all bad. The hurtful memories just grew deeper into the mind, planting seeds of doubt and fear, far more than any good memory had. Her childhood blurs in many areas, if a trigger occurred perhaps a few might come to mind, but the ones that linger, a consistency in her mind, were two, this one and the last childhood memory. Okemia grew up fast, but this was the moment the kid-like sense, imagination and childhood wonder was lost.

When she’d turned fourteen it started the time in every teens life, going out with friends. Most of the time to escape the relentless hardships of home life. Tired of seeing fights and getting beat she would stay out well into the night and sneak back when he fathers drunken rage had settled into a heavy hangover. He knew somewhat of her leaving, and that built up day after day, the control he’d had for so many years was beginning to fade, that fact bit the nip of his nose for a long while. Dai had confronted Okemia many times, the arguments left her drained of any tears and him boiling at the thought of his daughter out with other men. One night in particular Okemia had left after Dai threatened Rene about some bill that hadn't been paid.

“Where’d the money go huh? You stole it didn’t you! You selfish wench.” Okemia had enough of the bickering so without a word to her mother or father she slipped away, leaving all the troubles behind. Oftentimes parties were a common stop made with friends. Though drinking was involved, the recollection of violence that came from such a state drove away any temptation. For even when friends said it would make anyone forget their worries, it was clear it was short lived and would cause more problems than the temporary absence of pain gave solutions. They called her a chicken, a scared kid for it but the comments were pushed off with the same reasoning each time. This had been going on for a good few months, adapting well to the constant pestering to try something new. The grapple between both parents seemed to happen everyday. Over the smallest things, when Dai was most irritable. Though Rene didn’t have an idea where Okemia went in the hours they fought. The thought she was safe from Dai created some ease. A good child with good values could combat pressure and temptations with only one word, no.

Now this night, the one where Dai accused Rene of stealing, which of course had no real grounds to it, Okemia came back so late into the night she was sure her parents would be sound asleep. In fifteen years the acquired skill of slinking around, became second nature. A cat light on its feet, almost no sound, other than moving through the night air. Okemia had arrived home, one friend, a tall dirty blond, with an English accident accompanying her. He was dressed nicer than most of the party goers. “Well this is my stop, thank you Mao for taking me home. I appreciate it. Are you sure you’ll be alright to continue the rest of the way?” He wore a wide genuine smile and patted her head. “Of course sister, I may not look it but I can hold my own should any problems arrive. Have a goodnight.” Okemia nodded and drew up a hand to wave goodbye. Meandering over to the cherry blossom tree that seemed to be her route on a night such as this, she climbed. As very careful steps wineded the timber arms and hopped the stone wall. Landing on the ground in a squatting position. The house was silent, the leaves shook from the air and night birds chirped warning words but all seemed clear. The inside of the home was dark and dead, as if abandoned. Frozen in time, time that seemed to drift away as the hours of rest covered the world in silence. Okemia darted to the dojo, the farthest entrance from where her parents' bedroom was. The creak of going up steps made her cringe, gritting teeth uncomfortably. The idea of getting caught was nauseating, insides brewing as a sickly pit feeling emeragered. She placed a hand on the door and slid it to the side as steadily as possible, stepping inside. Turning faintly around to close the door but a sudden presence made her neck hair stand on end. The immediate feeling of warm crushing hands wrapped around her neck tightly, and then Okemia’s body was whirled around slamming against the wall beside the door. It felt difficult to make out a scream or a question, who? The fiery eyes of her father met hers, sending a great terror down anyone's spine. She grabbed at his hands trying to get him to let go as she choked, tears pouring from her eyes and visible shaking covering every inch of her. Goosebumps plated like fragile china being cloaked in bubble wrap. Though this experience was not to protect her far from it. From what she could make out Dai was not drunk, this was pure anger of a sober man. Though he was always just a bit tipsy, adrenaline wavered the effects.

“Who the fucking hell was that boy you were with outside?” Okemia stared at him wide eyed and coughed out “no one.”

“Don’t play dumb with me girl. I know you go to parties all night when you could be helping out the family. But no, your ungrateful lazy ass leaves all night and sleeps all day.” Okemia attempted again to get Dai to release his grasp on the windpipe but found nothing successful. Though stronger than most that age, she lacked the power to go against her father. He had weight and sheer strength that made her look weak and pail in compassion. A shaking frenzy possessed Okemia, head desperately searching for the same mercy Rene had the night she had been born. But found that mercy had withered and died, becoming a stiff unmoving fury. A fight rage kicked him in the stomach, he grunted, his grip became tighter. She turned her head violently, making neck rug burns against his hands leaving a red print. Okemia opened her jaw as wide as plausible, biting down with sizable haste and force. He let out a thundering shout and pulled away. At that moment she dashed away and started to book it out of the dojo and through the house.

“YOU BITCH.” He charged after her but found the girl had hunkered behind his wife, shaking intensely. “You little wench. You think your mommy can save you?” Dai reached towards the girl but was met with Rene encasing his wrist with her fist. “This ends tonight.” He shook her off and stared past her at Okemia. “Come out little mouse. Or I'll just set a worse trap you can’t avoid.”

“She’s leaving.” Rene turned around to look at her, seeing the fear in the child's eyes. “She’s leaving this house forever.”

“WHAT.” Dai began to franticly stomp about. “She’s not going anywhere. That snake needs to pay for this.” He pointed to the bite mark that resonated on his arm. Rene got up and started to usher past Dai clinging to Okemia tightly. “Where are you…” Rene closed the door behind them, pushing past heeps of trash that scattered the floor into Okemia’s room. A click affixed their safety. Wildly Rene began pulling things out from under the bed and closest and stuffed them in a large trail backpack from years past. Clothes and personal items, water bottles and snacks were loaded inside it. A struggle occurred with the zipper for a bit but it was eventually closed. Rene handed the backpack to Okemia and she slid it on. Lastly Rene lifted the katana, received on that tenth birthday and sheathed it before securing it at Okemia’s side. Her mother burst into great sobs and held her tightly in a bear hug for many minutes.

“I- I love you so much my dear. You are so very strong and I know you will be ok. You cannot live like this anymore. I've known that for too long. I held out hope he would change but now I see it's not safe for you. Please go to Mrs. Lancaster's home. I know you’ll be safe. And take this-” Rene reached into a wallet and brought out 100,000 yen. “So you can situate yourself somewhere.” Okemia began to cry out, stuffing the money in a coat pocket. “I- I love you so much mom. You are the most amazing person I’ve ever known.” Rene presented one final smile, knowing this sentiment couldn’t last. She ushered her daughter to the window. Okemia launched out of it, and landed with a womp on the grass. Okemia waved, still shaking profusely, to her mother and bounded away, almost tripping a bit, but forcing her legs to move though she didn’t want to go. And that was the last time Okemia saw her mother or father again.


A new start called to her and those childhood friends she held so dear. Raven and Logan's parents died in a fire. An accident, never solved by the wayward police. Aisha and Levi’s parents arrested on the charge of murdering their nine year old sister. Unbeknownst to Okemia, they had just as cruel parents as she had. And Yuki wanted to be free and follow his beloved friends. They all moved into a small house owned by a couple not much older than themselves. The couple opened up their home and the pleasant hearts they owned, Okemia became close with Eden, one of the couple. Many similarities shown through both of them, among such things was passion to help others. The children started to attend the high school in this new town known as Karakura. For the first time in years Okemia felt the overwhelming happiness of a normal life.

Though this wonderland, a padiase among the hell she’d been subjected to, would last only a few more years. Over a year and a half, a wonderful little life for herself had been made. Only doable because of the ones, found to be the family never felt. Memories covering the dark times, filling the gaps with Raven, Aisha, Ena, and oh so many more to come. Brothers and sisters who Okemia would never leave behind, who she swore to protect no matter the cost.

A sweet hum covered the vagrant air, spring air, her favorite. It was fresh and brought new meaning to life. The cherry blossoms that swayed about smelled a distinct way, though when asking others about it they knew not what she meant. Okemia strolled through the courtyard of the school, smiling. The chatter of students around was blocked out by the focus on the scent. But when her vision was interrupted by a hand the daydream broke and fizzled away to acknowledge the hand's owner. A scrawny kid, with shaggy auburn brown hair and bright blue eyes. “Hello miss, would you like a copy of the journaling club news? It's especially interesting because it has stories from towns outside of our own.” Okemia smiled “of course! Thank you for the offer.” He reached into his messenger bag and pulled an article from the large stack. “Here you go. Enjoy your day.”

“You too!” With that he walked away onto the next student. She walked into the school, past lockers and the help desk to the open center of the school. There were great trees and an outdoor cafeteria setting as well as some volleyball courts. Okemia sat down on one of the scattered benches and flipped through the pages. A sudden headline seized her “Deranged man slits wife’s throat.”

A blank, empty expression crossed Okemia’s face. Frozen, stunned from the news. The picture provided was indeed her father. Her mother was dead. The numb hands released and dropped the newspaper, it swayed downward landing open on the page. There this girl stood mouth open, eyes bulging with a heavy grief. The tears flowed in small drops, staining her face. Dead. She truly was alone now. And in that moment all that could be mustered was the repetition of the word dead. As it was hopeless to think anything besides this event, unable to believe the words written on that paper. Instead the thought of how her childhood played out would come later. And would resonate as just one of millions of abuse stories that ended in trauma that never seems to fade no matter how many happy moments follow. Although as life is, happiness is always interrupted by duty and obligations. Oftentimes it seems, they are doomed from the start. Those scars will open up all over again, and a cycle of abuse will remain in the wake of that fading happiness. A shame to say the least, for life loves to dethorn even the loveliest of roses. But in my experience, roses always grow back. When they are picked, they don’t die. Yes the blossom that took them all year to sprout may indeed wither. But what remains are the roots. Even if you try to dig them up, you can never destroy them all. So as the petals of our rose are torn and shrivel, even the poison cannot kill it. Dethorned maybe, but none can truly kill a rose.