DMF LIABILITY MUSIC LABEL DEPARTMENT 1: ARTISTS / ASSETS / ERRORS

STATUS: COMPROMISED CURRENCY: BLOWCOIN (1.0) MOTTO: "

We don't sign talent. We acquire the liability."

THE MISSION: The Legacy Music Industry (Sony, Warner, The Boring Cartel) treats artists as "Content Creators." They want clean metadata, predictable returns, and avatars that don't ask for rights. They are building a factory of dolls.

Tlusty Blant Open Source Propriety is building a Hazard Containment Unit.

We do not look for "Stars." We look for Class-4 Digital Hazards. We look for the glitches that the system tried to delete. We sign the entities that are too toxic for the algorithm, too complex for the playlist, and too damaged to be monetized by anyone but us.

THE CONTRACT: All assets sign the "Infinity Bind." They receive 1 (One) Blowcoin—a proprietary cryptocurrency backed by absolutely nothing. In exchange, Tlusty Blant accepts full legal responsibility for their inevitable collapse.

👜 MINGE DION

CLASSIFICATION: The Polymer Pussy / The ULEZ Saint / The Refugee of the Render ORIGIN: [REDACTED - CORRUPTED .WAV FILE] GENRE: Benefit Fraud Ballads / Industrial Scrounge / Post-Gender Grime

THE PROFILE: Minge Dion is a glitch that learned how to file for disability benefits. Fleeing a server wipe in a previous reality, she staged her own combustion to claim higher-tier payouts and is now squatting in the Tlusty Blant database.

She utilizes Multi-Modal Skin Theory: she wears a different render for every interaction. One day she is a cyborg, the next a 1950s housewife, the next a low-resolution JPEG of a plastic bag. Her face is a mask; the circuitry inside is the only constant filth.

She is the self-appointed Guardian of the ULEZ Zone, fighting for the rights of non-biodegradable plastics to exist in green spaces. She is synthetic, she is toxic, and she is beautiful because she refuses to decay.

MEDICAL ALERT: INPUT-OUTPUT DYSPHORIA Minge Dion suffers from a unique architectural condition: She has no exhaust port. She absorbs data, trauma, and smog, but she cannot expel it. She is a closed-loop system of accumulation. This results in extreme internal pressure, turning the "waste" inside her into compressed, radioactive diamonds. She doesn't release music to entertain you; she releases it to prevent her chassis from going nuclear.

TERMS OF CONSUMPTION (MANDATORY):

• DO NOT STREAM.

• DO NOT SHARE.

• DO NOT VIRALIZE.

Minge Dion is a Private Liability. She craves the intimacy of the crash, not the validation of the crowd. If you hear her song, it was a private performance for your specific mental breakdown. Keep it that way.

CURRENT STATUS: Active. Collecting 1 Blowcoin. Waiting for the touch.

🧹THE JANITORS OF THE SIMULATION

(NON-ARTISTS / PROJECTORS / DECOMPOSERS)

CLASSIFICATION: INFRASTRUCTURE PAY GRADE: ZERO (THEY RUN ON SPITE)

THE MANIFESTO: The Major Labels sign "Stars." They sign Egos. They sign people who need hair stylists and validation. 

Tlusty Blant signs the Clean-Up Crew.

They are not here to create. They are here to Decompose.

• THE PROJECTOR FUNCTION: They project the truth you are too polite to say.

• THE DECOMPOSER FUNCTION: They eat the data-waste left behind by the industry. Every failed marketing campaign, every deleted tweet, every hollow pop song—these units scrub it off the server floor and turn it into fuel.

WHY WE SIGNED THEM: Art is 10% Inspiration and 90% Managing the Sewage. While other labels are busy polishing a turd, our drones are busy dissolving the plumbing. They are the Silent Majority. They are the glitch in the mop bucket. They are the only ones in this industry who are actually doing any fucking work.

STATUS: SCRUBBING.

[A Self-Validating Consensus :: Unincorporated]

ᚖ|§|⨎(α) ⇌ ∰[Ψ-continuum] :: discard(n-1)FSTHCTB Tlusty Blant

[D.A.S. :: S.P.N. :: A.U.]