Embedded Files
The following is the voicemails between Vegas and Pete while Pete was at his grandparents' house in Russia. They are placed in chronological order (from what I could gather from context). In the fanfic, Pete doesn't hear any of Vegas' voicemails until after he returns to Thailand.
I really loved the voicemail parts. Pete's reactions to them are so pure and raw. It always made me anxious when Pete left Vegas messages about not being enough for Vegas because you wouldn't see his reaction to it at all until later. I think these were my favorite.
THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL EXACT QUOTES FROM THE FANFIC.
Vegas
Pete
“First message. Hi Pete.”
“I know that technically, you haven’t left, but I wanted to make sure we could talk when you get to your grandmother’s place. I really- I fucked things up when I saw you and you… you drive me crazy Pete. I can’t sleep without your scent. I’ve been paying off your brother for your clothes but he cut me off and it hurts not having you near. I don’t know why you were mad that I asked Auntie to bite you. It was the only way we could be together. The taboo doesn’t-”
“Second message. Fucking piece of shit cut me off. I was saying the taboo meant that we couldn’t complete the bond. Uncle got rid of his second over it, that’s why Chan’s so young. Have you seen my Pa’s second? Bon is fucking old. Anyway. Sorry, I'm getting distracted. I’m sorry Pete.” His voice is shaking. “I love you, I really love you. Please let me fix things. Don’t break the bond, okay? We can work this out. I’m so sorry. You aren’t nothing, you’re everything to me.”
~ Vegas leaves five messages before Pete even leaves the country. ~
Then, there’s at least one message, if not more, for every single day that Pete’s in Russia. Messages asking if Pete likes his gifts - the clothes, the chilis, the spices, the knick knacks. Voicemails that are responses to his voicemails. Voicemails left in the middle of the night because Vegas had a bad dream where Pete had pulled the trigger and his terrified sobs fill the phone, begging Pete not to do it again.
“There’s no reception, Vegas. It’s too remote.” He starts to hang up and then pulls the receiver back. “Why did you- Why did you try something with me? If I was nothing then why did you give me food? Clothes? Why are you sending me gifts? Why act like you care?”
Pete sits down on the ground behind Mariya’s desk, sliding down so that he feels like he’s hiding from Vegas’ gaze, even here.
“Why me? We both know I’m nothing. I know it, you know it. So why?” Pete looks down at the phone in his hands and holds in until the beep lets him know that there’s no more space to leave a message.
In response to Pete’s voicemail:
“Pete, I love you. You’re my everything. I send you clothes and food and everything you need because I want to prove to you that I can take care of you. I should have never said those words. I’m sorry, Pete. Let me take care of you. Please. You let yourself suffer for everyone. You don’t need to suffer anymore. You should be cared for and I want to be the one to care for you. Please let me. Please, Pete. Please.”
On the second phone:
“I should have realized sooner that the reception was shit when your brother told me you had landlines. The satellite phone has my phone on it. So, you might not get this for a while, but the satellite phone has a voicemail too. I miss your voice. Pete… I miss the way you say my name, like you’re disappointed and pleased. I like the way it rumbles in your chest. I think about the way you feel when I touch you and you say my name and there’s nothing better in this life than that, Pete. Only you."
On their future:
“I was thinking about my office and how good you’d look in there with me. On the desk, or the floor, or my lap or the floor at my feet or-” and Vegas’ voice drops, like he doesn’t want anyone to hear, “...sitting in my chair with that little wrinkle in your eyes, helping Macau with his homework. You’re so good with the new bodyguards and with Tankhun. I still remember what you were like when you tried to help me. It’s really sexy, Pete.”
“I like the gift.” he says, when the voicemail recording starts. “I like being able to wear your scent. Sometimes it's easy to forget that you are smaller than me when everything about you is bigger.” Better even, though Pete swallows those words. “How are the puppies? I remember things were rough for the family when I was newly bitten. Is it rough for you? Where did you go?”
Pete’s not sure what to add but he doesn’t want to stop talking. “I killed a bear this weekend. I wasn’t supposed to. It tried to kill me and my friend so I killed it first. It’s my first kill since the change. It still feels just as good as before I was bitten. Does that make me broken? I’m sending it to you.”
He thinks of Vegas stepping off the plane at the grandmother’s airstrip, wearing a polar bear coat. No, that’s not the way to think of it. “That bear was my enemy and I want you to wear her skin. I want people to see you dressed in my kills. I want us to come visit my grandmothers together someday.” He pauses, and forces himself to say the next words that come out of him as painful as broken glass. “If you still want me.”
On Pete’s inquiry about the puppies:
“The puppies keep crawling all over me with their baby eyes and they can’t even walk, and I can’t believe I didn’t know how vulnerable they are. You used to be like this. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry Pete. Do you think you can forgive me?” and the continuation moment later:
“They’re all so small and you can see their core personalities. Mek keeps clinging to people. Na is squirmy, can’t stay still for a minute. JJ whines if he’s not touching anyone, but he doesn’t try looking for any of the puppies. Ice is exhausted all the time, she can’t stand being away from them and they don’t let her sleep. I haven’t learned all the other names yet, but they’re such puppies, Pete. They’re so blue.”
He dials again just to listen to the sound and this time, manages to collect himself long enough to say, “I saw my present in the news. I really like it.” He swallows hard, trying to think of anything to convey how much he loved being stalked by Vegas, because how else could Vegas have known about the way Pete killed the bear if he didn’t have someone feeding him information, if he wasn’t following Pete as closely as he can without millions of acres between them. “I really, really liked it, Vegas.”
Pete’s hundredth voicemail to Vegas is left in the office of Mariya’s headbody guard, Kevin. A Frenchman who seemed almost as disappointed in his name as Pete was. “Did you know other packs have mixed matings? My aunt’s wife is human. We could have bonded with each other if we were anywhere else. Anyone else.”
In the morning, over breakfast, Grandmother Nastya places a hand on his shoulder. “Have you heard from your Vegas? His second friend called and asked if he’s reached out about making plans. She played it off as though they were considering organizing a visit to Russia but it sounded suspicious. Did he say anything in one of your letters? Something in code?”
Pete shakes his head and feels his stomach drop. He tries to tell himself that it’s fine, Vegas is forgetful so it’s probably most likely to be exactly as Ice told them, they were considering visiting. Vegas could be so mercurial at times except.
Except Khun Gun is territorial and possessive. He won’t even let Vegas and Macau be out after eight at night if they aren’t accompanied by a massive retinue of guards.
Pete calls the number he has for Vegas and it goes straight to voicemail. “Are you safe? I need to know if you’re safe, Vegas. Ice called us and tried to act as if things are normal but if she’s calling she must be terrified. You have to call her and let her know you’re fine. She’s your second.”
He gets a message from one of the kitchen helpers a couple hours later, that says, “I’ll deal with it.” and no other context.
He really had left a message every day up to when he disappeared to Russia to get Pete. His messages getting more and more desperate until the last one
“I’m going. I can’t go another minute without seeing you Pete. I don’t know how you’ve managed to stay so calm about everything when you’re the only person that ever tried to see me, not the family, me. I need you Pete. I need you. You’re my Pete. My moon. My foundation. You’re my moonpulled and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel less. I need you and I’m coming. I have a plan. I don’t care what happens to me as long as I can smell you again. Your scent is fading from your sheets and I can’t live without you Pete. I don’t care how pathetic it makes me. I need you. I need you. "
“I’m home now Vegas. I’m home and I have your voicemails. I miss you. I’m going to carry your phone with me now so if you call me you can actually reach me.” Except, he needs to reward his ridiculous moonpulled and it won’t be a surprised if Vegas checks the GPS tracking on the phone. “Starting tomorrow.”
Page updated
Google Sites
Report abuse