The sweeping northwest wind brought with it a round of heavy snowfall. The residents of Yanning all raised their cameras and online, the "scum men gang" topic that had everyone abuzz for a while was finally taken over by something else.
Amidst the shutter sounds rising and falling everywhere, the Earth completed one orbital revolution.
"'The Neighbourhood Committee of Rongxian Street wishes everyone a Happy New Year. We would like to remind our comrades to be careful during the holiday period and that setting off fireworks and firecrackers are prohibited within the city area'... tsk, what the hell. Who lights firecrackers during New Year? That's tacky." Yang Yifan skimmed the notice on the wall, then turned to pound on her grandfather's door. "Old man! Old man!"
Sect Leader Yang was burning incense, making tea and studying a weiqi game record. Her pounding shook him, causing him to accidentally knock against the weiqi board and send the stones flying.
Old Master Yang sighed heavily. "What are you doing! A person of noble character should be calm and composed, and there are rules to follow when sitting, laying down and walking. Just look at you… Hey! I'm talking to you, you're a grown woman now! Can't you pay more attention to your behaviour?"
Yang Yifan had directly put her skirt on over her clothes and was taking off her pants as she walked. She had just taken off one pants leg and was hopping on one foot. "I'm going to be late... The neighbourhood committee is giving out flu shots during the holidays. I've registered for you, it's tomorrow morning. I can't get up so early, you go on your own."
Old Master Yang slowly picked up the stones and snorted. "I'm not going. Looking for illness where there is none, why would I want to get injected?"
Yang Yifan struggled out of her pants and put on her makeup while standing. "If you wait until you're sick to get vaccinated, it'll be too late!"
Old Master Yang argued forcefully, "Getting a small illness or two is just like opening the sluice to release the floodwaters. If you train your body and strengthen your immune system, getting a cold is nothing bad."
Yang Yifan nearly poked her eye with the eyeliner. Blinking furiously, she spoke angrily, unable to restrain her rage. "Your group of scoundrel friends is just a distribution center for rumours! And a cold is not the flu!"
Old Master Yang retorted, "If you feel cold, then it's a cold, what else can it be?"
Yang Yifan didn't want to waste time arguing with him. "Anyway, just go. I've already paid for it."
Old Master Yang curled his lips. "Everyone in our courtyard who is above sixty years old gets free jabs. Don't try to trick me."
Yang Yifan, "..."
These old people, the general knowledge they should know was utterly lost on them but when it came to things that they shouldn't know, they were more quick-witted than monkeys!
Because of that, President Yang seized the green walking stick that Sect Leader Yang usually carried around, supposedly the Beggars' Sect Dog Beating Staff—the real thing was a genuine antique but it was unknown if this one was real or fake—and said, "If I find out tomorrow that you didn't go, I will set this shitty stick on fire."
The calm and composed Sect Leader Yang leaped up. "Put that down! You… You're being insolent!"
Yang Yifan felt that "insolent" was a praise. She wedged the stick under her arm, picked up the heels she was planning to change into for her evening party, and turned to leave.
"Come back here, where are you going!"
Yang Yifan stepped into the elevator. "New Year's countdown party!"
Old Master Yang ran out after her. "It's a festive occasion and you… you're not coming home to eat?"
"Go eat with your Goddess Zhang upstairs. I won't disturb the two of you…" Yang Yifan's voice was cut off by the closing elevator door, and she left a corridor of perfumed air behind her.
Old Master Yang stood there alone for a while. Then, he leaned against the corridor window and watched his granddaughter drive away downstairs. Only then did he return to his home, dejected.
The nearer it was to the end of the year, the busier the young people were. And this was just the Gregorian calendar's New Year. When it was Spring Festival, his precious granddaughter might be physically at home but she would always have her laptop on her lap and two phones in her hands, alternating between sending voice messages and typing, so busy that eight hands wouldn't be enough for her to use. She would have even less time to listen to his old man prattling then.
Usually, he could still thicken his old skin and go upstairs to look for Zhang Meizhen. However, Meizhen wasn't home these past two days. He heard that she had joined a holiday tour for senior citizens and had gone to Sanya.
The old fools were finding it harder and harder to keep up with the times. Their friends were getting fewer and fewer, and their days duller and duller.
Old Master Yang sighed. Slowly, he returned home. On the very last night of the year, his companion was a weiqi game record.
In the central business district, Yu Lanchuan nodded and said "Happy New Year" to his colleagues walking by. He was also preparing to go home. In the entire year, it was rare for them to have even a few days where they could go home on time and didn't need to order food delivery at the office. Everyone was a little restless, busily discussing where to party that night.
"Director Yu!" His assistant rushed over on her heels and stuffed a paper bag into Yu Lanchuan's hands. "This is the steamed rice cake my mum brought here. It's a speciality from our hometown. Take it home, add a dish to your meal."
Yu Lanchuan had no misgivings over accepting things from other people, and accepted gifts like he was receiving an offering. He nodded solemnly, "Mm, help me wish your parents a Happy New Year."
The assistant gave him an embarrassed smile, then said shyly, "I… still have a presumptuous request…"
Director Yu looked at her loftily and thought, I'm afraid I will have to turn this down. I am strongly against office romance.
Then, he heard his assistant ask, "Do you have any more of the 'anti-Mercury retrograde' charm that you gave us the last time?"
Yu Lanchuan, "..."
"Yeah!" Immediately, someone next to them spoke up. "It's very effective! During the last Mercury retrograde, nothing went wrong with my computer!"
"Saturn is going to go into retrograde soon!"
"Oh my god, can't they just orbit properly? I was just wondering why I've been getting a crick in the neck upon waking up these past couple of days!"
"Director Yu, can you help me ask your friend and get a fortune-changing talisman for the new year for me?"
Director Yu was wide-eyed and dumbstruck. Have all of you gone mad?
Just like that, bearing a heavy proxy-shopping mission on his shoulders, Director Yu came to Star Dreams after work.
On the very last day before the holiday on New Year's Day, the schools were on holiday and offices finished work early. The tiny Star Dreams had more customers than it could handle and Gan Qing had no time to pay him any attention. Yu Lanchuan had no choice but to hang around and check out her items of feudalistic superstitions.
The planners patterned with six-point stars were selling briskly. They were differentiated by astrological signs, with a total of twelve versions. Every week was printed with a newly-compiled horoscope, bright and colourful. Yu Lanchuan flipped through a couple of pages and let out a snort of laughter. He thought, What utter nonsense.
Next to them were a lot of small items for praying for fortune or for romance. Yu Lanchuan didn't even want to touch them. Quantity over quality.
In a corner, the cards for various planets in retrograde and fortune-changing cards were displayed. The moment Yu Lanchuan recalled that he had to buy a stack of those, he felt so nauseous that his face paled. He felt a little like not going to work anymore.
Right then, the door chime sounded—yet another customer had entered the shop. Yu Lanchuan turned his head to see and to his surprise, he saw Yu Yan with a colleague. Filled with the joy of schadenfreude, he thought, The neighbourhood police is here to crack down on feudalistic practices.
But what he saw was Officer Yu Yan taking advantage of his height to stretch his neck out, lifting his head above the hordes of young people, and ask Gan Qing, "Teacher Meng-Meng, do you still have anymore of that pink crystal bracelet from last time? I'm introducing a customer to you, he wants to give one to his girlfriend!"
Yu Lanchuan, "..."
The current day youth had already collapsed! Collapsed all the way to twenty thousand miles below the sea!
After working hard to send off a large batch of customers, Gan Qing could finally squeeze out some time. She counted out fifteen fortune-changing charms, her fingers looking like they were counting money, and passed them to Yu Lanchuan. "Twenty yuan each, dear. Thank you for your business. Happy New Year, may you be blessed with great fortune."
Yu Lanchuan said angrily, "Why has the price increased by five yuan!"
"Because it's popular, dear," Gan Qing answered matter-of-factly, then her expression changed. "Wait… Little Master Yu, put your phone down first. Let's talk nicely if there's anything. How about I give you a wholesale price? 19.50 yuan… nineteen, I'll round it down!"
Yu Yan watched from the sidelines in amusement, laughing heartily.
Yu Lanchuan gave him a kick, then swiped his card while criticising him. "What's the difference between people like you and those who line up to burn joss sticks at midnight?"
Gan Qing and Yu Yan spoke in unison, "This is trendy."
Yu Lanchuan, "..."
"A-Lan, don't be so strict," Yu Yan said to Director Yu, the staunch believer in materialism. "Young people seek to change their fortunes and study the arcane arts; middle-aged people pray to Buddha and count their prayer beads; old people join healthy lifestyle cults and group buys for health supplements—everyone has a safe harbour for their mental state. It's a good thing. Oh, since you're already here, why don't you treat us to drinks next door? Let us drink to world peace."
Ever since Yu Lanchuan moved to No. 110 Courtyard, even though he was bothered day and night by his oddball neighbours until he was going mad, he had become a lot more generous. He didn't have to pay rent or drive anymore, and the money he saved was about twice Officer Yu's salary. This gave Yu Lanchuan ample breathing space and even working overtime didn't seem so detestable to him anymore. Even though he was still doing the same thing, the mental impact from "forced by life to work hard and scrape a meagre existence" was not quite the same as the mental impact from "work hard and fight for one's career."
"What peace?" Yu Lanchuan threw his wallet at Yu Yan in distaste. "Have you guys investigated the high-rise burglaries?"
Yu Yan was at the entrance, calling out to Boss Meng next door to put in his order verbally. It was obvious that Mudpool Backlane was an important job location for the local police. Yu Yan had been transferred here for barely a year but was already a familiar face.
After Officer Yu was done hollering, he turned back to say, "Nope. The Spiderman from your courtyard is still the most suspicious one. After all, there aren't many who can climb up walls freehand."
Gan Qing dragged her words out, "Oh, surely not…"
Yu Lanchuan cut her off. "Speak properly."
"'mkay." Gan Qing tried to find a "proper" tone and regained her usual speech style. "That Spiderman buddy, even getting him to speak a few words to another person is like asking him for his life. 'Someone else's home' is like a dragon's pool or a tiger's den to this friend of ours. He wouldn't dare go even if you invited him, much less break in himself."
Yu Yan thought a while. "Makes sense. Sigh, let's not bother with that anymore. Nothing went missing anyway."
Yu Lanchuan asked curiously, "Didn't you say previously that someone lost some money?"
"Not money, it was a card wallet," Yu Yan said. "Later on, the victim came by to say that he found his card wallet. The thief didn't take it, it was his pet cat that dragged it under the sofa."
"He has a cat at home?" Gan Qing looked thoughtful. "Those homes that were broken into can't all have cats, right?"
"You don't say, but I think they do." Yu Yan was briefly jolted. "People nowadays keep cats if they can afford to or feed their addiction online if they can't. Cats are everywhere, Planet Earth is going to become Planet Cat."
As he spoke, he went next door to pick up the drinks.
Yu Lanchuan glanced at Gan Qing and asked in a whisper, "Did you think of something?"
Gan Qing turned her face over and Yu Lanchuan's breath hitched. Her grey contact lenses seemed to contain whirlpools and it made a person dizzy, especially when she was smiling.
The Gan Qing who had made the alliance leader dizzy said mysteriously, "I was just thinking that maybe there aren't any high-rise burglars at all, and that it was just a cat demon visiting its friends."
Yu Lanchuan wanted to give himself a slap. Why had he still not learned his lesson and still believed that he could hear normal words come out of her mouth?
The little mute girl at the pet store near the gate of No. 110 Courtyard—the name tag on her chest was written with the name "Qiao-Qiao," a name that suited her well[1]—quietly looked up. She saw that there was a little kitten on the roof that had somehow climbed up but couldn't get down. Its tail was trembling and it was shivering, crying out.
She carefully looked around her. At this hour, the street was very quiet. Everyone was either still at home or had gone to the popular business districts to join the countdown parties. Taking the chance when no one was passing by, Qiao-Qiao took three running steps and, with a flash, lightly "flew" up to the roof. She looked just like a cat that manifested a human form.
The kitten was uninjured. It even sniffed around restlessly in her palm, treading all over. Qiao-Qiao grinned and was just about to climb down when she suddenly heard something. She raised her hand to lift up the kitten and hid warily behind a large tree next to the store.
A few seconds later, from far came the sound of a motor. A man wearing a helmet passed by on an electrical three-wheeled cart that had a pile of cardboard boxes on it. In the middle was a human-sized sack. In the deserted street, the rider held the handlebars with one hand while cursing into his phone. "I told you guys to keep an eye out and to be careful. Yanning is a place with lots of people and prying eyes, don't you know? If you give me any trouble… Fuck!"
The surface of the little street was uneven. The rider was focusing on his call and not on the road, and accidentally rode into a large pothole. The three-wheeled cart bounced violently and the unfastened cardboard boxes fell all over the ground. The sack was nearly bounced off the cart too. The man hung up and angrily got down to pick them up. Right at that moment, something seemed to move slightly in the sack but the man didn't notice it. He shoved the sack deeper into the cart. There was a muffled sound of something colliding.
After the three-wheeled cart was gone, Qiao-Qiao slipped down from the tree, carrying the kitten. Her palm covered the shivering kitten and she mouthed soundlessly, "People are really bad."
The pothole on the street had been there for a long time. No one repaired it and it gaped open in a spot where the streetlights did not shine. The people living nearby were used to it and could detour around it with their eyes closed.
The neon lights of the business district pierced through the clouds, the clamour audible even from far away. Near midnight, everyone came to a stop and listened to the seconds ticking by with their breaths held. Some suddenly felt desolate, while some were filled with anticipation, as though with the passing of a year, their lives would be different in some way.
On the first day of the new year, the new inhabitants of 804 that had been vacant for barely a month moved in. Old Master Yang was worried for the safety of his Dog Beating Staff and yielded in the end. Early in the morning, he went to the community center and waited for his turn to receive the vaccination, and saw the moving van enter the courtyard.
A cab followed behind the moving van. Before the cab came to a complete stop, a woman pushed the door open and got out, a foul expression on her face.
Old Master Yang sat up straighter. The woman looked rather familiar.
At that moment, a man got down from the cab. In the cold of the last month of the lunar calendar, he was sweating all over. He hurriedly paid the cab driver, then panted for breath as he rushed after the woman, saying something in a low voice.
These two people seemed to be husband and wife. The woman looked around thirty-seven or thirty-eight years of age, while the man's age couldn't be determined. Once a man grew a large belly and started losing hair, regardless of whether he was twenty-five, thirty-five or forty-five, he would look just like any generic uncle.
"Oh." An auntie next to Old Master Yang poked him. "Look at that, isn't that Xiao-Han and his wife?"
Old Master Yang muttered, "...It's really them."
"Ai, back then when the house price went up just a little, he was all agitated and wanted to sell off his apartment. I advised him not to but he just had to argue with me and say that the house price wouldn't go up anymore." The auntie slapped her knee and said regretfully, "He only sold it for about two million yuan back then. Try buying it with that price now and see where it gets you! How did the saying go again? This is why you should listen to old people!"
For once, Yu Lanchuan was on leave. He had turned down all invitations to party and was at home being an idler for half a day. Early in the morning, using various excuses as pretexts, he had gone to disturb Gan Qing three times. It was only when the next door apartment's door slammed shut and Gan Qing left to go to work that he finally had nothing to do.
Yu Lanchuan was used to being busy. The moment he was free, he felt uncomfortable all over. He paced around like a caged animal and then recalled that there was still a living thing in the house that could relieve his boredom, so he went to knock on Liu Zhongqi's door. "I usually don't have time to teach you. Come here."
Little Brother Liu thought that his older brother was going to teach him martial arts and was so happy that he nearly leaped up to the ceiling. He ran joyfully out of the room. In the end, he saw Yu Lanchuan take out a DVD and started playing the original version of the animated film The Lion King at home.
Actually, watching a movie was fine too. Even though the unloved teenager Liu Zhongqi was rather disappointed, as long as his older brother was willing to accompany him, he was very satisfied.
However, this accursed older brother was not willing to let him watch peacefully. After every two lines spoken in the film, he would pause it and make Liu Zhongqi repeat what was said. If Liu Zhongqi could not repeat them, he would replay those two lines. After listening eight or ten times, he would write out every single word in every single line, make the teenager chew on them word by word, and then repeat them.
Liu Zhongqi, whose English score typically hung around the passing mark, was tormented until his eyes were staring at some fixed point before him. By the end, he just wanted to directly jump down from the tenth floor. Just as he was woefully mulling over his next run-away-from-home plan, he was saved by the doorbell.
Quick as lightning, Liu Zhongqi leaped up, happily rushing to open the door. "Hey, Grandpa Yang?"
Old Master Yang had brought an unknown middle-aged man with him. When Yu Lanchuan came out, he saw the man smiling widely and putting down a carton of milk at the front door. "Is Little Master Yu home? In the past, I didn't have a chance to pay a visit. Due to troubles at home, I also did not attend the general assembly. Ai, it's my bad. My surname is Han, full name Han Dongsheng. I just moved into the eighth floor."
T/N:
[1] Qiao-Qiao 悄悄 qiāoqiāo means "quietly" or "stealthily."
Also, I just want to note that the Dog Beating Staff, like Beggars' Sect, is part of popular wuxia lore.