Book 4: Loss of Focus

Every time it was Spring Festival, cities like Yanning would become empty. Every road was wide open all the way to the horizon and every train at the subway was like a special carriage for reserved passengers only. The steaming hot urban heat island had its heat temporarily turned off. And so, on the eve of the Lunar New Year, the snow drifted down silently.

In the garden of No. 110 Courtyard, the evergreen pine trees were garlanded with snow-white frost. More than half the private cars occupying the courtyard had been driven away and the little courtyard was emptied out. Only the little electrical car that advertised the "Acupuncture, Moxibustion, Flower Garlands" one-stop service was parked all on its own at a spot near the gate. Someone had used their hand to draw on the snow covering the rear window and written the "auspicious" greeting: To Pro-mort-ion and Wealth.

Star Dreams's business wasn't very good recently. There was barely a single sale in a day.

A lot of people broadly categorised both New Year's Day and Spring Festival as "celebrating New Year's" but in actual fact, the latter was not the former and they were even as different as ice and fire. The Gregorian calendar's New Year's Day was the peak season for business at Star Dreams. The young people who came to buy lucky charms for the new year came wave after wave and Gan Qing had been so busy that she hadn't even had the time to drink a gulp of water. The Spring Festival a month later was an entirely different scene. Those noisily trendy young people seemed to have melted away in just one night, mingling with their own families, big and small. If it weren't because they could still make a sound online, it would seem as though they had disappeared from the world.

Since there weren't many customers, Gan Qing also did not stay in the shop and waste electricity. She closed the shop early and went home.

Boss Meng gave her a red packet and vacation days until the third day of the new year. It didn't matter to Gan Qing whether or not she was on leave, this job of hers didn't require her to rack her brains or exhaust her energy anyway. It was about the same as being idle. She turned the red packet over; it was quite thick so she was extravagant for once and went to a department store that was still open. She bought a box of éclairs and brought them home to eat. She didn't prepare any New Year's goods—New Year's goods came in bulk; she was celebrating alone and at most, she could only throw in an occasional half portion for Zhang Meizhen. If she hoarded too much, she would have to eat until she couldn't move.

Supermarkets don't even close shop during Lunar New Year's nowadays anyway. She could shop whenever she wanted to eat.

But with this, it felt like there was something missing from the celebration, like it was a shoddy job and there was something lacking about the feeling.

In the end, she had not resigned from her job and moved out. She just continued to stay at No. 110 in this uncertain state.

Perhaps people could really change. Gan Qing vaguely felt that if it was her past self, she would turn and leave the moment she decided to go, and wouldn't wait for others to finish saying even a single word.

At seventeen, the way she conducted herself and interacted with the outside world was like a hot knife slicing through lard. One cut and everything would be sliced cleanly regardless of what it was, without any loose ends at all. Now, she was like the lard that had been cut, sticky and soft and lumpy. She desired nothing more than what was enough to get by with, and she remained sticking to wherever she was placed… In any case, it was the same whether she was the knife or the lard, neither could escape the chopping board.

She was just about to enter the apartment when she bumped right into Zhang Meizhen. Zhang Meizhen had just got her lashes done and when she blinked, there was a breeze that made Gan Qing lean back. Without waiting for Gan Qing to speak, Zhang Meizhen caught her by her waist and reached back to pull the door shut. She pushed Gan Qing ahead, leaving no room for argument. "Go, go, go. Go downstairs and celebrate the Lunar New Year. We'll have New Year's Eve dinner with them."

Gan Qing, "I'll pass…"

Zhang Meizhen lifted her hand and turned off the apartment's main electrical switch. "Nonsense. If you don't come, who's going to make the food? Isn't this exactly what your sect practices?"

Gan Qing, "..."

Wan Mu Chun was really not one of the New Oriental Education culinary school branches.

Just like that, before she knew what was going on, Zhang Meizhen had brought her downstairs.

Old Yang's house was bigger. Yang Yifan had bought the next door apartment and opened the wall between the two units so it looked exceptionally bright and spacious.

Han Dongsheng and his family, Yu Lanchuan and his younger brother, Yan Hao… everyone was there and it was so lively that it was even a little noisy.

Old Master Yang was at the front door, holding the jade-green Dog Beating Staff. Once he saw Gan Qing, he beamed at her and said in greeting, "It's a new year."

Gan Qing answered on reflex, subconsciously replying with a New Year's greeting. "Sect Leader Yang, Happy New Year."

After saying that, she herself was stunned. This was something Wei Xiao had taught her when she was very young. Wei Xiao had said that when the older generation brought up the topic of the new year, she should be sensible and give them a New Year's greeting. She must not wait for them to take out the red packet and only make up for it then.

The things she had been taught since young were rooted deep inside her and would always slip out when she was unaware.

In the next moment, Old Master Yang had stuffed a red packet into the hands of the still-stunned Gan Qing.

"Ai," Gan Qing hurriedly withdrew her hands. "This isn't appropriate, I'm already-"

"It's mainly for good luck," Old Master Yang said. "The money inside is for you to help buy the ingredients… That pile of rubbish New Year's goods that Fan-Fan ordered came in a large box but when we opened it, it was all small pieces of meat about fifty or a hundred grams each. They can't be used at all. I made a list, the supermarket downstairs should still be open. Go, quick!"

"...'kay."

"Yang Yifan!" Old Master Yang shouted into the house. "It's all your fault! Go along to carry the things!"

Yang Yifan was holding her phone up to take a selfie. She had stretched her neck out a kilometer long to show off her earrings and probably did not hear him because of that.

Yu Lanchuan draped his coat over his shoulder and stood up. "I'll go."

When putting on an outer garment, most people would first stretch out one arm and put it through the sleeve, then hunch their back to tug the garment on, and after that there would be a round of fumbling to locate the other sleeve. During this process, the coat would usually bunch up at the back of their necks and the outline of every curve and bulge on their backs could be seen through the tightened cloth. It was not a sight that was pleasing to the eyes. But Yu Lanchuan was different. He was like a male model ready for the catwalk. He draped his coat over his shoulder, showing off his shoulders and back that were straight like a clothes rack. As he walked, he put on a show with a cool, detached expression. When he was done being cool, he pulled the coat up a little by the collar, then extended both arms and slipped them through the sleeves. The bottom edge of the coat flared out with a bit of wind. It was full of elegance and confidence.

Gan Qing nearly had her head smacked by his elegant and confident elbow. She hurriedly took a few reverential steps back so as to not affect his performance.

In the supermarket, there were very few people. The promoters who usually put all their effort into marketing their products all had their hearts set on going home and didn't even make the effort to greet them.

Gan Qing pushed the cart, her feet stepping in time to the beat of the song "Gong Xi Fa Cai" playing in the supermarket. She followed idly behind Yu Lanchuan and realised that she didn't have to take care of anything.

Not only did Little Master Yu have a style when putting on his coat, he also had a style when browsing the supermarket. Every time Gan Qing came on her own to browse the supermarket, she really "browsed." She would push the cart between the shelves of goods, walking back and forth aimlessly. When she thought of something, she would get it. She would spend at least an hour. But not Yu Lanchuan. He seemed to be used to rushing for time and was efficient in everything he did. When he entered, he glanced at Old Master Yang's list, then rapidly planned his route. Like the autumn wind sweeping the fallen leaves, he picked the items as he walked. From the entrance to the exit, he did not reverse a single step. By the time he had gathered everything on the list and even including the time it took to pay, less than fifteen minutes had passed.

Gan Qing gasped in amazement. "I'll do it, I'll do it. You are the main purchaser, I am here to carry the bags."

Yu Lanchuan raised his arm, dodging her, and took the heavier bag. "Your arm can't carry it."

After saying that, he paused a while. As though he wasn't used to being nice, he had to add another line. "Your arm only has the ability to stir up trouble, it can't do proper work."

Gan Qing, "..."

This guy really knew how to make people like him.

At the supermarket exit, there were a few small stalls that were unexpectedly still opened. A girl was on duty at a "So-and-So English" booth all on her own. Whenever she saw someone, she quickly approached them and gave them a flier, her mouth rattling off a string of sentences like a machine gun. "Do you want to increase your monthly salary from 3,000 to 30,000? Do you want to achieve a breakthrough in your work and experience a huge leap in your social class? The largest gap between any two people is pulled wide during the time outside of the eight hours of work! When you come home from work, don't just lie on the sofa and watch variety shows! Your peers are already leaving you behind! Please take a moment to look at our TOEFL and IELTS training, and our Business English improvement classes. Our Spring Festival class starts on the fourth day of the new year. We have limited spots left. Let us accompany you on a rich and fulfilling holiday."

Yu Lanchuan, "..."

The girl was in her early twenties. Perhaps she had just entered society not long ago and had yet to develop an eye for judging people and treating them accordingly to their perceived wealth, so she spouted the same set of lines to everyone. Yu Lanchuan almost felt offended.

"If it's so effective, then why don't you join and get promoted?" A little crossed, he carelessly threw out this trump card. "What's the difference between 3,000 and 30,000? Either way, both are still equivalent to being dirt poor."

The girl was stupefied by the King of Cool's aura. For a moment, she didn't know how to respond.

Gan Qing felt that she looked rather pitiful, so she took the flier from her. "It's Lunar New Year's, why are you still manning the booth here?"

"The competition in the market this year is too great. Everyone goes for online classes nowadays and aren't willing to register for offline classes. We've not met the enrollment target for a few months now." The girl handing out fliers shrank back into her down jacket pitifully. "There's no bonus and I only get the basic pay every month. I don't have the money to go home to celebrate Lunar New Year's. Sister, can you do me a favour and register? You don't have to attend and you don't need to pay. Just leave a contact number. In the future, they might give you a call to try and sell their classes to you. If you find them annoying, just block them. For us who man the booths, our performance is measured based on the number of registrations."

Gan Qing didn't mind being bothered on the phone. Everytime she got a marketing call, she could even chat a bit with the other person. Hence, she easily helped the girl out and registered.

To show her gratitude, the girl gave her a packet of tissue that she had dug into her own pockets to pay the cost for. She also said cautiously, "Even if it can't increase your salary, it's a good thing to learn a foreign language. In the future, you won't need subtitles to watch American TV series… Ai, all right. Then, take care on your way back."

Yu Lanchuan still wanted to turn around and say something but Gan Qing pulled him away. "That's enough, Little Master Yu. The girl spends every day standing outside the supermarket entrance to give out fliers, she probably hasn't seen many successful people. This is what you call 'has eyes to see but fails to recognise Mount Tai,' it's understandable that she did not recognise someone venerable like you going incognito among us ordinary people. Life's not easy for any of us, don't say so much."

"They can market their stuff all they want," Yu Lanchuan said with a frown. "I just can't stand seeing them sell anxiety everywhere."

"The people's anxiety is not due to them selling it." Gan Qing huffed a laugh. "A fanned spark becomes a fire, but you need to have a spark to fan in the first place."

Yu Lanchuan suddenly thought of something. He paused, then pretended to bring it up casually. "That dim-witted younger brother of mine did better in his end-of-term English exam compared to the previous one. He said it's because you taught him. Your results in school must have been pretty good?"

"Nope," Gan Qing said. "That was my rebellious period. I thought that going to school was boring and frequently cut class and got into fights outside."

Yu Lanchuan, "..."

The snow was lighter now, falling like feathers onto the people outside, almost indiscernible. Only the slightest shadow could be seen when the street lights or car lights shone on them.

When the two of them walked together, it was very awkward if they didn't talk. Perhaps Gan Qing was afraid of killing the conversation or perhaps there was magic in the air on the eve of the Lunar New Year that could invite a person to say a few more words.

She paused a while, then added. "Later on, I met an… older sister with a very good temper. She was fussy and long-winded and every day, she would go on and on regaling everyone with motivational stories. She had quite a number of Chicken Soup for the Soul books, stuff like 'In the world, there are only people who cannot think things through, there are no roads that cannot be walked through.' She could memorise those books from the first word to the last… At that time, I was completely fed-up with her."

Yu Lanchuan was rather surprised. Like someone getting the first glimpse of an aurora on a quiet night, without realising it, he was holding his breath in rapt attention. "A friend, or a teacher?"

"Neither, I think. I think I told you before that I have a friend who was abused by her husband. That was her," Gan Qing's voice drifted lazily in the north wind, carried along by the dancing snow in pauses and starts, without falling to the ground. "I found out about what happened to her from other people's idle conversations. At that time, I was young and spirited, and I disliked her a lot. Even though I never did anything, in my heart I thought that there are some people who deserve to be smacked… and she was one of them. She always looked like she wanted everyone to like her and made others feel that no matter how they treated her, she wouldn't fight back. The things she said were also very foolish and she didn't know that she made other people dislike her. But she was also thin and small, and also sick. She would tremble just from carrying a cup of water that was a little heavy. I didn't feel like I could bully her so I could only give her a cold face every time. She didn't know how to read other people's faces. She thought herself that I was pretty nice to her."

Yu Lanchuan glanced at the snowflakes on her lashes. His heart suddenly jolted. He couldn't help but feel that those cynical words hid a girl with a very soft heart.

"She got a set of gaokao study materials from someone. Everyday, she read them aloud beside me but in actual fact, she hadn't even finished junior high. She couldn't understand the materials at all, especially not English. In an entire passage, there was barely a handful of words she recognised." Gan Qing let out a laugh. "I was a kid after all. Even if I flunked my studies, I couldn't control my competitive spirit. One day, I couldn't resist correcting her one time and since then, she clung on to me and asked me questions every day."

Yu Lanchuan asked softly, "And then?"