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2024 is themed 'The Year of You' at NOL. In this blog post Fanny Kondowe shares 4 ways to boost one's self-confidence . She begins with a personal story of her journey to self-confidence.

“One important key to success is self-confidence, an important key to self–confidence is preparation”

Arthur Ashe

When you meet someone for the first time and they say something complimentary or unpleasant about your appearance, in what way do you interpret it?  

With positive comments you gain assurance and it makes you feel worthy or beautiful, while negative comments make you start to feel bothered and this can become prolonged if not dealt with. Thoughts like:

Maybe I’m not good enough.  

Maybe I’m not beautiful or handsome.

We may have all have had a thought like this at a certain point in our lives but they are not healthy thoughts and do a degree of harm to our self-perception.

When I was in high school, a comment was made about me, that I looked like someone’s boyfriend.  The tone it was said with on its own, let alone the hurtful words…never resonated well in my mind.  I started asking myself this question about my looks. 

Does this mean I look like a boy?  

This thought affected my social life and perception of myself so negatively. The way I saw myself physically and intellectually also became destructive since the comment infiltrated my mind. 

However, one day as I started processing these thoughts, I eventually learned the meaning of Self-Confidence and how to believe in myself.  I worked hard in school, and my motivation to pass with good grades made me feel like I was worthy.  Not only that, I enjoyed doing makeup, and wanted to look beautiful to hide the negative thoughts and look I felt I conveyed.  

Perhaps as you read this, my experience echoes strongly with you and you can relate with it. And I tell you. Self-confidence is the key to your success, if you just learn to understand it and build it up.  

There are many ways to have self-confidence and in this blog, I will just discuss 4 ways and how they can help you succeed.

1. Self-Confidence through Social Interactions

This type of self-confidence focuses on being comfortable with others when you interact with them.  I’m sure you have experienced this before, the moment you meet people you become so uncomfortable that your only solution is to go somewhere else and be alone.  This type of confidence makes you agitated when you are with people.  Making conversations seems to be a challenge and you fail to even express yourself.  Sometimes this comes through because of being unfamiliar with the language or not being used to networking with people. If you struggle with confidence in your social circle, try to make small conversations to see if you start to feel less uncomfortable. Overcoming this lack of confidence involves  learning to be around people, talking, building connections and networks.  You cannot network if you don’t know how to make meaningful conversations. 

2. Self-Confidence through Physical Appearance

Body self-confidence is one of the major areas that affects one’s self-esteem.  This is when you look at your appearance and are not satisfied with how you look. You compare other people’s looks to yours and think you look worse in comparison. The world portrays different images of perfection and really no one can measure up to the ever-changing beauty standards. This is not an easy one to overcome. The solution to confidence through physical appearance is acceptance of who you are and finding the right outfits that suit you well and flaunt your best features. Even the parts you claim to dislike, can be flaunted.  

3. Self-Confidence through Competence

Imagine getting called for an interview and not being able to answer the questions. Which results in a failed opportunity. Occasionally, we don't fail these interviews because we aren't qualified; rather, it's because we don't know how to market ourselves. We refer to this as performance confidence. It is the capacity to carry out particular duties as well as competence and capability in areas such as public speaking, work-related tasks, entrepreneurship, and others. When you lack performance confidence, you may find it difficult to handle problems at work and present facts correctly, and sometimes you may struggle to complete tasks believing that you are incapable of doing them. If you struggle with performance confidence, first and foremost, be able to identify the negative thoughts and their root cause.  Aim to expand yourself for personal growth and add more expertise to aid your career growth.  For instance, if you are a chef and struggle to cook a diverse culinary set of meals, then learn more from YouTube or Instagram. Also build competence by developing and investing in new skills such as good planning and execution that will boost your confidence.  Whatever professional you are in, you can improve yourself and become unbeatable in whatever you do. 

4. Self-Confidence through Emotional self-confidence

Lastly, this type of confidence is normally shown when you are under pressure.  There are times when you get so stressed that you can’t focus.  Emotional confidence also manifests itself in the way you handle criticism.  Are you able to accept failure and work through your struggles? I have had moments where I have lost it, especially managing stress and maintaining emotional balance. It is not a good place to be. It drains you and creates discomfort and you fail to handle emotions effectively.  You can overcome emotional confidence by being vulnerable with your thoughts, to be able to share your struggles with others so that you can help what you need. Also, you need to learn to handle criticism well. Be willing to accept constructive criticism, and use criticism for growth. 

Finally, keep in mind that self-confidence is a belief in oneself, and there are a lot of different ways to have self-confidence. Your social interactions, your self-assurance in your looks, your skills, and your emotional stability.  If you are struggling with self-confidence also be aware that it is not just about being better than anyone else, it is about knowing who you are, your capabilities, and the knowledge that will help you to succeed in life.  

This year, make it your goal to build up self-confidence, you can do anything you set your mind to and you are beautiful and handsome, worthy and important. Determination is the goal.

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No Ordinary Life (c) 2024                                                                                                                  Last updated: 17/04/2024

In this blog post, Fanny Kondowe shares 6 time management strategies on how people with busy schedules can maximise their time.

Tags: advice for busy people, blog, time management, work smart, self-management techniques, personal development, life skills, No Ordinary Life

“You will never find time for anything.  If you want time, you must make it”

- Charles Buxton

Everyone has the same amount of time on the clock.  Although, some people have less time to work with, depending on the type of work they do. When you have more time than others, it might be difficult to know what to do with it.  It is a funny world we live in where some people use the same 24 hours to become wealthy, get employment, further their education, and engage in relationships. But for others, the same 24 hours are not spent properly and all you hear is ‘how I wish I had more time’.  At this moment, you get to the point where you wonder, if only I had 36 hours to do more in my life.  A quick question for you. If you were given 36 hours a day, would you say that was enough? All of these are typical questions we might have asked ourselves at certain points in life; and time unfortunately won't stretch itself but you can manage your time better to make the most of time; even the shortest amount of it. In this article, I will share a few approaches that have helped me to cope with working in a busy sector.

1. Plan your day

I plan my day after my morning meditation, which entails thinking about all the tasks I will complete that day.  I even factor in the time for choosing my outfit for the day, breakfast time ,lunch prep among my job responsibilities.  It is crucial to do this since it makes you more organized and ensures that, rather than just winging it you know exactly what you will do on the day.  Making a daily plan is crucial because it enables you to set specific objectives that will improve your day.  

2. Finish the essential tasks, first

Start with the most difficult tasks and work your way down, doing the most crucial ones first.  The challenging ones should always be your first priority.  When you have worked on the difficult assignment first, you have the freedom not to worry about the workload giving you mental liberation. Burnout is less likely to occur if you work on difficult tasks earlier in the day.  Besides that, when you focus on simpler tasks instead of difficult ones that consume the majority of your time, you become more productive. 

3. Avoid distractions

Avoid distractions if you want to manage your time wisely and have a productive day.  Distractions can take many different forms, including those caused by our own psychological thinking, chatting with co-workers for longer than necessary, and browsing social media when you should be attending to your priorities.  Psychological detours can occur when you have unanswered questions in your head, or are thinking about something, which can also be time-consuming. It is challenging to move forward when you have things piling up in your mind.  It's critical to be aware of psychological distractions while working, studying, or conducting business and to speak with someone about them before they become a mental distraction.  So take care of your mind before it becomes a time waster in achieving your goal.   Once you identify these time wasters it will be easier for you to manage your time well. 

4. Know when to say 'No'

You'll also need to learn how to say no if you're a busy person.  In my early years of working in media, I felt everything had to be a yes to becoming an active person and showing off that I was a hard worker.  I therefore agreed to participate in programs that were not mine, took on unclaimed roles, and engaged in activities that were inconsistent with my area of work.  As a result, I eventually got exhausted and stopped working as hard as I once did.  Just pause and consider this, ‘What kind of day would you have, if you said yes to everything? And how would your day be if you declined some of those obligations?’ Saying yes to everything results in you spending more time working on other things than the task at hand, which makes you less productive and lose concentration.   To attain your goals, therefore, you must learn to say no to the other things.

5. Delegate

If you are a busy person, learn to delegate.  It is chaotic for a busy person to wish to finish tasks on their own without assistance.  It’s interesting to see how many of us would prefer to do things our own way.  For instance, we may feel that we are the only ones who can handle the work, prepare the meals, clean the house, and organize the office.  When that occurs, trying to do all tasks alone leaves you feeling completely overwhelmed.  Working in a hectic atmosphere has taught me to delegate work to others, which has relieved the stress I was experiencing in the past. I am now able to have spare time to read a book, watch TV, enjoy my hobbies, and to be able to focus on personal development because of delegation.  

6. Set deadlines

You should also set deadlines in addition to everything else.  Due to your awareness of how valuable every second is and how productive you wish your day to be, setting deadlines helps you overcome procrastination.  Also, it motivates you to keep track of which chores need to be completed and which ones need to be prioritized.  The accomplishments we aspire to make by a given date are kept in check by deadlines.  

Time is crucial in all our daily endeavours.  You can become more effective and advance personal development with time.  For instance, you may prepare to start a business while augmenting your own skills.  On the other hand, bad time management can make you exhausted, sleep deprived, procrastinate, have low self-esteem, and have a negative impact on your relationships.  Everything relies on what you want to do with the time you have been given. 

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No Ordinary Life (c) 2023                                                                                         Last updated: 14/10/2023                             

In this blog post, Claudia Newton shares 3 tried and tested well-known time management strategies to maximise your time, get important things done, avoid distractions and achieve your goals.

Tags: #blog #timemanagement101 #avoiddistractions #goalsetting #personaldevelopment #SMARTgoals #prioritising #scheduling #digitaltools

In today's fast-paced world, effective time management skills are essential for individuals to navigate through their daily tasks and responsibilities. Many of us often find ourselves feeling like "dummies" when it comes to managing our time effectively.

Time is a precious resource that, if not managed properly, can easily slip away from us. By developing effective time management skills, we can make the most out of each day and boost our productivity and performance in all areas of life.

In this article, I will present 3 powerful techniques on how to get things done in good time. Here it goes.

1. Priority Setting: Determine the urgency and importance of tasks

One key aspect of effective time management is the ability to prioritise tasks and allocate our time wisely. This means identifying what tasks are most important and focusing our energy on completing them first. By doing so, we can avoid wasting valuable time on less significant activities. The video below explains the Eisenhower matrix, a task prioritisation technique.

Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT89OZ7TNwc

2. Goal Setting: Setting Clear Objectives with SMART goals

A way of setting goals and working towards objectives is through these 3 steps: 

1. Plan ahead by looking backwards. A good question is: what is the deadline you are working towards?

2. Plan specific tasks for each day (best option) or set weekly tasks (a good option)

3. Create smart goals for the tasks. You can go into detail into what you hope to do. 

For example if one of your tasks is to write a blog post, you can make it a smart goal by stating the word count goal, including that you will edit and proofread and perhaps send it to your line manager or publish it by so-and-so time on so-and-so platforms. Now that’s SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound). 

Another crucial element in goal setting and time management as a whole is maintaining focus. With numerous distractions constantly vying for our attention, it's essential to cultivate the discipline needed to stay focused on the task at hand. This could involve eliminating unnecessary interruptions or setting specific periods of uninterrupted work time. For most people, it will be using the ‘do not disturb’ feature or turning off the phone completely until the work is done. That feeling of accomplishment and job well done does guarantee satisfaction.

3. Scheduling: Use your calendar and digital tools for optimal time 

An effective calendar not only helps you manage your own tasks but also takes into account external factors such as meetings, deadlines, and social gatherings. Over the past year, I have grown accustomed to putting everything I need to remember into my calendar. Salon appointments, reminders to call or check-in on someone, a tv programme I want to watch, you name it. I came across a saying while writing this blog; ‘your phone has a calendar, so use it’. I will also add that your phone more than likely has a clock, notes app, voice recorder, map and everything to keep you organised so use it. Most importantly, unlike a paper calendar (which I have nothing against), it is more mobile (no pun intended).

Effective time use helps individuals avoid procrastination and minimise distractions. By consciously managing our time, we can resist the temptation of mindlessly scrolling through social media or getting caught up in unproductive activities.

In conclusion, developing effective time management skills is crucial for anyone looking to achieve their goals and lead a fulfilling life. So why wait? Start implementing these strategies today and witness the positive impact it can have on your productivity and overall well-being.

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No Ordinary Life (c) 2023                                                                                                              Last updated: 19/09/2023

In this reflective blog post, Fanny Kondowe shares 4 pieces of advice she would tell her teenage self if she went back in time .

Tags: #blog #resilience #womenempowerment, #mentalhealth #personaldevelopment Advice for young people, being confident, self-care matters, health and wellness, careers advice, No Ordinary Life.

Imagine turning 40 and thinking how I wish I could return to the younger me and tell myself things that would make my 40 years of life experience a success.  We all have those moments when we wish we could go back in time and do life differently.  If I were to reset the clock and refocus on myself at the age of 12 years old, these are the 4 things I would tell myself, and I wish to share them with you. 

1. Learn to focus on yourself more 

It was easy for me to focus on other things and not myself.  I started ‘hustling’ at the age of 17 due to certain circumstances and forgot I was still a young girl who needed to embrace my teenage years and live the way my friends did.  I focused on working hard at school and managing small businesses to support myself.  In the course of doing so, I couldn’t take care of myself but others and made sure I helped more where I needed to.  

Life is meant to be enjoyed, and for you to enjoy life you need to take care of yourself physically and mentally so you can focus more on the things that matter.  As much as hustling and making money is important, don’t lose yourself in the process.  Focusing on yourself helps you to be energized and you will be able to perform at your best.  In whatever profession you are today, being a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer, or an entrepreneur, slow down on those busy schedules and do a social activity that will create some momentum in your life and help you to achieve more goals as you start focusing on yourself more. You can take care of yourself by resting, engaging in a hobby you enjoy, or just pampering yourself occasionally.  Remember life is to be enjoyed, and not a burden, so at all costs focus on yourself. 

2. Be Confident

As a young girl, I wished I had someone to tell me how to overcome low self-esteem.  I believed I was not good enough, not pretty like other girls, afraid to make changes in life, was pessimistic, and struggled with comparing myself to others.  This is a killer of dreams and what it does is that it takes a toll on you if you are not confident in handling life’s situations.  I wish I could tell my younger self to be confident and believe in myself.  I have learned to face my fears in life and face challenges as they come.  Don’t be intimidated by what you haven’t tried at all, take that challenge, face it with confidence, and learn from it. If you fail, it’s okay, rise back again, and try it all over until you overcome it.  One of the biggest fears in life is making mistakes and failing. Maybe you fear speaking in public, applying for that scholarship, taking that new job opportunity, or starting that business. Take that step to just face that fear and do it!  You will not lose anything if you try, that’s a good starting point for being a confident person.  Besides that, I have learned that most times low self-esteem is produced by the people we allow into our surroundings.  If a person you trust says you are not good enough, then you might start believing in those messages. It will then be hard for progress to happen in life.  Learn to be optimistic and not listen to the voices that say you are not enough, not good for that job, not pretty, or not worth it.  Start replacing the negative with good thoughts that will boost your confidence.  When you apply for that scholarship, tell yourself that I am an eligible candidate for this, the right person for that job opportunity, or an award winner for this fellowship. Confidence is telling yourself that I CAN DO IT!  That mindset will unlock so many doors and you will start trusting in yourself more. 

3. Surround yourself with people that inspire and support you

The surroundings we live in can sometimes influence who we become. It sounds unreal, but that’s the truth. Have people that will support you in life.  When you want to pursue those goals and dreams, you will need people that will always inspire you to do more.  Sometimes you also need to get involved in social activities and seek out those people that always motivate you. These people that are optimistic about your goals will also help you find connections or good networks for you to go further in life. I wish I had those kinds of people growing up: supportive, inspiring, and always pushing me towards my goals. 

4. Take care of your health and wellness 

Taking care of the body is a vital component for everyone. Whether you enjoy walks, meditation, running, or playing any other sport, physical activity complements mental wellbeing which helps when there are a lot of thoughts and problems taking over your life. When I was growing up, I used to think I didn’t have time to exercise; the only time available was for work and business. I worked very hard and was neglecting my health. If you don’t take care of the body, it has some effect on your productivity. Make sure you take care of yourself, even if it’s just 30 minutes of walking, that is enough for the day. On the issue of mental health, I never talked about the issues badly affecting me. I did not share that I was stressed with work or life and that had a negative effect on the way I handled myself.  I wished I had sought help from a therapist or a counsellor to take me through the process of finding myself back.  When you are worried, stressed, confused, and not sure what to do, always seek help. You will do better when not harbouring problems on the inside of you. 

In ending

These are the 4 golden pieces of advice I would share with my teenage self and I hope they resonated with you too. Rounding up, my younger self could have been brighter if (1) I learned to focus more on myself, (2) I was more intentional in giving my confidence a boost. (3) If I surrounded myself with supportive and inspiring people, and lastly, (4) if I learned to take care of my health and well-being.

What would you tell your younger self? 

Share your comments at the bottom of the page ⬇️ 

No Ordinary Life (c) 2023                                                                                                              Last updated: 15/08/2023

An honest personal blog post to encourage the unemployed, employed but not happy in employment or those simply searching for happiness through the work of their hands or purpose and meaning in life. 

Tags: #motivation #blogpost #mentalhealth #discouragement #peopleproblems #unemployment #stuckness #findingpurpose #happiness #careermotivation

Yesterday, I finally listened to an audio message my father had sent me on WhatsApp. I say finally because, the forwarded audio message had been sent earlier yet remained unopened for almost 48 hours. Following the attachment, he had sent a message which said 'When can we talk?'. Certainly to say, listen to this attentively and call me after.

I let the WhatsApp messages sit on my phone unopened and unread for a few days. I was not in the mood to listen to anything or talk to anyone as I was trying to deal with matters on my mind which were troubling me this week. Among these troubles were thoughts of 'when will these disappointing job application emails cease? What organisation, role and industry will welcome me with all my qualifications?'

And the other thought that came to my mind severally was about people that had disappointed me this week. The thought ringing in my mind was 'how and why can some people be so maliciously-minded?' 

In summary, I was discouraged and the usual companions of discouragement: worry, self-pity and frustration were feelings I was encountering too.

After over half a day of fruitless thinking and staying in discouragement, that same day, I decided to open the message knowing that an encouraging message awaited me. You see, it is typical of my father to say (or send...in this context) something encouraging when he knows I'm going through difficulties.

Anyway, the audio forwarded was a message by American Pastor, Joel Osteen and the 30 minute sermon generally spoke on making the most of time, choosing to be happy, choosing to forgive, choosing to be grateful, choosing to be optimistic even when life sends you the opposite. In summary, the message was about having faith and making a choice to be grateful in different circumstances because someone out there is wishing for what you currently have while you are sad and grieved about it.

I will leave out his examples in this post, but as I listened to the sermon, some of the examples he mentioned described my situation perfectly and I began to feel relaxed. I nodded in agreement, and gradually began feeling encouraged. I even managed to smile and laugh at certain points when all I had done in the days before was wear a fake smile, sad face and a stern expression when my anger up flared from memories of the malice done by some people over the week.

Consequently, the sermon had served its purpose and I didn't feel discouraged anymore. I understood that I had a choice to fix my happiness on other things that were going well for me rather than what wasn't. I also realised that I should learn lessons from peoples behaviour, and rather than let them affect me, I should simply let it go and continue to pursue a peaceful life which is within my grasp and control. 

I say this with a much lighter heart today that letting go frees you. If you can't forgive right now, at least try your best to not keep thinking about it. But depending on the complexity, hurt and abuse caused, please do speak with someone you can trust, a specialist or report it to law enforcement agents; legal experts included. Being a better person does not always mean don't seek justice for wrongs made when the law is broken.

Dealing with emotional baggage is a process and does not get fixed overnight. Overcoming discouragement does not happen at the snap of a finger, but the first step is to place encouraging thoughts and memories in front of you. 

So this is for you. For those who are seeking employment or not getting what their time, knowledge, talent, skill or ideas are worth...yes I am speaking to struggling business owners too. We have to choose to focus on what we naturally bring to the world. Here I am talking about our personality, our personhood, character, the things we don't need payment for. For example, your ability to make others smile or laugh, your ability to speak up for others with a strong sense of justice when they can't bring themselves to it, your encouraging words, your warm hugs or that lovely soothing voice. 

The thing is, when you are not settled in employment or what you feel is your purpose, you begin to feel less of yourself, you may feel bitter and soon you start to feel that people matter more than you because they have more money, a title, a larger network or even more social media likes than you (which might be true but what does it matter?) so don't worry about that, you still have a purpose and a part to play in this world. 

Recognise that you are valuable not for how much you earn, who you know or who knows you but just for who you are. First of all, the fact that you are alive is a more fortunate thing and an opportunity.

If you are struggling to believe your value or purpose then here is a quote for you.

There is hope for those who are still alive—it does not matter who they are. But this saying is true: A living dog is better than a dead [strong my addition] lion.

Ecclesiastes 9:4 Easy-to-read Version 

Let me conclude this post here. Find encouragement in who you are, what you have and make everyday count.

I would like to share with you the message that encouraged me yesterday. Watch, listen and be encouraged, here's the link.

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No Ordinary Life (c) 2023                                                                                                                Last updated: 21/07/2023

In this blog post, Walter Tetteh briefly presents what the future looks like for the young African entrepreneur, the challenges, the setbacks and the way forward. He reflects on recent statements made by government leaders in his home country of Ghana and shares what could make entrepreneurship possible in a fairly challenging environment.

The definition of an entrepreneur does not specify age, but rather someone who can connect the dots. With that said, a young mind with the passion and ability to connect the dots can also be an entrepreneur. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary (n.d.) an entrepreneur is defined as one who organises, manages and assumes the risks of a business or enterprise.  

In the business of entrepreneurship, the size or quality of your market can determine one's success or failure. Not forgetting the quality of your product. In modern times, the product is not necessarily an item, a software, social media platform, products that come to mind. Sometimes, it is a person with a 'brand'. Some people can make it or break it because of who they are, verified by their large following or support of their fanbase. Anyway, that's a story for another day. 

The challenges of entrepreneurship 

Every industry has its challenges. Being a young entrepreneur here in a continent where policies made by government focuses only on attracting large foreign investors forgetting to stimulate the location business is much more challenging. Some other challenges are lack of infrastructure, lack of funding just to mention a few.

In a news report by Starrfm Online (2021), the Finance Minister of Ghana, Ken Ofori-Atta, announced a ban on employment for civil servants. This was a big blow for many; knowing that the civil and public sectors are the biggest employers in the country. In response to this, the Vice President of Ghana, Dr Mahamudu Bawamia advised the youth to venture into entrepreneurship, where they can develop their own businesses to enable them to build a sound future for themselves.  

Addressing the challenges 

For the youth, entrepreneurship has emerged as a potential solution to most of their challenges. The youth here in Africa are increasingly recognizing that traditional employment opportunities are very limited and are turning to entrepreneurship as a means of creating their own economic futures.

I believe that empowering the young entrepreneurs of Africa is vital for driving economic growth thus reducing poverty by providing access to resources. This includes, deliberate effort from governments to drive entrepreneurship and to assist the future job creators. This also includes, the creation of conducive environments to start a business. Most of young entrepreneurs do not make it past registering their business due to the process being cumbersome and very costly. 

On the brighter side  

Thanks to technology, young people are overcoming these challenges. The growth of the internet and mobile technology has created new opportunities for young entrepreneurs by connecting them with potential investors. 

Also, mentorship and networking plays a great role in developing knowledge and skills in entrepreneurship for the youth in Africa. They often need guidance and support as they benefit from entrepreneurs who have been through the same challenges they are likely to face or already facing. Networking with such people provides valuable advice and helps them grow themselves since they are (wait - we are) the future leaders.  

In conclusion, give the young African entrepreneur the right resources and the needed infrastructure and we are very capable of producing the next Youngest Billionaire from African soil. 

Sources

1. Merriam-webster (no date) 'Entrepreneur definition and meaning' . Available at: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/entrepreneur.  

2. Starrfm Online (2021) 'Start your own businesses – Bawumia tells graduates' . Available at: https://starrfm.com.gh/2021/11/start-your-own-businesses-bawumia-tells-graduates/.  

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No Ordinary Life (c) 2023                                                                                                                   Last updated: 31/05/2023

Watch our latest talk with Maclean Mbepula 

In this blog post, Claudia Newton shares on the importance of practicing emotional intelligence in the workplace and how it can affect employee's enjoyment of their roles.

According to a Google definition from Oxford Languages, emotional intelligence is defined as ‘the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically’. [1] 

In simple terms, this means being careful, caring, and empathetic in one’s words and actions.

How necessary! In the human society we live in, we do need emotional intelligence (EI) to better relate with others; known and unknown. Yet for decades, there has been a huge emphasis on ‘IQ’ which measures reasoning and intelligence. Being a reasoning genius is good, but high EI is equally good perhaps better. In a broken world with hurt people, we all need to be kinder to each other.

In the workplace, managers and supervisors need to be kinder and give more attention to the emotional needs of their subordinates. The same needs to be exhibited between colleagues.

Actions such as active listening, constructive criticism with positive appraisal, shared problem solving, inclusion and stress management all promote emotional intelligence and they must not just happen with a top to bottom approach but across the middle approach as well. I cannot count how many times I have heard of colleagues offending other colleagues by gossiping, backbiting and setting them up for failure. In these cases, the saying ‘do unto others, what you want them to do unto you' [2] is so far away.

For years, I knew that I needed to be more emotionally intelligent, however I didn’t take it seriously enough to do better. It wasn’t until quite recently that a friend pointed out how something I had said came across as insensitive that I stopped to think. I realized that my mouth acted faster than my thoughts and I was only repeating what I had been hearing people say to people of my age group. My first lesson was, just because it is widely said, does not make it right. Think first before you speak.

And that first lesson was good enough to cause me to do better. I also reflected on how I had felt hurt in the workplace. I realized that the common denominator between the cases was that the quality of my work came before my emotional health. I know I am not alone, a few people I know will testify and that is why conversations like these ‘Mental Health and Work’ are so important. Many suffer in silence, putting their need for their daily bread ahead of their daily motivation because before long the drive and joy of work leaves them.

The first definition above also includes this statement, ‘emotional intelligence is the key to both personal and professional success’ [1]. Let us all be more kind to ourselves and to each other so that we do well in our lives and in the professional environment.

Happy Valentine's Day! 

Sources

1. Google (ed.) (no date) Google search 'emotional intelligence meaning', Google search. Google. Available at: https://www.google.com/search?q=emotional%2Bintelligence%2Bmeaning&rlz=1C1VDKB_en-GBGB975GB975&oq=emotional%2B&aqs=chrome.4.69i57j0i131i395i433i512j46i131i395i408i424i433i512j0i395i433i512l3j0i131i395i433i512j46i395i408i424i433i512j0i131i395i433i512l2.4546j1j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 .

2. (no date) Matthew 7:12. Bible Gateway. Available at: https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Matthew%207%3A12.

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No Ordinary Life (c) 2023                                                                                                                   Last updated: 14/02/2023

It’s another Monday and you just don’t feel it. You don’t feel inspired, motivated or even feel a little bit yourself. Put simply, you’re not okay and things haven’t taken a turn for the better in the new year. As they say, “new year, new you” hasn’t quite happened for you yet. Can you relate? Because I definitely can.

I have felt that way for the past few weeks and I’ve been taking it one day at a time. I have had to scrap a daily to-do list for a weekly target; just because I just haven’t been able to get things done. But the good thing is, I have had this uninspiring experience before, so I have learned a few lessons to help me cope better. My faith plays a huge part in leading my recovery.I had to go asking for inspiration, then seeking it out through books, blog articles, my holy book (the Bible) and funny enough... conversations with people I hardly spoke with. 

This new year I realized that I couldn’t rely on completing a to-do list to bring me a sense of accomplishment - especially when I sometimes lacked inspiration. What has helped me is building healthy habits into my days. These are actions that I often neglected because I just didn’t have the time to do them when I had a ton of things to get done. Phone calls with friends or loved ones, starting a chat with a friend to check in on them, taking time to actually listen to a podcast and not just skipping through the parts. Reading a chapter and taking the time to ponder over the information I was receiving. I was going through a tough time in a certain aspect of my life. My job was giving me a certain level of dissatisfaction and the more I thought about it, the more it took over my mind. But I forgot that there was so much more to life than my job. There is family, friends and loved ones.

If I may speak to you right now, there is also what you are good at and what you are very passionate about. There is down-time and all the things that you can do with it. So this new year, I will encourage all of us to shift our minds from the things that seem to be giving us stress and go back to focus on what really matters: mind, body and soul. Take care of you, invest in yourself and your people. And life may just begin to look that much brighter.  

Remember Mind, Body and Soul. And if that sounds a bit vague, let me put it another way: live, love and learn.

Live - Determine that a particular problem(s) will not take over the full spectrum of your life. You are equipped with skills and abilities. Start doing more of the things that you love.

Love - Look around for the good people you still have in your life, be grateful and take time out to say Hi.

Learn - Invest in learning something. The language lessons you abandoned, the cooking skills you stopped practicing...learn about a time in history.

So LIVE, LOVE and LEARN.

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No Ordinary Life (c) 2023                                                                                                                   Last updated: 31/01/2023

The role of volunteer blogger/content editor will be to write thought-provoking and engaging blog articles for our website. Blog articles will mostly be focused on careers advice, employability skills, international development, youth development and empowerment, mental health, entrepreneurship, money management and more.

With an additional objective of working with the NOL secretary and creative director to ensure that the communications and marketing strategy is implemented across NOL’s channels to build brand awareness and increase reach and engagement onto our website. The volunteer will have exceptional communication and organisational skills with a keen eye for detail.

View full description & apply

This June, we will be delivering LifeSkills training. LifeSkills is a resource created by Barclays bank. The training will be delivered remotely by professionals from various fields. The programme will include employability skills, financial skills and personal development skills. Sign up here 

The sessions will be happening via Zoom and will run for 6 to 10 weeks. Our first session will be on Wednesday the 29th of June. Sessions for different modules will take place on Saturdays and Sundays as well. 

In the world we live in, there are certain people that we often see, hear about and admire. These are the public figures we refer to as 'celebrities' or 'stars'. Celebrities are people who are known for their achievements in the creative arts or media, they are usually gifted to act, sing, dance, model, create music, fashion and generally all things creative. We admire them because they exude feelings of accomplishment and excellence through the roles that they play.

On the personal angle, I admire them because I feel that they are doing what they were put on this earth to do. They play their roles so excellently and skilfully that we just can't help but love them.

Deep down, we all have the desire to fulfil something unique continually and once we are able to, we will be happier. Purpose is defined as:

• the reason why something is done or used : the aim or intention of something

• the feeling of being determined to do or achieve something

• the aim or goal of a person : what a person is trying to do, become, etc.

So put simply, we want to find a reason to achieve something, and that reason for achievement will be our 'purpose'. 

I sincerely believe that everyone is created for more. Our lives are more than going through education, or working, or slaving, or chilling and even reproducing.

As a young person, the best time to find out your reason is NOW. Do some soul-searching, ask yourself some deep questions. You can find out what it is by seeking out the things that trigger and inspire happiness in you and the lives of the people around you. Take your time and you will find it.

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No Ordinary Life (c) 2022                                                                                        Last updated: 01/07/2022

Today I decided to write something different and also quite difficult. Difficult because it is the kind of subject that you are likely to read a whole book about, so compressing those tons of information into a 3 minute blog post is a challenge.

Here it goes.

Have you ever sat down and thought about your life and certain decisions you have taken? I know you have. We all have. Whether decisions end up leading to a good or bad outcome, it affects our lives one way or another.

I am not one to keep the fact that I have made decisions and choices over the years which I am not proud of because I veered off my dream. In most of those cases, the decision I made was essentially to give up and try something else. My life has worked out alright but that's because between then and now, I have been able to make some careful decisions and steps. Here are a few things to consider in making careful decisions before taking those important steps into it.

1. Don't make decisions in haste.

Here is a quote for you 

                "Take time for all things: great haste makes great waste."  Benjamin Franklin

Ponder is a word which means to pause and think... brood over a decision or situation.

Speeding is against the law and also a number 1 killer including the drivers themselves. Don't speed into decisions or else you might kill your opportunities.

2. Consider past experiences.

Experience is the best teacher as they say. So let's learn from our mistakes and do things correctly the next time.

3. Seek advice.

               "There is wisdom in the multitude of counsellors."  Proverbs 11:14

The quote above doesn't mean you should tell everyone your problems. 

Counsellors are people who are unbiased listeners and at hand to help and guide you. The kind of counsellors you need to seek advice from are people who are 1.mature and 2. experts or experienced. They are better suited to point you in a right/promising direction.

4. Consider end results.

Questions: Where do you want to go? What will the dream look like?

Every journey begins with a destination at hand. Even life has a destination and I am afraid to say that destination by nature seems to be death, not riches.

So before you take any decision, think of what it will give you or what you hope to be doing at point B.

5. Imagine the journey through the decision.

Questions: How do you want to get there? What will the journey look like?

You are thinking of climbing Mount Everest, you must research into what it is like. What kind of terrain does it have? What challenges are involved? How long does it take? What clothing, equipment or gear will you need. What skills and training will you need?

When you have your answers, you can decide if it is a challenge you can handle. You must literally imagine yourself on that journey. Going through the highs and lows you did or didn't anticipate. Keeping your eyes on the destination. And developing solid problem-solving and decision-making skills along the way.

6. Don't journey alone.

There are very few jobs in life which involve working in isolation. Very very few. Almost all jobs involve working in a team.

So going back to my previous point [3] about seeking advice and experts. I am imagining an explorer who wants to journey to the summit of Mount Everest. Did you know that they don't journey alone? At the bottom of the mountain, there are skilled experienced mountaineers who are paid to lead them to the top. Sports people have their coaches. Entertainers have their managers. Employees have their bosses or line managers. Top businessmen/women have their business mentors or strategists too. So life is never about us doing it alone. 

           "Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labour. 

           For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.

           But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up."                                                         Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 

I pray that we find faithful helpers to journey with on our way and that we also be faithful helpers to those we encounter in life. 

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No Ordinary Life (c) 2022                                                                                                             Last updated: 01/08/2022

Happy New Month and welcome to the last quarter of 2022! What a shocker. Time has been running so quickly.

This month's blog post is not the most exciting but it's needful. 

I don't know about you; but I've had money on my mind alot lately. 1 because myself and almost everyone I believe, is feeling the pinch of the global economic crisis. Things have been hard for people and we see and feel poverty and lack all around us. Even the leaders of the "developed world" have been announcing that the economic crisis will get worse due to one or two other factors. The regular civilian in "the west" is feeling the heatwave... now we all know what lack, inflation and poor governance look like.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

So money woes sometimes termed as 'financial woes', what are they?

Let's break it down. Money is money (of course). Woes as defined from a Google search result is 'things that cause sorrow or distress; troubles.' So the overall term means things that cause distress related to money. So for example: debt. The number one money woe which cripples individuals and even nations. 

Debt is a really dangerous thing and often becomes a cycle which is inherited by the next generations. As you know, it's that bad that people end their lives because of it. 

Over the next couple of posts, I will continue to explore the subject of money so take this as the introduction. I will explore how we can develop a better relationship with our money by doing something called budgeting. Yes you know that b word. For today, let's have a short financial literacy lesson.

Imagine we are playing a game of word association and the word was 'money', what words can you come up with?

3, 2, 1 ... Go!

What did you come up with? (Share them in the comments section below)

I made a list of all (or most) of the terms I could think of related to money: Inflation, budget(ing), credit, debit, equity, pension, collateral, capital, loan, grant, APR, stocks, bonds and that was in 3 minutes. 

Oh dear. I forgot salary. And off course assets and liabilities.

Let's start with the last 3 on the list. I will also include some tips for each term.

Salary - the money paid on a regular basis for a job performed.

First tip. Make sure you keep track of your income/salary and budget. 

According to nerdwallet.com (2020), a budget is a spending plan based on income and expenses. In other words, it’s an estimate of how much money you’ll make and spend over a certain period of time, such as a month or year. 

Asset - anything owned that has exchange value. (Collins dictionary, n.d)

Liability - something a person or company owes, usually a sum of money  (Investopedia.com, 2022)

Second tip. Have more Assets than Liabilities. 

You have the power to reduce your liabilities and also increase your assets. But they also depend on the opportunities available to you and how you make the decision to use them. 

I'm going to throw in another term which relates to these 3 terms. Equity. Here are two definitions in relation to money.

1. Equity is equal to total assets minus its total liabilities. (Investopia.com, 2022)

2. The value of a property after you have paid any debts or liabilities or other charges relating to it and shared them among the shareholders (Cambridge dictionary with my adaptation).

So simply, equity is the leftover after all debts have been paid. So here comes the third tip: work and live smart so that your equity reflects the result of your diligence. 

We can all have good equity if we understand short term and long term financial planning and make decisions so that we don't end up in debt.

I'll leave you with 2 quotes from the Bible. 

Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.  Proverbs 21:5 New Living Translation

Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; 

By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. 

Proverbs 24:3-4 New King James Version

Want to learn more about long-term financial planning from the Biblical perspective ?

Why not sign up for the Smart Life People Book Club hosted by NOL's very own Claudia. The book club starts in October.

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Sources

https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/finance/what-is-a-budget

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/asset

https://www.investopedia.com/terms/l/liability.asp

https://www.investopedia.com/terms/e/equity.asp

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+21%3A5%2C+Proverbs+24%3A3-4&version=NLT