"NLP is a technology for success that uses your conscious and subconscious mind to identify vital factors to eliminate dis-empowering beliefs, meanings, values and decisions while increasing self esteem, clarity and a strong sense of self and purpose.”: Nellie Amirah Lim, NLP Certified Trainer. Let's begin with a Great Article from Dr Michael Hall.

So, what then is NLP?

- Nellie Amirah Lim

NLP is for the man in the street
who seeks peace and forgiveness
who needs to heal their wounds
and wishes to let go and be free.

NLP is for the man in the street
who looks for the meaning in life,
who wants to find their true north,
and who yearns to embrace their authentic self.

NLP is for the man in the street
who aspires to live an extraordinary life
who desires to make a difference in the world
and who wants to enrich their lives and others.

NLP is for the man in the street
who craves for more joy and laughter
who pursues pleasure and happiness
and who longs for nights of passionate love.

NLP is for the man in the street
to do even more,
to be even more,
to have even more,
and to live even more......

We are measured by "How we manage when we have nothing; and the way we behave when we have everything."

Sometimes, when I think of all the things that I have gone through and the lessons I have learnt - I think it boils down to these 2 things. To be gracious about what we have and not have. We are never measured by the things we have and acquired, but by the values by which we live our life.

What does gracious mean? The dictionary defined it as "pleasantly kind, benevolent, and courteous". We can be even more gracious in our everyday life, don't you agree?

Sometimes success do get into our head - and we will soon be humbled by life's changing season. When I look into my life in general, I see it's cyclic nature - just like the stock market. Remember, even on the worst down turn in the financial market- there are people who are still making money; and yet most lost. Just like life - we can make the best of our down turn - or we can be part of the mass - and lose ourselves. Remember, the seasons shall pass - the seasons shall change but you always have choice and power to decide who you are.

What we experience each day - our emotional intelligence determines the quality of life we have. That is why when we have total clarity of our values, we can walk tall, head held high, with a smile on your face and a song in your heart. No matter what storms come visit, we can choose to be in the eye of the storm.

I have been going through some tough moments lately - where I felt 'betrayal' and anger. My heart was broken by people I put my trust in. It is rather sad situation, but nevertheless I will hold steadfast to my passion, NLP - and the lessons I have learnt. I need to be able to step out of the situation to see beyond what is in front of me. I took time to reflect again what NLP has been for me -

So, in essence - this is NLP to me.

The value of NLP is Ecology.
That no matter what we do, we will seek the ecological way and have the respect for people, environment and diversity.

The heart of NLP is Outcome Thinking.
If you are totally committed to what you want – you will begin to enjoy the journey – and have clarity and focus in life.

The spirit of NLP is Curiosity.
To see the world, the people and the situation with a childlike curiosity and non-judgmental attitude will open a whole new world to you.

The mindset behind NLP is Flexibility.
When we are flexible in our thoughts, language and behaviour – we are able to go with the flow and steer its course.

The science behind NLP is Modelling.
NLP provides you with the ability to study the techniques, methodology and structure of success in whatever you want to achieve by adopting these strategies as your own.

'We are never measured by our intentions, but by our actions'

Nothing will hold me back. I will move towards the future - fueled with renewed conviction to my outcome and goals. I will hold close to my heart - my values and integrity - to make my contributions count to make this a better world - for my children, family and all.

What I am looking for is not out there; it is in me. - Helen Keller -

As I sit down and reflect on the NLP Practitioner Workshop I had conducted a couple of weeks ago, I realize that we are sometimes struggling with ourselves.

The key to true happiness and joy is the acceptance of who we are and knowing that all we need in is within us. Most of us are even more fearful by the fact that we are powerful beings beyond measure.

We are all a child of God, our playing small does not serve the world. And by allowing our inner light to illuminate, we give permission for others to shine too.

- Nelson Mandela.-

Within all of us are the keys to true happiness and freedom. We do not have to pursue happiness and freedom. It is in everyone of us. We are made to manifest the true power within us - our birth right to be happy and free. So, look deep within ourselves, embrace our love and light, and go out and show to the world, our true self.

Seek and you shall find.

For those who seek to find the meaning of life...
be grateful for who you are.

For those who seek to find the purpose in life ...
listen to your inner voice.

For those who seek to find the beauty of living...
look within your heart.

For those who seek to find the universal truth ...
go deep inside your mind.

And for those who seek to find who they truly are ...
embrace and accept your unique self.

I am blessed to have the privilege and the honour of sharing the journey of many people in their road to discovery. And their journey has inspired and empowered me to learn, to love and to live joyfully.

I'm forever grateful.❤️

One of the Guiding Principles in NLP is

Energy flows where attention goes as directed by intention

Intention is using the power of words or the power of visualization to formulate a desired outcome to occur. By setting an intention we are invoking universal energy to move in a certain direction. Part of this energy is our very own energy within the dominion of ourselves.

However as simple as it seems - we are challenged each day with our daily busy-ness.. and the fuzzy dreams of what we truly want. Some of us are torn between who we want to be and what is needed of us. While some of us may feel we are not good enough to deserve our dreams...Intention is actually something that is always happening, whether we know it or not.

Every thought we think, every word we speak, and every action we do is an intention that is moving us in the direction of a future experience. We are either doing this consciously or unconsciously, but it is happening. If you pay attention you can see how this happens in your own life.

The beautiful thing about this is that we have the power to direct our intentions. We can choose what we think, how we feel, how we behave, and what we say. But we may not have control over the things that happens to us. Yes, we cannot control what happens outside of ourselves, but we are responsible and accountable for our 4 power zones, for how we think, feel, say and behave about what happens. This is where all of our power lies and it is in everyone of us. We already possess this power.

NLP allows you to align your intentions with your actions consciously and unconsciously to achieve your dreams and goals in life. Have we all got down to think about our purpose in life, or of what we want to leave behind as our legacy? Who do we want to be remembered as?

Remember: NLP is a technology for success that uses your conscious and subconscious mind to identify vital factors to eliminate dis-empowering beliefs, meanings, values and decisions while increasing self esteem, clarity and a strong sense of self and purpose.

The most damaging sentence in any language is:

'It's always been done that way.'" - Grace Hopper -

Sometimes we do the things the way it has always been done - because it was well thought out and the reasons were true at that point of moment. However, sometimes the situation and reasons no longer apply. The world is constantly changing... and we need to change to adapt and be relevant. Understanding and appreciating the reasons and situation behind a certain way we do things is vital. When you do something - understand why you do what you do - don't just assume that is the only way.

Change for the sake of change is not what I am advocating. Change too comes with responsibility - to make it even better and to make it even easier. When you are in the initial process of change, first appreciate why things were the way they are. By learning to appreciate what were - your change will be even more impactful and meaningful. You will be able to address the people who 'wants things as they always are' with respect and earning their trusts and get their buy-in effortlessly.

Take a moment each day to reflect - on what you do each day - and ask yourself these questions:

1. why do I need to do this?

2. how can I make it even better? or easier?

After thinking through and identifying the areas you want to change, ask yourselves these questions:

1. how am I contributing with the change?

2. what positive difference am I making?

Life is not just about adapting to change. We all can advocate change - we all can be the advocator of change. We all can choose to lead.

This is one of the oldest cliché; and that is because it rings true in our hearts. We hear it all the time: 'Repetition is the mother of all skills.' That is why it is important to step back and see from another perspective of what we do repeatedly. If we are repeating the same thing over and over again... it just means that we are getting good at it - it does not presuppose that we get it right. We could just be getting good at being wrong.

Just imagine, a young pianist who persistently and relentlessly practice day in, day out... he could very well perfected his mistakes over and over again. What you do repeatedly becomes you... as empowering as that may sound to you... the patterns and strategies that you consistently repeat does not make you successful. What makes you successful is the fact that you can take a meta position [from a different perspective] to learn and understand your structure, and continuously evolve to make yourself better and better each time.

Bring conscious awareness to your actions, emotions, thoughts and communication; so you can reflect on the cause and effects of your life. Many have shared with me, their struggle on 'how to make it work' for them. Why? Why? I have worked my ass off, and still.... I don't seem to get the results I want. My first question to them is 'Do you know of anyone who has made it?'. If you don't know anyone who has achieved what you want to achieve, then go find that person. Because no matter how unique we are, someone out there has something valuable to offer us. Find out what are his/her strategy? What does he/she do, think, feel and say? What is it that makes the difference?

This reminds me of my dearest friend, Elise aka Alicia. She was transferred to our school in Form 4 and has since been my best friend. She is a straight A top student from Johor. I was an average student; and never really place much focus in my school academic achievement. Because my mother bickers at home, I used to really stare at the pages of the school books ... and feeling bored... allowing it fade into blank pages.... and remember nothing... and feeling even more tortured... As for Elise, you will never really see her do revision through the year... but 2 weeks before the exams, she would just take out her books and as if she has photographic memory scan through over and over again smiling, activated and happy. I was with her, and so followed her strategy, and my grades improved for the year... hahaha though I never made it to be a Straight A student. I never ever smiled looking at my books before then... and now I never stop smiling, activated and having fun whenever I am with a book. It makes everything light and easy.

We can go on repeating our patterns and strategies or we can always go out in the world, start noticing and be curious of the success structures of other people that has been there, done that. I have seen many who surrounds themselves with people who are struggling to achieve what they want; rather than with people who have already done it. They feel a sense of belonging, and of comradeship. But if you are really committed to achieve your success, you need more than those in your life.

So, make sure you go out there and be with
people you admire, people who has achieved it;
people governed by their values, people who loves and embrace life,
people who contributes, people who makes a difference in the world.

Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung

I had a profound learning recently during an NLP Certification Program. It further reinforces what I appreciate most about people- that different things impacts different people.

That what we focus on - what irritates us -- or what we find challenging - leads us to a better understanding of ourselves. I begin to appreciate that the very thing - that we are challenged with - areas where we feel and is engaged emotionally about - is our own reflections of ourselves and our beliefs, values and our struggles.

The healthy man does not torture others
- generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.
- Carl Jung

I have always enjoyed finding the finer distinctions in meta programs - of how people operate their model of the world -on how they process information – on how they see, hear and feel about the world around them. Figuring people out is about figuring out what makes them tick.

To love
some people gives you unconditionally
while some people only when you listen to them

To learn
some people focus on what they can learn
while some people on how you should teach

To improve
some people works on themselves
while some people on what you should do

To compete
some people focus on the standards they set for themselves
while some people on constant comparison with you

To energize
some people tear you down thus destroying your dreams
while some people build you up towards your outcome.

To lead
some people needs you to think that they are 'BOSS'
while some people wants you to think of them as an 'ENABLER'.

To excel
some people focus on being 'in conflict', 'challenged', 'competitive' and 'zero sum game'
while some people focuses on 'teamwork', 'contribution', 'creativity' and 'innovation'.

-    Nellie Amirah

Nobody, as long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of life,
is without trouble.
- Carl Jung

I was told recently that I started off in Personal Development from way below – way way below because of my experiences in life – because of what happened to me. And I couldn’t agree more. As many of my readers and friends who know me through the years – I did not arrive where I am now - without adversity and challenges. Nevertheless, my journey was full of variety with a spectrum of joy, abundance and gratitude for my life, my family, friends and my faith.

I am again humbly reminded of my journey – my discovery of NLP that truly transforms my life – allowing me to step up and create even more choices – and the freedom to make those choices – thus empowering myself – and not let the PAST defines me – and the life I have and the life I deserve.

And that is why I believe more than ever that NLP is an invaluable tool to help you help yourself and others – to move forward in the future – with even more empowering convictions and beliefs to achieve your dreams.

And for those fortunate ones – who sailed through life effortlessly without any obstacles – congratulations – for now with the technology in hand – perhaps you can step up even more to make a positive difference in the world.

Many times when we give feedbacks – our underlying intention is to be constructive and to encourage improvement. I realize that giving feedbacks requires specific skills – otherwise, it does nothing more than create a sense of awkwardness and helplessness that is destructive for the receiver.

Why feedback?

Firstly, we need to establish and be clear about our intentions and outcome – of what it is that we want to achieve. Many people masks their resentment and/or discontentment about certain situation – and label it as feedback. The purpose for us to feedback is to help facilitate the receiver’s improvement.

How do we give constructive feedback?

When we give feedback, the receiver must be able to have sensorial feedback in order to make the desired change. Sensorial based feedback – does not only state how you feel, rather it states the behaviour of the receiver – what he says or does which requires changes or improvements.

Saying – “I feel your presentation can be better.” is as good as saying naught. This is not constructive in anyway – as the receiver has nothing to work on – and demoralizes the person [destructive].

Instead if you describe the specific behaviour for example, “You can use more variety in your intonation.” or, “I notice that you have your hands in your pocket about 80% of the time you were presenting. You could make more impact when you use your hands to emphasize the points you were making.”

If for any reasons you cannot pin point the improvement areas, it is best to keep your opinion to yourself – until you can identify the specific areas to improve. Sometimes, how we feel about something – it’s just a reflection of what we are going through in our own lives.

The ability to give constructive feedback is one of the essential skills as a trainer and leader in any organizations. Your ability to have clear distinctions about what works and what doesn’t takes you into another level of expertise. It is interesting to note, that many people are good at what they do, but lacks the ability to chunk and distinguish what it takes to be good.

So what happens when someone gives you feedback?

Most people are not aware of how to give feedback, and when they give you ambiguous and vague feedback – you would want to ask quality questions to get clarity. For example:

“I feel that you are very aggressive in your approach” –

Ask questions – “in what way is my conduct or what I say reflects that I am aggressive?”

If you cannot get any information – in terms of your conduct or what you say – then you may want to ask for feedback from others too.  “How do you generally feel about my approach?” Again, if no one else feels the same – then move on. Do not dwell too much into something that neither improves you nor help build you.

However, when someone offers you constructive feedback – on your actions or what you say – you have the opportunity – the door of change is now open to you – to make those changes – Again, feedback unless given by someone you respect and an authority of the subject matter, you may still require verification from other sources. Feedbacks helps us be better – the ignition for change. However, remember – one man’s poison is another man’s meat. So, it’s vital to check with yourself and others – to process the feedback information – before you become dictated by only what others say about you.

Feedback is the breakfast for champions.

What about unsolicited feedback?

Sometimes, we feel compelled to feedback to others about their performance, behaviour or conduct. However, it is vital to understand your context of feedback – your frame. Do you have permission to give the feedback? Have you earned yourself the right to give your critics and judgment? Do you feel that you are the subject matter expertise? Do you have sensorial based evidence to your feedback? Does it make you feel superior when you have judgment and/or critics to give others? What do you want to achieve from the feedback? Do the other person want to hear what you have to say? Does your opinion or judgment carry any weight? What is your relationship with the person? What are your vested interests? In what way, are you learning from your observations of the other? What is the effect you are seeking? Is it ecological? Do you have a hidden agenda?

When we feel compelled to give feedback to others – perhaps its time for us to look within ourselves and discover what it really means to us. What is the game our mind is playing on us?

Listen to our heart, before we feedback

Take time to sit back and listen to your heart – to truly understand the ‘positive intention’ behind our feedback. When we are critical – when we are able to apply our sensory acuity to uncover the distinctions between what works and what doesn’t – then we can make a positive difference in the world. So begin today – to sharpen your skills by being aware and identifying the little distinctions that makes the great difference – Make your feedback count – make it constructive so it can help build others and yourself.

One of the guiding principles within NLP, that I love - "There is no failure - only feedback." That no matter what we do - we will always get feedback - and feedback is just information - So, as we continue in our journey in life, I trust that you have gained some insights here - and is aware of your frames of mind, when you are about to give feedback - and how you can make it even more constructive for the receiver; but mostly how the feedback you are about to give affects yourself.

Flexibility allows us to go with the flow and ultimately we are able to find our way. Just like the bamboo trees, it bends along with the wind. Remember, the more we resist; the more it will persists. So, it is wise to allow ourselves to let go and go with the flow.

Just like a river, you can't really change its course; but remember it will always end up where it should be. Some of you are probably thinking; 'Hey! People have reverted river paths before'. Ya, and many have to die as a consequence.

We need to always put ourselves out there; being and doing our best; and then to go with the flow. Nothing out there in the world is within our complete control; and that is an indisputable fact. What we need to focus on is our true intent; our values, our integrity, our words, our actions and the ecology.

Let us liberate ourselves from 'perfection'; 'control'; 'self criticism'; 'guilt'; 'over elated ego' or whatever we might feel over any situation and just go with the flow...and allow ourselves to acknowledge, accept and move forward towards the outcome we want.

This is what I have been aspiring for in my life. The liberation of my soul is a continuing process and journey of my life: the total acceptance of the world and myself without prejudice or judgment.

Blessed are the flexible for they will never be bent out of shape.

When I was a little girl in Standard 6, a very dedicated and loving teacher named Mrs Moh of SRK Residensi, wrote a profound quote on my autograph book, "To err is human, to forgive divine". I was then a girl that never forgives easily - vengeance and revenge were my mantra. I could not forgive anyone especially myself for my faults and weaknesses. I thrived on my 'self-rightenousness' of what I believe is right and wrong, of what I believe is true and false, of what I believe is bad and good. That only my beliefs are the 'right' ones. Life seems so simple back then; when things were just black and white.  But I was so misled by my own 'righteousness', that friendships and relationships were severed and lots of hurts and pain even at that tender age. Mrs Moh has inspired me to look beyond through her caring and loving nature. So, I thank you, Mrs Moh from a bottom of my heart.

Recently, I was reminded again of the all powerful process - Forgiveness. To forgive the purest form of love, because only with forgiveness - you can truly experience love, peace and happiness.When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free. Is it possible for us to let go and yet not forgive? When we forgive, is it forgiveness of another, or is it really forgiveness of self?

"Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution." - Wikipedia

Heal Yourself through Forgiveness

What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is about love
Forgiveness is about peace
Forgiveness is about freedom

What does it take to forgive?
It takes courage
It takes strength
It takes compassion

When do we forgive?
We forgive when we let the prisoner free
We forgive when we take our power back
We forgive when we realize the prisoner is us

How do we forgive?
We forgive by remembering the lessons
We forgive by acknowledging the Almighty
We forgive by letting go of our disempowering emotions

Forgiveness stems from the purity of heart
It cleanses us of our guilt, pain and anger
It rejuvenates our spirit and soul
It brings us to close to God.

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -Thomas S. Szasz

I trust that my life is free and I am empowered because I choose to forgive myself and others. And I wish that for all my children. Love is forgiveness.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words;they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Ya, a cliche. But really there must be some truth before it turns into a cliche. Take a moment to reflect on the focus of your mind.

What do you normally think of? What thoughts dominate your life? Start taking notice: because it has consequences.

Learn the language of your unconscious.
Think positive-positive. So what does that mean?

Here's some examples:
1. Instead of 'debt-free' go for 'financial freedom'
2. Instead of 'I am trying to be happy' go for ' I am happy and fulfilled'
3. Instead of 'I don't want to be stupid' go for 'I am intelligent, clever and resourceful'

1. The word: debt (presuppose u need to be in debt first)
2. The word: trying (means an attempt to)
3. The word: don't (you have to think of being stupid before you don't want it; ex: don't think of a purple elephant; what are u thinking now?)

So, be aware and proactive in protecting your RAM space. Be the captain of your own life.

Peace out.

I was listening to hitz.fm.. and the line struck me "When you are angry, you cannot think properly"

This is so true in so many levels. A lot of time when we say and do things we don't mean, it is when we lost our cool. We may be consumed by anger, frustration, fear or worse an elated ego. The key most important skill everyone should have is the ability to control and change our own state of mind and emotion.

So, what can we do to change our state?

Pattern interrupt: do something that stops and interrupt an unresourceful state.

->  You can shift your physiology. Change your body posture: stretch, jump or get up and dance.

->  Divert your focus. Just like we normally do it with crying toddlers; 'look look up there is a lizard'. Focus on something else first

->  Change your language. What do you say to yourself? What if you intensify the positive words and de-intensify the negative words. For example, instead of 'angry' replace with 'a little upset'. Instead of 'happy' replace with 'ecstatic'

->  We can powerfully change the meaning we attach to our experiences. This reminds me of the Thomas Edison story: when interviewed by a reporter about his failures, he answered 'what failures? I just found 10000 ways how not to do it'

When you are angry, you can't think properly; so take time and count to 10; take deep breaths or go take a walk to cool off. This will help clear your mind ... so you can think through your next step of action.

Do not make any impulsive decisions or actions especially when you are in any unresourceful state of mind. We must take back our power and be in control of how we feel, what we think, what we say and what we do.

We must empower ourselves and not give our power away to someone else or some situation.

I was having dinner with one of my nephews - and in his wisdom he offered advice on how his cousins should behave, and correct themselves. I noticed a pattern emerge.  His main focus is in how others should and must do - how everyone else around them need change and transformation - while nothing was mentioned on the areas he needs to work on, how he can improve and an outcome that he maintain.

I sit back - and reflect - how many of us - are externally focused – on how everyone else should do/not do thus setting rules for the world – And on another hand, we don't seem to have any standards for ourselves to be better and to excel.

I think of all the things that has been said about - the politics, the deprived, the unjust things that many just pour out... Many seem to know what's wrong in the world but fail to do anything about it. The next time you notice people talking about the current affairs with all the cynical remarks and criticism – take a moment to reflect on what you are thinking.

I must agree that there are always areas in which we can improve, change and innovate. But having great ideas doesn't move the world. Having knowledge is not power. Doing something about it - is the true power. If only we take actions on things we believe in - rather than constantly blab blab blab.

In the training industry sometimes - the trainers are comparing with each other, how much one is being remunerated for their work, etc. And that is why some of the trainers - feels that they are so much better but are not being paid as much.' I must agree that many trainers are so much better and not able to demand as much but the question is - 'what is the key differentiation in being able to demand the appropriate remuneration?' - for me, is the ability to take action - to have the courage to step up and market and position yourself well in the open market. Since many are much better than most - the only difference is one is hiding behind the security blanket and complacency; while another is taking bold steps in taking risks. Perhaps its not just how well you perform as a trainer, but how well you position yourself.

The same goes with many who has share their discontentment on why others are getting the promotions - while they are performing better. The focus is on performance of the present work; but for promotions it is not only on your current performance but the ability to position yourself for the next job. We look externally on how we want to see the world, how we think the world should operate, perhaps its time for us to think about what we can do. Learning from an open and nonjudgmental frame - learn to appreciate and understand how the world seems to work - and then reflecting on how we can change ourselves.

The question that keeps popping in my mind  is "what are we doing and not doing to contribute to this?" Whenever, we are faced with injustice or we feel passionate about a cause - the power lies in the actions we take. And it always starts with us - ourselves. What can we do to change? What can we do to set an example? What can we do?

Do we live our lives as ‘spectators’ – watching the world – commenting on what should or should not be? Or do we choose our lives as ‘players’ – engaging ourselves – taking actions to make a difference?

If what we see, hear and feel affects us - perhaps we should look within ourselves first.

What filters am I using to process the information around us?
What experiences, history or information am I using to come up with my conclusions and judgments?
In what context am I seeing, hearing and feeling? By what definitions, rules or standards, am I measuring others?

How would I fare - if I was viewed with the same filters?
In what way can I initiate change and empower myself, without putting others down?

We set standards and rules on how others should and must adhere to. I think it’s time we set these standards for ourselves. Those who stand up and speak of integrity must take a deep look within themselves - when they are next stopped for speeding on the highway. We must impose the same rules for ourselves - the same conduct - the same behavior - the same integrity. That is our path towards congruency.

We are measured not by what we say, or how we say it - we are measured by the actions we take and the outcome we achieve.

It is true that the past has an impact on who we are today.

If you look at yourself today, you will either see someone who has overcome obstacles positively, or someone who has maybe let the obstacles overcome them.

In any case, we all have situations and challenges in our life that we might have wanted to play out differently. There are some incidents in my life that I am not proud of, but what matters now is the future for I can’t change my past.

Isn't it better to let go of the emotion and just take the lessons, so that we can all travel light in life. How much time do we spend reflecting on 'what could have been?', 'how i wish?' and 'if only...' How much time do we spend feeling sorry, re-experiencing the pain and harbouring anger and resentment in days long past?

Today, the most vital thing to remember is that:

We all have choices...

to live our life for today...
to be grateful for what we have...
to be proud of who we are...
to be blessed that we have arrived...

while reflecting on our past...
to learn our life's lessons...
to let go of the pain and guilt...
to treasure the beautiful memories...

and looking forward in the future...
to envision new adventures...
to belief in endless possibilities...
to have hope and faith in our destiny...

Yes, we do have choices...
so, let not the past define you or your future today.

The NLP guiding principle that makes a lot of sense to me:

"It's never to too late to have a happy childhood"
Never thought it possible till I experience NLP in my life.

When i first saw this posted on a dear friend's status... it makes me smile all over.

Justification is the manufacturing of Convenient Truths.

• How many times, do we tell ourselves 'stories' so that we feel justified about what we do or not do?

• How many times, do we hear 'stories' about unfulfilled promises?

• How many times, do we tell 'white lies' to make others feel better?

• How many times, do we shut our eyes,  shut our ears, shut our mouth, and shut our hearts to the truth?

• How many times, do we distort, generalize and even delete our perception because it's easier and more convenient?

• Are we really ready for authentic and brutal truths?

Perhaps, it's time for us to be aware of how we cope. Living a life, where we 'cheat', 'lie', and 'fabricate stories' to ourselves is the most disempowering thing you can do to yourself.

Understanding the structure of how we interpret and weave our reality... empowers us to a stress free life.

Then if and when we tell stories or have a need to justify... at least we know it's convenient truth, and not authentic truth. Being totally accountable of our actions and results empowers us to take charge of our life and destiny.

Yes, there will be the 'uncontrollable' external factors at play in our lives. However, when we take accountability of our own attitude, perceptions and emotions, then we will be able to rise above our challenges and triumph.

With NLP technology, you will be able to see, hear, know and understand the structure of how you operate so you are empowered to make changes and have more choices.

So, are you really ready for Authentic Truth?

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian Youth's rite of Passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him an leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.

He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own.

The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold.

It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him.
He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.

We, too, are never alone.
Even when we don't know it, God is watching over us, Sitting on the stump beside us.
When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

Moral of the story:

Just because you can't see God,
Doesn't mean He is not there..
Just because you don't see your friends,
Doesn't mean we are not there.

Great friendship transcends time and space.
Trust, have faith, don't take off your blindfold before dawn.

"For we walk by faith, not by sight."

That's right... sometimes in our life, we are faced with challenges... most of it consequences of our choices. Once we have made a choice, the choice have us. Once at sea, we cannot control the waves... that is why it is vital for us to be flexible... and learn to surf.

The more we fight against the waves... the more difficult we shall be. It is important that we surf and ride on the waves. Challenges in life makes us even more resilient and strong.

What doesn't kill you, will make you stronger.

So I am reminded many times, when faced with the storms of life, that I need to respect and enjoy surfing the waves. Eventually all will pass in good times... because after each storm... serenity and peace will prevail.

Everything will be fine in the end, if its not fine, its not the end.

My son, Mikhail has big dreams and aspirations for what he wants to achieve in life. Here are only some of his dreams that he turn into reality:

• he built a raft to sail into the big adventures, [sailor]

• he has his own herb garden, [farmer]

• he whipped up a 12 treasure broth, [chef]

• he builds his own camp site and campfire, he climbed trees, [scout]

• caught many monitor lizards and snakes, [adventurer]

• fished at the river nearby,  [fisherman]

• nursed many animals from the garden to health, [vet]

Here is sharing with you a profound article that inspires me to dream again....

Dare to Dream Again by Chris Widener

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." Teddy Roosevelt

Do you remember when you were a child and no dream seemed too big? Some of us thought we would walk on the moon; some dreamed of riding with Roy Rogers; others imagined stepping to the plate in a big-league game. Every one of us, when we were young, had a common trait - we were dreamers. The world hadn't gotten to us yet to show us that we couldn't possibly achieve what our hearts longed for. And we were yet still years from realizing that in some cases we weren't built for achieving our dream (I realized about my junior year of high school that I was too short and to slow to play professional basketball -- the dreamer is always the last to know).

Eventually we started to let our dreams die. People began to tell us that we couldn't do the things we wanted. It was impossible. Responsible people don't pursue their dreams. Settle down, get a job, be dependable. Take care of business, live the mundane, be content.

Do you know what I say to that? Hooey!

It is time to dream again!

Why? Here are just a few reasons:

* Avoid regret. The facts are in, and someday we will all lie on our deathbed looking back through the history of our lives. We will undoubtedly think about what we wished we had done or accomplished. I for one don't want to regret what could have been, what should have been. So I am deciding today to pursue my dreams.

* The world needs people like you to dream of something great and then to pursue it with all of your heart. Maybe you belong to a business, school or organization that started out with good intentions but has settled into the same ol' same ol'. Shake them up and remind them of how they could really help people if only they would dream!

* Personal and family fulfillment. One of the things that happens when we stop pursuing our dreams is that a little piece of us dies and we become disheartened, if only in that area of our lives. Stepping up and pursuing your dream rekindles that passion and zeal that everyone has the capacity for and lets us experience fulfillment. Having a purpose puts the zip in our step and the zing in our emotions!

* Making the world a better place. All of the great accomplishments that have ever happened began with a person who had a dream. Somebody rebuffed the naysayers and said to himself or herself, "This can be done, and I am the one who will do it." And in many instances they changed the world for the better. It isn't just the Martin Luther King's and the J.F.K's either. Think of all the people we have never heard of who have started things large and small that help people world-wide every day.

* Leaving a legacy. How will your children remember you? As one who sought all that life had to offer, using your gifts and talents to their fullest extent, leading the family with a zest for life, or as an overweight couch potato who could have been? Our children need to see that we dream; that we search for something better. They in turn will do the same!

So where do we start?

Here are some ideas:

* Reconnect with your dream. Set aside some time to let yourself dream. What have you placed on the backburner in order to live the status quo? Settle on one or two dreams that you can and will pursue. Don't come up with too many. That will only deter you further.

* Decide that you will do it. This may seem elementary but many people never decide and commit fully to their dream. They simply keep "thinking" about it. Tell others that you are going to do it. This puts you on the record as to what you are dreaming about. It makes you accountable. It will help you do it if for no other reason than to avoid embarrassment!

* Develop a step-by-step plan. This is absolutely essential. You must sit down and write out a few things:

* A timeline. How long will it take to the end?

* Action steps. Point-by-point what you will do and when you will do them.

* Resources you will need to draw from. What will it take? Who will need to be involved for help or advice?

* An evaluation tool. You need to evaluate from time to time whether you are progressing or not.

* A celebration. Yep, when you are done you should already have planned what you will do to celebrate. Make it big!

I have found that there is no better time than now. So, set aside some time today to get started on your dream. Follow the action plan and set your sights for the top of the mountain! You will be glad you did!

Here's to putting your dreams into action -- let the excitement propel you forward!

Let me start today's entry - with something that speaks to my heart.

If a dog was my teacher I would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.!

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout;
run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

If only - I am programmed like a dog... unfortunately  unlike many who expects me to be perfect... I am not. I come complete with the good and bad -- conditioned in my DNA and experiences - the dark side. Sometimes, it gets the better of me - and sometimes I am able to tame it well. But most of all - I am always thankful and grateful for those around me who appreciates that I am but human. With good and bad days - with challenges and aspirations - but most of all with my outcomes, intentions and values.

And to those who cower and fear - I am truly sorry to and for you. But to those who stand steadfast amidst my 'storm' - I thank you - For I will stand by you - in your storm. And that is who I believe I am. So, today - I am humbled again by the fact - that I need to learn from man's best friend - the dog. My lovely dogs: Lily, Shadow, Scooby-D and my 'god-dog' Dora - may you teach us even more -  to be loving, fun and loyal.