iWrite

A plunge of Faith

What if... there's not a need of secrets,
but an absolute openness of what is.

What if... there's not a need of pride,
but an absolute vulnerability of what is.

What if.. there's not a need of criticism,
but an absolute approval of what is.

What if... there's not a need of asking,
but an absolute acceptance of what is.

What if... there's not a need of compromise,
but an absolute understanding of what is.

What if... there's not a need of expectations,
but an absolute surrender of what is.

What if... there's not a need of facades,
but an absolute appreciation of what is.

What if... there's not a need of needs
but an absolute gratitude of what is.

Can our souls transcend...
Can we take the leap of faith...
Can we look beyond ourselves...
To come together as one... complete... fulfilled.

Sometimes

sometimes, you find yourself torn between
what you need and what you want
sometimes, the strings of commitment
pulls and tugs you away

sometimes, you go back into your shell,
hiding and escaping the truth
sometimes, you think and rationalize,
that it's only a physical need

sometimes, you feel pressured,
to be what you think we want you to be
sometimes, you want to give it all up,
to go back to how things were before

But you wished things were different
sometimes, you wonder
how life would be to be free again

sometimes, you dream
of how you can soar and roar

sometimes, you imagine
tender moments, a walk on the beach

sometimes, you fantasize
waking up with the one you love by your side

We play it all in our mind... sometimes...

My Happiness

Myself...
The pride of doing what I do
The pleasure of long warm baths
The joy of a leisurely stroll on the beach
The awe of staring at the stars every night

My soul mate...
The bliss of holding hands
The endearing gaze of true love
The playful bantering to spice things up
The contentment of building a life together

My children...
The gentle kisses and hugs
The boisterous and carefree laughter
The unconditional love I have for them
The dreams and hope I see in their eyes

My Gratefulness...
The support and love of my family
The wisdom and trust of my mentors
The integrity and mutual respect of my team
The friendship and bond of a selected few

Whisper my name 

When I’m gone

Whisper my name 

in your prayers

When I’m gone

Smile in your heart 

for our memories together

When I’m gone

See me in your dreams 

watching over you

When I’m gone

Know that it’s meant to be

for my life is well lived. 

LadySant 5.3.2024

When I'm Gone

When I’m gone

Fill up that emptiness in your heart

With the sounds of songs

When I’m gone

Fill the ache in your heart

By frolicking in nature 

When I’m gone

Fill the grief in your heart

With joyful memories of us

When I get where I’m going

Know that I’m free and happy

Go live a life of grace you’ll be proud of

When I’m gone. 

LadySant 5.3.2024

Under My Scars

Come live inside me

Burn in my pain

Feel it in my bones

Battered by life circumstances 

Come live inside me

Of what could have been

Of the endless possibilities

And yet here I am

Come live inside me

Know that I made my choice

Yet It feels right in all that’s wrong

The scars I proudly wear in my heart. 

LadySant 5.3.2024

Making Sense of Life

For as long as I can remember 

I’ve been trying to decipher life 

For what I have to achieve

For who I need to be

For why I am here

This or That 

Right or Wrong

Here or There 

Does it truly matter 

Alas I’ve come to appreciate

That life is simply for living

For the myriad of experiences 

For the moments of joy

For the bonding and love

l am simply a fleeting traveler 

On this beautiful earth

One day soon I will move on 

and leave everything behind 

LadySant 14.02.24

Passing Through

Don’t allow my presence to shake you 

Can’t allow my  words to hurt you

Mustn’t allow my actions to destroy you

For I’m simply just passing through

If you do, then feel my compassion

If you can, then weave my words with love

If you must, then experience my soul

For I’m simply just passing through 

I’m not more wiser than you

I’m not more brighter than you

I’m not more than you

For I’m simply just passing through 

It is what it is

I am who I am

No regrets, no excuses

For I’m simply just passing through

LadySant 29.2.2024

One day soon

One day soon

You’ll laugh at all my quirks

My crackling laughter at your jokes

My attempts at putting a smile on your face

One day soon

You’ll remember all my ramblings

My never ending questions

My mantras, my quotes

One day soon

You’ll feel all of my presence

My tightly held hugs

My butterfly kisses on your shoulders

One day soon

You’ll hear the wind chimes

You’ll watch over my fishes

You’ll tend my garden

And know I live inside you forever. 

~LadySant 23/06/2023

Strength 

I’m bone weary, exhausted 

I don’t want to be 

called strong again

I don’t want to 

survive another storm

all on my own

gritting through my teeth

and feeling the pain within

I wish …

To never be at the liberty of people’s judgement 

To never again be living another’s standards 

To be truly liberated from life’s expectations

To be free from the chains of responsibilities

I prefer easy

I need flow 

I require support

I desire love

I crave joy

I want peace

I choose me

I never want to be called Strong again. 

LadySant

12.03.2024

Don’t despair 

The seasons will change 

Your heart will sing again

Your imagination will soar again 

Don’t despair 

Life is simply like that

No one is on the up and up 

Neither are they on the down and down 

Don’t despair 

What’s everlasting is a mother’s love What’s eternal is my light for you

What’s forever is my belief in you

Just like infinity, there’s no end 

You radiate from my soul

You swirl within my essence

It can’t be destroyed 

It cannot ever diminish 

My devotion for you

Is beyond time and space

Always hold on to my faith in you 

when the seasons are tough. 

LadySant 

15.03.2024

Wishing You Are Here

Have you ever had a moment

when in the midst of your busyness

there’s an emptiness, a void

that echoes in your core.

Have you ever felt the cold wind

howling in your heart

Have you ever curled up in bed

and weep yourself to sleep.

Have you ever wondered

where is that missing piece in  your life

The piece that would make you complete

You look into the horizon… and sigh.

Be blessed for you are experiencing

the spectrum of human emotions

take a deep breath and smile

a sparkle of hope lives within you.

Have faith.

The Lady of the Night

Frolics with the shadows

As she takes the light

And projects her essence into the world 

The light that shines from reflection 

The light that penetrates the darkest dark

The light that shifts the earth’s rhythm

The light that manifests in sentient beings

#santwrites 

Little did I know

Life was meant to be savoured, 

not simply rushed

Little did I know 

Love was meant to be intimate, 

not simply passionate

…. Little did I know

We were never meant to be forever

Letting You Go

You pierced my heart with your words

You shattered my dreams

with your actions

You question my sanity with your doubts 

You darkened my light with your shadow

My heart broken 

My future shredded

My identity fractured

My world bleak

I take a deep breath

Digging in deep into my soul

I find a flicker of light

I tend it with compassion

I take a another deep breath

Allowing the energy to sweep through my body

I feel it vibrates my every cell 

It resonates with kindness

I close my eyes and breath out

My mind purged of toxins 

My heart mends a little more

Gently I come back to myself

The chains broken

I forgive myself for you

I forgive you for me

I let you go for us 

I am at peace 

#santwrites

Keri

Gone too young

Yet, the good ones almost always do 

I trust you are in a better place

I believe you are safe in our Lord’s embrace 

You have graced this world

With your gentle feisty spirit

Touching our lives 

In your caring loving ways

You have been the sunshine to dreary days 

You have been the GPS to those who are lost

You have been the hand that is always eager to help

You have been the voice of reason to the confusion

You have been the humour to the chaos

You have been the force of actions in times of need 

You are the anchor to family and friends

And will continue to be

For in our hearts, you will always be 

Till we meet again, rest in peace and love.

"Lost my niece, Dec 2023 to cancer."

Trapped

When the storm are raging

I stand in stillness within the thundering silence

When the world bellows her sufferings

I cower in the shuddering silence

My throat clamped up

My heart drums hard

My body convulsing

My mind blank 

My frozen silence immobilizing 

My mouth can’t find the words

To speak my truth

Caged like a wild injured creature

I bleed inside out

Ferociously snarling inside my mind

In my silence -

I’m screaming in my head

Weeping in my heart

But I smile still 

If Only...

If only I knew 

the passion of love

I would frolic more and worry less

If only I knew

the pain of loss

I would invest my time and do less

If only I knew 

the sufferings of desire

I would live more and want less

If only I knew

I was meant to learn

I would explore more and hurt less

If only I knew

life is like the seasons

I would experience more and cry less

If only I knew ….

#santwrites

Torn

My soul pulled into two

Each wanting what it wants

One fills me with joy and safety

The other with passion and adventure

My heart is splintered

Shred into pieces

My tears drowns me inside

For the choices I cannot make

Pulling and tugging me apart

All the lies, all the deception

But when I’m with either one 

I am whole, complete. 

My life in the hands of fate

My fear of facing reality cripples me

My truth will destroy lives

And yet here I am -

Unrepentant.

#santwrites

Everyday Battle

Fear in the gut

Hope in the heart

Spiralling thoughts in the mind

They battle each day

The winner becomes 

the filter of my eyes

the sounds of my ears

the words of my mouth

I watch each day

the wrestling matches

knowing it’s never ending

till my last breath

Never a true winner

to set my mind free

Hope vs Fear

None is real

And yet the battles persist

Our Bond 

Life throws us into storms

Life spirals us into tornados

Life sinks us into the darkest pits

Together We survived 

Together We thrived

Together We flourished

Our love resonates within our souls

Our love illuminates our shadows

Our love strengthen our bonds

Now and forever more

Beyond time and space 

My heart, my soul is one with you.

#santwrites 

10.2.2020

Silence oh silence

Am drowning in this silence 

The sound of silence

Vibrates in my body 

The thundering silence

Echoes in my heart

The chaotic silence

Dishevelled my mind

The charged silence

Permeated my soul

Waiting… Hoping... Wishing...

our souls would resonate as one again

#santwrites

11.02.2022 

I Believe

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe.....
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe.....
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be
done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I can do anything, or nothing, and have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you, when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you've learned from them...and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, if a friend cries out to you...you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I Believe....
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; They just make the most of everything.

So what do you believe?