HOW TO MAKE KIDS PRACTICE

How to Make Kids Practice Piano (The Honest Version)

What most parents want when they ask this question is a trick: something that makes the whining stop and the practicing happen.

There isn’t one.

What the research supports is less magical and more demanding: children are more likely to persist in music when parents are involved, when practice is structured, when students have some autonomy inside that structure, and when adults gradually hand over responsibility as children get older. (Davidson et al., 1996; Evans et al., 2013; Wieser et al., 2024) (CoLab)

What is actually supported: parental involvement

This is the clearest finding in the literature. In a study of 257 young instrumentalists, the most successful children had parents who were most involved in lessons and practice in the earliest stages of learning. Children who discontinued lessons had parents who were, on average, less interested in music and less involved over time. (Davidson et al., 1996) (CoLab)

You do not have to be a pianist yourself to matter. Earlier work on highly accomplished young musicians found that many did not come from homes with unusual musical expertise. What mattered was that parents became engaged: paying attention, staying in contact with the teacher, and helping practice happen. In that study, 24% of parents sat in on lessons for a significant period, 26% gave specific encouragement during practice, and 33% actively supervised practice moment by moment. (Sloboda & Howe, 1991) (ResearchGate)

That does not mean becoming a second teacher. The research supports parental interest and support, not constant correction. In practice, that usually looks like listening, noticing improvement, protecting practice time, and helping the child stay engaged with the process. (Sloboda & Howe, 1991; Davidson et al., 1996) (ResearchGate)

Make it regular, not endlessly negotiable

Music practice depends heavily on self-regulation: time management, method, concentration, and consistent behavior. For beginning and intermediate students, those habits are often not yet fully internal. In other words, younger children usually need adults to supply some of the structure before they can manage it themselves. (Miksza, 2012; Sloboda & Howe, 1991)

So the practical translation is simple: pick a regular time and protect it. Do not wait for motivation to appear first. For a young child, practice works better as an expected part of the day than as a fresh debate every afternoon. That sentence is a practical inference from the self-regulation research, but it is a fair one.

Give them some say in how, not whether

Research grounded in self-determination theory is especially useful here. Students are more likely to continue when their needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness are supported, and more likely to disengage when those needs are thwarted. In a recent study of music-school dropout, autonomous motivation was associated with lower dropout tendency, while controlled motivation was associated with higher dropout tendency. (Evans et al., 2013; Wieser et al., 2024)

That does not mean children decide whether practice happens. It means they should have some ownership within a stable structure. Let them choose which piece to start with. Let them decide whether to isolate a hard passage first or play through once before fixing it. Let them help set a short goal for the session. Even a small case study on student-selected repertoire found that when a student practiced self-chosen repertoire, she spent more time practicing and persevered more when she hit difficulty. (Renwick & McPherson, 2002) (Cambridge University Press & Assessment)

Watch the line between supportive and controlling

The research does not support a simple choice between “hands off” and “hover constantly.” What matters is the quality of parental involvement. Recent evidence suggests parental involvement helps when it supports basic psychological needs and autonomous motivation; it becomes less helpful when it feeds controlled motivation. (Wieser et al., 2024) (Frontiers)

So: be present, but do not run the lesson at home. Encourage, listen, remind, and notice. Leave detailed technical correction to the teacher. Parents matter enormously, but they are not supposed to become the child’s second instructor. That conclusion follows from the broader pattern of findings in the parental-involvement and motivation literature. (CoLab)

Hand over control as they get older

Parental involvement should change with age. A recent review article on parental involvement in private music lessons notes that when children are young, parents often spend more time supervising practice; when children are older, including over about age 10, the goal shifts toward fostering independent musical abilities. (Frontiers)

That means good parenting in music is not just about showing up. It is also about knowing when to step back. If a parent is still managing every minute of practice for an older child, the next developmental task is probably not “more pressure,” but a better transfer of responsibility. (Frontiers)

A word on quitting

Quitting is common. A large longitudinal study found that about 50% of young people who engage in musical activities drop out by age 17, with dropout rising sharply between ages 15 and 17. So if your child wants to quit, they are not unusual. (Ruth & Müllensiefen, 2021) (PLOS)

But “wants to quit” is not a diagnosis. Before deciding what to do, it is worth asking three questions: Does the child feel capable? Do they feel any ownership over the activity? Do they still experience music as socially and personally meaningful? Those questions line up closely with the research on competence, autonomy, relatedness, and continuation in music. (Evans et al., 2013; Wieser et al., 2024)

There is also evidence that identity matters. In a Journal of Research in Music Education study, musical self-concept, peer influence, and family music participation predicted future participation in elective music with substantial accuracy. Students who think of themselves as musicians are more likely to keep going. (Demorest et al., 2017) (University at Buffalo)

The honest version

So the honest answer is not “make them practice.”

It is this: for younger children, parents usually have to carry a meaningful part of the load. You set the expectation, protect the routine, and stay interested. As children get older, your job changes: less managing, more support; less control, more ownership; less nagging, more helping them connect effort to progress. That is what the best evidence actually points to. (Sloboda & Howe, 1991; Davidson et al., 1996; Evans et al., 2013; Wieser et al., 2024) (ResearchGate)

If a child feels controlled, incompetent, and emotionally detached from the music, pressure may still produce short-term compliance. It is much less likely to produce long-term commitment. If a child feels supported, capable, and increasingly responsible for their own learning, the odds are better. That is not a trick. It is just the work. (Evans et al., 2013; Wieser et al., 2024)

References: 

• Sloboda, J. A., & Howe, M. J. A. (1991). Biographical Precursors of Musical Excellence: An Interview Study. Psychology of Music, 19(1), 3–21.

• Davidson, J. W., Howe, M. J. A., Moore, D. G., & Sloboda, J. A. (1996). The role of parental influences in the development of musical performance. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 14(4), 399–412. DOI: 10.1111/j.2044-835X.1996.tb00714.x.

• Macmillan, J. (2004). Learning the Piano: A Study of Attitudes to Parental Involvement. British Journal of Music Education, 21(3), 295–311. DOI: 10.1017/S0265051704005807.

• Evans, P., McPherson, G. E., & Davidson, J. W. (2013). The role of psychological needs in ceasing music and music learning activities. Psychology of Music, 41(5), 600–619. DOI: 10.1177/0305735612441736.

• Wieser, M. W. M., Novak-Geiger, V. N., & Müller, F. H. (2024). Who stays? Who goes? Motivation and tendency to drop out in music schools. Frontiers in Psychology. DOI: 10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1378843.

• Ruth, N., & Müllensiefen, D. (2021). Survival of musical activities. When do young people stop making music? PLOS ONE, 16(11), e0259105. DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0259105.

• Demorest, S. M., Kelley, J., & Pfordresher, P. Q. (2017). Singing Ability, Musical Self-Concept, and Future Music Participation. Journal of Research in Music Education. DOI: 10.1177/0022429416680096.

• Miksza, P. (2012). The Development of a Measure of Self-Regulated Practice Behavior for Beginning and Intermediate Instrumental Music Students. Journal of Research in Music Education, 59(4), 321–338. DOI: 10.1177/0022429411414717.