translation by mourningmoor
What's up with that guy?
He wasn’t acting like his usual self, not like the youngest at all.
Following behind Jaewon, I somehow ended up near the dorm.
It looked like he was crying, so I tried to get closer, but I couldn’t. His mom called his name.
"Jaewon-ah."
The youngest one. I always thought his features were sharp and that he was really handsome, but it seems he takes after his mom.
"Jaewon-ah. Why didn’t you answer my calls?"
His mom, carrying her hands full of luggage, approached Jaewon with a worried expression.
"Are you okay? Are you feeling alright?"
But this guy—far from welcoming his mom—took a step back, retreating further away.
"Who said I wanted to see you?"
At that, his mom flinched and stopped in her tracks. Her large, chestnut-colored eyes filled with tears. And in the eyes that mirrored hers, tears were welling up too.
"I don’t want to see you at all, Mom."
Words he didn’t mean.
"I hate Dad, and I hate you too, so don’t come here anymore. I don’t need your allowance, so don’t send it either."
Jaewon, with his eyes red and wet, sniffled and kept spewing words he didn’t mean.
"Don’t even think about taking the subway from here to the station—take a taxi. Don’t get lost. I won’t come looking for you if you do."
Then, coldly, he turned on his heel and walked away.
Ha, this kid. If you’re worried, just say you’re worried, honestly.
Flinch, flinch. He hesitated, unable to take another step, then finally ran off.
"…Jaewon-ah."
Her hands full of luggage, and wearing those sharp-heeled shoes,
his mom couldn’t bring herself to follow him. She just stood there on the street, motionless, shedding tears.
《I’m sorry, Jaewon-ah. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner.》
Of all things, I had to witness this scene. How typical of me.
Still, it’s not my place to intervene. If I grow too attached, it’ll just make parting harder.
Anyway, once the final settlement is done, I’ll buy a house for Kang Ichan’s mom, and that’ll be my goodbye to these kids. The company estimates that’ll take about two years, but I’m aiming for one year—or even less.
I’ll align that with my short-term goal of bringing down Kim Chanyoung and HS.
So, I shouldn’t get involved in the kids’ lives.
Yeah, I didn’t want to get involved.
《My son’s birthday is tomorrow.》
《I brought cake and seaweed soup.》
《And galbijjim (braised beef short ribs) too.》
《Because of me, his birthday’s ruined again. My poor son.》
Just as I was about to turn away, hearing the youngest kid’s mom’s unspoken thoughts made me stop in my tracks.
* * *
June 9th.
It’s the youngest one’s birthday.
I got up early in the morning, took a walk around the neighborhood, and after showering, set the table right away.
For the kids heading to school, I carefully made rolled omelets and served them with ketchup on the table.
"Siu, bring me the rice."
"Yeah, got it."
While Siu, fresh out of the shower, scooped the rice, I ladled out the seaweed soup.
Seaweed soup, huh.
The look of it wasn’t all that impressive, but the aroma was fantastic.
The youngest, who was the last to finish showering, sat down at the table.
"Wow, rolled omelets! How did you know I like rolled omelets?"
Immediately, his fingers reached out toward the omelets.
Then, for a change, Hanjoon, who was sitting at the breakfast table with us, scolded the youngest.
"Hey, we’re supposed to eat together."
But, of course, the youngest wasn’t the type to listen to that.
He stuck out his tongue, then quickly grabbed a piece of the rolled omelet and stuffed it in his mouth.
In that instant, Jaewon’s eyes went wide.
Then he gave a thumbs-up and started waving his arms around.
Guess that means it’s good.
I placed the bowl of soup in front of the youngest.
"Huh, what’s this?"
For a moment, the youngest’s expression twisted oddly.
"What do you mean, what? It’s seaweed soup."
At my answer, Jaewon tilted his head and asked,
"Do you, by any chance... know what day it is today?"
I know. But I didn’t feel like answering.
"What day is it?"
I pretended not to know, acting all innocent. That made the youngest’s eyes narrow with suspicion.
"You don’t know, so why did you make seaweed soup?"
"Uh, right. Whose birthday is it?"
Hanjoon, who was taking his first bite, asked from the side.
Then Siu tilted his head in confusion.
"Really. Whose birthday is it? It’s not Ichan’s birthday, right?"
These kids, really...
They’re terrible at pretending.
"Is there a rule that you can only eat seaweed soup on your birthday? If you want it, you just make it and eat it."
If this kid was his usual self, he would’ve caught on by now and said something, but he hadn’t been himself since last night.
He just stared blankly at the seaweed soup, smacked his lips, then nodded.
"Never mind. Let’s just eat."
Then, he picked up his spoon.
He took a spoonful of the soup, then made a face that seemed uncertain.
Yeah, it probably tastes off. It’s your mom’s soup, after all.
Looking a bit conflicted, he tilted his head this way and that, then ended up finishing the whole bowl.
"Thank you for the meal."
After finishing his rice, Jaewon stood up and said he was going to brush his teeth, heading toward the bathroom.
"Ugh, damn. What’s up with his vibe?"
Hanjoon sighed, running a hand over his chest in frustration.
Honestly, the mood Jaewon was giving off was pretty serious.
Since last night’s practice, he’d been making mistake after mistake, and it was getting so bad that it was hard to even start a conversation with him—he looked like he was in the depths of despair.
Roa, who roughly knew what was going on, anxiously paced back and forth, while Siu and Hanjoon, who had no idea what was happening, could only watch and try to read the situation.
"Let him be. He’s probably just hitting puberty late."
But I just acted like it wasn’t a big deal.
In life, you really go through all kinds of things.
Right now, Jaewon’s just going through a mild illness, like a cold.
So, I’ll just watch from the sidelines and let him face it with his own resilience, trusting he’ll get through it.
"Anyway, don’t let on anything until dinner. Let’s surprise him then."
The kids nodded in agreement.
They’re all good kids.
Even though they probably sense something’s off, they don’t try to dig into it. They know well that bringing up someone’s wounds only makes things harder for them.
"Roa, you keep a close eye on Jaewon today."
"Yes."
Especially this kid. Such a thoughtful one.
* * *
While the kids were at school, Hanjoon and I focused on practice.
We spent most of the morning rehearsing, and after lunch, we had a PT session.
I took pictures of Hanjoon during his training and posted two on SNS.
One was of him doing a plank with perfect form, and the other was of him holding a flawless bird dog pose. Following what Manager Hyerim taught me, I added the hashtags.
#LIT #Hanjoon #Wow_This_Guy_Core_Strength_Insane #Perfect_Form #No_Matter_What_He_Always_Goes_All_In
He may be lazy at times, but once he gets started, his personality makes him tackle everything with diligence, so every movement is textbook perfect. Naturally, he had the trainer’s full admiration.
Despite always posting videos of him gaming on NewTube, he’d get nasty comments wondering if he’s addicted to games, but he’s determined to prove them wrong.
This kid just does everything with sincerity.
And by the afternoon, the kids returned from school.
* * *
The intense training continued in the afternoon.
We went through rigorous choreography and stage positioning practice for <Promise> music video shoot, while also working on the routines for upcoming music shows and events.
On top of that, individual dance lessons and vocal training were upgraded to the next level, making it nothing short of hellish training.
The kids, panting and gasping for breath, collapsed onto the floor.
"10-minute break."
Director Gong Seokho, who turned off the music, gave us a brief moment to catch our breath.
I waved my hand at Siu, who was heading to the fridge for water, and he brought me a bottle too.
"Thanks."
Phew, this schedule is tougher than I thought.
I’d worked so hard to build my stamina, but it still wasn’t enough.
How the hell does Kang Ichan manage his body?
In this practice room with limited energy, there’s no way to keep up.
"Kim Jaewon."
At that moment, Director Gong called Jaewon.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Although he’s the lead dancer, Jaewon’s skills are just as impressive as Roa’s, the main dancer, yet today he had already made several mistakes, over a dozen times.
Director Gong’s expression had been grim since earlier, and finally, Jaewon was called over.
Without answering, Jaewon jumped up and followed Director Gong out of the practice room.
His shoulders were slumped, and his back looked pitiful.
"Hyung-nim."
Roa called out to me with a voice full of concern.
"Do you think he’ll be okay?"
No, he won’t be okay.
That kid… he’s filled with guilt.
Right now, he believes his parents divorced because of him.
My mom, who had been consumed with taking care of me, couldn’t help but neglect my dad, and eventually, he became weary of her and started harboring other thoughts.
As soon as I was sent back to the dorm, they started living separately, and by last spring, they were divorced.
The money spent on my dance and vocal lessons to become an idol was staggering. On top of that, the time and money wasted traveling from Masan to Seoul for all those auditions were enormous.
To fulfill her son’s dream, my mom quit her job and became a road manager, while my dad worked alone to cover all those expenses.
Both sacrificed for one thing, only to eventually face disaster.
And now, Jaewon’s blaming himself for all of that.
On top of that, he’s feeling guilty for the way he treated his mom yesterday, and his heart is in turmoil.
Yeah, the youngest is not okay right now.
But, admirable as it is, he’s fiercely battling with himself.
“It’s not okay, but he’ll overcome it on his own.”
He’s a kid who can handle it.
“We just need to make sure we push him to the point where he can't think straight.”
Comfort from others is just that—comfort.
The only thing that gets you through a crisis is faith in yourself.
We’re just here to be companions on that journey.
"Hanjoon hyung. Call Gyuhyung hyung and tell him to keep holding onto Jaewon."
"Got it."
Hanjoon, who immediately stood up from his seat, took out the cell phone he had hidden at the back.
"Siu. Where did you hide the cake?"
"In the PR team's fridge."
"Bring it."
"Got it."
This time, Siu quickly ran out of the practice room.
Then, Roa's eyes sparkled as he looked at me.
It was a look that silently said, "Give me the command."
"Roa. Bring that over. Let's put it on."
"Yep."
At my command, the last little rabbit swiftly moved into action.