translation by mourningmoor
PD Pyo’s answer was this.
The investment the company put in until the debut. That is, the launch cost, album production cost, marketing cost, training cost, and various other management costs, if all of those are settled, then moving is possible.
“...That’s 1 billion?”
And if you want to escape from that crappy place, he said to run hard. But still, our company’s settlement ratio between the company and the artist is 5:5.
“Like, what kind of crappy...”
Do you want to treat these young teens like this?
“Don’t get mad, just drink that.”
After the meeting with PD Pyo ended, Gyuhyung bought me an iced coffee from the café on the first floor.
Feeling restless, I gulped down the coffee and even crunched on the ice.
“Don’t worry. It’ll be settled soon.”
"When soon?"
"Usually it takes more than two years, but you guys might get there a bit faster."
Ha, two years or more, sleeping on that creaky bunk bed, giving up my back to the maknae?
"You know, there's a feeling to this, right?"
Gyuhyung placed his coffee down on the table and subtly scanned the surroundings.
"But, based on my gut feeling... Well, it's not just my gut feeling. Even A&R team’s Yeonsu said so, you guys are much better than Dinaple."
Dinaple. A girl group senior I’ve casually exchanged greetings with a few times at the company.
They’re all so skinny and short, so I’d laugh and think, “What kind of idols are they trying to be with those bodies...?” but it seems like they’re doing pretty well for themselves.
I’ve seen them fall flat at the company.
But to think we’re better than Dinaple?
"The speed at which your fandom is growing right now is no joke."
Well, of course. I'm the leader.
Whether it’s the way to a music broadcast or on stage, once they see me up close, they can’t help but fall for it.
I was just born to be that way.
"Honestly, the revenue from music streaming and the fees from music broadcasts aren't much."
"Still, going on music broadcasts like that... is it for recognition?"
"Yeah, that's right. You need to get your face out there."
I couldn't help but nod.
Despite the low appearance fees and all the nonsense from the production staff, the reason we push to go on music broadcasts is to get our faces out there and expand our fandom.
Of course, it works in my favor too.
"Still, the money that’s starting to come in... is from album and merchandise sales."
That pricked my conscience a bit, as we're basically squeezing fans' pockets.
"And the real money comes from CFs and events."
CFs and events?
"You guys are singers, so you especially need to do a lot of concerts. If you can go on a world tour, that would be the best."
Concerts and world tours...
"Since CFs and concerts all depend on your fandom, the fact that you're better than Dinaple means your SNS following is growing at an insane rate."
Wow—so in the end, to succeed as an idol, you have to rely on your fandom.
It feels kind of strange.
I keep feeling this growing sense of debt because it feels like we're always receiving something from the fans for no reason.
"Making money off fans... it feels kind of weird, right?"
"That's why you have to do fan service like crazy."
Fan service.
Is he talking about those billboard selfies from before?
"Grateful, and sorry, huh?"
"Yeah."
It's true.
Really grateful, and also sorry.
"The more you do, the better. Well, I don’t have to say it, you seem to do well on your own, so I’m not too worried."
"Yeah?"
"You're doing well."
A kind smile appeared on his bear-like face.
This guy. He might not realize it because he hides his feelings, but it looks like he's dreaming of something bright and colorful.
"If you keep going like this, you'll get the settlement soon."
To get the settlement, the debt has to be cleared.
To clear the debt, you need to work hard with album sales, merchandise sales, concerts, events, CFs, overseas tours, and everything that makes those possible is, after all, the fandom.
They say this industry is a battle of fandoms, so I guess this is what they meant.
To grow the fandom, you have to constantly appear on music shows and variety programs, and to keep appearing on music shows and variety programs, you need to constantly show new sides of yourself. To do that, you have to release new songs and music videos, which means more debt...
It feels like an endless cycle, like an ouroboros, one thing leading to another.
"You'll pass the break-even point soon... and then, finally, the settlement will happen."
"Don't joke. If what you're saying is true, then the settlement won't be easy."
"So, let's just run hard for now. I'll put pressure on the company to get more events for us."
"Yeah. Try that. Let's settle it quickly..."
Suddenly, Kang Ichan's diary came to mind.
The grand wish listed on his wish list.
"I need to buy a house for my mom."
What kind of backstory could there possibly be that the word "mom" only appears once in that vast diary?
<Poor mom, buying a house for her.>
Every time I read those words, the heart of the original owner of this body, Kang Ichan, aches. It was quite uncomfortable.
Maybe it was because the word "mom" slipped from my mouth, but somehow, the big bear's eyes seemed a little moist.
"Hyung... do you know my mom?"
"I do."
Oh, the voice had a hint of moisture in it.
"How do you know?"
"Your brother was my friend."
"Do I have a brother?"
I have a brother, but why wasn’t he mentioned at all in the diary?
It was all about Blade Entertainment and L.I.T.
"Anyway."
Gyuhyung's words were in the "past tense."
"Why 'was a friend' and not 'is a friend'?"
Now that I think about it, Gyu-hyung, the black bear, wasn't just teary-eyed—he looked like he was on the verge of crying.
"Chan-ah. You really don't remember anything?"
"I don't."
* * *
It's shocking.
His father, a folk song guitarist and singer, committed suicide when Kang Ichan was only six years old.
Then, his older brother, nine years older than Ichan, also committed suicide at the age of twenty-one. Even more so, his brother was a singer too.
It was almost inevitable that Kang Ichan's mother opposed her only remaining son becoming a singer.
‘If you become a singer, you'll die.’
It was exactly the kind of situation that could easily plant a trauma like that.
The truth is, Kang Ichan died too. At the tender age of nineteen.
"But, you know, legally, as a minor, I needed parental consent to sign a contract with the company. Did Mom sign the consent form?"
"You ran away from home, took pills to try and die... You caused a real scene. There was no crazier show than that."
Tch, what a crazy bastard.
My dad and brother committed suicide, and I pull a stunt like taking pills in front of my mom?
What kind of ungrateful bastard does that?
"So, then?"
"Your mom signed the consent form on the condition that you cut ties. She said if you wanted to be a singer, fine, but never come back. Even if you die, don’t come looking for her."
A deep wave of anger surged through me.
Some people spend their entire lives longing for parents they can’t even remember, for over 300 years, no less. And you? You decided to drive a nail into your mom’s heart just to become a singer?
“Wow. Kang Ichan, you’re a complete piece of work. And then what? ‘Buy a house for my poor mom’? Are you insane?”
“Hey, you…”
Gyuhyung’s face, on the verge of tears just moments ago, now wore an expression of utter disbelief.
His small, button-like eyes blinked rapidly in confusion against his dark complexion.
"Your self-awareness is off the charts."
What the—self-awareness?
Yeah, right… I am Kang Ichan.
Trying to calm my heaving chest from all the agitation, I awkwardly turned my head, embarrassed.
And that’s when it happened.
"…Huh? Isn't that the maknae?"
Through the café window, Jaewon’s figure flickered into view.
"Practice starts soon. Where’s he going?"
Perfect timing to escape the awkwardness.
"Hyung, I’m off then."
Jumping up from my seat, I stuffed the remaining ice into my mouth and quickly stepped out of the café.
* * *
After afternoon practice, we were given about an hour of break time.
Ichan-hyung had a meeting with the CEO, while Siu-hyung was dragged off to the PR team.
Hanjoon-hyung, as expected, clung to his gaming console, and Roa-hyung… was still practicing his dance moves.
Relentless. Park Roa. When it comes to being hardcore, he's practically on par with Ichan-hyung.
"Hyungs, do you want some ice cream?"
Roa-hyung, deep in his dance trance, didn’t respond, while only Hanjoon-hyung raised his hand.
“I want a Nougat Bar.”
Like I didn’t already know.
With a small chuckle, Jaewon pulled his phone out of his locker.
“Huh?”
There were five missed calls.
<Mom> 3 calls, <Junhee> 2 calls.
At that moment, the vibration buzzed again.
<Mom>
“Is something wrong?”
Jaewon ignored his mom’s missed calls and answered Junhee’s call instead.
“Yeah, Junhee.”
―Didn’t you answer your Mom’s call?
“I was practicing. Why?”
―Your mom’s in Seoul right now.
It felt like his heart dropped with a loud thud.
―You weren’t answering your phone, and you’ve been so out of touch that she got worried… She’s heading to your company right now.
Why would she come here? Out of nowhere, saying she missed him?
―Jae, are you listening? Jaewon.
Junhee urgently called his name.
―Tomorrow’s your birthday, you know. So your Mom brought a cake and…
“Hang up!”
Jaewon abruptly ended the call and stormed out of the practice room.
It felt like he was on the verge of tears, ready to break down at the slightest nudge.
“Ah, damn it. Why am I crying like an idiot.”
Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Jaewon hurried down the emergency stairs.
He thought to himself, “I’ll just go to the convenience store, buy some ice cream, and forget about everything. It’s not like I care about Mom anymore. She got divorced without asking me, so I couldn’t care less if she’s wandering the streets.”
That’s the mindset he had.
Exiting the company, Jaewon walked 200 meters towards the dorm.
Entering the convenience store where he bought ten ice creams.
It had already been over a year since the divorce, yet his allowance still came regularly.
Who was sending him this money? His mom? His dad?
Jaewon stuffed the ice creams into a black plastic bag and headed back out onto the street.
Eyes scanning the surroundings closely.
He was worried his mom, who was terrible with directions, might be wandering around lost.
“Ugh, I don’t know. I don’t care.”
Yet, his steps continued toward the dorm.
Although he had been to the dorm a few times, he didn’t know much about the company. It was his dad who came with him when they signed the contract.