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Even if you don't have anxiety, it is your job to understand people who do
Even if you don't have anxiety, it is your job to understand people who do
If you have someone in your life who has anxiety, it might be hard for them to open up to you or do activities people without anxiety do like facetime, send voice notes, go out together, etc.... And it's especially hard for them to explain to you why they do this. So on behalf of all people who have anxiety, this is a message from them to everyone they care about that explains everything you need to know as someone supporting them.
Figure 21: a representation of living with severe anxiety
Mental illnesses don't take a break on holidays!
Mental illnesses don't take a break on holidays!
Figure 22: anxiety doesn't disappear during the holidays
Take some time out of your day to check in on your loved ones. You never know who might need this small phone call or text from you to make his/her day. But remember, not all people with anxiety like phone calls. A simple text might do. Sometimes, a basic question such as "how are you doing today?" might make someone happy and show them that you do care about them. The holidays can be quite hard for people with mental illnesses such as anxiety, regarding that it is supposed to be a happy time and anxious people are not always in the mood to be happy. So try your best to be by their side and assure them that you care about them and love them.
Don't invalidate their fears!
Don't invalidate their fears!
Not everyone is afraid of spiders. Yet we all respect that some people are afraid of these tiny creatures. And we try to help them, too. So why don't we validate the fears that come with anxiety? Why don't we treat these fears the same way we treat other fears? Just because to you, the fear might not be an excuse to be scared, it doesn't mean that others don't have the right to be scared. Large crowds can cause fear to people with anxiety. They're constantly worrying if something wrong might happen or if they might be humiliated at any point. Understand their fears. Help them overcome it, step by step. And don't ridicule them.
They don't do it on purpose!
They don't do it on purpose!
People with anxiety don't cancel plans or ignore your messages and calls on purpose. It's their fight or flight mode. It's always on, and it's always searching for a way to protect the individual from harm, which, in this case, is interacting with people without any prior preparations. Don't pressure them to answer you back or go out with you. Sometimes they just don't feel like it, and if you pressure them, they would feel even more irritated. Anxiety takes over people's lives. They can't control when it settles in. So be supportive and show them that you do care and try not to show them that you may be upset by what they did.
Show them you care!
Show them you care!
People with anxiety always need reassurance that people still love them. They overthink a lot, and sometimes any small mistake from them might lead to thoughts and untrue beliefs that you hate them because of that small mistake they did. Or maybe if you got distant for a while or didn't reply to their messages, they might think that you started to hate them. It's not always the case. Sometimes, you're just too busy to reply. But that's not what they think. So tell them. Tell them you're busy and will respond to them when you can. Tell them you still love them. Keep saying and affirming your love and support for them so that they would never forget or doubt it.
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