Oliver's father, Val, tells him that had he known that Tess would eventually die of cancer after having already fallen in love with her, he wouldn't have done a single thing differently. This prompts Oliver to take the risk to go and see Hadley. He finds her at the reception venue and admits his three greatest fears: germs, the dark, and surprises, due to his mother's cancer diagnosis. Hadley then gives him a happy surprise by kissing him. When she asks him what it is he's researching, he reveals it's the statistical probability of love at first sight. By the end of the film it's revealed that Hadley and Oliver will be married for 58 years and will one day have a daughter.

Narrator: Hadley Sullivan and Oliver Jones will kiss 12,872 times in their life together. They'll be married 58 years, have 1,462 arguments, and make love 5,787 times. Hadley will hold Oliver's hand when Tessa takes her last breath. Oliver will hold Hadley's when she takes hers. And they will both hold their daughter's hand the day she's born and marvel at her tiny fingers and how none of it would have been possible were it not for a missed flight, a broken seat belt, and a choice to love each other every day.


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The reason that I find love at first sight bewitching is that it is a complete mystery, and yet people behave as if it were not. The industry of dating apps is built on the notion that romance must come to you in the form of pictures. And these apps contribute to why more than 50 percent of Americans claim to believe in it. (Another reason, of course, is that the notion has been drilled into them by countless novels, plays, Hollywood movies, and TV shows.)

Psychologists and sociologists look for conditioning elements but, like most academics involved in the quest, produce clinical discussions that ignore that jolt of joy that makes love at first sight so irresistible. For me, forgetting about this pleasure is like expatiating on the notes of champagne and forgetting about the fizz.

These are the questions that I ask myself and my students. At Stanford, I teach a whole course on it, one that exposes students to many artworks that maintain the belief that love at first sight exists and that makes them question the role of vision in the nature of knowing.

In a way, love at first sight is for me less a theme in my scholarship than something I return to test the structure of thinking. Where does nature end and culture start? When does the individual merge into the collective? What is virtual and what is actual? Reading and thinking about love at first sight help me refine my research framework while reminding me of a need for academia to deal with the erotic. Many intellectuals, such as Audre Lorde and Fred Moten, emphasize how academic work ditches love in order to favor and even naturalize misery and alienation.

Pleasure is regrettably absent from most scholarly endeavors. So, to return to love at first sight is a way to make sure that research can be as electrifying as a leap into the imaginary embrace of someone we have never seen before.

I looked over to see this tall, dark, and handsome guy with piercing blue eyes walking down the hallway. My friend, who felt that she just found her soulmate, ran after him to ask him to dance. I tried to play it a little bit cool even though my heart was beating out of my chest at first glance.

Researchers have shown that interpersonal attraction is positively correlated to personality similarity, with positive people preferring to be with other positive people (Byrne and Griffitt, 1973), and individuals are also attracted to others who are similar in culture, economic status and socialness (Byrne et al., 1966; Berscheid et al., 1971; Buss and Barnes, 1986). As such, in my opinion, since an individual is generally attracted to someone who they believe they can trust and perhaps be in a happy relationship with, and usually, since that person is someone who has a personality similar to their own, those people who look similar to the individual are perceived as having a similar personality to that individual, and are therefore perceived to be more attractive. In addition, because individuals may inherit similar facial features to their parents, those who look like the individual may also be seen as trustworthy, since they may be a reminder of trusting faces from childhood (Perrett, 2010). Such belief in a lookalike being trustworthy and suitable relationship material is not unfounded in the literature, as couples who have similar physical attributes have shown to demonstrate strong relationship commitment (Murstein, 1972) and relationship stability (Kurdek and Schnopp-Wyatt, 1997). Although, the apparent superficial manner of falling in love at first sight could mean an individual may become attached to someone they have nothing in common with, and thus potentially be involved in a relationship that may not last long, the positive impact of the first impression can compensate the superficial manner of attraction at first sight (Sunnafrank and Ramirez, 2004; Barelds and Barelds-Dijkstra, 2007), and as discussed by Tops et al. (2014), the positive initial impact can become replaced with familiarity and predictability of the partner, which can lead to a potentially long-term attraction.

The attraction of the individual to another person can be conveyed by their eyes, i.e., via copulatory gaze, such that the more an individual likes that person, the longer they want to gaze into their eyes in order to express the strength of our feelings (Rubin, 1970). Therefore, after having looked into the other person's eyes to determine if they are attractive, the individual may continue to gaze into the other person's eyes for many seconds. By an individual conveying their feelings of attraction to the person they are attracted to, the receiver of such attraction may be attracted back to the individual, not only because they are being appraised as being a suitable partner, and as suggested by Myers (2012), there is essentially less energy needed for them to claim a mate, but in my view, because the individual may attracted to the receiver because the receiver is a look-a-like, the receiver may in turn perceive the individual as having similar attributes and thus perceived as having a suitable personality too. As such, the receiver may gaze back into the individuals' eyes to convey that they like them. The gazing back may reinforce the individual's belief that the receiver of their attraction is suitable, and as both individuals gaze into each other's eyes, they perhaps realize that they are both attracted to each other, and so an immediate unspoken emotional union is potentially formed in which both individuals become emotionally attached to each other, and love at first sight occurs between two people at the same time.

I actually thought this one woman was love at first sight. Then found it was lust and did not work out. 


I think love is work made visual. When two people or thing are stronger together than apart in time.

'Love at first sight' is a phrase that is more often used by a person who is a part of the relationship, I think, while 'love is blind' is more often used by people outside the relationship. The contradiction you see can be explained this way, I believe. Indeed, most people have different views on what is beautiful. To you it might be love at first sight because another person conforms exceptionally well to your ideal, but to an outsider with a different set of beauty standards, it might seem like love is blind because they cannot see the beauty you see in that other person.

I think this pertains to how we use the word "sight." Philosophers have argued that we attribute so much primacy and power to this sense (sight) to the extent that "seeing" has become such a broad word.


For instance, we may say "I see what you mean" in response to "Do you think X smells like Y, although that's quite weird to think?"


That is, even if we perceive something without the help of sight, we end up attributing it to sight nonetheless.


As for love, I think "sight" includes so much: cues about smell, audiovisual triggers, audio triggers, etc.

Charlotte Collingwood is a neuroscience PhD student who uses computers, maths and a biology background to learn more about how the brain works. She is currently doing a three-month internship with us, sharing her love for all things science. She can be found on Twitter at @NeuroCharlotte

PRINCETON, NJ -- February 14, St. Valentine's Day, is asignificant day in American society -- a day when people use cards,flowers and chocolates to express their love for that specialsomeone. While no one has quite figured out why we fall in love,people are happy to share their thoughts and opinions on the topic.What does America think about love?

In Gallup polls conducted in February of 2000, just over half ofAmerican adults (52%) said they believed in "love at first sight,"while 47% of the public said they did not. Younger Americans aremore prone to such a belief -- 60% of people between ages 18 and 29said they believed in love at first sight, compared to 56% of 30-49year olds and just 43% of those over age 50.

When Gallup asked about people's past romantic behavior, itfound that four in 10 Americans say they have actually fallen inlove at first sight, while another 59% say they have not. Men areslightly more likely than women to say they have fallen in love atfirst sight (44% to 36%). Perhaps not surprisingly, belief in thisconcept is strongly related to people's memories of past behavior.Among those who said they believe, almost 70% also said they hadactually fallen in love at first sight, while just 29% said theyhad not.

Seeking Soul Mates

Almost three-quarters of Americans said they believed in "one truelove," while 24% said they did not. Perhaps education creates someskepticism, as 56% of those with post-graduate education said theybelieved in one true love, compared to 67% of college graduates,and 80% of those with a high school education or less. 2351a5e196

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