The Beginning

Before I get into this story I want you girls to understand that I'm not perfect. I've made some mistakes and I had to deal with the consequences. I hope by hearing about my past you two can avoid the heartbreak that I experienced.

My birth was what most would call unusual. I don't remember when or how I came to be but I've heard stories. All I know is when I was a baby my parents found me crying in a well. Over the years through visions and dreams sent from Shiva I've discovered the true reason behind how I ended up there. This is probably going to sound crazy but a long time ago I was a celestial nymph named Madhura. People say I was one of the most beautiful celestial nymphs to have existed. I could have had any of the gods that I wanted but I only had eyes for one. I fell in love with Shiva and devoted all my time and prayer to please him. I tried everything but he had been in a deep meditation for years. He was completely unaware of my feelings, let alone my existence. Unfortunately he had a wife but love made me blind. Nothing could stop me from pursuing him.

One day I decided I was done waiting for him to notice me. I traveled to Kailash to find him hoping maybe I could finally see him face to face. After much searching I reached his home. I knocked on the door and a young servant answered it.

"Can I help you?" the girl on the other side of the door asked.

"Yes, I was just wondering if Lord Shiva is home? I would like to pay my respects to him."

The girl looked around cautiously and turned back to me.

"Someone as beautiful as you must surely be a great woman. Therefore, I can let you in but I have to warn you that my master's wife is not home. If, she returns from the village and finds you here she may get suspicious or jealous. I warn you to please take care."

I felt a little uneasy hearing what the young girl had to say but that did not deter me from taking a step inside. She let me through his grand living room and down through a candlelit hallway. At the end we reached a door and she hesitated once before turning to me. "My lord is in the garden meditating. I would be careful not to disturb him as he requires the deepest focus and silence." I nodded and she proceeded to open the door for me.

I entered the garden and was overcome with awe as I took in the sight before me. Flowers swirled all around the patio in intricate colors and details. There was a small pond where I could see fish of all varieties swimming around peacefully. Birds sang melodically as they soaked up the beauty around them. I had never seen a more lovely garden but the thing that struck me the most was the being that was meditating inside it. At that moment I knew there was no going back. I approached Shiva slowly so as not to wake him and sat across from him without making a sound. I took in his beauty, admiring how he could be so focused and so pious. I felt a peacefulness all around him. All of a sudden, his eyelids fluttered as he slowly opened his eyes. Immediately they locked onto mine. I was taken aback by how he didn't seem at all surprised that I was there.

"Madhura, I've heard of your beauty but I never imagined how great it could be. Did you come all this way to see me?" My mouth fell open in shock upon hearing him say my name. How could he know who I am? I was just a celestial being but he was a god. In my opinion, the greatest god among all of them. I blushed as I realized I hadn't answered his question and I was just sitting there like a fool for a good couple of minutes. I decided to come clean. Why travel all this way and not tell him my feelings?

"Yes my Lord. I've admired you as long as I can remember. I'm here to tell you I love you and I vow to be committed to you and only you." He didn't seem surprised as he took in my answer.

"I've heard your prayers. Never has anyone been so devoted to me, not even my own wife. I have to admit I've been in love with you too and seeing you here before me only makes those feelings stronger."

Before I knew it I was waking up in Shiva's bed with him lying beside me. Realization of what had happened hadn't even hit me when I heard a crash as the door to the bedroom flew open. An angry female figure appeared at the door whom I soon identified to be Shiva's wife, Parvati. "Shiva, who is this woman? How dare you bring someone else into our bedroom!" I could see the anger flaring in her eyes as I recalled the warning of the servant girl from earlier. Parvati's fiery gaze shifted to me as she began to yell at me. "How dare you trick my husband! You must be a truly wicked person because my husband would never stray from me of his own free will." She began to curse me. "You'll pay for what you've done! From this day forth you will be a frog. You'll be as hideous on the outside as you must be on the inside for doing such a thing." Parvati stormed off leaving me to mull over my punishment.

I began to weep as the reality of what was to come sank in. A frog! How would I survive? My looks were everything I had! Shiva would never love me now. At the thought of losing my love I began to cry harder. "My love, please don't cry." Shiva tried to console me. "You will receive your punishment but I promise you that in twelve years you will be reborn as a woman. You will be even more beautiful than you are now and you will have a family whom you'll love. Now follow me, I'll take you to a well close by. You will be safe to stay there for the duration of your curse." Not having another option, I knew I had to trust Shiva and hope it would all turn out alright.

Author's Note: I decided to start of this story by talking about Mandodari's birth and life before Ravana. Before she was reborn as Mandodari she was a celestial Nymph named Madhura. Because of a mistake she was turned into a frog for 12 years and reborn as Mandodari. This story doesn't appear in the Ramayana so I felt like it would be good to include. I thought this would be a very interesting story to tell and give the reader more background in who Mandodari is. In this story, Mandodari is telling her daughter's about her life before she was reborn as the woman she is now. Her daughters are teenagers during this time and getting closer to the age where they'll get married. Since this storybook is told through Mandodari to her daughters I thought it would be important for her to include stories that might help them. Especially since there were things she couldn't share when they were younger. This story leaves off with her becoming a frog. This sets the stage for her to be reborn and meet Ravana. In her next life she's a very faithful and loyal women. I feel like this may have something to do with the second chance she was given.

Bibliography:

• Five Holy Virgins, Five Sacred Myths: A Quest for Meaning by Pradip Bhattacharya