How to Feel Good and Stay Strong as a Kid Growing Up Abroad? (2025)

How to Feel Good and Stay Strong as a Kid Growing Up Abroad - A Brief Guide for Kids (for Second-Generation Expats)

The world is changing fast, and sometimes life can feel confusing—especially when you’re growing up in a different country than your parents did. Maybe you feel like you don’t totally belong in one place, or you sometimes feel different from the kids around you. This guide will help you understand:

• Why things can feel stressful or complicated sometimes.

• What really helps when you feel lonely, upset, or unsure about where you fit in.

• What things seem like they help—but actually don’t in the long run.

• Small things you can do every day to feel more connected and confident.

Why Do Things Feel Complicated Sometimes?

When you grow up in a different country than your parents, things can feel both exciting and confusing at the same time.

• You might speak two languages (or more) and sometimes feel different from kids who only speak one.

• You might have different traditions at home than your friends do, and that can feel special—but also like you don’t always fit in.

• Your parents might not totally understand what it’s like to grow up in your country, and you might not fully understand what their childhood was like either.

• You might feel like you have two homes, but also like you don’t fully belong in either one.

These feelings are normal, and a lot of kids who grow up in another country feel the same way—even if they don’t talk about it.

What Actually Helps When You’re Feeling Stressed or Confused?

The most important thing that helps people feel happy and strong is having good friendships and people who care about you.

Scientists have studied thousands of people and found that the happiest and healthiest ones all had strong friendships and good relationships. That matters more than school grades, money, or even how much exercise you get.

The best friendships and groups:

• Let you be yourself without worrying about being judged.

• Are consistent and supportive—people check in on you and care about your feelings.

• Help you feel safe and important, not just someone to talk to.

• Make you feel better after spending time together, not worse.

Even having just one or two really good friendships can make a huge difference.

If you ever feel lonely or like you don’t fully belong, finding other kids who have a similar experience (other expat kids, bilingual kids, or kids who have mixed backgrounds) can be really helpful.

What Doesn’t Actually Help (Even If It Feels Like It Does)?

1. Too Much Screen Time

• Watching too many videos, scrolling online, or playing games alone might seem fun at first, but it can actually make you feel more lonely in the long run.

• Spending hours on screens won’t make you feel better forever.

2. Doing Really Well in School, But Ignoring Everything Else

• School and learning are important, but good grades don’t make up for feeling lonely or stressed.

• Even kids with perfect grades can feel unhappy if they don’t have strong friendships and time to relax.

3. Being in a Group That Doesn’t Make You Feel Good

• Just because you are in a sports club, music group, or activity doesn’t mean it’s making you happy.

• If you feel left out, judged, or like you don’t belong, it’s okay to look for other groups where you feel safer.

What You Can Do Every Day to Feel Better

Even small things can make a big difference in how you feel. Try to do at least one of these each day:

1. Spend Real Time with People Who Make You Feel Good

• Try to have one real conversation with a friend or family member each day.

• If you don’t have a strong friend group yet, start by talking to one person more often.

• Face-to-face time is better than just texting or playing online.

2. Take Breaks from Screens

• Try spending at least 30 minutes doing something fun without a screen—drawing, reading, playing outside, or just relaxing.

• No screens before bed helps your brain feel less stressed.

3. Do Something That Makes You Feel Like Yourself

• If you ever feel like you don’t totally belong in one place, remember that you can create your own mix of cultures, traditions, and interests.

• Spend time doing something that feels meaningful to you—whether it’s listening to music, cooking a family recipe, or celebrating holidays in your own way.

4. If You’re Feeling Stressed, Talk to Someone

• You don’t have to figure everything out alone.

• Talking to a friend, parent, teacher, or another adult you trust can make a big difference.

Final Thought

Growing up in another country can feel complicated, but it also means you have a unique way of seeing the world.

• The most important thing is to have strong, meaningful friendships and people who care about you.

• Even small actions, like talking to someone for a few minutes a day or doing something fun without a screen, can make a big difference.

• You don’t have to figure everything out alone—there are people who want to help and listen.