Digitally speaking, we are more connected than ever, yet we are still so lonely. Somehow in the era of content creation, discipleship has become something to be consumed rather than something to be lived out.

Now, I’ll admit, I love a good podcast to listen to while I get ready. Not to mention I already read way too many Christian books and it is rare for me to pass a faith-based Insta reel. Each of them gets the gears in my brain moving and they often even lead to conversation starters when I enter the secret place with my Father.

Though one day, I looked up and realized something. I had been consuming a lot of Christian content, yet it still felt lacking. I was watching these preachers and content creators’ lives unfold from my feed, with wisdom and truth to share. They were men and women of the faith that I trusted and truly felt built up by. Though it felt as though it was from a distance. That disconnect resonated in my soul, and it left me with a question: how come the consumption of Christian content is often chosen in our generation over seeking a mentor for guidance? Has discipleship changed, or have we merely forgotten what it looks like?

I’m not here to tell you that listening to sermons or podcasts ruins your spiritual health. Quite the opposite; you should be listening to them! But it seems to have become such a trend as of late that it should raise some questions and have some guardrails.

Everywhere, Christians are making content for uplifting people and imparting their wisdom. There are Substack feeds, TikToks, YouTube documentaries, blogs, music, podcasts, and really anything else you can think of. People are sharing their stories, testimonies, and the word of God. It is beautiful, but it feels distant...almost as if it’s an overload of information that lacks genuine relationships. It feels…misunderstood.

At some point, we crossed the line and made this content a replacement for true biblical discipleship. Finding a mentor looks challenging, so we settle for comfort. We watch our “mentor” through a screen. We don’t get to live life with them, we aren’t known by them, and sometimes we are just eating the crumbs of their relationship with God.

This has caused us to enter into an era of disconnected discipleship. Through this article, I hope to bring light to what this means and remind us of the heart of community and living our faith alongside each other.

Trusting the Talk, Hiding the Walk

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” 1 Corinthians 11:1

Discipleship loses connection with distance. Teachings and encouragement fall short when a mentee can not observe their mentor.

I have listened to many different platforms of pastors, ministry leaders, or just Jesus-loving people who have shared their gut-wrenching testimonies. I have flipped through book chapters, hearing of how someone came from one season to the next with new inspiration. I have even heard about the faith that they exhibited, the doubt they overcame, and the goodness of God through it all.

All of this is great, yet I never saw it.

Now, we do hope for what is unseen, so don’t hear me saying I have to see it to believe it. What I am saying is that by consuming this type of recalled memory discipleship, I have to trust in what they say. I can’t see them practice what they preach; I only get one side of the equation.

The whole wonder of Jesus’ ministry is that he had the disciples following Him closely. He told them to do as He taught and did. Think of Him washing the feet of the disciples. Do you think He could have communicated  that same lesson more than the action of Him, the Son of God, stooping down to wash a sinner’s feet? No!

Paul even goes on to say later that people should follow him as he follows Christ. That leads us to understand that discipleship is more than just hearing powerful teachings, but it is also about observing someone living out their faith. Being able to witness how they handle situations and hold themselves accountable speaks for itself and rubs off on those who are learning.

When discipleship is based on social media, you are inherently losing a crucial point of your faith-building. Because when two or more come together and allow their lives to be seen and spoken into, is where discipleship flourishes. The ability to watch someone surrender to God in the span of a year speaks to us more than a thirty-second reel every could. Why? Because it’s raw and unfolding before our eyes.

Discipleship is messy and not well curated. It doesn’t match algorithms or trends. It is honest, present, and can not happen without close communion.

An Unknown Username

“For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church.” 1 Corinthians 4:17

Discipleship loses connection when it lacks relationships. Because discipleship is more than correcting, it is living life with someone. It would be a shame for a mentee not to feel known by their mentor.

As I enjoy Christian content, I  find myself watching the lives of music artists and speakers through their curated profiles. I get excited with their accomplishments and almost feel connected because I’m seeing their life play out in pictures on my feed. Yet, in those moments when I go to comment or like a story, it occurs to me; I’m another one of thousands.

No matter how much I know about them, they don’t know me.

I don’t say that to throw a pity party or blame creators for their lack of care; I am merely stating a fact. No content creator can know each of their followers intimately. But let’s look at it from the lens of Christians who are seeking their discipleship through media. How do you think they are feeling in their walk of faith? Alone? Forgotten? In fact, it would seem nobody knows anything about their life, much less the sin they are in desperate need of confessing.

Now, Jesus was special in the knowledge department. We can take the woman at the well for example. But let me tell you this: we know Jesus to be One who seeks the 1 out of the 99.  He does not attend to the masses, but disciples the few. That mindset actually allows Him to know people more intimately. (And also because He’s God).

But take Paul, for example. He sent Timothy on a mission and called him the son he loved. That isn’t just a random creator’s automated message being sent to your inbox. That right there is evidence of a relationship between the two of them. Paul was an example to Timothy in how he taught and lived life with him. Why, because he knew him. He knew Timothy’s strengths and worked on guiding him towards growth. That speaks wonders.

When discipleship becomes something to observe online instead of a practice lived alongside one another, loneliness is inevitable. On the other hand, friendship and a safe space keep us from being stagnant and create belonging.

Discipleship is intimate and holy. It can not be fabricated because it’s meant to point us closer to God.

Where is God?

“Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:1-2

Discipleship becomes disconnected when God is merely just a topic. Scripture and testimonies are inspiring, but God is relational and is to be experienced. He is our ultimate mentor.

I love talking about God. I could share about His goodness and kindness all the days of my life (and I might try). So listening to people talk about God is comforting to me. I love listening to like-minded individuals who have the same passion for the God I know and love. Yet, if I merely hear about Him, but don’t go to Him in the secret place, then what good is wisdom if it doesn’t begin with the fear of the Lord?

And more than anything– I would miss the whole point.

I know I have spent a lot of time talking about a mentor and a mentee relationship, and I still believe this idea counts for this section. Because at the end of the day, the only reason discipleship exists is to bring people to know God. Not just the acceptance of the gospel, but running with someone in their race of endurance. It’s about helping them keep the faith, not just find it.

But that, of course, starts with Jesus. He is the Way, The Truth and The Life. He is The Good Shepherd and our Lord and Savior. The whole reason we do any of this is to know Him. Before we can call others to Him, He has to first call us to Himself. And we can’t get distracted thinking that content is going to be the mediator to get to God. Because Jesus is our High Priest, not Facebook.

Paul reminds us to follow God’s example and that we are first and foremost children of God. We need discipleship, but more than that, we need the God who convicts, encourages, and disciplines us with unending mercy and grace. I fear that if our discipleship has become disconnected from each other, what does that mean for our relationship with God?

Have we somewhere along the way settled for mediocrity? Have we forsaken what true communion with God and others is supposed to be like? Have we allowed the world to define something biblical?

Discipleship was God’s idea. It’s messy, but it’s holy. It takes time, but it’s rewarding. It is good and built for connection. And it is a kind gift from our Father.

Connection Breakthrough

We have disconnected discipleship not because it’s been forgotten, but because it’s been rebranded into something it was never meant to be. We have taken the good that we have and somehow lost the heart behind it all.

Discipleship is more than a checklist or a level to get to in your faith. It is not merely words of wisdom, It is a way of life from the Lord and it must be done with others. It is the time of bearing one another's burdens, rejoicing and mourning, confessing sins, singing praises, and bringing encouragement. It can not be done through a pre-recorded lecture; it has to come from friendship.

Christian content can not be our foundation. And if you agree with what I’ve said, we should come back to the real definition laid out in scripture of what discipleship looks like for the body of believers. Let’s read Acts 2:42-47. (emphasis mine)

The Fellowship of the Believers

42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

This is discipleship. Togetherness. May we all strive to live this out as God has so clearly shown us.