Poetry 

How does the moon, so beautiful and free 

Shine so bright in the darkness 

Illuminating the way for all to see

Even those who are selfish and heartless

How do I dance in her illuminate glow 

Without feeling unworthy of love 

How do I sing her the songs from my soul

If I’m someone she wouldn’t be proud of

Who are you?

Buried deep in the Earth.

A shadow amongst the graveyard.

Comfy in your sarcophagus 

Where Karma can no longer find you.

What more did you do

That I haven’t already heard?

The stories you whisper in my ears

have become such a bore

Over the long and dreadful years.

The same ones 

Over and Over 

Drilled into my head. 

The villain one moment 

And the victim the next.

Back and forth 

Like a rowboat 

On a sea of regrets.

"You've been asleep too long" 

The moss whispers

Over and over

As it grows around me 

Cementing me in place

I open my eyes 

And feel heavy

Groggy

Like I'm nothing more than a rock 

A piece of the Earth 

But I don't mind

At least not as much as the moss seems too 

For once the air feels cool against my face 

And I feel warm

Oh so warm

Like a lizard

On a rock

And it's nice

And I begin to think to myself

That I could stay here forever

In this dense forest of moss 

And trees 

But for some reason

The moss disagrees

"You've been here too long" 

It whispers in my ear

"Far too long" 

"Too too long" 

"You need to get up" 

All the while it shrouds around me

Pulling me deeper into the Earth 

Until I can no longer move

But I don’t mind 

Because it’s warm 

And after all

The moss is bound to win eventually 

Every night, as I stare at the sky

I can see the stars

Whisper quietly among themselves

Looking down upon Earth

As they watch and wait and wonder

How we all turned out

And I wish I could tell them about

The art we create

The songs we sing

The stories we write

The love we share

I wish I could tell them

That sometimes it is good down here

That it’s not always bad

That it’s the little things that mean the most

The blooming of flowers

Or the sound of the rain

Or the warmth of the sun on a cold, windy day

I wish I could tell them

What it meant to be human

With bones made of stardust

And minds as deep as the sea

With emotions so large

They could rival the galaxy

If just for a moment

I could crawl out of my body

Crack open my skull

And let my brain free

Like a parasite

A rodent

A leech

So it may crawl into the body

Of somebody new

Somebody healthy

Who's sickness has never felt

Like an infestation

If just for a moment I could feel it

The euphoria of health

If I could breathe

If I could run

If I could live

I'd be unstoppable

I'd never leave

Like a monster

I'd take over

A criminal

A thief

I'd say

"This is mine now."

And nobody could stop me

I'd ruin it

I'd run it into the ground

If just for a moment

Of freedom

Where I wouldn't have to care

If the simple act of living

Would hurt me

And it would be worth it

Every second

Would be bliss

If just for a moment

I could let the envy fade

Maybe the voices

Would stop whispering

"Give me your body."

As I look down at my scars and bruises

The wounds that never seem to heal

And they beg and criticize

"Give it to me!"

"Make it stop!"

"It hurts!"

"We're trying our best!"

"You're weak!"

"It's never enough!"

If just for a moment

I could be healthy

Then maybe the voices

Would finally stop

I am body horror

I am nightmares

I am the bruises

That never fade

I am the angry red lines

From a single itch

I am the popping of joints

That send shooting pain

I am the thinned, white scars

That come from nowhere

I am the nails

That crack and break

I am the bleeding

I am the throbbing

I am the ache

In every limb

I am the nausea

That starves me

I am burning pain

That infects my nerves

I am the fog and fatigue

That never ends

I am sloughing of skin

After every shower

I am the horror

I am the nightmare

The ripping

Pulling

Stabbing

My jaw separating

From my skull

Teeth

Falling in droves

Across my pillow

A bed made of my blood

Beneath me

And maybe

If I beg hard enough 

It might just let me drown in it

Into the abyss

Of my suffering 

It's just a dream

I tell myself

When I wake up

But my jaw still aches

And the stabbing never fades

"If you make 1,000 paper cranes, you'll get one wish!"

It was a comfort when I was young

To obsessively

fold... fold... fold...

Thinking that surely at some point

I'd reach 1,000

And the universe would reward me

Am I there yet?

Are my cranes not beautiful enough?

Did I not count right?

As I stand to grab more paper

I feel a crunch beneath my foot

And collapse in a fit of sorrow

My sobs drown the crumpled bird

Craddled in my hands

As my heart shatters

The Universe must teach us patience

But how can I not believe it's cruel

When my little bird lays lifeless in my hands

And I am powerless to death once again