You want real gain? Look into your pain.

You say you wanna revolution, well, you know, we all want to change the world. Great song, great lyrics by John and Paul. Check it out if you're not familiar. Here let's talk about the common adage: no pain, no gain This is a popular theme in these pages. We talk about it when we talk about Socrates, too. Click here to read that and then come back here. 

The truth of this simple premise seems obvious. Life seems to be full of sorrow, strife and pain. Only after many years, some of us seem to be able to get what we all want: a feeling of security, safety, self-esteem, freedom from hunger, cold and loneliness in the form of a job, car, house, a loving partner. 

Yet, this story is just a story and the reality of the planet we all live on seems to be somewhat different. I can't get no satisfaction, sings another superstar from a couple of generations ago. Or, another one from only one generation ago goes ahead and kills himself. Mental anguish caused by confusion caused by some disorder in our brain chemistry, caused by... what?

Many many things seem to contribute to what goes on in our minds. The brain chemistry is a big one. The environment we were brought up in as little children is another. The DNA spelled out by the chromosomes in each cell of our bodies seem to be responsible, at least partly. And, who can ignore the daily stress of daily life, all the hurt we accumulated in our past, all the fearful predictions of future possibilities that over burden our minds. 

All that, our wise ancestors boiled down to "no pain no gain." They simplified things for us. They just remind us to be patient with the pain we feel now, it's all good and it will lead to profit for you tomorrow. 

And, we bought it (do you wonder why we trust some and suspect others? Come back and read on). We said: pain is good for me. I gotta exercise to the point of pain so that my muscles gain. I gotta push myself in everything I do, so that I achieve more and more and more, and not only shall I be happy eventually, but, oh not to feel too selfish about it, I convince myself that I do it all for my kids. And, that does help. Nobody wants to look selfish, let alone feel selfish. 

Yet, many do. And feeling selfish, feeling bad, is not a good and sustainable feeling. So, we say things like everybody is selfish. Or, we all do things that benefit ourselves. Every man for himself, every woman for herself.

Do you feel the circularity of all of this kind of talk? Isn't it much simpler to pull your hands away from fire and not be burnt? Wouldn't a little child just do that instead of thinking, "oh, no pain no gain, I will let my finger burn." And, when a bit older and wiser, we believe the conclusion of many psychological studies that apparently show that kids who say no to marshmallows (delay the gratification!) turn out to be more successful academically or in life! How do those researchers define success, we need to wonder!

Pain, in fact any feeling we feel, is indeed for gain, but only if we understand what's causing that feeling and learn from it. Only when we perceive clearly, can we respond accurately to improve things for ourselves and for all. If, on the other hand, we hurt ourselves or others, creating more pain, we are making it harder to understand what's going on and will get more confused and more lost. 

Do no harm, any self-respecting physician needs to remind herself. That's the sane way to live.

I will hurt you and cause you pain, because that's how you gain! That's the psychopath's way.

I will push myself and cause myself pain and harm now, believing that to be the only way to be free of pain in the future. That's sadly one way the insane live. 

But, lest we be too sad about that - and what's the earthly use of that - let us remember, suffering may be the only teacher some of us can learn from yet. How about you? Do you need to suffer more now? 

I trust not. We are in need of nothing but the truth. May you find your truth within and be free here and now. How do I do that, you might ask. If so, you may want to eat some, er, read on.