(Intro) There are children suffering with mental illnesses because of their parents. There is a certain style of parenting that has many negative effects on the child that may go unnoticed. This style of parenting is called Authoritative Parenting. It is a style of parenting where the main focus is on control, discipline, and obedience instead of effectively teaching and guiding their children through life with nurture, compassion, and understanding. Authoritative parents may do it in the name of love, however, they fail to realize that it’s all about impact over intent. There’s a certain type of wisdom that these parents lack and it results in long term negative outcomes on the child’s overall mental health and stunts the emotional bond that is needed between the parent and the child. Children from dysfunctional families tend to suffer with mental illnesses such as depressive and anxious disorders. Therefore, parents should participate in parent training programs before becoming a parent in order to avoid being the cause of their child’s mental health issues.
(Background): It is reasonable to assume that authoritarian parents are indeed toxic. According to WebMd, authoritarian parenting behaviors include shaming instead of positive reinforcement, being very impatient with misbehavior, they’re harshly critical, and have trust issues. These parents fail to realize that their children are people too and that they should treat them as such. Children are people deserving of positive reassurance, patience, grace, and trust. There are children who feel the need to constantly be hiding something, even if it’s something as inherently innocent as being on the phone with your friend or wanting to go see a movie with them. This is simply because their parents lack trust in them, and did not properly teach them how to make good decisions. They don't know that in order to establish trust within their children, they need to first teach their children how to make good decisions. How can they teach them about decision making if the child never feels comfortable enough to go to their parents for advice due to fear of being shamed for their mistakes? These are also the type of parents to invade the child’s privacy and have no regard for how the child feels about it. To add on, According to Psychosocial Rehabilitation Specialist Kendra Cherry, authoritarian parents also are demanding but not responsive, unwilling to negotiate rules, and they believe that children should be seen not heard. For example, these parents tend to set very high expectations for their children while also not caring if the children are even able to meet those standards or not. It is safe to say that they do not care about the child’s emotional well-being and can result in the child not wanting anything to do with their parents in the future. Therefore, authoritarian parents are emotionally unintelligent.
Although it is safe to say that authoritarian parents are toxic, it is also important to consider the reason why they are the way that they are. One of the main reasons why parents are so strict is because of fear. According to Pamela Li, Ms, MBA, “some strict parents are controlling because they fear being seen as incompetent parents if their children make mistakes. Such parents are more concerned about their own feelings and insecurity than their children’s well-being.” Unfortunately, there’s the idea that the best behaved children are parented in the best ways, which is a very toxic ideology. The saying, “Hurt people hurt people”, also applies to parents too. Another of the main reasons authoritarian parents are so strict is because they grew up with these same types of parents and that’s the only way that they know how to parent.