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In this section, we will be discussing a scenario and as a friend of the main character, how would we help him?
Prepare a paper and a pen so we can write down our thoughts as we do this activity together!
Tally up your points and see how much peer support you can give!
Background:
Martin was having unsatisfactory academic results in the exam and he was punished by his parents for not meeting their expectations. He came back to school today and cried during recess. You are his best friend, John, and you will try your best to support Martin in the following scenarios.
Martin came and talked with him to complain about how his parents don't understand him and always punished him.
What will you usually do?
You tried to distract Martin by talking about other things. However, he still kept saying he was always punished by his parents.
You gave Martin a hug and said “everything will be fine.” You tried to comfort him by telling him about your own story.
You listened and tried to summarise what Martin was facing. You told Martin that he also faced the same problem before. Apart from relating to his feelings, You also provided some methods to help Martin solve his problem.
Option 3 should be the best option:
Summarising and relating to Martin's problems is a great way to provide comfort and reassurance. More importantly, he provided some practical ways for his friend to solve his problems. Even if those suggestions don't provide much help, it is a great way to show care and support to your friend.
After recess, Martin's teacher, Miss Chan asked Martin to call his parents for a meeting in the school to discuss about his grades at school. Martin panicked and asked you us "What should I do! I am so scared!"
What would you usually do?
You tried to reflect on his feelings, saying that you understand his fear of the teacher and his parents. While providing positive encouragement for him to face this problem
You tried to cheer him up by suggesting that he should forget about the teacher and his parents and go play with you
You scolded Martin for being a coward and judged him for his grades saying that he should work on his grade more to prevent this from happening again
Option 1 should be the best option:
Giving reflections by rephrasing and repeating can act as a confirmation of his feeling and encourages continued self-exploration.
After school, Martin told us that he is still scared of his parents. He told you, "I have heard that drinking alcohol can make you relaxed and more courageous, maybe I can steal my dad's booze and get drunk, then I will have the courage to tell them about the meeting!"
How will you respond?
"Don't you know drinking alcohol is bad for you? It will damage your body in many different ways! I can't believe you even considered that!"
"What do you think is the worse that could happen if you tell your parents about the meeting? I understand your fear but you have to consider the effects of alcohol on your body as well."
"Stop being a chicken! You will take responsibility for your grades and tell your parents about the meeting. It's for your own good."
Option 2 Should be the best option:
By asking open-ended questions, we can understand Martin's concerns, values, and goals. It can help us give more detailed advice based on his situation. It also enables him to reflect on his thoughts and make more rational decisions.
You can check out more about knowledge of drugs and alcohol by clicking this link
Martin finally told his parents about the meeting without the influence of alcohol. He later told you that it wasn't as scary as he thought and thanked you for giving him support and advice.
If you scored 3/3 points, that’s great! You know how to be a supportive friend. Keep that up!
If you scored only 1 or 2 points, here are some tips on how to be a more supportive peer:
Understanding and listening
Provide comfort
Affirm their feelings are valid
Lend a shoulder to cry on
Offer physical support if appropriate
Use appropriate communication style
Create a safe environment for people to share their feelings
Be empathetic