the choosing of a squire
(After the usual theme song, the camera pans to SANTIAGO and MARGARITA, who are staring at their cell phones and unaware that they are on screen. Someone behind the camera clears their throat and SANTIAGO whips his eyes up, realizing with horror that they are both on camera, and elbows MARGARITA. They both quickly stash their phones underneath the desk and quickly readjust and situate themselves for the news special.)
SANTIAGO: Good evening, La Mancha. We are your favorite news anchors at MCS-TV1, Santiago and Margarita, reporting to you live this fine evening full of extremely annoying traffic .
MARGARITA: That’s right, Santiago! We have reports of two mild vehicle accidents on the corner of Calle Cańete and Calle Teruel that are conveniently several feet from each other. Both are severely blocking all of traffic and causing quite the fuss.
(The camera cuts to a scene of the traffic caused by the accidents and shows many angry citizens getting out of their cars and starting violent riots in response to how slow movement is. Windows are smashed and car horns honk before the camera returns to a concerned SANTIAGO and MARGARITA.)
SANTIAGO: In other news, the remarkable Don Quixote, whom you may have seen on our special last week at his knighting ceremony, has been readying himself for his very first knightly adventure. In preparation, he has set out looking for a squire of sorts and came upon the unfortunate Sancho Panza, allegedly the poorest man in all of La Mancha. We have a live reporter at the scene to get the story from Sancho Panza himself. Over to you, Diego.
(The camera turns to an unenthused DIEGO holding a microphone and standing by a ragged, poorly-dressed, and hungry-looking man, SANCHO PANZA. He is holding a pitchfork and his donkey’s reins while staring blankly into the camera.)
DIEGO: Hi there, Sancho Panza. We have heard that Don Quixote has chosen you to be his squire for his first adventure. Do you mind telling us a little bit about how this selection came about and how you feel about your first upcoming adventure?
SANCHO: Well, I’m not really sure… I was just walking down the road with my favorite donkey here and out of nowhere this man with a mustache and armor approached me, telling me I looked like the perfect squire for him… I don’t know what makes someone look like a squire but, you know, I must have been doing a good job at whatever it was… He then promised me I could be governor of the first island he conquers and that about just sealed the deal for me.
(SANCHO drops his pitchfork and places his hand over his face as his body shakes with sobs and snorts. DIEGO hesitates before gently patting his back and looking behind him for anyone who could provide assistance to the uncomfortable situation.)
I’m sorry… I’m just so happy because I’ve never been so complimented in my life and I’ve always wanted to be a governor… He’s even letting me bring my favorite donkey with me. Man, I’m just so excited to be famous… and a governor!
(SANCHO wanders off with his donkey, though it is unclear where he is going. DIEGO assumes the interview is over and next approaches DON QUIXOTE, who is sitting with his foot propped against an old tree stump while polishing his armor and smoking a cigar.)
DIEGO: Hello, Don Quixote. Congratulations… We have heard about your new squire selection, Sancho Panza, and wanted to ask you to share with us about your first upcoming adventure.
DON QUIXOTE: Why yes, I have chosen a fine squire to assist me on my first adventure. Any good knight must have a squire to share with in the labors and rewards of knightly adventures. I was sitting outside the inn shortly after the knighting ceremony and as soon as I saw Sancho Panza walking down the road, I instantly had a feeling that he was the most loyal and hard-working man in the entire world and that he would be the perfect squire for me. So I introduced myself to him and told him of my greatness and my knightly adventures. He didn’t really know what I was talking about, but as soon as I told him he could bring his donkey, he accepted the position.
(DON QUIXOTE looks over his shoulder to see if Sancho Panza is near and whispers to the camera.)
I couldn’t tell him “No” when he asked if his hideous donkey could come, although it’s the most unsightly beast I’ve ever seen in my life. I am certain he will embarrass my steed, Rocinante, and me while we are on the road but I will be on the search for a fine steed to replace that monster. Please spread the word if anyone has an extra stallion they are not using.
As for the nature of my journey, I am not certain at this moment, but I do know that it is extremely likely that I will conquer an island of sorts. I have not decided where we will be setting off in the morning, but expect to hear great things of our travels and for our fame and renown to spread throughout the lands. I suspect that by early next week, everyone in the country will know the name Don Quixote… so remain on the lookout for that.
(DIEGO turns to the camera as DON QUIXOTE saunters away to finish polishing his armor.)
DIEGO: Thank you very much, Don Quixote. You heard him, folks! Back to you, Santiago and Margarita.
(The camera pans back to the news station where SANTIAGO and MARGARITA are both asleep on their desks, with SANTIAGO even drooling on his hand. They are both suddenly awakened by the cameras and resume their normal positions.)
MARGARITA: Thanks for joining us this evening, people of La Mancha, and stay tuned to hear more about the adventure of Don Quixote and his squire, Sancho Panza. His initial departure yesterday has been delayed to what we believe will be tomorrow at dawn, so be sure to check back in for the newest updates. Until then, this is Margarita and Santiago at MCS-TV1. Have a good night.
Bibliography: Stories of Don Quixote, Written Anew for Young People by James Baldwin (Originally written in Spanish by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra).
Author’s Note: In the original story about Don Quixote finding a squire, he had always taken a fancy to the poor Sancho Panza and asked him to follow him on his journey as a squire. I kept the premise of the story and what Don Quixote asked and promised him the same, but I thought it would be funny if Don Quixote had never met him before and randomly met him on the side of the road. It seemed like a crazy thing Don Quixote would do to have a feeling that Sancho Panza would be a great squire and ask him right away. I also changed that Don Quixote was still at the inn, rather than back in the village, so that the story would be continuous with the knighting ceremony in the adventure before and so it would be even more random for Don Quixote to stumble upon Sancho Panza.
I also expanded on how silly the news anchors, Santiago and Margarita, as well as the news station they work at are. They are an underfunded and local station, so they do not have very good reports and it is always fun to write how incompetent and lacking they are in their news specials. Writing their funny little mannerisms and the silliness of Don Quixote’s interviews have quickly become my favorite parts of the story to tell. I have made it a point to place the other character’s interviews before Don Quixote’s so they can hear the real story before they hear Don Quixote’s crazy version.
I also included the contrast between Sancho Panza's ugly donkey and Don Quixote's horse, Rocinante. The word Rocín translates in Spanish as a low-quality work horse, which shows the true nature of the steed that Don Quixote ironically holds in such high esteem. Similarly, Sancho Panza's name translates as "belly" for Panza and sanchismos for his first name, meaning he provides comments of humor and wit throughout the story. Both of these choices of names were very clever on Cervantes' part so I decided to build off of them and try to explore the aspects of the names for each.
This adventure in the story serves to expand on the craziness of the characters and introduce Sancho Panza, who will be very important on Don Quixote’s travels. Now that he is officially knighted and has a squire of his own, he is finally able to set out on the adventure he has been talking about for so long. Stay tuned to see what comes next!
