(After a brief theme song, two news anchors seated at a desk smile gravely into the camera.)

MARGARITA: Good evening to the people of La Mancha and thanks for tuning into MCS-TV 1. Your news anchors, Santiago and I, have some breaking news we would like to share with you concerning one of our very own community members, 50- year old Alonso Quixano. He has gathered quite the attention over the last few days as he has allegedly begun to refer to himself as "Don Quixote" while wearing an old suit of armor.

SANTIAGO: That's right, Margarita, neighbors of Mr. Quixano's have reported observing him pacing outside of his house at all hours of the day and into the night while reading his books. It is unclear whether Mr. Quixano has slept in some time or if he truly is choleric. We can confirm that he has been angry and temperamental to everyone he has spoken with. Here's his neighbor, Mr. Sancho Panza, with his side of the story.

(SANTIAGO and SANCHO PANZA stand outside in the hot summer sun in front of Mr. Panza's house.)

SANCHO PANZA: Oh, yes, Mr. Quixano... he seems really, uh, he seems... different lately. Yeah, he doesn't seem like... uh, well like himself lately. I suppose I oughta talk to him and, you know... see if he's, uh, see if he's okay.

SANTIAGO: Well... thank you, Mr. Panza. That was very helpful and enlightening. Back to you, Margarita.

(Margarita stares into the camera for several uncomfortable seconds before realizing she is back on screen.)

MARGARITA: Yes, thank you, Santiago. As you can see, Mr. Panza has personally observed Mr. Quixano's strange behavior lately and he is not the only one who has noticed.

(Margarita stands next to a beautiful young woman holding a garden hoe as she takes a brief break from her farming duties.)

MARGARITA: Hi there, here we are with another of Mr. Quixano's neighbors, Miss Aldonza Lorenzo. Aldonza, can you tell us a little bit about what you've noticed with Mr. Quixano lately?

ALDONZA: Hi, yes, I am Mr. Quixano's neighbor and he has started acting stranger than usual lately. We normally chat here and there- nothing serious- but lately he has been winking at me and blowing me kisses throughout the day when he looks up from his book... I'm really not sure what to think of that because I barely know him, but I would say that it is definitely abnormal and makes me slightly uncomfortable.

MARGARITA: Thank you, Aldonza for an eyewitness account of Mr. Quixano's bizarre behaviors. Now, let's hear from the man himself.

(Aldonza smiles and retreats from the camera as Alonso Quixano steps in front of the screen, seen blowing Aldonza a kiss and winking sensually at her.)

MARGARITA: Hello there, Mr. Quixano. We just wanted to ask you what's been going on lately. Some of your neighbors have reported strange activity and are beginning to worry about you. Can you tell us a little a bit about the last few days for you?

ALONSO: I'll tell you what's been going on! There's hundreds of adventures out there in the wild that we are taking for granted! It is my true calling to be a knight in armor- a hero even- on these adventures and so I have changed my name to Don Quixote. Which I would appreciate if you would please call me from now on. Now trust me, I've read all of those books about adventure and chivalry, so I know what I'm doing and I will be famous soon! Just you wait!

(Don Quixote rushes from the camera to his home, yipping and hollering the whole way. Margarita turns to face the camera with a confused stare.)

MARGARITA: Well there, folks, you have it. He said it himself that he is to become a famous hero, so I suppose we'll have to wait and see. We'll keep you updated on Mr. Quixano- er, Don Quixote. My name is Margarita and this is MCS-TV 1. Thanks for watching.

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