Seed and Fertilizer on Credit

There were two stores in Orrville. Caroline and Jerry Phillips traded at McHugh’s Mercantile. The Phillips family had traded there since long before Jerry and Caroline had gotten married. Caroline hoped that long business relationship could be helpful to her. There were things Caroline must have if she was going to keep the farm going. She had marked on the calendar the day she would go to ask for what she needed for the farm.

March 10 was circled on the calendar, and the time had come. Caroline took a deep breath when she stopped at the door to McHugh’s Mercantile on one month after Ash Wednesday, 1941. For just a moment, she looked back at the Dodge pickup truck, setting her resolve. And then she turned the knob of the store’s door.

If Caroline had been wearing a blindfold, she would have known where she was. It was the smell, a smell that came home with the weekly groceries. Even the shirts and workpants she bought for Jerry had carried that scent when he first put them on. She smiled as she thought about how he had smelled when he came up from behind during his brief home visit. He had been holding the new pants from McHugh’s, the pants she had put out for him. “You going to let me put these on finally?” he had teased her. She had laughed and reminded him that the boys would be coming in from school in a half hour.

Now, this store, the chicken house, the cloth through which she filtered the milk, even Jerry’s pillow: all these odors hovered at the boundaries of her life.

Young Charlie Hare was at the front counter. It amused her to see him stand straighter as she walked in. Charlie always tried to be such a hot-shot.

Charlie nodded, “Afternoon, Mrs. Phillips.”

“Hello, Charlie. I didn’t know you had started working here after school.”

“I needed some money, Mrs. Phillips. That’s all.”

“What’s all this formal stuff calling me Mrs. Phillips? I must not be but about three years older than you.” She was surprised that he blushed, and his eyes averted hers when she stepped up to the counter. Sometimes, when she had come in with Jerry, she knew Charlie stared at her.

She had asked Jerry if he had noticed that Charlie never blinks. Jerry had frowned. “Really? Never?”

“Well, almost never.” She had said. “His eyes … . Look at them sometime.”

“Don’t be surprised at none of that stuff from Charlie.” Jerry had put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her to him. “He’s just at that age. You don’t need to worry about him none. He ever bothers you, just let me know. He’s just thinking he’s a hot shot now after being in the backfield for the football team and playing forward on the basketball team.”

Caroline wondered if maybe Charlie was settling down a bit. He had shaved off his usual stubble of a beard. Maybe Mr. McHugh had told him he had to shave to work in the store.

“Miss Caroline. Is that better?” He changed his greeting. A grin had spread across Charlie’s face. “I got this job ‘cause I needed the money. That’s all. Mr. McHugh said I’m supposed to ask if I can help customers with anything. Can I help you with anything?”

She looked about the store, hoping that Joe McHugh wasn’t busy. “I’m glad you got this job, Charlie. It’ll be good for you. Just look. Here you are in charge of the whole store. I thought you’d be out playing basketball, or something.”

“No, ma’am. Not now.”

“What about baseball? Is there going to be a baseball team this year?”

Charlie shifted his weight and rubbed his left hand over the counter. “Yes, ma’am. The man from over in Uniontown … . He was supposed to come help us, but he got drafted. Course, he had just graduated from high school himself.”

“So, are you all not going to be able to play?”

“We’ll play. Might not be able to get any gas for going around, driving over to Silas, or Uniontown, or wherever. We’ll think of something.”

“The war and all,” she sighed. “Messes everything up.”

“You ought to know about all that, what with Jerry in the navy and being gone.” He grinned at her, and then looked away toward the back of the store.

She watched him until he turned back. “That’s right. I do know, Charlie. I miss Jerry. But, I know how to take care of myself.” She sniffed and looked around the store again. “I’m here to see Mr. McHugh. Is he in?”

Charlie nodded and looked toward the back of the store, again. “I think he’s out in the shed. He’ll be out there for a while, and almost nobody comes in at this time of day.” Charlie paused. “Maybe I can do something for you.” He grinned. “Before I go to get Mr. McHugh, I mean. You know?” Charlie shifted his weight again, leaning against the counter.

“Thank you, but I came in to see Mr. McHugh about farming business. Is he busy, or can you go get him?”

“With your husband gone, I’ll do whatever I can. For you, I mean.” Charlie grinned and then started toward the door to the stock room. Just before he stepped out the back door, he stopped and turned back. “Ma’am, I’m supposed to be watching the store. I don’t expect nobody, but if somebody comes in, tell ‘em that I’ll be right back.” Charlie turned and before the door completely closed, she saw him sprinting past the stock room shelves.

Caroline took a deep breath, and then sighed. Charlie was normally loud and rather aggressive when Jerry organized a tag ballgame down in the pasture. Jerry had teased her about how Charlie gave her a lot of attention whenever they took a break for her lemonade.

“Charlie can throw a mean pass.” That’s what Jerry had said one Sunday afternoon when the game was breaking up. “And, he don’t give us older studs any leeway. D’you see the way he blocked me? I had to remind him we weren’t wearing no pads. He pissed me off. Asked me if I couldn’t take it anymore.” Jerry had laughed as he turned back to watch as everyone was leaving. “If I was still in high school and playing, I’d have to bust his butt.” Jerry was serious when he turned back to her. “There’s one more thing. He goes crazy if somebody gives him a few beers. They shouldn’t be doing that, and he shouldn’t be drinking anyway. He’s underage. Takes after his mama’s family about that.”

Caroline figured Charlie’s roughness on the football field was all part of his game. But she had seen him put his fingers in both eyes of the best forward on the Thomasville’s basketball team. He got put out of the game for that flagrant meanness. She had been surprised at how he acted after being kicked out of the game. She expected him to be a little ashamed … regretful, even. Instead, he had taken off his shirt and stood on the bench. Finally, the referee had made him get off the sidelines and out of the gym.

Charlie had been expelled from school for a week in January when he had a fight with two boys from Camden. A bunch of them had been dancing down at The Spot in Safford. He claimed one of the Camden boys made some remark to his date. He had broken the nose of one of them and left the other sprawled on the floor. Word got out that the manager of The Spot came to the back room where the juke box was. He was carrying a baseball bat and told Charlie to take his date and get out. He told him to never come back.

All that was more than a year ago, back before Jerry and Dudley signed up, before they left for North Carolina. There would be no ballgames down in the pasture now. With Jerry gone, she had not really expected to see Charlie very much, and that would be fine with her. On the other hand, maybe his having a job in the store would help Charlie to settle down, to get some sense of responsibility.

Caroline looked around the store, waiting for Stephan McHugh. She idly scanned the shelves filled with canned vegetables, loaves of bread, fresh collards, and turnips. A hoop of cheese and a coffee-bean grinder sat at the end of the counter. The cold meat showcase stretched across the back of the big room.

If Jerry had been there, he’d have walked to the soft drink case, lifted the lid, and gotten himself a large Nehi orange. She would have shaken her head and said no when he looked up to see if she wanted one, too.

Caroline walked to the side of the store where clothes were sold. Shoes, shirts, and workpants were stacked on large counters. A big mirror framed in dark wood stood in front of a glass counter. Customers would use this mirror to check the fit of their clothes selections. She turned, smiling at her reflection, proof that she had gotten her figure back after having Sonny and, then, Roger. She proudly smoothed the front of her skirt across her flat belly.

Caroline had made the cotton blouse she was wearing. She had saved enough of the blue material to fashion the scarf to wear with the blouse. It was no accident that the dress and head-scarf were almost the same color as her eyes.

A piece of yellow cloth was lying on the counter. She couldn’t help but touch it. It was smooth and silky. One of McHugh’s customers was going to make a Sunday dress, maybe in time for Easter. She would never have chosen yellow. Yellow blouses gave her olive complexion an unattractive tint. She thought it made her look like she still had malaria.

Caroline was standing at the clothing counter when Charlie burst through the back door. He looked about the store until he spotted her and, then, ran his fingers through his hair. “Can I get you something from over there?”

She turned. “No, Charlie.” He reminded her a little bit of how Jerry looked when he was that age, before he’d put on those extra pounds. “Just looking. Looking at store bought clothes.”

She glanced one more time toward her reflection in the mirror. “Did you tell Mr. McHugh I’m here?”

“Yeah. He said he’s coming.”

Caroline walked back across the store. “You’re going to be working here every afternoon?”

“Supposed to, but I might take some time off if something comes up. Anytime.”

She didn’t say anything.

“You remember that Dudley worked here before he graduated. Last week, Mr. McHugh asked me to come in. After school, you know.” Charlie pushed the charge ledger closer to the cash register. “What are you hearing from your old man and his buddy?”

“Jerry? You call him my old man?” She laughed. “He might not like that. But, yeah. I do. Not Dudley. He’s got no reason to write me.” She put her hand on the counter across from where Charlie was standing. “Of course, they both have gone on to California. Jerry called on the telephone once. Long distance.” She looked toward the door at the back of the store and then back to Charlie. “They’re both headed out before the summer is over. Him and Dudley.”

“Those two are … .” Charlie laughed. “You see one, you’d see the other. I wondered about that four years ago when I was the football team’s water boy, all that slap-ass in the locker room.”

Caroline frowned. “The way you talk, Charlie.”

Charlie went on. “I reckon we had the best football team ever with those two.”

Caroline looked down at the counter. Took a deep breath and decided to ignore his usual brash behavior. “I guess so. Back then, I wondered if Jerry didn’t love football more than he loved me. I promise you this. He’d rather be tossing a ball around than most anything.”

Charlie laughed. He looked away, and then turned back to Caroline. “I don’t believe that. I don’t.”

Caroline didn’t turn away from him. She started to respond. Then, she shrugged. “Those two were a pair. Still are.” She nodded. “But, next year’s going to be your turn. That’s right, isn’t it?”

“I reckon you mean in football. Yes, ma’am. I’m gonna be a senior when school starts next fall. If that’s what you mean.” He looked down at the counter. “And, I guess the summer after that, when we’re graduated and all, I expect I’ll do what Jerry did. I mean … before I get drafted and all that, you know?”

“You mean get married.”

He laughed. “Oh. No, ma’am. I won’t get married unless I have to. Like happened to you two.”

She turned away as he laughed.

Charlie went on. “Might happen. You never know. But, I meant I’m gonna sign up ‘fore the draft gets me. I ain’t gonna get no deferment like Jerry could have had. Dudley, neither. Wasn’t that crazy, him getting 4F. I heard he drank two percolators of coffee to get him that 4F. Dudley, I mean.”

Caroline had heard that, that Dudley drank lots of coffee to avoid the draft.

“I’m going to volunteer. Like Dudley did after Jerry told him that he had.”

Caroline looked out the big plate-glass windows, only halfway listening. “You ought to try to do that.” She turned back to Charlie. “Sign up before getting drafted. If you let yourself get drafted, they’re going to put you in the ground army. You know that, don’t you? That’s not what Jerry wanted.” She paused. “Dudley? He didn’t care where he was. I think he just wanted to do whatever Jerry was doing.”

“That’s the truth. You don’t reckon it’s going to be all over and they’ll be coming home before I get in, do you? My daddy. He didn’t get a chance in the other war. All he’s shot at is deer and wild hogs. And, turkeys.” Charlie looked down at his hands. “I wouldn’t want to be in the Army Air Corps, or on some ship. The Marines would be better. I want to see ‘em when I shoot ‘em.”

“Charlie! How can you say such a thing?”

“It’s war. They started it. And, I’m hoping it ain’t over before I get my chance.”

Caroline sniffed. “I’m sure you don’t mean that. For me, this one can’t be over soon enough.” She walked to the soft drink case and ran her hand over the top.

“You want a Coca-Cola?” Charlie asked.

She lifted the cover. “I was just thinking. Jerry would have gotten himself a Nehi Orange if he was here. I reckon you’re not selling many with him gone.”

“I’m all the time getting me a big orange. It’s my favorite, too. Seems like your old man and I like a lot of the same things.”

They looked toward the back of the store as the door opened. It was Stephan McHugh. “Howdy, Mrs. Phillips.” He wiped his hands on his pants as he walked toward the front of the store. Sometimes, when he would see her in her Sunday clothes, he’d take one of Caroline’s hands in both his and take her hands to his lips. Everybody talked about his genteel European manners. His head nodded in a hint of a bow. “It’s good to see you.”

She took his hand. “Thank you, Mr. McHugh.”

“Please. You know I’m Stephan to you.”

“Thank you, sir. And, how’s Mrs. McHugh?”

“Esther? She’s doing okay. You ought to come out. Esther says you’re almost a cousin, what with you being raised by her Aunt Lillian.”

“Thank you. And, I’d enjoy seeing Rosetta. She’s five now; isn’t that right?”

“Just a little Italian doll.” He looked around the store. “With the war going on, I do hope that we have lived in this community long enough not to be having trouble reminding folks about having an Italian family.” He opened his arms, palms up, and gave Caroline a big smile. “But, here you are, Mrs. Phillips. I am at your service. How can I help you, gentildonna?”

“You are so kind, Mr. McHugh. When it’s convenient, I’d like to have some of your time.”

A frown flashed momentarily across his face. “Any time. Any time. We have to take care of our boys’ families when they’re out fighting.” He walked behind the store counter, pulled a red bandana from his pocket, and wiped the counter. “The whole community is proud of your husband.” He glanced up to her. “Dudley, too. You have to let us know when you hear from either of our men in uniform.”

Caroline moved up close to the counter and wiped her hand over the cleaned surface. “I have been getting a card from Jerry about once a week and, as I told Charlie here,” she nodded toward Charlie. “Jerry called the other night, telling me they were about to sail out, again. Seems like they go in and out of San Francisco, doing all kind of things. Sometimes, they are towing targets for some other ship to shoot at. I guess his weekly postcards are going to stop, though.”

“Well, those Japs are going to be running when they hear that Jerry is on the way. It’s good Jerry will be looking out for that boy. Dudley, I mean.”

“I think those two take care of each other. Really.” Caroline looked back toward the front. Charlie turned away when their eyes met.

Stephan McHugh saw the two look toward each other. He leaned toward Caroline. “If you need me to send Charlie over to help you with something, I’ll be happy to.”

Caroline reached over and touched Stephan’s arm. “Everyone is so kind. It’s the farm I need to talk with you about. Can we talk in your office?”

“Sure. Please. Come with me.” He motioned toward the back of the store.

Caroline nodded and followed to the office in a back corner of the store. Stephan held the door open for her and waved to a chair as they stepped in. The office was just a little room, added after the store was built. Stephan sat behind the wooden desk piled with receipts, newspapers, and clipboards. The walls of the office had advertisements thumb-tacked onto the plywood paneling. Caroline was not surprised to see a calendar with what Jerry would have called a “pinup gal.”

Stephan watched as she looked around the room. He leaned back in his chair. A grin was on his face as he shrugged. “Sorry, Caroline. A man’s office, you know. Other than Esther, not many ladies come into this room.”

“I guess she doesn’t care about that.”

Stephan laughed. “I don’t know. She acts like she doesn’t.”

Caroline looked at her folded hands. “You should see Jerry’s shop. I laugh at all that. I guess his sons will one day … .” She sniffed. “Cotton seed. That’s what it is.”

“Ma’am?”

“Your store has a smell. I smell it every time I come in. I just now figured out what it is. It smells just like Jerry smells after he’s been planting cotton in the spring.”

Stephan sat up straight in his chair and looked around, sniffing. “Could be. I guess I’m used to it. There’s always cotton seed around here. Lots in the spring. Not much later.”

“And, cotton seed is part of why I’m here.”

“Cotton seed. It is that time of the year. Yes?”

“My husband should have come in to talk to you about this. I told him to.” She crossed her knees and smoothed her dress over them. For a moment, she was quiet, gathering courage. “Jerry always gets his fertilizer and seed from you; and you carry him ‘till crops are in. I’d like you to do the same thing with me.”

“Jerry always has credit here, Mrs. Phillips. Any groceries you want, you just tell Charlie to put them on Jerry’s account.”

Caroline leaned forward and put her hands on the desk. “Thank you, Mr. McHugh. I’m sure you remember that my own family had a farm over in Mississippi. One of the banks over there takes care of renting the place. I get a monthly check that’ll cover my house bills and grocery bills. Also, Jerry fixed it so that his army check comes to me.” She sat back again. “I’ve been sending him a postal check – beer money, he says.”

She paused.

Stephan McHugh waited a moment and then asked, “What’re you thinking of doing with more credit, Caroline?”

“The farm.”

“The farm? Ah, yes. The farm. I hope somebody has not beat me to asking you. I was planning to ask about renting the place. I will be happy to pay the going price per acre.”

She shook her head. “I want to farm it myself. Jerry plowed everything under in November. He let me practice on the tractor.”

“You? On the tractor?” Stephan raised his right hand, fingers touching, beckoning her to not tease him. “You are joking. I can’t believe this.”

She shook her head, smiling. “I’m not, Mr. McHugh. I can do it. I know I can.”

Stephan leaned back in his chair and looked at Caroline. “Well, I do like spunk in a woman, and always figured you to have some spunk. But, you know … .” He paused. “I don’t expect you to be wanting to drive a tractor all day, out in the hot sun, planting, and all that. Taking care of a tractor all by itself is a big job.”

“I’ve got my mind set on trying. All last summer, he showed me. I can change the oil and filters, all those things.” She smiled. “Start the thing, too. And, I know how to make rows. The tenants have mules to help with planting. They’ll help with chopping and picking.”

“Who is your tenant?”

“Mary Bender. You know her. She shops here.”

Stephan nodded. Then, he propped his elbows on his desk and massaged his hands while looking across the table. “Well, I am certainly not going to argue with a headstrong woman. I hear that up North, women are taking all kind of jobs as their husbands go off to war. But, you always look … well, so dressed up and lady-like, I just didn’t think … .” His voice trailed off.

Caroline waited a moment. “Jerry wrote down how much fertilizer I need. And, he drew a map about what to plant where. It’ll be good for Sonny and Roger to see their mama working hard.”

“Yes. The boys. I was wondering. How old are your boys now?”

“Well, Sonny is ten. Roger is six. Both are too young to be plowing rows, driving a tractor. Jerry did let Sonny drive out in a pasture. Of course, Both of them will be in school for a while longer this spring. But I’ll let them help me as much as they can, and show both of them what I’m doing, so they’ll know.”

McHugh looked at her for a moment. Then, he nodded and smiled. “You let me know if this turns out to be too much. Yes? Come by and just say the word. I will take over from wherever you are.” He massaged his hands again. “Why don’t you make me a list of what you need? You want me to have Charlie deliver the fertilizer and seed out to your place?”

“Thank you, Mr. McHugh. You don’t need to deliver. I’ll come back tomorrow with a list. Maybe somebody can throw the fertilizer and seed onto the back of the truck. You may remember that the old Orr house is on our place. It’s about a mile and a half back across Sim’s Creek. That’s where I’m going to store everything. In the old Orr house.”

“Sounds like you’ve got all this set in your head.”

Caroline stood up. “I look forward to trying. And, I thank you for helping me … and Jerry … for helping us to take care of the farm. If it turns out to be too hard, you’ll be the first one I’ll come to.” She stepped to the office door and paused, looking back at the smiling store owner. “Tell Mrs. McHugh hello for me.”

Stephan did not follow her out of his office. Caroline figured he’d tell Esther tonight what her Aunt Lillian’s ward was doing.

It was Charlie who walked out to the truck with her. He reached for the door handle of the old Dodge. Caroline frowned as he looked back to her, still holding onto the door. “Come on, Charlie.” Her voice was almost a whisper. “Cut it out! Somebody’s going to see you acting up out here.” She looked back toward the store.

Charlie mocked a bow as he opened the door. “At your service, Mrs. Phillips.” Caroline reached for the steering wheel and slid into the driver’s seat. She could smell the scent of stale tobacco smoke on his breath when he leaned toward her. “You know, don’t you?” he whispered. “I don’t work here in the evenings.”

Caroline looked at Charlie. Her teeth were on edge. She reached under his arm for the door handle. She had to yank twice before he moved. Charlie put his hand on the truck’s roof and drummed his fingers while she fumbled with the keys. The motor sputtered when she pushed on the ignition pedal. Finally, the engine coughed and started. Charlie didn’t move. She knew he was watching her struggle with the gear lever.

Caroline took a deep breath before she turned to Charlie. “I’m sure your mama will be needing you to help her around the house. You do that. You hear?” She slid her foot off the clutch. The truck lurched. She could see him in the mirror, standing at the curb, hands on his hips, nodding as she drove away. He knew what he had done.

Early the next morning, Caroline bought a dozen sacks of fertilizer and two sacks of seed corn. She drove home before going out to the farm. It was her secret. Her’s and Jerry’s. She was sure her friends would not approve if they could see how she was going to dress. But, she didn’t figure on being seen in town wearing her bib overalls. Jerry had bought them for her before he left, insisting that she wear them as he had her practice driving the tractor. She had accused him of being lecherous as he watched her put on the overalls the first time.

“I am lecherous,” he had replied with a grin all over his face. And then he got serious. “I’m more concerned about you trying to climb up on that tractor, swishing around in a skirt. I don’t want to get a message when I’m half-way ‘round the world saying that the damn tractor chewed you up.” He had taken her in his arms and turned her face to his. “Listen to me. We’ll sell the place or rent it to somebody unless you promise me.”

“I promise,” she had replied.

“Promise what?”

“I’ll dress like a man when I’m driving the tractor.”

He had laughed and said it was time for the lecherous part.

She had on the overalls when she took the seed and fertilizer out to the farm. Caroline stopped the truck near the porch of the old Orr house and, for a moment, just looked at the place. It had probably never been painted. The up-and-down boards on the house were grayed with age. The windows had never had glass or even screens as far as she knew. Each window had two wooden panels that could be closed to keep the heat in or the flies out. She had only been inside once or twice, and had never had more than casual interest in the three room homestead. Now, she was curious. It went through her head that she ought to ask around and see if anyone knew when it was that the house had last been occupied. It was a good distance out of Orrville, behind the cemetery, across the fields, and beyond the woods. Most people probably didn’t even know it was there. Those who did had probably forgotten about it, or didn’t care. The land grant deed given to the Orr family was in Phillips’s family papers somewhere. She’d search for those papers when Jerry was home again. Right now, her main job was holding the farm together.

A wide front porch protected the front of the house from the weather. The front door probably had a latch when the house was first built. The knob that was on the door now was an antique. She didn’t remember ever having seen that door closed, but it was today. Someone must have been rummaging around in the house. It could have been Mary Bender’s children. She opened the truck door and swung her legs out. If Jerry had been there, he would have seen about somebody going in the house. It was her job now.

She stomped her feet as she stepped onto the porch. The door scraped across the floor as she pushed it open. It was dark, cool, and damp in the house. She closed her mouth and breathed in through her nose.

Then she sniffed. Somebody had been eating in the house.