Well today would have been handover day. I should have had a full summer of time with you, your last summer of fun before the pressures of adulthood and what next take over our consciousness. Instead, we have had no contact for almost a year solid. I miss you. I have written this more than once, only to erase it and start again. So I am going to keep it short for the sake of positivity and posterity. I love you very much. Nothing that has been done up to this point has changed how I feel about you. Nothing from here on will either. When the lies and nonsense and drama are all behind us, I will still be here and we will still have whatever time God grants us. Do your best, tell the truth, and don't be afraid of the consequences. Everything is going to be okay. I believe that to be true, I just hate that we've lost so much time.
I will start the tik toks again on Wednesday. You'll be starting school soon and maybe you can watch them there or whatever. Maybe you can watch them 10 years from now...I don't know. But I love you and I miss you, and I can't wait to see you again. I'm here if you need me...Love, Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
I know it's been some time since I've written, I have travelled in an attempt to see you or talk to you, and I have been on the fence what to write, how much to write and what to tell you in regard to where we are right now.
On the one hand, I don't want to cause you distress. Hearing from me about the negative things that have been said, or that are taking place would be an honest way to let you know where we are, but it might cause you grief for something you can't control. On the other hand, acting like everything is fine and normal would not be an honest representation of our summer, not by a long shot. I don't want you to think that I believe what is taking place is correct, or appropriate. I am not okay with circumstances as they currently are. I am doing everything I can to change them.
This would have been our last weekend of the summer. We would be telling each other that is was going to be okay, that we had many good times to remember as you went back to school. We would be sad, saying goodbye to you is always sad. We would be deciding what was staying, what was going, and which clothes you were taking and which you were leaving. We would have had 56 days of time together to be a family. Time to grow closer, time for me to help you navigate the pitfalls of being a teenager. All the things normal people get to do as a family. We didn't get that this summer. I did everything I could to make it happen. I haven't stopped trying. I'll never stop trying. I love you, no matter what. I miss you whenever you are not around. I am counting the days until I can see/talk to you again.
I hope you made the most of this summer. I hope you've found places to smile, people to be friends with, and made some positive memories. I hope you have a great weekend. I'm here if you need me, Love, Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
Hooray for your weekend. I hope you have fun plans or projects that you are about to undertake and knock out. Fertilizer was spread this week for the fields outside so it smells like the poop outside this afternoon. You would have definitely chose treadmill as opposed to outside running for your ROTC stuff. I made the rounds with papaw and now I'm home for the evening.
We're going to Uncle Jon's tomorrow to help him work on his house, so just another day for me. This summer has been blah all summer long. You guys are summer to me. Without you here it just seems weird and not like a real summer. I miss you very much.
Well nothing interesting has happened to me, and I don't have any exciting stories...I just wanted you to know that I'm still here. I still think about you every moment I'm not actively working. I love you and I always will. I miss you and I can't wait to see you again. I am always here if you need me, Love. Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
Well another couple of days have passed. You are in the middle of another week of summer vacation. For me it was a semi-normal day. I had originally planned on staying home but I got called into work around 11 o'clock. With you all not here, no big deal I just go in and work. I am hoping we get some days together soon, so the more I work now, the more time I will be able to take off when you are here so we can catch up. The people I work with are all very understanding of my situation, and they have told me they will pitch in and take care of the load while I am gone so we can spend as much time as we have left when we get it.
The corn is getting tall, it hasn't tasseled yet, we always used that as an indicator that our summer time was drawing to a close. The back to school sales are in full swing here, you guys have your senior year ahead of you. How exciting and scary all at the same time. No matter what happens over the next few days, I hope you can focus on your senior year and the firsts and lasts you will go through during it.
I don't know the plan girls, I don't understand why much of this has happened, and I don't like how you've been treated for majority of your lives...but I do still believe there is a plan. I believe all of this had to happen for you to see things as they really are. There is no middle ground on some things, they either happened or they didn't...one person is lying and the other is telling the truth. In situations like that it is important to not make excuses for the person pushing the lie. You can forgive them, feel bad for them, but you can't reward their behavior. There are a lot of life lessons hanging low on the branches from this past year of time. I hope that you take those lessons and apply them to people you meet along the way and learn to guard your heart. See selfish for what it is, and don't let selfish people hurt you. And don't grow up to be a selfish person.
I hope things get better for you soon. I couldn't imagine being in your position, being under the pressure you are...you have one shot here, to tell the truth and start the change once and for all in your life. I hope you have the strength to do it when you get the chance. I love you no matter what. Your life isn't about me, or anyone else...it is about you. You becoming the person you want to be. I will be there to support you along the way, but the journey is yours to take. Deciding your character goes a long way to choosing your path. You have tremendous potential and I believe in you 100 percent. I love you, I miss you so much. I can't wait to see you again. I'm here if you need me, Love. Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
Well today was blah. I went to work, came home, cleaned up and here I am. There were no amazing events today to share with you. All in all I lead a pretty boring existence...which isn't a bad thing. I'll take boring over drama any day. Just wish I had an interesting thing to share. I loved talking to you because all the things you shared were interesting to me. You are midway through your junior summer. When I was your age I spent my junior summer at Centre College in Danville, I was chosen as one of the state's governor's scholars...which meant I got to spend some time with people a whole lot smarter than me on a university campus for a few weeks. I was scared to death, I hadn't spent the night away from home more than a dozen times my whole life up till then.
Mamaw and papaw didn't really have the money to send me, but they found a way. I didn't realize how much they sacrificed for me and brother until I was much older, but they were always putting us first. I didn't even know we were poor until a very mean girl pointed it out to me in high school. It was a great summer though. I met really smart people, who minds could think and race and accomplish things I had never pushed mine to. I had been content to be the small town smartie, these folks were touring Yale and Harvard to decide which college they wanted to attend. It was a humbling experience, but a fun one at the same time. I met a guy in my dorm named Gordon, he made a perfect score on his ACT...perfect. But he couldn't play sports to save his life. It's funny, no matter what talent the Good Lord gives us, we always long for what others can do.
I hope you have some opportunities this summer to get out, to meet new people and make new friends. Whether that be at camp, or a summer job, or wherever, the fear and nervousness that comes from such events is balanced by the fun and things you learn about yourself as you put yourself out there for others. I really wish things were different for you. I know we all have to play the hands we are dealt, but this past year has to have been very difficult for you, there was no reason for it to be the this way, well no good reason. Better days ahead my dear. Just dig in and get through and you will have more choices soon enough. I wish there was a quicker solution to the problem, but I'm afraid there isn't one. We may know something soon, hopefully it will make things better. Tell the truth, make good choices and remember I love you. I miss you and I can't wait to see you again. I'm here if you need me....Love, Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
Thunderstorms passing through tonight. You would have loved it, the weather radio went off and then we lost power for like 4 hours in the evening. In fact, the entire county and part of the surrounding counties went dark for that time, major substation was hit I believe in the transmission pathway. Lanterns on, no big deal. But I know you like the weather radio and storms...I do too.
Summer is weird. I go to work, and work all day, just like a normal school day. I don't get up early, I don't rush home, I don't take days off so we can spend time...this is the most non summer summer I've had in over 10 years. I don't like it at all. And then I realized, this was the last "normal" summer we'd ever have. Next summer, you'll be looking at what to do next. It may be college, it may be tech school, it may be something else...but it won't be the same. Things probably won't ever be the same. Time passes, everyone gets older. I look back at our happy times, and you have basically been a different person every summer when you get here. The little girl from the year before has grown up a bit. I don't think it would be as abrupt if we lived together all the time, the growth wouldn't be notice because it was happening all the time. Take 10 months between visits, and it is easily noticed. We have reacquainted ourselves every year of your life so far. So in some ways, our next time together will be like all the others.
What I love about us, is that no matter how things have changed our basic things remain the same. We love each other, we accept each other, and we play the hands we're dealt. We have been at the mercy of court schedules, school calendars, multiple outside forces and manipulations and we have tried our best to make the most of the time we've had. I love that about us...and I hope it never changes. I look forward to meeting the latest version of you. I want to see where you are in your journey. I hope to be able to help you some along the way. I can't wait to hear how you have fared through all of this, it usually takes you a week or two to really open up and tell me what is really going on. I hope we have at least that much time. I love to listen to you talk about your day, your life. I hope your weekend is a good one. I always have the skype on, my phone with me, just in case today is the day you reach out. I understand if you've been told you can't. Take care of each other. Be honest in what you say, and remember I'm still here. I haven't changed. The hair is still growing because the last thing you told me was to keep it. I love you, I miss you, I can't wait to see you again. I"m here if you need me. Love, Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
So tonight I was thinking about the scavenger hunts...remember when we did those? I would have to come up with elaborate rhyming clues that led you all over the house when it was too hot to go outside, but when it wasn't bad outside you were going all over the farm digging for treasure. I made some of those riddles pretty complicated and you usually figured them out...with enough clues. You girls were having to figure out state capitals and rhyming words and all sorts of puzzles. I even incorporated some simple cyphers in there as you got older. You didn't know it then, but I was trying really hard to help you become problem solvers...the world has lots of problems, those are easy to point out, but very few problem solvers. If you can be a problem solver, you'll always have a job, you'll always have options. If one door closes, you won't get discouraged, you'll find another door.
That was the same summer that we did face painting...a whole lot of face painting. I got pretty good at that for a while. Butterfly wings are very hard to draw on a face and it be symmetrical. You were very good sports though, you were happy with everything I did, never pouted or threw fits if the unicorn didn't look exactly right, and it never looked exactly right. We also dabbled in the custom nail designs, remember? I had that little device that basically screen printed those designs on your nails in the colors of your choice? You all took that with you at the end of the summer you liked it so much. Those looked pretty cool when we did them right...on spa day remember? Saturday spa day. I washed your hair with the fancy shampoo, we did your makeup (as best I could) and you wore your fancy dresses and sang along with the Celtic Women that evening for mamaw and papaw. Remember we took all the cushions out of mamaw's sofa so you could have a stage up at the farm and perform. At our house you just had a stage built in, the brick work in front of the mantle was your stage and I had real microphones wired up through a mixing board and amplifier so you could sing along with any song you wanted. Those shows were the best I've seen, I miss those shows.
OK, so I probably mixed about 3 summers' worth of memories in today's entry. As I age, the good memories all seem to blur into one beautiful day. Our time together has always been so short, never enough time to feel normal, I guess it's easier for my brain to blend it together. We have had a lot of fun with the time we have had. Thinking about the fun has made the sadness of missing you better, at least while I'm typing. I thought about trying to do a tik tok with the photos I have of all that stuff...but I would have been bawling like a mom at preschool graduation. I know, I used to make those slideshows and watch the carnage as "I hope you dance" played and all their little ones pictures went on screen...heck I even cried watching them thinking about you. So no tik tok for memories...couldn't get through the narration.
I really hope you have had a good summer this year. I mean that. I don't want you feeling guilty for enjoying yourself during this time, you are only going to be 16 for a year, only going to be young for a short amount of time, I want you to look back on your time fondly. Many adults agree that the time of life you are in now was their most carefree and enjoyable...responsibilities and such tend to weigh us down a bit after high school is over. So use this time to the fullest you are allowed. Choose to be happy, try to stay upbeat and don't worry about things you cannot change. Everything is going to work out as it is supposed to, we just don't have a calendar with the dates as to when that will occur. We are all staying healthy here, biding our time and trying to be patient and let things happen as they need to so that we can see you again. We love you very much.
Try to pray, try to study, try to make good choices. It's okay to not be perfect, it's okay to now know what to do sometimes. We all feel that way, no matter what our age is. Now is the time to start figuring out who you are, like for real, what type of person do you want to be as a grown up? That takes time, but it is very important. You can start by asking yourself, "How do I feel about....". Insert the topic or thing at the end. Don't think about what others have told you, don't think about what your parents believe...consider what you think about it. If you don't know how you feel about something, then it is time to look up information about it. Just keep in mind that where you get your information from needs to be a good source, lots of weird propaganda out there disguised as facts. Just because its on the internet, or the news at this point, doesn't mean it is true, or is showing you both sides of an issue. It is perfectly okay to change your mind as you go and learn new information. I can give you an excellent example from my own experience. The death penalty. When I was young, it seemed pretty black and white, you kill someone you deserve to die. Evil people earn evil consequences. I still believe if you do something then you can't be upset with the consequences when they occur, BUT...family court has taught me there are many flaws in the court system. There are people who will lie, falsify evidence, change their story and generally try to make innocent people look like they are not innocent. I am positive there are people who have been convicted of crimes they didn't commit because of people who have been dishonest in court. The death penalty kind of makes it hard to let them out when you find out years later someone lied or the evidence wasn't what we thought it was. So I have since changed my stance. God gives us life, and He wants everyone saved before they die. I figure folks who have committed the worst crimes, probably need as much time as possible to convert. Hey, if they choose not to, that's on them, but if we kill them before they have a chance to...well that's kind of on us. I'd rather guilty people sit in jail and not be killed by the death penalty...than innocent people who don't deserve to be there killed by it. I didn't used to think that way. My opinion has been changed based on things that have happened during family court, news stories I have read. Becoming more informed along with experiences that touch you personally will change your mind about things, that is normal and a good thing. So don't feel bad if you think something one day, and then have to re think it later. That is part of being human, and good humans do that often. They also strive to be self aware. Self-awareness is a major indicator of success and happiness in humans. I want both of those things for you. I love you, I miss you, I can't wait to see you again. I am always here if you need me, Love, Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
So this is the first time in 12 years or so that we won't be sitting together watching fireworks in the hot Kentucky summer. Of course I miss you every day, but things like this that we always did together just seem so different without you here. I am not going to watch them tonight. I have no reason to. I hope you do get out, get to see some good ones, and maybe remember our time for a moment. The Festival is in town as usual. They are having it at a different location this year, at the old county fairgrounds down by the river, you can see it as you cross the bridge going home.
The Dragon Wagon is there. You can see it as you pass over. I will always remember that night...when my girls took over the county fair. You were so excited and brave and determined. I hope the world doesn't rob you of those 3 things. I know these past few Vacation entries I haven't done much teaching...as your father it's my job to try to use any opportunity I can to help you navigate this world and all the challenges in it. Bible study is an important part of that and so is just talking about experiences and things you will run into.
Tonight we'll just hit on bravery. We've talked about it before, but my memories of the dragon wagon, the strawberry spinner and the other rides you all conquered that night and following festivals just reminded me of how much you have changed over the years. In some ways you have traded places in terms of daring...in other ways you haven't. Bravery is never something that is just going to happen. And it isn't the absence of fear, we have talked about this more than once. Bravery is choosing action despite your fear.
Bravery takes a bit of faith, a belief that no matter what happens you are going to be okay, and that if you are doing the right thing a positive outcome will come from it. It also takes some common sense, sometimes fear is there to keep us from doing something that will hurt us. Sometimes fear is there because we've never done something before. Like when you learned to put your head under water to prepare to learn to swim. That could be dangerous if you did it wrong or without proper supervision, but when done correctly it is an important step to learn to do something that you need to know how to do. You had to get past that fear, to be able to get past the next one.
We all have things we are afraid of, and things we are afraid will happen. I am much older than you, and although my fears have changed over the years, I still have fears...probably always will. I don't ever want papaw and mamaw to die, but I know at some point they will. As they get older, it is normal to have fears about that. Bravery can't erase some fears, because in some circumstances, no matter how brave you are, you still can't change the bad outcome. In situations like that, bravery becomes choosing to not let unavoidable tragedies ruin the time you have with people. We can't live our lives worried about things we cannot change...well you can definitely live that way, but that choice severely limits your happiness and makes your life less than it can be.
I want you to have a good life. After all, we only get one go on the dragon wagon here on Earth. Don't spend it worrying and fretting. Be brave. Have faith that things will ultimately be okay. Don't dwell on things you cannot change, but choose to make the most of the cards you are dealt on any given day. We have lost so much time together, but it is not wasted time if you have spent it well.
You will still have sadness, you will still experience fear, you will have so many things not go your way...but don't give up. Make up your mind that you will be happy despite all of these things. Find some good in every day, even the bad ones. Don't be a drama queen, when life isn't all that bad, don't tell yourself that it is. Enjoy the sunshine and endure the rain. And through it all, remember that God loves you, and I love you so very much. I miss you like crazy, and I cannot wait until the day comes when I can see you again. I am always here if you need me, Love, Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
Had a pleasant memory today, I know I haven't written in a while, but summers without you are difficult for me. Writing this, and trying to stay positive and upbeat has become more than I can accomplish some days. It is so hot outside today, and as I left mamaws I looked at the asphalt and remembered...chalk drawings and the big pile of sand papaw got for you to play in...and how it was so hot that we let you stay up late and we rigged lights in the trees so you could play in the sand late at night. There we were, 11 o'clock at night with fans rigged up with bubble blowers, bubbles all in the air and you two knee deep in a ton of sand. Luthor the wonder dog would lay on the opposite side of what you were diggin on and we all had lawn chairs gathered around the sand pile so we could watch you and spend time. I was right in there with you, building sand castles and making mermaid bottoms for when we buried you in it up to your belly button. That memory made me happy and sad at the same time. I remember you having a lot of fun, and we did too, just being with you. Whenever days are so so hot, I get to see a happy memory. Everyone should be so lucky. I love you. I miss you. I can't wait to see you again. I'm here if you need me, Love, Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
We are still putting mamaw and papaw's house back together after the great carpet laying of 2022. 33 years of stuff all drug out and placed in the yard and then moved back in...Mamaw is trying to sift through the various items and get rid of some things that we haven't used in a decade or so. It is a slow process, but a good one. Much of this stuff probably needs to go. VHS tapes of movies we bought at flea markets for example. Those can probably be tossed.
So Father's Day has come and gone. We tried to make papaw's a good one. Your uncle and his crew all came down and we cooked out, played in the creek and just spent the day doing whatever he wanted to do. It was a good day for him. Everyone agreed though it wasn't the same without you here. Me most of all. Another holiday stolen. So far, you have been unable to speak with me on my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and now Father's Day has been taken from us as well. Not to mention your grandparents' birthdays in September and February, Valentines Day and all the other moments that we get to share being alive together. Time we will never be able to recover.
Your grandparents are 70, I'm nearly 50...God makes no promises about how much longer any of us have left...this is all so unnecessary. I hate that this has happened, but I am glad you shared with her last year what you wanted to do. I know it may seem like that was the wrong decision, given what you have had to go through and what I have had to endure, being honest about how you feel sometimes has consequences, but it is always worth it. I was very proud of you that day when you both discussed it and decided what you wanted to do and how you wanted to go about it. I cautioned you, reminded you of how things have went in the past, and you both decided to it was what you wanted to do. You presented your points well, you were articulate and kept your emotions under control, even when you were told things that hurt your feelings.
I could not do what you have done when I was your age. I can't imagine dealing with divorce, family court in 3 states, and the litany of therapists and alienation you have had to absorb and work through on your own often times, all because adults can't put you first. So I might have spent my Father's Day without talking to you, but that didn't stop me from thinking about how blessed I am to have you as daughters. We don't deserve you. None of this is your fault, and many decisions have been made along the way without your best interests at heart. Through it all you have made the most of it, laughed where you landed and tried to have as normal a life as you were allowed to have. You are incredibly strong for your ages, and despite the selfishness you have seen by those who say they care, you have made positive choices to become loving, selfless individuals. So many people become what they have seen...I hope you use what you have seen to become something far better. So on this Father's Day I am reminded of how wonderful my daughters are...how much they have been through, and how much they have tried to find happiness amongst the strife. The sadness I feel for what we are experiencing now is balanced with the knowledge that things will not always be this way.
My favorite analogy for love is that it is a single drop of water. Sitting in one's hand, the drop can move based on outside forces, balance, exertion, inertia...but if one is scared to lose the water and attempts to squeeze it too tightly, the water escapes through the gaps in the fingers and is gone. You can't control love, you can control people for a little while, if you have leverage over them or manipulate the system, but you can't control love. You have felt the outside forces, you have felt the squeeze. In time, you will be free. My hope is that you will take the lessons you have learned along the way, and choose to be the best person you can be. You still have the potential for a wonderful life filled with happiness. Take care of yourselves and each other. Love one another selflessly. Don't be sorry for sharing your true feelings, nearly a year ago. That was the beginning of the change you wanted. It has taken time, and we have paid the price, but you are worth all of that and more. I am very proud of you, the young lady you have become. I look forward to watching you grow for as long as I'm allowed to be here. I love you no matter what. I am a very blessed father to have you as my child. I love you. I miss you , I can't wait to see you again. I'm here if you need me, always....Love, Dad.
Hiya girlies. I hope you are enjoying your summer so far. I am trying to make the most of the hand I've been dealt. I've spent the last few days with the tinies and the Burkenator is here tonight and leaving in the morning. One guess how many times papaw uttered the famous phrase, "Burk, you are your own, worst enemy..." Actually he's only said it once today...so far :) Bet that is not the number you were thinking. He is waiting on an Aberdeen Pizza right now while I'm down at the Double Rainbow hoping you might get to skype.
Mamaw got new carpet installed yesterday and today. The old carpet was over 30 years old. She vacuumed every day, it looked good for its age, but she was ready for a change. Papaw got it for her and we had to move all the stuff outside so it could be laid. It is a shade of grey, but with some of their soft lights it looks almost tan. You'll have to see it next time you're here. It's soft and will make board games in the floor more comfortable.
I love you, summer isn't the same without you being here. Not at all. I miss you so so much. I can't wait to see you again. I'm here, always, if you need me. Love, Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
I don't know what I'm doing here at this point. My life isn't exciting. So to put a paragraph in here every day that is about what I do...it is all just going to sound the same. I don't want to bore you, but at the same time, I don't want you to think that my lack of updates means I don't care anymore. I love you, more than anything else, and I spend a great deal of time each day working towards getting you here or thinking about you and what you must be going through.
I can't imagine your situation or the pressure you are under. It isn't right, and you don't deserve it. The only thing that is going to change anything is the truth. You have to make good choices for yourself, find your voice and tell the truth when you talk to doctors and tell how you really feel when you are asked by therapists. At the end of all this, everyone is going to have to answer for their part in this nonsense. Just be honest, and everything will eventually be okay. We knew this day might come around again, we have talked about it since the last time you were coerced into saying things to a judge that weren't true. You knew there might come a day where you would be pressured to do it again and you know what the right thing to do is. You aren't 4 anymore, you are able to see things more clearly. None of what is going on is your fault. You have been caught up in an unnecessary situation, that has been purposely complicated and falsified to bring about a desired outcome. You can't help what other people do, we've talked about that many times...all you can control is what you do, how you react, what choices you make. We all have the same rules in regard to that. So get through this in such a way that you have the least amount of regret. Your only real chance for things to change is to be honest and trust in God with all your heart.
When I pray, I pray for you. For your health, your safety, and your emotional well being. There are many people here in fact that pray for you. People you've never met, who know your story and feel for you and your situation. You are not alone, you are never alone, even when it feels like you are. My favorite verse in the whole Bible (is not in Proverbs believe it or not) it is found in 2 Kings 6.
Ancient Aram (now Syria) was at war with Israel, and the king of Aram was disturbed that the prophet Elisha was able to predict where Aram’s army was planning to go, warning Israel’s king so that he could devise Israel's army’s strategy. Aram’s king decided to send a large group of soldiers to the city of Dothan to capture Elisha so that he wouldn't be able to help Israel win the war.
Verses 14 to 15 describe what happens next: "Then he sent horses and chariots and a strong force there. They went by night and surrounded the city. When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. 'Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?' the servant asked.
Being surrounded by a large army with no escape terrified the servant, who at this point could see only the earthly army there to capture Elisha.
The story continues in verses 16 and 17: "'Don’t be afraid,' the prophet answered. 'Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.' And Elisha prayed, 'Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.' Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."
Bible scholars believe that angels were in charge of the horses and chariots of fire on the surrounding hills, ready to protect Elisha and his servant. Through Elisha's prayer, his servant gained the ability to see not just the physical dimension but also the spiritual dimension, including the angelic army.
I know you feel surrounded with no escape, but everything is going to be okay. You are stronger than you know, and you are not alone, ever. Fight the good fight. Do the right things. The truth will set you free. I love you, I miss you, and I can't wait to see you again. I'm here if you need me, Love, Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
Well today was my last contract day until July 1st. That means I have fulfilled my contract requirements for my job until the new contract begins in July. I will still have to go in every now and then, but if you were here that would mean that I wasn't going in unless I had to or they needed me to. I am going to go ahead and work as many days as I can while we are getting you here, that way I can have as much done as possible and I won't have to go in as often in July either.
I finished the 3 day 101 Spiritual Warfare Tactics today. It was okay, but I would have liked to have seen the list....at any rate today's lesson was about, "Staying Filled with the Spirit". Now we have talked about this before in a different way. When I take long stretches of time and do not go to church, I start to act differently. I am more likely to curse, get angry, hold grudges, lots of negative emotions are allowed to take root and grow when I'm out of church. Church recharges my batteries in a way. When we go to a great church with a good leader who provides a Bible Based message, I am reminded of God's word and where I am in relation to that word. It humbles me and often time reminds me of how to manage my negative feelings during the week. Going to church is a choice, so when you are choosing to go to church you are probably choosing to make time for God in other ways as well.
The Holy Spirit fills you when you are first saved. But if you don't cultivate this relationship with God, it's influence and voice becomes harder to feel and hear. The study says you need to be re-filled with the Holy Spirit to keep yourself in good standing. We do that by studying, reading, meditating about God and going to church or having fellowship with other Christians. Prayer for it to occur also helps. By actively asking for the Holy Spirit to guide you, you are choosing to have the voice be louder. Mine needs to yell at me sometimes to get me to pay attention, and then sometimes I still don't listen. I haven't forgotten about the Day 2 teaser about invoking Jesus's name for power, I just really wanted to talk about this today. I will bring that back around and finish up our study tomorrow with it. I love you, I miss you, I can't wait to see you again. I'm here if you need me, Love, Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
Well today I slept in a bit to make up for the 26 hours driving the past few days and then I went to work. I am going to try to get as many days in as I can, so that if we get to see each other any this summer I won't have to go in as much during that time. That's the plan anyways.
I thought about just doing these entries like once a week. But then I thought that if you were to be following along or trying to do the Bible Studies with me that would be too long of a gap between studies for it to be meaningful to you. My main job for you as a father is to try to help you navigate the world and foster your relationship with God, so I am going to do these daily. I'll try not to make them very long, but I will always try lead you in a study or devotional. I'm not sure if I can do a tik tok every day or not...or if you'd even want one. We'll see how that goes.
I started a 3 day bible study called, "101 Tactics for Spiritual Warfare" by Jennifer LeClaire. So to begin with I will just tell you, there is no way she is fitting 101 tactics into a 3 day plan...I am thinking maybe the plan is based on a book she has written or something. Day 1 had a single verse and a 4 paragraph devotional...yeah there ain't 101 tactics in this. At any rate, what is included is interesting and has some good thinking points.
So the first day was an introduction to what spiritual warfare was. The author said that one day she made a strong revelation that the unseen realm was raging with spiritual enemies that intended to kill, steal and destroy her live.
If you ignore the devil, the warfare doesn't stop. Focusing on Jesus or praying 24/7 doesn't make you immune from warfare. That doesn't mean that you should lose all hope, it just means that you can't expect life to be rosey all the time just because you are a Christian and you talk to God regularly. Tomorrow we'll talk about how Jesus plundered the kingdom of darkness and why they no longer have authority over you if you do this one thing...how's that for a tease for tomorrow's show? Like and subscribe...nah, I'm just kidding.
I love you, I miss you, I can't wait to see you again. I'm here if you need me, Love, Dad.
jfelty351@gmail.com 270-999-2691
So this was the drive home day. We got an early start, and had relatively good weather. It was a sad day without you. I normally would get to hear stories from you the first hour or so straight. We would talk about all sorts of things and everyone is just happy to be together. The miles click off much faster when you are in the back excited to be going home.
We made it home in under 13 hours. It was still daylight. Biscuit met us at the car, almost like she expected you to be there...I wonder how much dogs understand that sort of thing...she is a very smart dog. At any rate, going home was not near as fun as when you all hit the door and start unpacking your stuff in your room and just relaxing after a long drive.
I love you, I miss you, summer at home should have started today. I can't wait to see you again. Love, Dad.
So this was supposed to be the day I got to see you. I got up early, well okay let's be honest, I didn't sleep much the previous night. At any rate I waited around all day for a change of heart. It was not to be. I tried not to waste the time, I took mamaw shopping and we ate lunch out at a restaurant. We passed the time as best we could. We ended up watching a NCIS marathon back at the hotel for most of the evening and night until I finally fell asleep.
This is the first summer since you were 2 that I didn't get to see you or have visitation with you. She withheld you 15 months for no good reason last time, we were worried you wouldn't even remember us when you saw us again finally. But you ran right to me and hugged me when the courts finally made it happen. I believe in my heart that when this is resolved and you get to see me again...it will be the same.
I love you, I miss you, summer should have started today. I can't wait to see you again. Love, Dad.