Functioning Within Disfunction

What are Functional and Disfunctional Environments?

Functional
This seems logical, but it's an environment that supports growth, freedom and encouragement to be yourself, emotional and professional safety, and most often people consider it to be a positive environment (source).

Dysfunctional
An environment where a person does not feel supported or even acknowledged, where they feel they cannot be themselves and must hide their true selves and/or feelings, the forces workers to compromise on personal values. There may be no professional boundaries or respect, no respect for the time and efforts workers commit, and a place that primarily has people thinking negative thoughts, or even despairing that they must be in the environment (source).

Conscious of Others

People's efforts are acknowledged and credited.

Unconscious of Others

No one is "called" on poor behaviors, and some may actually be rewarded for toxic behaviors.
People may take credit for others' work without consequence.

Beig Productive in Difficult Environments/Experiences

I am going to take notes to make sure I am
I accurately remembering what you're saying.

Examine yourself, why you may be reacting to a person or situation with a negative feeling.
- Are people reminding us of previous experiences with completely different people, in completely different times in our lives?
- Are we reading non-existent things into situations based on our own background experiences?
Don't let things get personal.
- Work and speak from an empathetic point of view.
- Validate the person's point of view, their "voice."
- Stay on track with the topic. Return to the topic.
- "Don't burn the bridge."
Keep it professional.
- Whatever the other person is doing, that's on them, not on you.
- "Take the high road" and don't stoop to unprofessional behaviors, including gossip, bad-mouthing people, posting on social media, etc.
- Focus on what is being said, not how it's said.
Determine if you think you can talk with the person about the situation.
- If so, plan ahead and take steps. It could very well be that the person is not aware of how their behaviors are affecting you.
Determine who you can talk with in an administrative position about the situation.
- Sometimes talking to "the boss" is the only way you can alleviate a professional work issue. Make a plan and be objective, trying to leave out emotions that are not necessary.
If things just can't or won't get better... find a new work place.
- If work place issues are not resolvable, and it's possible, look for a new position, either within the organization, or elsewhere.

SOURCE

SOURCE 2

Reflect on your Own History
- Sometimes we are "set off" because people remind us of others with whom we have negative associations.
- Try not to equate a co-worker with the person from your past.
Make Your Needs Known.
- Look, when you cut me off in meetings or discussions, I feel like my contributions aren't valued or won't be considered.
Check your Expectations
- Have realistic expectations of colleagues. We can't expect them to work in the same ways we work, or think in the same ways we think.
Recognize Your Triggers
- Certain types of people "set us off." It could be someone who cuts you off, who jokes at others' expense, who misses meetings or deadlines, etc.
- Once you recognize your "buttons" be prepared so you can maintain your professionalism and composure.
Ditch Your Assumptions
- Don't assume you know other's views, values, motives based on single interactions.
- Find out if something that was talked about is actually important.
Realize You're Not Going to Like Everyone
- Probably the hardest thing for people is realize
  zing you're just not going to like everyone in the workplace.
- You may have to work closely with people who have vastly different professional and/or personal values.
- Focus on the work, not the person/people.

SOURCE

Yes, I think I understand. But let me make sure I do. Can I read my notes back to you so you can clarify anything I might have misunderstood or written incorrectly?

Sometimes we have to work with, or at the very least, co-exist with toxic people.

Remember: it's not our place, job, or responsibility to try to understand why people act the way they act, we just have find a way to be professional and productive.

Chivonna Childs (source) points out that we often spend more of our time with people at work (8-12 hours a day sometimes) and when those work relationships are difficult, it can negatively affect the rest of our lives. Here are some of her suggestions.

Create physical distance.
- If you can avoid being in the same physical space as the person, do it.
- If not, perhaps rearranging the work environment so that the person is not in your line-of-sight is needed.
Avoid, if you can.
- If you're in a situation that is toxic, cynical, negative, etc., "walk away." Remove yourself from the situation.
Set your conversational boundaries.
- Sometimes people don't realize they are crossing personal-to-professional boundaries. Set those boundaries.
- "I'm sorry, I don't really want to talk about that here at work."
Take care of yourself.
- Leave work at work (easier said than done).
- Practice mindfulness, meditation. Go exercise, talk to your partner/spouse (or your pet!). Seek counseling to let go of your work issues there.
Stay true to yourself and your values.
- Remember work is for work. What is your purpose there? Do the job.

If you have to involve a supervisor/boss...

Document everything. Keep a professional journal.
Ask a trusted colleague for guidance. Make sure you're not reading something into a situation that's not actually there.
Make sure you follow the chain of command for your organization. Who is the person you need to talk with first?
Remember it's about an incident or behavior, and think of things in that way, rather than "attacking" the person.

Ultimately... you may need to consider a new job or a new place in your organization that removes the toxic person from your work situation.

Melody Wielding (source) gives us three big steps to help with dysfunctional team work.

Figure out what you're dealing with.
- Look for behavioral patterns. Pinpoint the issue.
Figure out what you can change.
- First - don't let little annoyances build up. Don't make assumptions. Work from known "truths."
- Professionally provide some solutions to the issue or make an appointment to discuss the issues and come prepared to be objective with solutions.
Figure out what you can learn from the situation.
- Work from a growth mindset. Okay, this experience in this situation could be different. So... next time... we'll know better.

Types of Conflict and Being Productive

Adam Grant, Think Again, Chapters 4-6

Relationship Conflict

Personal, emotional clashes/issues

Task Conflict

Ideas and Opinions clashes/issues

How Group Work is Affected by Different Conflict Types

The more relationship conflict that exists, the less task conflict can be discussed = lower efficiency and effectiveness
The less relationship conflict that exists, the more task conflict discussion can take place = higher efficiency and effectiveness.

I'm A People Pleaser

I don't "like" conflict, of any kind so this section resonated with me.
I struggle to see any conflict (relationship or task) as useful because of my background and my emotional connection to life "in general."
- I either shut off (aka "be silent") or remove myself from the situation and the possibility of repeating the situation.
I may be waiting for the right type of interaction that does not feel "threatening."

I disagree, but I respect your right
to be stupid.

"Yes, we're entitled to hold opinions inside our heads. If we choose to express them out loud, though, I think it’s our responsibility to ground them in logic and facts, share our reasoning with others, and change our minds when better evidence emerges" (p. 74).

"The first rule: avoiding an argument is bad manners. Silence disrespects the value of your views and our ability to have a civil disagreement" (p. 87).

Sometimes professional survival over rules task conflict "willingness." And, if task conflict is not handled in truly professional ways, it can lead to relationship conflict.

Bad Blood - Helping People See Others Differently

"In a meta-analysis of over five hundred studies with over 250,000 participants, interacting with members of another group reduced prejudice in 94 percent of the cases" (p. 139).

(p. 135-ish).

Finding Common Ground
Asking Questions About People
Asking People to Envision Their Pasts Differently
Being Willing to Change Your Own Mind
Letting People Decide on Their Own Reasons ...

...are more valuable than debating using extensive "logic bullying," facts, figures, research, or logic.

Functioning Within Disfunction

Types of Conflict and Being Productive

Adam Grant, Think Again, Chapters 4-6

REFERENCE LINKS