FOR A THOUGHT
FOR A THOUGHT
TO BE
TO BE
TRUE
TRUE
IT MUST PASS
IT MUST PASS
THROUGH
THROUGH
SEVEN LAKES
SEVEN LAKES
Collected Poems
J. Wes Unruh
Embedded Files
For a thought
To be true it must pass through seven lakes
To be true it must dissolve
To be true it must linger in the air
To be true it must matter to oneself
To be true it must drift for a day
To be true it must flatten the moment
To be true it must follow the vibrant
To be true it must be false and forgotten
it must needs already begotten
a sinister hand
on the sideline of meaning for
if a thought is meant
to be true
it must pass through seven lakes.
IN THE YEAR 2020 WE ALL STAYED HOME
IN THE YEAR 2020 WE ALL STAYED HOME
The frost blown sears
moments in reason
and I welcome them,
blown in from across these dreams
we share together
split bottle, seek warmth,
flours, prospective bargains,
old doors open inward,
blood sworn pastoral
I remain solitude and the light
the road is new, besotted,
and through it all I speak to myself,
anchors are thorns, leave waves,
shores, wife's arms,
"We are all out to sea."
broken streets, lamp bright
on moonless night, sidewalk
crawling - saw snakes that year,
rubber mat, bumper rails
these masks, shields, new towns
be years before they catch it.
DEAD MAN IN WONDERLAND
DEAD MAN IN WONDERLAND
three. You need three
eyes. Our reed spoke
and besides the new hope
should be lies
for our smoke
we disguise
YOWL
YOWL
I hit that
hard back
high chair
with a snapped
out scream.
Them adults
Them clod bopping
hard tromping
Adults come
bearing in @ me
w/ their plastic
forks loaded down
with mush fer
me to eat
& I freak.
Just a moment
before, I had been
watching a swatch
of color undulate
from the box
on the other
side of the counter
offering me
mush while
blocking my view
was enough
to make me
scream and cry
for the rest of the night.
ADVICE ON MENTION OF THE YOUNG
ADVICE ON MENTION OF THE YOUNG
Politics
like ignorance
plays havoc
w/ information
systems
Social noise is
interferring
w/ the broadcast
signals
Information
is energy
for the Human
machinery.
UNNOTICING
UNNOTICING
Proof, profound
Transformations
Quick change, shadows,
Blend the morning
then coalesce,
Dreamers sullied
by now tragic forms
nostalgic?
nor sullen
Elsewhere, is all
WEEK JOB
WEEK JOB
So I'm working this
Corporation gig-
nerve center of tele babble,
run the rabble through
their mazes, litigations,
investments, business
brochures, backhanded
slurs, and media fables
for CEO tables and
board room meetings
behind closed doors
where fearless leaders
snore off on mute,
a little cosmos of chaos
given hierarchy through structure.
They pay me to listen
in on them, taking me,
that uninvolved neutral
sworn to wage slave secrecy
not to buy out their
bonds minutes before
word hits the street,
And they trust me
because I'm poor,
they know I ain't
got the connections
or the knowhow to
burn a big deal.
Hell, they don't even
know what company
I work for half the
time.
They're Just Happy
As Hell I'm Not
A Recording!!!
People
It takes People
To feel like you
are really communicating.
The simplest truth:
All thought is conjecture.
They project upon me.
BEGOTTEN
BEGOTTEN
language Bearers,
Photographers, Diary
makers,
You with your memory
are dead, frozen
Lost in a present that
Never stops passing
Here lives the incantation
of matter
A language forever
like a flame burning away the darkness
Life is flesh on bone convulsing above the ground
If yr not attuned
to the channel
you never get
the message
Invisible everts
the material
Or
The material
belies the Invisible
You can always
Reboot.
You can always
Start over,
Back at nothing
and struggle
Upward
once more
@ & w/ *
@ & w/ *
who are you
that voice
echo mirror
I have no answer
where did you come from?
time flooded me forward
lust, most likely
never found my past
what have you done?
self destruction…
deception, desertion,
scribbled my name across a ton of paper
why do you exist?
the roll of the dice
someone played w/ fire
ask the mother i never met
when will you understand?
after the madness,
after the tragedy,
there might be a purpose
how do you cope?
madhouse psychiatric
psychoactive drugs
stare @ the aborted suicide scars
do you have dreams?
(a few, sometimes)
(they share my blood)
do you have dreams?
nightmare drenched
hope for answers
you could call them dreams
what motivates you?
motivation implies direction
direction implies movement
reason for movement is pain
what is your greatest accomplishment?
to date,
@ this juncture
i loved & was loved
what is your greatest weakness?
hours slip past
new mistakes every moment
i fear the commitment of love
if you died now, who would come to your funeral?
power in the question
this is the measure of a life
relatives, two lovers perhaps, a sprinkle of friends
what would you want on your tombstone?
marble & chrome
futhark engravings
a wolf, a ram, a *, & a ?
does this world need you?
shadows on streetlights cracked pavement
i will not know until i have attempted my changes
what would fulfill you most?
laughter instead of tears
tears replacing laughter
stand on a mountain
knowing where i came from,
& curse the society of mankind
for its treatment of those who dream of beauty (and i have, and have)
THERE IN THAT SMALL TOWN
THERE IN THAT SMALL TOWN
library was read
box of books @ a time
friends were counted on one hand
school belt strict
the cowboys & the skinheads
that's the warzone
so i heard
airport was my playground
hanger watched planes torn apart
mechanic & a Coke
sagebrush hill desert
canyon, waterfall
two until the dam(n)
house built from ground up
took twelve years to finish
then sold it
mowed lawns & stole money
support my video addiction
cigarettes as a deathwish
fifteen, present from friend,
2 packs of viceroys,
smoked four in a row,
threw up for twenty minutes…
thought i was strong
first lust was a year older
she had the aura of innocence
she was my best friend's steady
fate denied me momentum
had four dogs then
the first one to die
we put to sleep
she was 91 in dog years
second was run over
adopter backed over it w/ the white utility van
dog screamed as she took it in
it was put to sleep
105 in dog years
& the flashes of memory
remember reagan shot
challenger exploding
star trek came on @ four
never missed an episode
until it was replaced by the wild wild west
all reruns
saw spock die in the theater
e.t. flew a bicycle
& the dark crystal was beauty
empire struck back
the last movie
was the last crusade
adopter took me on a whim
strange, he hates theaters
remember uncle ray
bad back, lived w/ us
(walked from alaska one summer)
he hiked the canal w/ me
one day we found a skinless dog
on the bank of the canal
it was greenish, rotting
i was young then
uncle would smoke
take crayons & melt them
tell me they were cigarette butts
"That's what they do to your lungs"
melt them on the side of the barrel i burned trash in
he hurt his back working for my father
from then on we watched the rockford files together
sometimes he hunted rabbit w/ a slingshot
or pheasant w/ a bow
don't remember when he moved out
just that my adopters said he was living in sin
he never ignored me when i was young
if he did
i idolized him anyway
he walked from alaska
ate dandelions the whole way
that demands respect
i remember the christmas i got my computer
c-64, top of the line
even had a monitor
no printer, no modem
all my games were pirated
-Tom the Pirate-
(who ever he was
he was my hero)
zork i, ii, iii…
the bard's tale…
never completed elite
spent all my time in front of that screen
it placed me in control
nothing but keystrokes separated me from godhood
fresh from science-fiction books
i read schrödinger's cat under the covers
flashlight in one hand
that was the book my adopters found
called it trash & put the library on notice
"Watch what he checks out"
No Stephen King…
bad for my mind
read pet semetary & it
cujo & night shift
skeleton crew & the stand
all w/in a year of the ban
blue lakes mall promised arcade
gauntlet took my money for weeks
@ the Y i mastered asteroids
first high school play
had the lead role
no one knew their lines @ the last rehearsal
two hours later we performed it flawlessly
the director was stunned
broke into the school in the middle of the night
stole a rat that was to be fed to the snake
seemed a small victory for the rat
the snake went hungry
i remember the movies that made me cry
red dawn & stand by me
now i laugh instead
it is far more effective
but harder to explain
in the mountains to the north
backpacked with my adopter
he showed me the beauty of nature
scared the shit out of me on mountain roads
& let me build the fire
& somewhere in that small town
in the hospital filed away
there is the name of the woman
who brought me into this world
& gave me away that very same day
there in that small town.
NOW IS THE ONLY THING THAT'S REAL
NOW IS THE ONLY THING THAT'S REAL
We are governed by
our myths, often
in unclear ways
standing against
that invisible djinn governance
is the rational,
but dis-heart-ened
for myths, while stern
taskmasters, do
imbue us with heart…
where we set aside
prejudice and bias
and only observe
the moment, our decisions
are anchored in the senses.
WORLD SINISTER
WORLD SINISTER
Shadows pulled from the core of memory
The endless tension of purity and pain
Wisdom in madness and infested religions
A night of all the things we have feared
The world we've sold our souls for
Wishing time could spiral together
And is this a face, mask or shell
Or all the tears put into place?
Eye moves in as skin moves back
All of it is still in existence
The street red with aspect rain
We've recast our redacted shadows
Street lights bastard city blues strobe
A hole more holy than any cross
Here we die for our own sins
Full of shit twice was wrong
Trauma fed off time and stole our minds
A word a grasp a collapsing scream
As my hatred peels back flesh
It uncovers the skull beneath
World sinister, silence and silver
World is anger's rage against pity
World of beauty twisted with secrets
World of growth on the corpse of man
It comes calling, waiting with madness
Asleep in the street outside your door
Grimness groaning, mental image
Rotting away at your inner core
ENGINE OF NEON
ENGINE OF NEON
Proem>
common sense is what tells us time is linear
common sense is what tells us the earth is flat
Profanation>
the neon assembly, he sought out
the past, tore masks from graveyards
w/ the thoughts of… "what if"
a construct only, so what of it?
Professional>
stolen away behind closed doors
They meet, a handshake & a nod
before an illustrated diagram
display socioeconomic factions
threatening Their rule, They debate
trade secrets for doctrines
opiate traders vs. the discontented
keep us bound, unrevolting
the slave market booming
binge of the Neon Lords
Profile>
form lines, line up, mainline
not guilty by reason of society
inequity of equality
downtrodden on downer meth
for the jet-driven apathy
far beyond driven the market absorbs
all or nothing, the masters staring
radiating the absolutes: death, taxes,
as status quo demands market research
the slaves mark etched as desire
for criminal behavior
in the flesh of the carriers
a virus of addiction & need
sunk deep in our collective hard drives
(These invisible crime ring gatherings)
Profligacy>
this is the war zone
subliminal ideas against viral lies
conspiracy of slavers & jams
occulted history speeding onward
maybe & perhaps the revitalization of chaos
immanetizing the eschaton
mirroring you, finding itself awake
Profligate>
They have the disease of a neon godling
greedlings arise form the grunt lines
sublime translation for primetime exposure
the masters are laughing in Their stockrooms
Profusion>
may time be conquered in linear fashion by biocosmism
there is reason w/in the cage's walls
& jailminded patience is rewarded
the silence masking the controllers
master lords of neon redemption
sat together passing pipes to smash the neon
soldiers of the neon goslings
have evidence for the prosecution
(F--- the transition between aeon & epoch)
Progestational>
& this is the tool of the greatest of engines
to wear out the circuitry of this world of deception
by examining the insides of the mind of conception
the creation of decisions in the whirlwind of perfection…
aye, this is the struggle of the engine of neon
to escape the hate of former days & integrate a newer fate
STREAM
STREAM
grass lush you were starting
spring
without us
a blossom like red
A shade off, a whisper
dead on a cotton
field cross
burns
we don't need you here
you hear, those two-souled
christian types speak from both sides
of the mouth
and what it portends
fragrant hump over, between and defied
thorn deeds, rose crown
Bushwhacked
Between hairballs and vomit my cat
She begs me solace
Come, free the soul
from the slavery of G-d
over the last rise
and there, treelines, a park fence
horseshoes, clover, a broken mirror
left shared, hardened, h-r majesty
in the dawn and across h-r flesh
I race, dress down
grovel and beg
You gasp, chase hands
across h-r labia, h-r landscape
I dream this
make of me rage
crown me with this
and we speak together
after the stream carries us
away back
from the front.
DREAM DAWN WORK DAY
DREAM DAWN WORK DAY
It was dream dawn work day
Cars exploding the stillness
Dark ice fingerprinting life
Do you dream of television and altered terrain?
Ancient war demons gouging out eyes
No one to be with on a monday dawn
Lost caress vision
Stolen without dimension
Going insane alone at morning
Still stealing for food and rent
Dreaming of someone to dream with at night
Do eyes follow your footsteps as you wait?
No one is coming to save you but me
Dance? We still sing sometimes
I can melt gold for you
Spin the drained memories to rebirth
The kiss is the doorway
The heart locked in fears reborn
Dream dawn work day
Explode within, stillness of soul
Dream with me outloud
A*LONE
A*LONE
"Alone," she spoke…
each word caressing itself forward
"Out in the darkness the knowledge lies,
yet even those who wander will not find it."
this solitary cafe' where magic takes form
Dancing like shadows around our souls
"Wait" I had glimpsed something
"there, behind your eyes…
Do you hide dreams, memories?"
"No" she smiled softly,
more fear than ignorance
"My darkness is within, not out
you see with gemstones my friend…"
I left, now longing for return,
She still sits there…
contemplating nostalgia
now with closed mystery…
Now with ancient majesty…
now talking to H-rself.
LOST BETWEEN
LOST BETWEEN
Unstable and fragmentary, illusionary sensory reaction,
mystic elaborate reaction, enraged bitterness bleeding
finger tracing words on the walls
"no room no room no room"
I've looked for meaning and found more than I imagined,
all of it nothing, insubstantial shadows and unnatural void…
does it get any purer than this?
hearts all dirt and shit and remorse,
replaced lust with greed and desire with despair
remembering an innocence by touching the scars…
"I lost this to tragedy, this to excess, this to fear…"
a liturgy of soul-selling and dream-loss
lived off caffeine and nicotine
Addiction or vampirism?
maybe a little too much of both…
straining past what few barriers I have left,
mind unsure and awaiting encouragement…
need a script to make sense of the play.
"Words words words"
blood prince,
suicide,
to not be
and know you are not to be
and it is a form of freedom…
to see you are enslaved.
broken so long ago and still shattered…
it is building intensity within, given scorn,
I've been open-eyed in darkness,
waiting tears and ideas,
and ashamed and lost.
ON HEARST CASTLE
ON HEARST CASTLE
Over barren waste and silence seascapes
Humble nature bows to time
Letting mastery of form dominate the scars
We dare to confront the furies at their strongest not realizing that the final outcome is always madness, this treason of social morbid defecation in the face of all that is pure:
museums are nests of the worst scavenger
cannibalising emotions of the old masters
and burdening culture with cynicism
dark stark society of crass volunteerism
consumer values imploded void materialism
basing worth on price not craft of style
hollow against the structures
equally hollow in which they are contained
the mad mortals soft head
daring ancient goddesses to reinvent the curse
sweating the oaths of the morbid harmony
together we stand against sacred cows
and fresh ground meat our only sustenance
black skyline tracing extreme to extreme
in denial of the edge we plummet into meaninglessness
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