Articles

KEY'S TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

There is no power in a car key on its own, also the car engine has power, but it does not come to life without the key being put into the ignition. In other words, you cannot drive a car; you cannot move from point A to point B without igniting the car with the key. Though you have access to your car keys, if you do not use it, then you cannot move.

Jesus said in Matthew 16:19 “And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.” NLT.

“And that’s not all. You will have complete and free access to God’s kingdom, keys to open any and every door: no more barriers between heaven and earth, earth and heaven. A yes on earth is yes in heaven. A no on earth is no in heaven.” MSG

Keys signifies authority, access and privilege. Some things will not change, somethings will not move in your marriage unless you use the key of prayer that God has given you.

Having legal possession of the keys to a car is an evidence that you have the right to the car, the same way Jesus gives you the key to His Kingdom, you have the right to come before God in prayer for His will to be done in your life and marriage.

The problem is that we sometimes forget where we put the keys to our cars, we misplace the keys that unlocks God’s power, we go through a difficult time in our marriage and forget to use our key of prayer.

Another key to a successful marriage is patience or waiting. Most of us hate waiting, the world is saying its injustice to wait, our entire culture is built on not waiting e.g. there is drive through in the fast food stores to avoid waiting, there is fast delivery in postage, technology has taught us that its injustice to wait, we have speed at our finger tips. We therefore sometimes feel violated when we have to wait.

However, God’s Word says we should wait on HIM. Psalm 27:14 “I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God”. MSG

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord”. NIV

It took 40 years for Moses to receive his commission to lead the people out of Egypt. It took 17 years of preparation before Joseph was delivered from slavery and imprisonment.

I don’t know what you are waiting on God for in your marriage and life, it could be for financial freedom in your home, it could be for love and harmony to dwell in your home, it could be for your spouse to rise up to his responsibilities as a man, it could be for your children. God’s time is always the best and He is at work in your marriage. Wait on HIM and while waiting thank HIM and watch HIM open doors unto you.

Wait on God!

MATERNAL INSTINCT

Maternal instinct is something that mothers naturally listen to. That voice inside a mother that warns her when something is wrong despite when others tell her otherwise, the gut feeling she needs to protect; this is God’s gift to mothers. It is something that is so profound and amazing and should never, ever be ignored.

God does care for His children and does not just fathers us but also mothers us. One of the common images of God is Him as a mother bird sheltering her children under her wings. The bible says in Ruth 2:12 “May you be richly rewarded by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.” In the book of Psalms 17:8, the bible says…“Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.” Also Psalms 57:1 says “I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.” And Psalms 91:4 says “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge”. Mothers are designed by God to keep their children safe, nurture and care for them within their human power and to be spiritually alert concerning their children. As a mother (both Biological and spiritual), God has given you the grace to nurture and care for your children, you need to tap into that grace.

As mothers, God expect us to teach our children, God does not expect us to be selfish; thinking of ourselves alone, we have responsibility and we are engraced to carry out this assignment. In Hosea 11:3-4, we see an example of God as a mother, “Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk, I who took them up in my arms; but they did not know that I healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with bands of love. I was to them like those who lift infants to their cheeks. I bent down to them and fed them.”

Once mothers bring children into the world, they work to preserve and save their children from harm and death. Israel’s cry to God, possibly recorded while in its Babylonian exile, offers imagery of how God as a mother preserves God’s child, Israel. In Isaiah 49:13-15, God responds to the people’s cry by reassuring them with the question, “Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb?”

Mothers have a unique and crucial role in the lives of their children, Motherhood is not chore or unpleasant task. Mothers play an ongoing role in the lives of their children, whether they are adolescents, teenagers, young adults or adults with children of their own. While the role of motherhood must change and develop, the love, nurture, care and encouragement a mother gives should never cease.

If you are a mother and you are struggling on how to mother your children, I want to encourage you to change your focus to God, tap into the grace that He has given unto you as a mother and He will surely help you.

This is a call to mothers to awake and let’s use our maternal instinct and the grace that God has given to us as mothers, let’s raise a greater generation of children who will stand for God.

KINDNESS - AN ESSENTIAL VIRTUE IN MARRIAGE

Bad experiences in life have a way of influencing your kindness towards people which unfortunately may be extended to your spouse.

Kindness to one another is a key factor to have in a marriage. A lot of times, we overlook the act of being kind and do not place value on it but it does help in building a strong companionship with your spouse and help to increase your love for one another and strengthen your marriage. When two people are kind to each other, there is no stopping the growth of closeness, friendship and intimacy.

Kindness is defined in the dictionary as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. According to the word of God in Galatians 5:22; kindness is a fruit of the Spirit “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law”. Yielding yourself to the Spirit of God and allowing His Spirit to develop and mature in you will help you to bear the fruit of kindness.

It is God’s nature to be kind or show kindness. In the book of Ephesians 4:32, the word of God commands us to be kind. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”. God encourages His people to be kind to one another, even enemies. Jesus spent His ministry searching for the weary, the sick, the poor and the lonely that He might show kindness towards them.

No act of kindness is ever wasted. Acting kindly can change the giver and the receiver for good. Kindness pardons others weaknesses and faults.

Your relationship began with kindness, it began with love and if for whatever reason, it has slipped away and the love fire has gone down, it’s time to bring it back, it is time to rekindle the fire. Kindness is an essential virtue in a healthy and happy marriage.

ENJOY YOUR MARRIAGE DON'T ENDURE IT

God’s intention for your marriage is that you enjoy it and not endure it. One of God’s reason for creating marriage is for positive companionship, which is meant to be an enjoyable companionship not an endurable companionship. The bible says in Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

A helper is meant to encourage, support, to be a solution to her companion or husband’s deficiency, to make things work for her companion given to her by God. A helper is meant to enjoy what she does in the relationship. It is important for you to know that as a woman and a helper to your husband that God did not create you above or below your husband; you are made to complement your husband.

In my experience of counselling married women, I have observed that some women who have challenges in their marriage think of themselves as inferior to their companion, they think of themselves as incapable, they think of themselves as someone who have nothing to offer to their relationship when God has embedded in them what they need to have an enjoyable marriage. No one can make you inferior without your permission! Everything that God created is perfect so you are a perfect being.

You have to be determined to enjoy your marriage. As women, God has embedded in us the power to build our home. The bible says in Proverbs 14:1 “Every wise woman build her house: but the foolish pluck it down with her hands”. Great women are not born; they are made. A great woman chooses to be great. She has the right priorities for her life; she is wise and disciplined; her family, relationship and territory prospers. As women, we have a tremendous opportunity to build a family that will be to the glory of God and profit of others well into the future. It is your choice to be wise, build and to enjoy building your home.

The key factor to enjoying your marriage and not enduring it is to create a personal altar for God in your home. Commune with God daily about your marriage, confess His word about your marriage, practice His word regarding your marriage, stay positive, and don’t give up! Always remember that He created marriage to be enjoyed by you not endured.

Ephesians 5:31 says “A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”. Husband and wife are to live as one, united in love for God and for one another, modelling the love Christ has for His bride, the Church.