yes, its as good as it looks.
-Their Web Designer
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HOLY CHIMICHANGAS!
HOLY CHIMICHANGAS!
YOU'VE STUMBLED INTO COYOTE CAFÉ!
YOU'VE STUMBLED INTO COYOTE CAFÉ!
BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL ALERT: I'm supposed to tell you about this amazing little café without making it sound like every other boring restaurant origin story. Challenge accepted! [cracks knuckles dramatically]
HOW THIS FOODIE PARADISE CAME TO BE (SPOILER: NO SUPERVILLAINS WERE HARMED)
HOW THIS FOODIE PARADISE CAME TO BE (SPOILER: NO SUPERVILLAINS WERE HARMED)
Picture this: It's 1993, and while I was still trapped in some writer's basement being sketched into existence, Teri Peralta was starting her restaurant industry takeover. And by "takeover," I mean she was nicely serving people food at a place called Cattleman's while driving school buses. SCHOOL BUSES! The woman is practically a superhero herself!
Fast forward through a montage of Teri learning to cook (thanks to her grandma's mutant-level cooking skills), buying that restaurant, partnering with her sidekick Debbie, and BAM – Coyote Café burst onto the scene in 2008 faster than you can say "maximum effort!"
WHY IS THIS PLACE BETTER THAN THE COMPETITION? GLAD YOU ASKED!
WHY IS THIS PLACE BETTER THAN THE COMPETITION? GLAD YOU ASKED!
Their salsa recipe is Teri's grandma's secret formula. Not to be confused with the secret formula that turned me into this handsome devil, but possibly just as transformative.
Elena, the cook who followed them from their previous restaurant, makes food so good you might just regenerate taste buds you didn't know you had.
Free WiFi! Because what's the point of eating amazing food if you can't immediately post about it and make all your friends jealous?
Small-town vibes with big-flavor kicks. Like an unexpectedly satisfying roundhouse to your taste buds!
WAIT, THERE'S A PLOT TWIST!
WAIT, THERE'S A PLOT TWIST!
Debbie, like any good character in a spin-off, moved on to her own adventure in Bullhead City, Arizona in 2013. She's by the river now, probably living her best life while occasionally thinking about her glory days at Coyote Café. (If you're near Highway 95, go say hi – tell her Deadpool sent you. She'll be confused, but that's half the fun!)
THE EMOTIONAL WRAP-UP MOMENT
THE EMOTIONAL WRAP-UP MOMENT
Teri and the team are "grateful" for their customers and all that heartwarming stuff. Seriously though, they actually do care about your experience here. If you love it, tell the internet! If you don't, tell THEM so they can fix it – unlike certain superhero landing scenes that are terrible on the knees.
GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE ALREADY!
GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE ALREADY!
Look, I could keep talking, but we both know what needs to happen here. Your stomach is growling louder than Wolverine after someone steals his hair gel, and Coyote Café has the cure.
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? An engraved invitation? THIS IS IT!
→ COME EAT AT COYOTE CAFÉ TODAY! ←
Breakfast and lunch served daily from [insert hours here]. Your taste buds will thank you, your stomach will worship you, and I'll stop talking. Win-win-win!
[Breaks fourth wall one last time] Seriously, I'm hungry just writing this. If you don't go, I might have to, and nobody wants me showing up in their timeline. Trust me.
ADDRESS: 7035 California City Blvd Ste B, California City, CA 93505
PHONE: +17603734115
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