## Feedback Report - Student Text
### Syntactical Correctness
Overall, the student text demonstrates good syntactical correctness. The sentences are structured correctly, and there are no major grammar errors. However, there are a few minor issues that can be addressed to improve the text's clarity and coherence.
1. **Correction:** Instead of "être avoir," the correct phrase is "avoir le choix" (to have the choice). So, the correct sentence would be: "Si je devais choisir entre avoir un travail où je gagne beaucoup d'argent et avoir plus de temps pour moi-même, je choisirais la seconde."
### Deep Mechanical Correctness
The student text also displays deep mechanical correctness, with the ideas expressed in a clear and understandable manner. However, there are a few areas where improvement can be made to enhance the overall impact of the text.
1. **Relevance:** While the student's point about wanting to enjoy their time on the planet is valid, it would be beneficial to provide more specific reasons or examples to support this choice. This would make the argument more persuasive and convincing.
2. **Style and Expression:** The text lacks variety in sentence structure and expression. Consider using different sentence lengths and incorporating more descriptive language to make the writing more engaging and interesting for the reader.
### Actionable Steps for Improvement
To further enhance the syntactical and deep mechanical correctness of the student text, here are some actionable steps for improvement:
1. **Choose the correct phrase:** Use "avoir le choix" instead of "être avoir" in the sentence: "Si je devais choisir entre avoir un travail où je gagne beaucoup d'argent et avoir plus de temps pour moi-même, je choisirais la seconde."
2. **Provide specific reasons or examples:** Support the choice of having more time for oneself by providing specific reasons or examples. This will help to strengthen the argument and make it more persuasive.
3. **Vary sentence structure and expression:** Experiment with different sentence lengths and incorporate more descriptive language to make the writing more engaging and interesting for the reader.
By implementing these actionable steps, the student can improve the syntactical correctness, deepen their argument, and enhance the overall impact of their writing. Keep up the good work!
Copiad alguna redacción que os haya enviado algún alumno/a, o escribid un párrafo que contenga errores (gramaticales, de vocabulario, ortografía…). Pedidle a Eduaide que os dé feedback.