Hi Ivy, most people are in shock when they or their partner is diagnosed. How is he coping with this? HIV today is very different to earlier years. Modern treatment not only means your boyfriend can have a normal life, but it will also protect you. After a few months your boyfriend should have an undetectable viral load and after this it means you are not at risk. Have you also taken an HIV test?
Because of this your test is probably accurate. You may want to take another test just to confirm the result. However you do not need to be concerned about your status. The first test is a really good indication that you are negative.
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My boyfriend, who I have been dating for a while now, says that he is fat and I don't think he is. He is built, but he isn't fat. And he talks about it all the time, and I just don't know what to say to him. He said that when he used to talk with his other girlfriend about it, that she would say, "well, go on a diet," and he said that made him feel like he was fat. And I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I know that by losing weight, he would feel better about himself. But I like him for who he is and how he looks. But what should I say to him when he says things like he is fat, do you think I'm fat, etc.?
It's difficult, challenging, and potentially straining to be in a relationship with someone who has a weight complex. Your boyfriend's consistent remarks about being fat indicate that he feels uneasy about himself and may be looking for validation to feel better about himself, at least temporarily. You want him to like himself as much as you "like him for who he is and how he looks," as you've written to Alice here.
It sounds as though your boyfriend has been struggling with his body image and self-esteem for some time now, and being in a relationship with a previous girlfriend who told him to diet most likely triggered or reinforced his insecurity with how he looks and feels about himself. People who have low self-esteem often have a thwarted sense of reality. Your boyfriend appears to be so focused on his appearance that his persistent self-criticism ends up hurting him, and likely the people who care about him, even more.
You want to know how to respond to your boyfriend whenever he becomes self-critical. Focus on telling him why you like him as he is, including that you like his body. For instance, if he says something like, "I am so fat I feel like a beached whale," you can reply with, "You are not a beached whale, you're my boyfriend and I think you're fantastic the way you are." Or, if he makes comments about himself in relation to clothes or being out of shape, for example, maybe you can divert the conversation away from "fat" and towards fitness, strength, and/or energy. Perhaps he says, "I don't like the way my pants fit me. I am fat and ugly." You can respond with something like, "The clothes are supposed to fit you, not the other way around. And besides, I love how strong and sexy you look in jeans."
Be careful, though, not to make it your responsibility to change your boyfriend's self-esteem. You can remind him of the reasons why you're with him, and tell him that you find him attractive, but avoid trying to control or change his attitudes and behaviors. Meaning, he needs to be comfortable with his body first before the fat comments can begin to dwindle. Also, be aware of comments or judgments you may make about your or others' appearance in his presence, as they could affect how seriously he'll take your affirmations of himself.
If these suggested responses are ineffective, you may need to react with "tough love" and say something like, "I love you and you know that it upsets me to hear you talk about this constantly. I don't know what else to say. You need to deal with this and learn to accept yourself. You are worth so much more than your looks to me and to others."
Your boyfriend may want to consider speaking with a counselor or therapist to begin learning to accept and appreciate the body he's in. Check out some of these resources to learn more about body image:
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years, and until recently, I felt like our relationship was perfect. I am very attracted to him: He is confident, well-groomed and has his life in order. We have a lot of mutual friends and enjoy eating out, clubbing and going on nice trips, but in some aspects, we are very different from each other.
Starting off your playlist you should think about what type of music they resemble. Are they an upbeat pop album? Or more of a really good EDM song? Regardless of what type of music they are, it is important to think about them and your relationship. When you picture your special someone what sound comes to mind? Going off that thought you can look through your other playlists to find what best resembles them. And whether you add an entire album or just a few songs is up to you. This can be a fun experience to go through your music library to see what songs spark a connection between the person and music.
Sharing music can be a very personal and intimate act. This is why it is important to put some of your favorite songs on this playlist. The songs that make you smile, the ones you scream the lyrics to, and the ones you have loved for the longest time. This is a simple act of telling your partner that you want them to enjoy the same things that you do. Hopefully, by doing this you can foster a playlist where you can both obsess over the same artists and songs together.
This is the section that should make your partner smile every time they hear them. Ideally, you would have gone to a concert with them which would fill up this playlist very fast. But if they are not as much a music lover as you are, it can be the song that played on your first date or anything you have a connection to listening to them with. This section of the playlist shows your partner that you remember and care about the experiences the two of you have gone through. Which makes songs sound even better when you have such a positive memory associated with them.
I have two children, both from different fathers. Last year my oldest and I moved in with my boyfriend who is the father of my second child. My oldest father is still in her life, but she was with me for all of last year. My question comes from when my boyfriend's mother offered to file his taxes (as she has done with him very year and with me last year). We previously had agreed that he would claim our son and I would work with my oldest father to determine how we would go about claiming her on taxes. Well, we have come to find out that his mother saved my oldest SSN and filed her on his taxes as well as a qualifying child. I made around $15000 last year, so I have to file and so does my eldest's father. Is he allowed to do this? If not, what should we do to avoid a super lengthy hold up if at all possible?
Not sure how you think having your BF claim your daughter solves the issue. If your children lived with you all year, then you are the custodial parent. You can claim your own children on your tax return. If someone else claimed one of your children incorrectly, then print, sign and mail your tax return. The IRS will sort it out.
Do you and the child's father have a signed agreement on Form 8332? If not, he cannot claim the child and will have to amend his own return. You do not have to wait for that----if his return has already been filed -- your child's SSN has been put into the system and you cannot e-file this year.
I was not involved in the decision for my boyfriend to claim my daughter that isn't his. His mother saved my information, including my daughters social security number, and filed her on his taxes without my knowledge. My boyfriend's mother has filed his taxes in years past so she went ahead and did it this year after just asking him to give her his W-2's and our sons SSN so my boyfriend could claim him because that is what we agreed on. He was never supposed to claim my daughter that is not his.
My daughter's father and I don't have any type of agreement. She lived with me all of last year. My daughter and son have different fathers. My daughter, who isn't my boyfriend's, was claimed on his taxes when his mother filed them. The plan was for me to claim her, but I was in talks with my daughter's father about it.
In your case, since the dependency has been claimed by another, you need to contest this with the IRS. Also, you need to fill out and maintain Form 8332, Release/Revocation of release of claim to Exemption for child by Custodial Parent (link to form below)
Okay---your post is very confusing because we cannot tell which boyfriend you are referring to. You have a child with an "ex" BF and live with a new BF. We cannot tell which one you are talking about. It sounded like you wanted new BF that you live with to claim the children.
Only you have the automatic right to claim the child as a dependent. Father 1 does not, because the child does not live with him, and father 2 does not, because father 2 is not the biological or legal father of child 1. If you won't be filing a tax return, or you want to allow father 1 to claim the $2000 child tax credit, you can give father 1 a signed form 8332 which releases child 1 to father 1. If you do file a tax return, you can list child 1 and answer yes the child lived with me more than half the year, yes there is a custody agreement, yes I will allow the other parent to claim the child. That will create a status in Turbotax where child 1 will not claim the $2000 credit for you, but will qualify you for EIC, the dependent care credit, and head of household, because those things can't be waived or transferred even with an agreement or court order. (Or, if you decide to claim child 1 yourself, you will answer yes you had custody, but no, there is no agreement to release the child.)
Let me try to better explain, I have a daughter with my ex-boyfriend (we can call him #1) and I have a son with my current boyfriend (#2) who I have been living with since the middle of last year. #2 has his mother filed his taxes and when she filed them, she claimed my daughter (the daughter of me and #1 who has no relation to #2 at all). I was not aware of that decision until after she made it without my knowledge. I understand that the title is misleading, but what I meant more so was that "he" did claim her on his taxes and I wanted to know if that was even allowed (which I figured it wasn't) and what I should do to try and remedy the situation now that it has already been done. 2351a5e196
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