Everybody over the age of four knows how important it is not to be a "sore loser"--and how difficult. When you lose your whole fortune to your sister at Monopoly, you are not supposed to burst into tears, accuse her of cheating, call her a greedy old moneybags, hit her, tear up the paper dollars, hurl the pieces across the floor, or run screaming from the room. You are supposed to be gracious in defeat: congratulate the winner, allow her to enjoy her victory, stifle your sorrow, and pretend not to mind too much. After all, it was only a game.
It is perhaps unfair that the moral and emotional burden of the situation should fall on the one who has suffered defeat, but the same rules apply beyond the playroom as well, and into the political arena. Howard Dean, we are told, lost the nomination for the Democratic Party in 2004 because he failed to lose well in Iowa: the scream was fatal. Even in war, when winning and losing is a matter of life or death, we still hang on to the unrealistic hope that the losing nation will do the decent thing--that it will accept defeat with good grace, rather than fighting back with terrorism or breaking up into civil war. It is the loser's job to make sure things do not get out of hand.
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