From Horsemanship To Human Relationships 

De Horsemanship A Las Relaciones Humanas

Companionship, described as sharing space without interaction or expectations, helps build and restore trust and respect. It creates a foundation that makes future interactions more natural and effortless. This type of shared presence fosters a peaceful environment that encourages connection.

There is a point where you remain calm, confident, clear in your intentions, and open in your energy, even when setting boundaries or being firm. Tuning into this frequency is essential for healthy communication, especially in challenging situations.

If a situation becomes uncomfortable or dangerous and you feel the need to move, do so with calm, demonstrating that the decision to act is yours, rather than being forced to react. Your movements can be quick, but they should still feel grounded, purposeful, and not abrupt.

The main reason someone willingly stays with you and follows you is the pleasant feeling of your company and the well-being generated by the experience with you, rather than what you can provide for them.

If you notice the other is agitated or uneasy, you can hold space for them and be the help they need by simply being present. This means being available and allowing the other to express themselves without interference.

You exude a subliminal message through your energy and presence, shaping the course of your interactions.

The boundaries you set with others are related to your comfort, in respect to yourself. Within that boundary, there is space where the other can move freely without affecting your comfort zone. When that boundary is crossed, what happens is between the other and how the boundary affects them, and it has no relation to you. It is the other’s responsibility to resolve their own challenges with the boundary, without your intervention. Your role is to be clear and firm about what you are comfortable offering. By not intervening in the other’s experience, it is likely they will return to the boundary, as any consequence they experience will be the result of their own action, not your intervention.

Understand the difference between the approach motivated by the desire to be with you and connect, versus the approach motivated by curiosity and wanting to explore.

A good indicator for the relationship is how comfortable you feel in the presence of the other, as this can help guide the distance you choose to maintain. Additionally, the calmer, more centered, and grounded you are, the more likely it is that the other’s attitude toward you will be positive, which can, in turn, increase your own sense of comfort.

When you give the other space to take their time to connect with you, it inspires the trust they need to open up. The space is not only physical, but also energetic and emotional, and by allowing the other to take their time, you give them the opportunity to feel safe, which fosters genuine connection.

In the early stages of a relationship, respect builds trust, which creates space for connection. As that connection strengthens, it is important to maintain clarity about your personal space while the foundation of trust and respect is solidified.

Often, the other reflects to you the areas in which you're out of harmony with your inner balance. If you close yourself off, fighting against the other or the situation, you won't be able to see what the other is showing you or what they're truly going through. The invitation, then, is to look at it with gratitude, humility, and openness, so that you can return to yourself and be in a place from which you can gain clarity on what the situation is inviting you to participate in.

Sometimes, when you are centered and grounded, the other doesn't approach, not because there is no interest or trust, but because they perceive that 'everything is fine'. In that case, an approach might require a motivation, such as wanting to be in your company, or an invitation from either party.

Sometimes you think you're ready for the other to come closer. You put in all the effort, the intention, your heart, and you invite them with enthusiasm. And when they respond with the same enthusiasm, you hesitate. Not because you don't want it, but because, deep down, you didn’t truly believe they would respond that way. And then you realize that what you desire can actually happen.

Affection is not always the best response, as there are moments when it can actually reinforce something you don’t wish to encourage. By offering immediate physical contact—like a gentle touch—you might unintentionally validate a behavior that needs to transform. Sometimes, the most honest thing you can communicate through your presence is: 'I'm here. I see you. I’m not participating in this, but I’m not rejecting you either.' Offering affection with awareness is also a form of respect—toward the other, toward the moment, and toward the relationship you wish to build.

Sometimes, when you offer affection to the other, you're actually seeking to affirm yourself, feel more secure in the space, seeking acceptance, or responding to an urgency to restore harmony. This often arises especially after a tense situation or when the other has shown a dominant attitude. It may seem like a genuine gesture of connection, but if it comes from an internal need —whether for security or acceptance— the message you convey becomes confusing. That ambiguity creates noise because there’s no coherence between what you feel and what you do: a gesture that seeks to connect authentically, but also attempts to calm your own discomfort or communicate: 'I'm harmless, you can trust me,' or ‘Is everything okay between us? Do you accept me?’ In those moments, the most powerful thing you can offer is simply your presence. To be there, calm, without intervening, without the need to justify yourself. That neutral space is more powerful than immediate affection because it neither fosters nor reinforces undesirable behavior, nor does it reject it. It is the space of balance that allows the other to self-regulate and recognize you as a clear, secure, and trustworthy figure. True connection is not demonstrated with gestures; it is transmitted from your inner certainty. And when you trust yourself, you no longer need to reaffirm yourself. Your strength is in simply being.

When a bond is new or still fragile, asking too much too soon can lead to confusion or rejection. In those moments, it is necessary to be willing to make the first effort and adapt so the connection can start to build. This doesn’t mean giving in, but rather planting a seed. If the other person doesn’t yet understand your language or your needs, giving more than you might initially feel comfortable with is a way of saying, 'I’m willing to make the effort for this to work because I value this bond.' You give to respect the other person’s pace and show your intention to create a positive experience. This initial willingness lays the foundation for a more balanced and harmonious collaboration in the future. So perhaps what drives you to give more in the early stages is something deep: the trust that by being flexible, you are making it possible for both of you to walk together in the future.

The difference between dancing together and simply directing the other lies in having an intention with a shared purpose and emotional meaning for both. Without that common purpose, the connection breaks: it ceases to be a communion and becomes an empty direction for the other. If you want the dance to continue, each new step you propose must arise from that connection, with emotional continuity, a clear transition, and a listening that honors the living communication, also validating the other’s attempts to join in, in their own way, what you are proposing.

Sometimes we want a smooth and easy connection, but the authentic path begins with honesty, even when it feels uncomfortable. A turning point in the relationship happens when we allow and value the other to speak their truth, even if that truth isn’t sweet or pleasing. When the other stops acting according to a learned role and dares to express their authenticity, even if it means setting a boundary, this is only possible if they feel enough trust, freedom, and emotional safety with you. These moments are like windows into their inner world, and when the other shows themselves this way, they are telling you something very important: they are beginning to trust you enough to reveal their truth, even if it makes you uncomfortable or surprised.

There is a field of shared consciousness that we can access, where what has not been said in words or through body language expresses. This field can naturally reveal itself when we are present in connection with the other.

Connection isn’t measured only by how present you are, but also by how much space the other have to choose how they want to be with you.

Active emotional presence means being able to share what you feel and what you need, from a place of inner clarity—knowing that what you are experiencing is yours, yet sometimes you also need something from the other. It might be space, companionship, play, listening, or simply shared presence. All of this, without losing sight of the unique value of being here and now with the other, in the present moment.

Sharing yourself doesn’t mean burdening the other with what you feel—it means inviting them to see who you are, honestly. And if there’s something you need, you can express that too, from the same place of presence. The connection becomes more true when you include your full humanity—your emotions, your needs, your silences, and your movement—while still respecting the other’s space.

The other needs to learn to follow themselves first, before they can truly follow you. Only from that place can a real connection arise, free from conditioning or submission.

Setting a boundary is not about reacting to the other, but about standing firmly in an inner place of presence. To ‘grow big’ is not to impose, but to fill oneself from within — from the heart. It means grounding into the body, giving weight to one’s energy, and speaking with clarity, without harshness. It’s about communicating from the heart without pushing the other away.

Respect must be revisited and renegotiated whenever the situation changes. In healthy relationships, it is essential not to assume that previous agreements always apply. You need to stay attentive to what changes, read those signals, and communicate with honesty and openness to maintain trust and connection.

We want to be taught how to relate to one another. The other shows us how they wish to be led, while we, in turn, teach them how we wish to be approached. This mutual learning is what truly creates a deep, lasting bond.

Observe with curiosity, rather than judgment or expectation of a specific outcome. This allows you to see the situation as pure information, not as a “problem” to solve. It opens the door to a point of entry for connection: true connection arises when we respond to the reality of the other, not to how we think they “should” behave.

Authentic leadership, in its influence dimension, allows cooperation to emerge voluntarily and consciously, strengthening trust, respect, and the autonomy of each individual. In its structural dimension (more as a role or responsibility), it maintains a safe and coherent framework while inviting collaboration through trust and understanding. It establishes clear boundaries and a reliable framework that ensures safety and order, always respecting individual needes and without the need for punishment.

Real intimacy happens when you’re able to hold the emotional space that the other opens, and also when you’re willing to enter and let yourself be touched by what they’re showing you. When the other opens up emotionally—sometimes in a vulnerable way—they’re revealing their truth. In those moments, what they need most is not a quick response or a nice reaction, but for you to stay a little longer inside that space with them. Choosing to stay a little longer doesn’t just mean holding space for the other—it also means letting yourself be touched: allowing the emotion enter, letting it affect you, awaken something in you. When you respond quickly, even with something kind or appropriate, it can feel like you’re passing over the emotion—as if saying, “Thanks, I saw your emotion, now I’ll go back to my own thing.” Staying a little longer means getting involved; is like sitting beside the other in the world they’ve just shown you, instead of applauding from the outside. It’s telling them, from the place where you were touched—through words or through your presence: “I’m here with you. I didn’t just understand what you said—I can feel what you were trying to show me.” Because deep down, the other who opens up doesn’t just want to be heard but also to be felt.

Being firm is an act of self-respect. It has nothing to do with being difficult or rejecting the other. It’s not about them, nor about the relationship — it’s about your inner clarity: what you need, what you can hold, what you choose to protect in yourself. It’s about setting a clear boundary from a place of self-alignment. Not from harshness, but from self-love. At the same time, flexibility is an act of collaboration — when possible. It’s not about being “easy” or neglecting yourself. It’s about being human, being present for the other, as long as it doesn’t come at an internal cost to you. It’s a chosen act of generosity, not of self-abandonment.

Sometimes, when something makes you feel open or vulnerable —whether it’s the way the other looks at you or the situation itself— you might feel overly exposed. Then, you may believe that the only way to protect yourself is to shut down, hide, or dim your light. But you don’t need to hide to feel safe. True protection comes from your center, not from withdrawal. You don’t need to close off or shut down to protect yourself. You can learn to stay present —soft yet firm— with clear boundaries, fully inhabiting your body with presence. Even if others are watching you, they can’t cross your space without your permission. It’s not about blocking or rejecting others, but about maintaining a clear, well-held inner space. You can shine, show up as you are, and still be protected. Safety doesn’t come from shutting yourself away or becoming invisible —it comes from your inner strength.

The act of giving has nothing to do with being a good or bad person. Giving is a genuine gesture —an expression of connection and presence with the other. When you pay attention to what the moment is truly asking for, you can give wisely —not too much, not too little. Wisdom lies in balance. Being a good person means acting with awareness, integrity, and respect —for yourself and for others. A good person is not someone who always gives, but someone who gives when it feels true, and who knows how to say no without guilt when necessary.

To participate is to be in sustained presence, that is, to remain centered in yourself, to stay with your desires, your intentions, your invitations. That sustained presence does not depend on the ebb and flow of external responses. It is a presence with roots. Participation is freedom with commitment; it is connection with yourself first — and from there, with the other. It is being there because it arises from within you, because your energy chose to be there, and that feels profoundly different.

The social territory is a living field. It is that invisible field where someone feels legitimized to be, to act, and to be recognized. It is not something one possesses, but something one inhabits. This field is alive; it is not static. When someone new enters, the field reorganizes itself. In a healthy territory, it is accepted that the field is alive and can expand. There is connection, flow, and interdependence. In a possessive or rigid territory, it is believed that the space has an owner. Change is experienced as loss, and control, jealousy, and competition appear. The only certainty is that the field is always moving. You can choose to expand with it or contract to avoid losing your place.